She stuffed her hands in her pockets and ducked her head down, hoping just once that she could make it back to her room without being noticed. It was a futile attempt on a station full of alliance personnel who, had no doubt seen the many extranet reports that they insisted on repeating at regular intervals. Soft and not so soft whispers reached her ears as she traversed the busy corridor.
"Hey, isn't that Commander Shepard?" followed by, "Isn't that the Hero of the Blitz?" Along with a number of other similar comments. At least no one stopped her this time, allowing her to make it to the safety of her temporary quarters. She suspected her quarters were larger than some, only the best for Commander Shepard right?
She let out a soft sigh as she moved into the washroom. Activating the sink, she splashed cool water over her face and peered at the reflection that was staring back at her. The dark rings under her eyes were the result of too many nights filled with nightmares. The Blitz may have appeared to be a win to some but, all she saw when she closed her eyes were the faces of those who didn't make it. She remembered the fear that gripped her as she fought like hell to keep the rest alive. She remembered the faces of those killed by her hands because they had gotten caught up with the wrong group. That was how terrorist groups operated, recruiting anyone looking for a pay cheque. That often included those far too young to truly understand what they were getting themselves in for. Those used as cannon fodder to keep the leaders alive for a little longer.
After drying her face Kimberly stepped back into the main living area of her room. A sense of emptiness washed over her as she glanced at the vacant bed. Being a soldier, one of the many downfalls was the lack of companionship. On assignment regs prevented fraternization and she was never on leave long enough to start anything meaningful. Even if she was, long distance wasn't an option many were willing to take. That combined with the fact that now, everywhere she went she was recognised, it either bought out the crazy fans or meant that people were too intimidated to approach her.
She was tired of slipping in to a cold empty bed every night, only to have that sleep interrupted by nightmares that were never ending. She was tired of having to be Commander Shepard whenever she was out because, that's what was expected of her. Slowly a plan started to form in her mind. Just for one night before she was due to report to her new assignment on the Normandy, she would be Kimberly. Commander Shepard could stay behind, assuming her idea's worked.
It took some time for her to put the plan in motion but, two hours later she was staring at a reflection in the mirror that even she almost didn't recognise. Her usual black locks of hair hung about her shoulders in blonde waves. The face that she almost never had time to apply makeup to was neatly made up with dark tones, including dark lipstick that covered her too light, pink lips. In place of her BDU's she had slipped on a white tank top that held a small N7 logo just above her right breast and a pair blue jeans. Casual without going over the top and far enough away from her regular uniform that she felt just like any other officer or civilian.
After giving herself a satisfied nod, she slipped back out into the corridor. As she passed several groups who were standing around conversing, there wasn't a single whisper of recognition. Like most stations Arcturus had a bar for soldiers to unwind during their downtime. The one thing that could be counted on was a bar being full of people during the nighttime hours, the perfect place for someone who didn't want to be alone.
The sounds of music, talking and laughter reached her ears as she neared the bar. Overall the atmosphere as she entered the dimly lit establishment was relaxed, it was exactly what she needed. The tension began to ease from her body as she scanned the scene around the room. Soldiers and friends were gathered at tables drinking and enjoying the company. The dance floor was littered with people dancing, some who were rather good at it and others not so. They were probably too drunk to notice the difference.
She sat herself down on a vacant stool at the counter, finding herself positioned between two alliance officers dressed in BDU's. One was a younger male who couldn't have been much more than a rookie recruit. She remembered those days, the excitement of signing up, the harsh but fair training and then going in her first mission. It seemed like a lifetime ago. It had always been assumed that she would follow in her parents footsteps and until more recent times it wasn't a decision she had ever really questioned.
On the other side was another officer who looked closer to her own age. His dark hair was still damp on top of his head from a recent shower, the deep brown eyes that briefly glanced her way when she sat down held the wisdom of someone who had seen things. As he shifted in his chair, the spicy scent of aftershave reached her nose. Even with the smooth, recently shaven skin around his face, he held that ruggedly handsome look that she was willing to bet had been the source of more than one shipboard crush.
Thankfully the bartender distracted her train of thought. She realised she had been staring at the brown eyed man for a little longer than was appropriate and he was looking back at her.
"What can I get for you?" the bartender asked. Successfully diverting her attention and her eyes back to the counter.
"I'll take a glass of your best Canadian red," she responded as she looked at the young man behind the bar.
He had an easy smile that suggested he enjoyed what he did. "A fine choice," the bartender added before moving on to take a couple more orders and then setting about making the drinks.
Kimberly tucked a stray lock of blonde hair back behind her ear as she carefully kept her attention on the selection of bottles lining the wall. When the bartender returned with a drink her mind was distracted, absently she reached for the glass. Her fingers connected with another set of warm fingers, biotics intermingled sending a shockwave up her arm.
Drawn back to the present she pulled her hand back quickly as her eyes snapped to the source of the other hand. She found herself looking into the brown eyed man's amused eyes. "I believe that is my drink," she said with a slight hint of annoyance, still trying to wrap her head around the strength behind the biotic shock.
"Umm actually, I placed the exact same order just a moment before you arrived." The tone of his voice matched the amusement still dancing across his features. He nodded in the direction of the bartender who was headed back towards them, "I believe that's yours on the way now."
"Sorry, I guess I was distracted," she said sincerely. As the bartender arrived with her drink she was quick to raise it to her lips. It was an attempt to cover the heat she could feel rising to her cheeks. She could only hope that the makeup she applied earlier was enough to cover the worst of her embarrassment from anyone else's view.
"You do look like someone with a lot on her mind," he said quietly. "Unless those bottles behind the bar really are a source of interest."
A soft sigh passed her lips. "That obvious huh?"
"I have been known to listen from time to time if you would like someone to talk to," he responded.
"That is a sweet offer but, unfortunately most of what I know is classified," she said wistfully.
"Alright, then how about a few drinks, some company and no talk about work related topics?" he asked. The hopeful expression in those brown eyes was impossible to resist.
She felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips that she couldn't stop. She had gone to the bar because she didn't want to spend all night in a lonely room but, she hadn't gone there intending to pick up some stranger. There was just something about him that was impossible to say no to. "Do you have a name?" she asked curiously. "Just first names," she added as an afterthought.
"Kaidan," he responded. "And yours?"
"Kim and if you promise no work talk, then I would love to join you," she found herself saying.
"There is a table just over there," he started as he motioned to a table on the far side, "I've been eyeing it off for a while because it appears to be a good distance from the loud music."
"I take it you're not a fan of loud music then?" she asked as she picked up her glass of wine and began following him over to the table.
"Only when I am dancing but it does make conversation difficult," he answered smoothly.
"Ahh huh so you do like dancing then?" She asked as they reached the table.
"With the right company I can be persuaded to," he responded with a slight raise of his eyebrows.
Kimberly sat down on the chair beside his as she locked her eyes with his warm brown ones. "So do you think I could persuade you to dance with me at some point this evening?" she asked with a sultry tone.
She had no idea what she was doing on an alliance station flirting with someone who was obviously another officer. Not that it was forbidden, so long as they didn't work with each other but, it was certainly something she would normally avoid.
His head moved in a little closer to hers, "I would say there is a very good chance that I could be persuaded." She felt her heart skip as an easy smile crossed his features.
Dammit, what was wrong with her? She was around soldiers constantly and no matter how much they flirted with her she had always been immune to their charms. The problem with Kaidan was the fact that he didn't really seem like he was trying to flirt with her, he was simply being nice. There was something endearing about that, which made it worse.
There was only one explanation he could think of, the evening had to be a dream that he would wake up from at any moment. She was Commander Shepard and she was flirting with him. It had been fairly obvious from the hair and makeup that she was trying to fly under the radar but, that voice, he would know her voice anywhere.
As soon as she had sat down and ordered her drink he had known it was her. He had seen every interview, every scrap of footage and heard everyone of her non-classified reports. Ever since he had first seen her on the extranet he had been intrigued by the infamous Commander. He had even wondered more than once if perhaps he had a little crush on her, especially when he would turn up the volume any time she made an appearance.
As soon as he heard she was to be the xo for the Normandy's shakedown cruise, he had been even more excited about the assignment. Finally he would get to work with her, to see her in action, even if it was only for a short easy mission.
Kaidan had never expected to find himself sitting side by side with her at a bar counter, ordering the exact same wine. The moment he looked into her deep blue eyes for the first time, in person, he was lost in them and her. They had a depth that went beyond what was on the surface, her eyes held a mystery that he wanted to unravel.
"So you don't mind dancing, you like quiet conversations and you have exceptional taste in wine, what else are you hiding in there Kaidan?" she asked in a low tone.
Kaidan chuckled. "I think you may have already discovered my best qualities."
"I find that difficult to believe," she responded. "Although if you tell me you also enjoy cooking I may just have to marry you."
The smile she flashed him was so incredibly sexy that he had to swallow before he could speak. "Well actually.." he started as a low moan escaped her. He could see her eyes drop to his lips, that wasn't his imagination. He was in a whole world of trouble. It was too late now to tell her that he knew who she was, it was too late to inform her that in a couple of days they would be working together. All he could do was tread very carefully and make sure the night didn't go beyond harmless flirting.
"You cook as well?" she asked with genuine surprise.
"I have been known to, although it doesn't happen as often as I would like," he admitted.
Kimberly waved over one of the assistants and asked for a refill as both of their glasses were empty. After which she turned back to him. "I am fairly certain I could burn water given the opportunity. I am generally known as the worst cook ever."
"Maybe you just haven't had the right teacher," he added with a low tone.
"I did grow up on starships so the opportunity didn't present itself often. My parents were always busy working and I spent a lot of time exploring all of the areas in the ships I was supposed to be forbidden to go," she said with a grin.
Kaidan raised his eyebrows and found his grin matching hers. As the assistant returned with their drinks he took the glass gratefully and had a long sip. He was glad for the momentary distraction. "I can just picture little rebel Kim sneaking around starships," he replied.
"You have no idea," she taunted. "All those stories about kids who grow up in space are true and that's all I am going to say about it, before you decide to go running a mile in the other direction."
Kaidan laughed before raising his glass to his lips. He took a long sip of the red wine and then placed it back down on to the table's surface. Sometimes he almost wished biotics could feel the effects of the alcohol better than they could, it would take more than one or two drinks to even feel a slight buzz.
"With everything you have already told me about yourself, there isn't a chance in hell you could possibly be single unless, you have some deep dark secret that you are hiding," she said before raising her own glass to her lips.
"I guess I just haven't found the right woman yet," he responded quietly. It wasn't like he was really looking for one either. He always figured if it was going to happen it would and if not there was more than enough to keep him occupied in the alliance. At least that was, until he met her. As his eyes wandered over her face he found himself entertaining the idea of something more, thoughts he quickly pushed from his mind again. "How about you?"
Kimberly chuckled as she looked down at her glass, the action breaking their eye contact. "Realistically? It's not likely to ever happen. Long distance is virtually impossible for anyone to maintain and even if they do it is hard on those involved, too hard most of the time. I spend so much time moving from one place to the next it hardly even seems fair to consider putting someone through that."
"That sounds like you have at least considered it," he responded.
"Only for long enough to realise it's not a place I want to go. I mean let's face it," she raised her eyes to meet his. "When your a ground pounder you put yourself in danger constantly. Fire fights, explosions, falling buildings, rough terrain, it's all there every time I step foot groundside. Just traveling on an alliance starship is dangerous enough. Who would want to put someone through that constant fear and concern, only for the inevitable to most likely happen in due time?"
"If you asked all of the mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and spouses out there if they would do it all over again. I am willing to bet that their answer would always be the same. Yes, because it is worth the risk even knowing the outcome. They wouldn't trade that time that they had with those they loved for anything in the galaxy," he answered seriously. To not even be willing to try, seemed like a very lonely existence to him and one no one should have to live forever. "Unless you intend to lock yourself away in a room for eternity, I don't think you could stop people from caring."
"I've looked into the faces of those people. I've seen their pain when they are informed of their loss. I've even seen good officers crack and break. It doesn't seem fair to ever put someone through that," she replied sincerely as she swallowed down a lump in her throat. "It also looks as if we may have broken our no work talk rule," although she smiled with her last comment, it didn't reach up to her eyes.
Kaidan had to fight the sudden urge to reach over and tuck a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ears. "I guess it does at that," he responded, followed by a soft chuckle. The tone at the table had certainly traveled in a direction he hadn't expected, or intended.
"Dance with me?" she asked abruptly. He could see that look in her eyes again, the one that he had yet to discover the meaning behind. This time it was a little closer to the surface, less hidden than it had been the first time their eyes locked.
He reached over and closed his fingers around her hand as he stood up from his chair. As their fingers connected, he could feel the soft hum of her biotics resonating across the skin of his arm. There was no sudden shock like the first time, this time it felt different, soothing and even seductive. "It would be my pleasure," he responded as he coaxed her to follow him towards the dance floor.