Last night I told you I loved you
Woke up blamed it on the vodka.
Last night I did something stupid. I was out for a drink with Lewis, Laura and James like usual on Friday I don't know what happened because I usually only drink a couple on those nights. Maybe I was fed up of being in a marriage practically on my own, Richard had once again 'gone away with work', I don't know why he bothers with the excuses anymore, we both know where he's really going. I'm not sure how long exactly that he's been unable to stay faithful but it's been at least a couple of years.
One glass turned of wine turned to 4 which somewhere along the way became shots of pure vodka. Don't ask me how that happened because I have absolutely no recollection of starting doing shots but I know for a fact that it happened. Vodka is not my usual drink purely because of the fact that it gets me very drunk very quickly. When I, like everyone else, get drunk I do very stupid things. Usually I'm a very level headed person and don't go out and wild but it happened this time.
The rest of the evening is all a bit of a blur but one moment shines through the blur of events. I remember being in James' car, he must have been nominated to drive the drunken version of me home. Don't laugh but James is the object of my secret fantasies but it seemed like the drunken version of me had forgotten the meaning of the secret. I told him I loved him. You can laugh now.
I texted him this morning and blamed the amount of vodka I'd drank for that, I can't fully blame it though because although it was the alcohol that caused me to tell him I was the one that felt like that in the first place.
He's not replied yet but he's not brilliant at waking up early at weekends, I don't know that for a fact but on Saturday and Sunday mornings it's near in possible to get hold of him.
Monday will bring a new challenge because you can never really tell how a persons thinking or feeling over text whereas face to face I can generally read people like a book. He could say something over text but on Monday things could be awkward between us and I wouldn't blame him for it because it's all my fault.