Authors Notes: Is set about nine years after season six and eight years
after the End of Days. I have borrowed from 'The Family Man', which had
more of an effect on me the second time I watched it and I had to write
this as I felt that the story fits well in the Buffy universe. I have
conveniently pretended that the Spike thing didn't happen and also have not
included Connor, as he doesn't fit into the story. Therefore is slightly AU
from season six. (Anyone who has seen the film 'The Family Man' will know
which bits I borrowed. : )
Disclaimer: Not mine; belong to Joss, duh! And 'The Family Man' belongs to Beacon Communications and Universal.
Summary: Buffy gets the chance to see what her life might have been like if she'd made one important different decision.
A Glimpse
I thought I had the perfect life. I thought that I was finally happy in my finally normal life, boy, how wrong was I?
I like my life, it's what I wanted; I was so sure of it. I mean I occasionally got the feeling that there was more to be had, that there was something missing. What more was there? And then one image alone would flick across my minds eye and I got pissed off with myself and find ways to be distracted away from it till the feeling passed and the accompanying image along with it. It always did, except for.well now. But who doesn't occasionally get a little restless, however happy they appear to be?
There is something missing. Don't be ridiculous, of course there's not anything missing, my life's how I always wanted it to be. Finally normal, no more demons, either physical or metaphorical ones, I have a successful martial arts centre which I love, okay, so the initial buzz of teaching that I'd had seemed to have evaporated with the day to day running of the whole thing, the business side sucked the fun out of it a little, but I still loved it. There's no reason to feel like there's something missing, and there isn't. It's probably just the holidays. I mean, who doesn't get depressed at Christmas?
I unlock the door to my apartment and release a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. My apartment is just outside the busy city; there are seven apartments in the complex, secluded and apart from the rest, enclosed by several beautiful gardens. It's my haven, the only place I feel like myself, and it's my relief. I fell in love with it from the moment I walked in, how many years ago was that? I loose track, like I've lost track of so many things. They seem to escape me, or do I escape them? I don't know; I'm too tired for any in-depth introspection.
It's eight years, how did that happen? It doesn't seem that long since.. I snap out of it. There's nothing wrong with my life, it's perfect, just how I had wanted it to be. After all, time flies when you're having fun doesn't it? And I am, some of the time.
What time is it? Late, is all my brain will tell me, I vaguely recall that it's probably early Christmas Eve and will myself back to sleep with a groan. I didn't need Christmas. Almost immediately I had the strange sensation of being lifted off my bed, on which I'd inelegantly dumped myself several hours earlier after too much vodka. Weirdly, this didn't feel like the normal alcohol induced dreams I had, almost too regularly. No it was something else entirely. It couldn't be anything prophetic; I hadn't had one of those dreams since.well for eight years. Not after I was released of my slayer duties after it happened, the End of Days that is.
I wasn't allowed any more speculation as there was this sudden brilliant white light that engulfed me. I could barely see anything, fear of being blinded by the light; the most I could make out was the outline of two people a slight distance away. And then it was over, I knew that I was back in my bed, that light the only thing in my mind and somebody saying,
"Prepare yourself." Or maybe my inebriated mind imagined it. No, I had heard it, what the hell it meant was beyond me in my current state and I decided to ignore it, if I could, sleep was much the better option and besides, what was I meant to be preparing for? It didn't make much sense; there were no more things to fight. Not many anyway. And though I still had my strength I didn't go looking to kill the last remaining creatures because there wasn't much need to. They didn't draw attention to themselves by being obvious and killing people. They laid low and this was why I didn't bother with them, why should I? I had my own life to lead.
The too cheerful winter sun woke me early. For a moment I was back in that vividly white place before reality took over and I woke up properly. Shaking off any niggling doubts I had about the previous nights 'dream' or whatever it was I got up, not bothering to dress specially. It wasn't like I was going to see anyone important today and that was if I was going to see anyone at all. Willow had predictably invited me to their traditional Christmas reunion of the Scooby gang. I'd gone the first few times but I found that their happy lives seemed to eclipse mine somehow. I wasn't even sure why, I was happy, I had all I wanted; yet there was still something about the reunions that got to me. This didn't stop Willow sending the invitations, even though they didn't know exactly where I was. I'd travelled around at first, not really sure where I belonged and any mail was sent to me via my bank. Then when I stayed here and started the centre I just never got around to telling them my new address. There's a part of me that really wanted to, the rational side at least, but the other side just helped to keep them all at a distance.
They'd be surprised if they knew I was so close, I imagine Willow would be cross with me, I write to her occasionally, she seems to be the only one I can still talk to. And Giles, but then he moved back to England and back to Olivia. I wasn't really surprised and I'm glad he found someone and has a life and is happy. He writes to me more than I write back, but then I never was very good at writing things down, how I was feeling and stuff. He understands, I think he does anyway. And then there's Dawn, I see her occasionally, she's as busy as I am, busier. She graduated law school last year, I was so proud of her, she'd got a full scholarship and now she's doing well at a good firm in LA, I wouldn't be surprised if she relocated to the East Coast, New York or Boston. She's in demand. And I do see her sometimes, out for lunch or dinner in the city, she's never been here and for a while I wonder just why. I don't need to ask really, I've never invited her. Something seems to keep me keep her at a distance as well. She's got a busy life now anyway; I doubt she's too bothered. And like I say, I see her sometimes.
I hear church bells ringing not too far away, always busy on Christmas, I prefer church when it's quiet; I guess I don't get the magic of Christmas anymore, it feels like a long time since I did. I better get out of here or I'll end up getting drunk again, at least if I'm out I'll stop myself from it until tonight. I was never much one for alcohol before, but now it seems to be the familiar comfortable pattern I've slipped into. It's only around the holidays, when my aloneness is so painfully obvious. The rest of the time I can concentrate on my business and my students and the friends who know me as a happy and focused Buffy Summers.
I hear the door knocked at just as I put on my coat and the guy standing there when I open it has a bunch of red roses and a gift and a wicked grin on his face. He sets the things aside on the small hall table and skilfully wraps me in his arms in a kiss that may once have turned my legs to jelly, but not now. My occasional boyfriend, Michael, I met him at a club in town one night and we got talking. He travelled around a lot on business, never in places for very long and as alone as I was, he seemed a good idea at the time, but that was a couple of years ago, and as the occasional visits went on, occasionally, my heart just lost interest. I guessed I didn't want that kind of relationship. I guess I should tell him that though. I pull away and he looks at me now. My expression must have said it better than I could because he nodded his head, told me to keep the gifts, he bought them for me and that he understands. I guess his heart was getting tired as well. We couldn't have worked out when it was like this. I remember someone else who used to know what I was thinking just by looking at me. Things never turn out how you think.
Somehow unaffected by Michael's brief appearance I drive to work in the still busy LA of Christmas Eve and say a silent thank you that the centre will be quiet in the afternoon. There are a few classes this morning but other than that it'll be quiet. I told everyone to start their holidays today and that way I'll have the place to myself. Hopefully there shouldn't be time for anyone to ask why I'm not going to be with my family or whoever. But then, I'm not even sure if I told them that, they probably know anyway. Dawn went to the Scooby Christmas last year but she might even be working tomorrow, lawyers are like that I guess. They're buried in their work and at least she enjoys it like I do mine.
The turkey sandwich I made for lunch isn't too appetising but I eat it anyway. I sit cross-legged in the centre of Studio A and feel a bit better. Everyone's gone home after this morning's classes. Maybe it's the promise of the classes I have the day after Christmas; I have a few, that keeps my head above the ocean of mess that is my mental and emotional state. I can at least recognise that it's a mess. Someone decorated the centre; it was probably Phoebe and Julia. Jules is my deputy manager and they're both my friends. Of course they don't really know me but this way they think I'm normal and that's always good. My eyes are drawn to the angel that glitters at the top of the Christmas tree in the corner, I told them to use the star but I guess I was ignored; they liked the angel better. I don't like to be reminded is all. I almost hate him for affecting me the way he still does, invading my mind. I hate myself more, because when I think about it, it was my fault; I pushed him away. I thought I couldn't love him anymore but I couldn't think properly after it happened, after the End of Days battle. Somehow we all survived, we'd added to the wealth of emotional scars that we'd collected over the years but we were alive, breathing; and so was he. He was breathing, for the first time in almost two hundred and fifty years. How many times had I dreamed of that moment, of us being together and having a chance for a real life? How wrong can a person be? It just wasn't meant to be. Not then anyway.
Caught up in the heat and exhaustive aftermath of the battle we made love. Two bodies and souls celebrating victory and redemption and searching for the release that we had both desperately needed. A release from the pain and the waiting and one that only our love could give us. But like I said, it wasn't meant to be. I woke up hours later a different person, I honestly thought I was, the battle still fresh in my mind, all I could see and hear around me was pain and suffering and death. Yes, we had all survived but many hadn't many were to die later. It was all I could breathe and I saw the misery that I had brought to everyone. People would always die, but these people had died because I wasn't good enough to save them all. All I could think about was the pain I caused others and it hit me. Why should I be happy when they couldn't? I didn't deserve to be happy. Angel deserved better than me, he deserved someone who wouldn't bring misery to his human existence. So I walked away. He tried to talk to me but by then I wasn't listening. Something inside me stopped because I couldn't be with him and be happy so I stopped being me.
I can still hear his yelling and then gentle pleading, his eyes full of unshed tears. "I've never wanted anything more than I want you, than I love you and I choose us." My tears were never cried; I wonder whether his were. None of them really understood this. I guess they just saw a different person and assumed I didn't love him anymore. I don't think Xander was too sorry about it; even human Angel bothered him. My friends stayed in Sunnydale, they rebuilt their lives and they expected me to join in. But the thing was, Angel had been everything and then there was nothing. I couldn't stay after what had happened with him, so I didn't.
I left, I almost didn't, almost went back to his arms. I turned round for one last look before I boarded the plane and there he was. Standing a short distance away and my heart leapt. I shut it down and turned back to the plane and my future.
He must have hated me, I don't blame him but he must have got over me, us. One particularly shitty and lonely Christmas, the one after the battle, I went to see him. I still loved him and a little drinking session had released some inhibitions so I went to see if he could.still.I don't know. Whatever it was that I went for I didn't get it. I just got an eyeful of him and his new girlfriend. I knew I'd pushed him away but I hadn't really thought he'd have found someone so quickly. It hurt me like I'd hurt him and I guess I deserved that but I suddenly felt like we hadn't had anything special anyway. I know he saw me on my way out. I didn't say anything and he didn't try to speak to me so that's when I knew it was over. It actually helped me, he had someone like I'd wanted him to and I put him out of my head. Well, as much as I could anyway, its just times like now that I can't stop from thinking. I wonder where he is; he might still be living in LA. Maybe he kept up the agency; he still had his strength; but then there's probably less call for his agency's specific area. I can't even feel him anymore, I used to know when he was around but now.well if he is in LA I can't feel him. I guess I switched that off too. I'm too detached from him now. He probably doesn't feel me anymore either. No more demons eh? Okay so I still have issues, who doesn't? Stupid angel; I stare daggers at the one on the tree. Where was my guardian Angel? Did I even have one?
The clock says I've been here too long, frighteningly long actually. When I go into myself like that I really loose awareness of what's happening in the real world. I pack up what I need to take home and leave. It's actually cold for once, it won't snow though; it won't snow.
I stopped at the church on the way home; it was lit up and seemed to beckon me into its warmth. The only others I saw were an elderly couple, enjoying the peace as well as me. I didn't stay long, I never do; I just take a brief visit now and then. It's hope that lives there, hope that I visit, though it seems to leave me at the door as I leave. Either that or I bury it to avoid inevitable disappointment.
I have a walk to the open grocery store a little later. My head is too full of things and I think maybe the cold air will clear it. What happened did anything but that. On my way back I hear a muffled cry ahead of me and unable to just leave it alone I walk forward to investigate. Some guy was trying to take this girls bag and though she seemed to be keeping hold of it okay I didn't think she'd come out of it very well.
"Hey, you want to give that back?" I asked as I stood in front of him and the girl, my arms folded.
"Well, look what we have here, you want to play too huh? Well I think that can be arranged." He abandoned his pulling party with the girl and let go. She ran off and I was left with the mugger. He was way too cocky so I decided to teach him something. I dodged all his attempts to punch me, I hit his face a couple of times kneed him in the stomach and flipped him over. He looked at me like I was crazy when he came around, that was before he legged it down the street.
"Hey, thanks." I turned around and saw the girl whose bag he'd tried to take. I could have sworn she'd run off in the other direction.
"That's okay, are you okay? What's your name?"
"Hope, and yes I'm ok."
"Well, Merry Christmas Hope." I turned to go but she grabbed by coat sleeve, stopping me.
"That was a good thing you did, you know." She seemed to be trying to tell me something.
"Yeah. Do you need anything? Can you get home okay?" She looked at me for a second,
"Yeah, it's no problem."
"Everybody needs something."
"Yeah? What do you need?" The way she asked the question told me there was more than one meaning to her words.
"Me?"
"You just said everybody needs something."
"I've got everything I need."
"Wow, are you sure? It must be great being you."
"Yeah, okay." This was getting a bit weird, even for me. "You know you really shouldn't be walking alone so late, you might regret it someday."
"You're talking to me about regrets?" I looked at her, slightly puzzled while she laughed to herself. Did I know her? "I'm going to really enjoy this, you just remember that you did this Buffy, okay, you brought this on yourself." She told me as she walked away. I was going to ask how the hell she knew my name but she just repeated, "You brought this on yourself." I stood there for a second, trying to process what had just happened; it was the second weird occurrence within a day. When I looked up she was gone, I couldn't see her, not even faintly in the distance. Either I was going crazy, again, or something very strange was going on. I was still standing in the exact same place when a single snowflake landed on my nose. When I looked up, all I could see was snow. It was actually snowing and I walked home, my head even more full than it had been when I set out.
Tbc......
Okay people, I love feedback, it's like chocolate: addictive!
- Becca.
Disclaimer: Not mine; belong to Joss, duh! And 'The Family Man' belongs to Beacon Communications and Universal.
Summary: Buffy gets the chance to see what her life might have been like if she'd made one important different decision.
A Glimpse
I thought I had the perfect life. I thought that I was finally happy in my finally normal life, boy, how wrong was I?
I like my life, it's what I wanted; I was so sure of it. I mean I occasionally got the feeling that there was more to be had, that there was something missing. What more was there? And then one image alone would flick across my minds eye and I got pissed off with myself and find ways to be distracted away from it till the feeling passed and the accompanying image along with it. It always did, except for.well now. But who doesn't occasionally get a little restless, however happy they appear to be?
There is something missing. Don't be ridiculous, of course there's not anything missing, my life's how I always wanted it to be. Finally normal, no more demons, either physical or metaphorical ones, I have a successful martial arts centre which I love, okay, so the initial buzz of teaching that I'd had seemed to have evaporated with the day to day running of the whole thing, the business side sucked the fun out of it a little, but I still loved it. There's no reason to feel like there's something missing, and there isn't. It's probably just the holidays. I mean, who doesn't get depressed at Christmas?
I unlock the door to my apartment and release a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. My apartment is just outside the busy city; there are seven apartments in the complex, secluded and apart from the rest, enclosed by several beautiful gardens. It's my haven, the only place I feel like myself, and it's my relief. I fell in love with it from the moment I walked in, how many years ago was that? I loose track, like I've lost track of so many things. They seem to escape me, or do I escape them? I don't know; I'm too tired for any in-depth introspection.
It's eight years, how did that happen? It doesn't seem that long since.. I snap out of it. There's nothing wrong with my life, it's perfect, just how I had wanted it to be. After all, time flies when you're having fun doesn't it? And I am, some of the time.
What time is it? Late, is all my brain will tell me, I vaguely recall that it's probably early Christmas Eve and will myself back to sleep with a groan. I didn't need Christmas. Almost immediately I had the strange sensation of being lifted off my bed, on which I'd inelegantly dumped myself several hours earlier after too much vodka. Weirdly, this didn't feel like the normal alcohol induced dreams I had, almost too regularly. No it was something else entirely. It couldn't be anything prophetic; I hadn't had one of those dreams since.well for eight years. Not after I was released of my slayer duties after it happened, the End of Days that is.
I wasn't allowed any more speculation as there was this sudden brilliant white light that engulfed me. I could barely see anything, fear of being blinded by the light; the most I could make out was the outline of two people a slight distance away. And then it was over, I knew that I was back in my bed, that light the only thing in my mind and somebody saying,
"Prepare yourself." Or maybe my inebriated mind imagined it. No, I had heard it, what the hell it meant was beyond me in my current state and I decided to ignore it, if I could, sleep was much the better option and besides, what was I meant to be preparing for? It didn't make much sense; there were no more things to fight. Not many anyway. And though I still had my strength I didn't go looking to kill the last remaining creatures because there wasn't much need to. They didn't draw attention to themselves by being obvious and killing people. They laid low and this was why I didn't bother with them, why should I? I had my own life to lead.
The too cheerful winter sun woke me early. For a moment I was back in that vividly white place before reality took over and I woke up properly. Shaking off any niggling doubts I had about the previous nights 'dream' or whatever it was I got up, not bothering to dress specially. It wasn't like I was going to see anyone important today and that was if I was going to see anyone at all. Willow had predictably invited me to their traditional Christmas reunion of the Scooby gang. I'd gone the first few times but I found that their happy lives seemed to eclipse mine somehow. I wasn't even sure why, I was happy, I had all I wanted; yet there was still something about the reunions that got to me. This didn't stop Willow sending the invitations, even though they didn't know exactly where I was. I'd travelled around at first, not really sure where I belonged and any mail was sent to me via my bank. Then when I stayed here and started the centre I just never got around to telling them my new address. There's a part of me that really wanted to, the rational side at least, but the other side just helped to keep them all at a distance.
They'd be surprised if they knew I was so close, I imagine Willow would be cross with me, I write to her occasionally, she seems to be the only one I can still talk to. And Giles, but then he moved back to England and back to Olivia. I wasn't really surprised and I'm glad he found someone and has a life and is happy. He writes to me more than I write back, but then I never was very good at writing things down, how I was feeling and stuff. He understands, I think he does anyway. And then there's Dawn, I see her occasionally, she's as busy as I am, busier. She graduated law school last year, I was so proud of her, she'd got a full scholarship and now she's doing well at a good firm in LA, I wouldn't be surprised if she relocated to the East Coast, New York or Boston. She's in demand. And I do see her sometimes, out for lunch or dinner in the city, she's never been here and for a while I wonder just why. I don't need to ask really, I've never invited her. Something seems to keep me keep her at a distance as well. She's got a busy life now anyway; I doubt she's too bothered. And like I say, I see her sometimes.
I hear church bells ringing not too far away, always busy on Christmas, I prefer church when it's quiet; I guess I don't get the magic of Christmas anymore, it feels like a long time since I did. I better get out of here or I'll end up getting drunk again, at least if I'm out I'll stop myself from it until tonight. I was never much one for alcohol before, but now it seems to be the familiar comfortable pattern I've slipped into. It's only around the holidays, when my aloneness is so painfully obvious. The rest of the time I can concentrate on my business and my students and the friends who know me as a happy and focused Buffy Summers.
I hear the door knocked at just as I put on my coat and the guy standing there when I open it has a bunch of red roses and a gift and a wicked grin on his face. He sets the things aside on the small hall table and skilfully wraps me in his arms in a kiss that may once have turned my legs to jelly, but not now. My occasional boyfriend, Michael, I met him at a club in town one night and we got talking. He travelled around a lot on business, never in places for very long and as alone as I was, he seemed a good idea at the time, but that was a couple of years ago, and as the occasional visits went on, occasionally, my heart just lost interest. I guessed I didn't want that kind of relationship. I guess I should tell him that though. I pull away and he looks at me now. My expression must have said it better than I could because he nodded his head, told me to keep the gifts, he bought them for me and that he understands. I guess his heart was getting tired as well. We couldn't have worked out when it was like this. I remember someone else who used to know what I was thinking just by looking at me. Things never turn out how you think.
Somehow unaffected by Michael's brief appearance I drive to work in the still busy LA of Christmas Eve and say a silent thank you that the centre will be quiet in the afternoon. There are a few classes this morning but other than that it'll be quiet. I told everyone to start their holidays today and that way I'll have the place to myself. Hopefully there shouldn't be time for anyone to ask why I'm not going to be with my family or whoever. But then, I'm not even sure if I told them that, they probably know anyway. Dawn went to the Scooby Christmas last year but she might even be working tomorrow, lawyers are like that I guess. They're buried in their work and at least she enjoys it like I do mine.
The turkey sandwich I made for lunch isn't too appetising but I eat it anyway. I sit cross-legged in the centre of Studio A and feel a bit better. Everyone's gone home after this morning's classes. Maybe it's the promise of the classes I have the day after Christmas; I have a few, that keeps my head above the ocean of mess that is my mental and emotional state. I can at least recognise that it's a mess. Someone decorated the centre; it was probably Phoebe and Julia. Jules is my deputy manager and they're both my friends. Of course they don't really know me but this way they think I'm normal and that's always good. My eyes are drawn to the angel that glitters at the top of the Christmas tree in the corner, I told them to use the star but I guess I was ignored; they liked the angel better. I don't like to be reminded is all. I almost hate him for affecting me the way he still does, invading my mind. I hate myself more, because when I think about it, it was my fault; I pushed him away. I thought I couldn't love him anymore but I couldn't think properly after it happened, after the End of Days battle. Somehow we all survived, we'd added to the wealth of emotional scars that we'd collected over the years but we were alive, breathing; and so was he. He was breathing, for the first time in almost two hundred and fifty years. How many times had I dreamed of that moment, of us being together and having a chance for a real life? How wrong can a person be? It just wasn't meant to be. Not then anyway.
Caught up in the heat and exhaustive aftermath of the battle we made love. Two bodies and souls celebrating victory and redemption and searching for the release that we had both desperately needed. A release from the pain and the waiting and one that only our love could give us. But like I said, it wasn't meant to be. I woke up hours later a different person, I honestly thought I was, the battle still fresh in my mind, all I could see and hear around me was pain and suffering and death. Yes, we had all survived but many hadn't many were to die later. It was all I could breathe and I saw the misery that I had brought to everyone. People would always die, but these people had died because I wasn't good enough to save them all. All I could think about was the pain I caused others and it hit me. Why should I be happy when they couldn't? I didn't deserve to be happy. Angel deserved better than me, he deserved someone who wouldn't bring misery to his human existence. So I walked away. He tried to talk to me but by then I wasn't listening. Something inside me stopped because I couldn't be with him and be happy so I stopped being me.
I can still hear his yelling and then gentle pleading, his eyes full of unshed tears. "I've never wanted anything more than I want you, than I love you and I choose us." My tears were never cried; I wonder whether his were. None of them really understood this. I guess they just saw a different person and assumed I didn't love him anymore. I don't think Xander was too sorry about it; even human Angel bothered him. My friends stayed in Sunnydale, they rebuilt their lives and they expected me to join in. But the thing was, Angel had been everything and then there was nothing. I couldn't stay after what had happened with him, so I didn't.
I left, I almost didn't, almost went back to his arms. I turned round for one last look before I boarded the plane and there he was. Standing a short distance away and my heart leapt. I shut it down and turned back to the plane and my future.
He must have hated me, I don't blame him but he must have got over me, us. One particularly shitty and lonely Christmas, the one after the battle, I went to see him. I still loved him and a little drinking session had released some inhibitions so I went to see if he could.still.I don't know. Whatever it was that I went for I didn't get it. I just got an eyeful of him and his new girlfriend. I knew I'd pushed him away but I hadn't really thought he'd have found someone so quickly. It hurt me like I'd hurt him and I guess I deserved that but I suddenly felt like we hadn't had anything special anyway. I know he saw me on my way out. I didn't say anything and he didn't try to speak to me so that's when I knew it was over. It actually helped me, he had someone like I'd wanted him to and I put him out of my head. Well, as much as I could anyway, its just times like now that I can't stop from thinking. I wonder where he is; he might still be living in LA. Maybe he kept up the agency; he still had his strength; but then there's probably less call for his agency's specific area. I can't even feel him anymore, I used to know when he was around but now.well if he is in LA I can't feel him. I guess I switched that off too. I'm too detached from him now. He probably doesn't feel me anymore either. No more demons eh? Okay so I still have issues, who doesn't? Stupid angel; I stare daggers at the one on the tree. Where was my guardian Angel? Did I even have one?
The clock says I've been here too long, frighteningly long actually. When I go into myself like that I really loose awareness of what's happening in the real world. I pack up what I need to take home and leave. It's actually cold for once, it won't snow though; it won't snow.
I stopped at the church on the way home; it was lit up and seemed to beckon me into its warmth. The only others I saw were an elderly couple, enjoying the peace as well as me. I didn't stay long, I never do; I just take a brief visit now and then. It's hope that lives there, hope that I visit, though it seems to leave me at the door as I leave. Either that or I bury it to avoid inevitable disappointment.
I have a walk to the open grocery store a little later. My head is too full of things and I think maybe the cold air will clear it. What happened did anything but that. On my way back I hear a muffled cry ahead of me and unable to just leave it alone I walk forward to investigate. Some guy was trying to take this girls bag and though she seemed to be keeping hold of it okay I didn't think she'd come out of it very well.
"Hey, you want to give that back?" I asked as I stood in front of him and the girl, my arms folded.
"Well, look what we have here, you want to play too huh? Well I think that can be arranged." He abandoned his pulling party with the girl and let go. She ran off and I was left with the mugger. He was way too cocky so I decided to teach him something. I dodged all his attempts to punch me, I hit his face a couple of times kneed him in the stomach and flipped him over. He looked at me like I was crazy when he came around, that was before he legged it down the street.
"Hey, thanks." I turned around and saw the girl whose bag he'd tried to take. I could have sworn she'd run off in the other direction.
"That's okay, are you okay? What's your name?"
"Hope, and yes I'm ok."
"Well, Merry Christmas Hope." I turned to go but she grabbed by coat sleeve, stopping me.
"That was a good thing you did, you know." She seemed to be trying to tell me something.
"Yeah. Do you need anything? Can you get home okay?" She looked at me for a second,
"Yeah, it's no problem."
"Everybody needs something."
"Yeah? What do you need?" The way she asked the question told me there was more than one meaning to her words.
"Me?"
"You just said everybody needs something."
"I've got everything I need."
"Wow, are you sure? It must be great being you."
"Yeah, okay." This was getting a bit weird, even for me. "You know you really shouldn't be walking alone so late, you might regret it someday."
"You're talking to me about regrets?" I looked at her, slightly puzzled while she laughed to herself. Did I know her? "I'm going to really enjoy this, you just remember that you did this Buffy, okay, you brought this on yourself." She told me as she walked away. I was going to ask how the hell she knew my name but she just repeated, "You brought this on yourself." I stood there for a second, trying to process what had just happened; it was the second weird occurrence within a day. When I looked up she was gone, I couldn't see her, not even faintly in the distance. Either I was going crazy, again, or something very strange was going on. I was still standing in the exact same place when a single snowflake landed on my nose. When I looked up, all I could see was snow. It was actually snowing and I walked home, my head even more full than it had been when I set out.
Tbc......
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- Becca.