Title: Shamed
Summary: What happened to Adam after "Snow Day" (Spoilers for the episode)
Disclaimer: CSI:NY and related characters belong to CBS and other lucky people.
Author's Notes: I know I'm late on this, but I finally finished it to my satisfaction. Not beta'd, so all mistakes are mine.

--

Still at the scene, Adam sat on a crate against the wall, cradling his injured hand. His eyes darted all over, never settling on anything for more than a couple seconds. Then he saw a pair of medics come rushing into the warehouse and he watched as they raced past him to where Lindsay had settled Danny down. He watched with fearful eyes as Danny was placed on the stretcher. He watched as the medics got Lindsay out of their way as they examined him. Then he watched as the stretcher was pushed back to the ambulance.

The events were swirling around his head like a never-ending tornado, and a small part of him didn't want them to stop. In the truck, he'd been scared and shaking. And he was still scared and shaking. He'd heard that one of his captors was dead, and that the other was seriously injured since Danny had thrown sulfuric acid in his face. His darting eyes saw police officers around him, but he still didn't feel safe. He wasn't sure if he ever would again.

"There you are!" he heard an unfamiliar voice from one side.

Out of instinct, he turned to see a young female officer two feet from him. He didn't move, he didn't open his mouth. He only looked at her, blinking.

"Oh, it's alright now," she said, reaching a hand out towards him.

He moved then, shrinking away from her. An image of the masked captors flashed in front of his eyes, and the fear was taking over.

He watched as she took a step back, her hands up to show that she was of no threat. Adam still eyed her warily, studying her as she stood in front of him. His posture didn't ease at all, but he moved back to where he'd been. And she took it for what it was, a tiny sign of trust.

"An ambulance is coming for you. Detective Flack said that you need a hospital, and that there's no argument about that."

Adam nodded slightly, but remained silent. Nothing more was said as he went back to watching the commotion around him while keeping an eye on the officer. It wasn't long before a medic with a kit came right to him.

Swallowing hard, he allowed the medic to tend to him, flinching whenever the medic's hand touched skin. Adam was soon on a stretcher, in an ambulance, on his way to the nearest ER. It wasn't a long ride, and Adam was grateful. There was a flurry of action, and he resigned himself to just let it happen. Soon, the cuts were cleaned, as well as the burns, which were also bandaged. When the commotion calmed down, Adam found himself in a clean set of hospital scrubs, a bandage on one hand and an IV in the opposite arm. He vaguely remembered being told that there was saline, antibiotics and a pain reliever in the bag that was slowly being emptied into his bloodstream.

Exhaustion finally overruled Adam's hyper-vigilance, and his muscles relaxed as he sagged into the bed. But before he'd close his eyes, he had one more thing to do.

"Danny Messer?" he asked the nurse who'd come in to check on him.

With a sad smile, she answered, "It'll take some time, but I think your friend will be alright."

With that, Adam closed his eyes and fell into an uneasy sleep.

--

It all played again behind his eyelids, feeling the same things he did when the attack initially happened. Reliving it in his sleep made him wake with a start, opening his eyes to find the room darkened.

"Adam?" a familiar voice asked, and Adam slowly turned his head toward the voice. "You're alright now."

The figure reached out, and Adam was too foggy to react. A hand came to rest on his forearm with a slight squeeze, and stayed there. It took a few minutes, but Adam slowly became aware of the other man in the room.

"Doc Hawkes?" Adam hoarsely asked, his throat parched and scratchy.

"Sounds like you could use some water," Hawkes said, moving the hand on Adam's arm.

After some rustling, Adam had his cup of water, which he drank slowly under Hawkes's watchful eye. Once it was emptied, Hawkes took it and disposed of it. Then he sat back down, his hand going back to Adam's arm.

"What're you doing here?" Adam asked tiredly, slurring his words a little.

Hawkes shook his head a bit, then answered, "Making sure you aren't alone."

"Danny?"

"Lindsay's with him. Stella was here earlier, she's been floating between the two of you."

"Mac?"

"He's been around. He was heading toward London, but he didn't want to go anywhere while you and Danny were in the hospital."

Adam brought his hand up to his chest, bending his opposite arm as best he could to cradle the injury. Hawkes moved his hand as well, never losing contact with Adam's arm.

"I'm sorry," Adam said, shaking his head slightly. "I'm so sorry. I screwed up, it's all my fault. I'm so sorry."

Ignoring Hawkes' protests to the contrary, that was Adam's mantra until he fell asleep again. And the doctor was left wondering what Adam was talking about.