Disclaimer: I don't own CSI. At least not that I know of.
AN: I'm back from the dead! I had techinical problems, so sorry, people. Anyway, this is my second stab at angst, so don't expect this to be awesome. This also has some "Grave Danger" to it, so those who want to stay spoiler free, then, I'm sorry, you can't read this fic. Please read and review!
Nick sighed as he sat on the leather couch in his very own living room. It had only been a matter of hours when he had listened to a ten year old describe the events in the murder of her whole family. He cradled his weary head in his hands, tired from holding it up. Back when he worked the case of the little boy stuffed in a dryer, he'd thought he'd seen it all.
This mass murder case brought out the troubled side of him, something he had been self-conscious about. Everybody expressed their pity towards him. He just wanted to come out strong. And this time he did, not knowing that it showed most of his weakness.
It all began with a seemingly middle-aged woman suddenly talked to him while he was going over the case. She had asked him if he lives in the past. He shook his head no, after a millisecond reminder of the babysitter, Kristy Hopkins, Nigel Crane, and Kelly Gordon. They were all too painful to live through. He just sincerely admitted that he's already having a hard time dealing with his present life.
And then, she mentioned the "feminine energy" in him. At first, he had been rather confused at the whole situation. This stranger just came storming into him, telling him about his inner thoughts and darkness. Then, upon realization, he looked at her, in awe at how she could see through him. His hope for finding the little girl was strong. No one could've ever stopped him.
And then there was Cassie…
He lazily picked his head up upon hearing a knock on the door. He walked over and opened it, shooting a tired smile at the visitor on the other side.
"Hey Sar," he stepped away and let her in his humble abode.
She got right down to it. "How are you?"
"I'm hangin' in there." He took a seat right next to her on the couch.
"Look, about Cassie…I was wrong, you were right. I mean I shouldn't have implied that we had no chance of finding her."
Nick shook his head, "So what if I was right? That didn't make you wrong. I mean, yeah, come to think of it, past experience and common sense would definitely conclude that Cassie's dead, but…"
She finished for him, "Fate came to play."
"Yeah," Nick replied, looking intently at her.
"So how is she?" She asked, sitting in a more relaxed position.
He ran his fingers through his hair. "She's pulling through. She's gonna be fine in the long run."
"Good."
"But I'm not as worried about her physical health as I am with her mental and emotional status, you know?"
"Yeah." She reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers before settling them on his lap. "She'll be fine, Nick. She's a tough girl." She wasn't sure who she was trying to make feel better, but she did anyway.
"Nick looked down on his lap, where their hands joined. He shook his head. "Why do people do this, Sara?"
Sara looked at him. He was so weak and exhausted. His eyes were tired and wide in anticipation for an answer. "I don't know." They both noticed her voice falter, so Nick didn't press on.
He sniffled, but tears didn't quite make it out of his eyes. She could tell he was trying to stay strong. She was about to tell him to let it all out, but she thought of it better. She knew Nick hated to be the subject of pity.
She pressed a kiss to his temple and his hair in attempt to soothe him a little bit. He relaxed a little and then put his arm around her. They stayed like that for quite a while and broke apart, shoulders still touching as they sat silently.
"This morning, there was this woman who cam up to me," Nick began to speak in a trance-like manner. "She asked me if I believed in past lives."
"What did you tell her?"
"I'm already having a hard time living this one," this time, he actually looked at her with a sad smile. Sara was shedding a few tears, though she wasn't sure why.
She finally gave in and put her arm around him, "What else did she say?"
"Well, she told me I was doing a great job so far," he squeezed her shoulders in support.
"You are, Nick. You really are," she buried her face in his chest. "You don't even know."
He kissed her hair in thanks. "Then, she told me I had this crazy feminine energy goin' on."
This time, Sara couldn't help but chuckle against him. "Your reputation has reached far and wide, Nicky."
Nick himself laughed, "Yeah. Well, that was what I thought," he paused. "But then I thought about Cassie. Maybe it was her."
She picked her head up from his chest to look at him. "Maybe it was."
"I mean, normally, I don't believe in these things, you know? I'm a criminalist, for God's sake. I'm not supposed to believe people that much. But, I don't know, I just felt like I can't give up."
"It was a good thing you didn't."
An awkward silence filled the room.
"Hey Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry about what I said this morning at the dock."
"What was that?"
"That six months ago you wouldn't have been like this."
"Oh, that," Nick bit his lip. "It's okay."
"No, it's not, Nick. I crossed the line there. I mean, I guess adrenaline got the best of me, and I didn't know what I was thinking, and…"
"It's okay, Sara," he assured, a little more firmly this time. "Now we're even."
Sara raised a curious eyebrow at him.
"I heard you found me," it took a firm grip on himself for Nick not to break down.
Sara's face quivered. "From who?"
"My mom."
She buried her face again in his chest. She just learned how comforting it was.
"I never thanked you for that."
"Don't. I didn't do it as a favor. I did it for everyone. Especially me."
"Selfish bitch," he joked, lightening up the mood.
She laughed out loud, "Yeah, well, I wanted you for myself."
"Really, Sara, thanks. I owe you a lot." He hugged her tightly.
"Don't think I won't collect."
The two fell silent, contemplating about what they'd just talked about. They'd just both started to bring closure to two heavy situations. It wasn't all of it, but it was a start.
THE END
AN: See? I just worked on that for half an hour, in a daze. So, anywho, please review!
