It's A Miracle!
"Jame-Harry! I made it back at last!" barked a filthy Sirius Black, looking delighted to find his godson walking along the road outside Hogsmeade.
"SIRIUS! I thought… Lupin said… I thought you were dead!" stammered Harry, offering his hand to the older wizard.
"Harry, give me a hug," exclaimed Sirius. "I'm your godfather, practically your dad. How long has it been? It was terrible crawling out of that magical kennel that Veil thing covers. They were like the sewers way under King's Cross Station. Thank Merlin for rats or I'd have starved."
Harry gulped, having noticed that his beloved godfather's breath was amazingly foul. He didn't want to offend him, however.
"Well, it's been five years since Voldemort's been gone," he said.
"No, really?" asked Sirius. "Am I still wanted for murder?"
"Uh-uh. The Ministry knows about Wormtail and, I guess you don't know Wormtail's dead. Um, Remus too, and Tonks."
"Don't worry, be happy, Harry! Let your old godfather buy you a drink at the Three Broomsticks. Hey, why is your hair so long?"
They turned and walked along the shady road, heading for Hogsmeade. Harry was dazed, amazed at his incredible good fortune. Sirius, his beloved godfather, was returned as if from the dead.
"Ah, it's a good old life, isn't it, Harry?" asked Sirius expansively. "You, me, no Voldemort. We'll have a great time. Hey d' you still have the Marauders Map? We can have some laughs with that."
He ushered Harry into the Three Broomsticks with a flourish, waving to Madam Rosmerta.
"What'll you have, Harry?"
"Butterbeer," replied his confused godson.
"Oh, c'mon, have a firewhiskey," said the giddy Animagus, as he pinched Madam Rosmerta's bum.
Harry cringed slightly at the sight of the witch's frown.
"What's wrong, Rozzie? Aren't I your favorite any more?" smirked Sirius.
"You smell like you rolled in dog doo," she sniffed. "Those drinks'll be right up."
She hustled away and when she returned, Sirius turned to Harry with a winning smile.
"Can you lend me a few Galleons? I didn't have time to get to Gringotts before I came looking for you."
Harry sighed and paid the sour looking Rosmerta. Suddenly Sirius wasn't as much fun as he'd been before the Ministry episode. He took a stiff pull on his drink.
"Um, we thought you were dead. I inherited everything you left behind," he said, feeling guilty. "You don't actually own anything any more. Are you really alive?"
"Of course I am!" Sirius replied indignantly. "Are you going to give it all back?"
"Sure." Harry shrugged, but suddenly brightened. "You can have your house back. I hate the place."
"Me too." Sirius brightened too. "Hey! Has Kreacher died?"
"NO!" exclaimed Harry. "You can't have him back. I love the little guy. You were a jerk to him."
Sirius's bloodshot gray eyes bulged. "Is it April Fools Day? You're taking the mickey, aren't you?"
Harry sneered slightly and said, "You were a right git to be so vicious to him. He'll want to stay with me."
"Consider him ten years worth of birthday presents, then," said Sirius cheerfully. "Getting rid of him is a treat for me."
Harry stared in amazement, wondering if he could be dreaming. After so many years, to have his beloved godfather return, he felt he must be the luckiest bloke alive.
"I can't wait to tell Ron and Hermione about you," said Harry.
"Great! Now that I'm back, we can play pranks on bloody Snivellus for fun. We have the Map, it'll be great!" exclaimed the ragged Animagus.
"Erm… Professor Snape was killed," said Harry, a shadow appearing in his green eyes. "He was amazing, you know. I wish I'd known before…"
Sirius stared in horror, not able to believe what he was hearing.
"SNIVELLUS? ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME GREASY LOSER?"
"Don't speak of him that way," said Harry softly. "He loved my mum and they were best friends when they were kids. He's the bravest man I've ever known."
The young man watched his ragged godfather try to grasp that most remarkable statement, pausing to scratch behind one ear rather frantically.
"Gah! Bloody fleas!" he rasped. "Harry, your dad would puke if he heard you say that. You can't believe that rubbish!"
Anger flared suddenly in Harry and he snapped, "Shut it, Sirius. There's a lot you don't know."
Sirius tossed back the rest of his drink, suddenly chewed fiercely on his left shoulder and then said, "Let's go home, Harry. I think I need a bath."
Harry sighed, wondering how this was going to work out.
"Ginny, I'm home and I have an amazing surprise," called Harry weakly. "It's Sirius! He's alive!
He'd been a bit more enthusiastic before Sirius had paused to urinate on the big tree outside number Twelve Grimmauld Place. But the house was actually his, and Ginny would be very pleased to find someplace less creepy to live.
"Master is home!" exclaimed Kreacher, bounding into the hallway with a beaming smile on his wrinkled face.
"Merlin's crumpled bollocks, I can't believe the beast is still alive!" exclaimed Sirius, his mouth taking on a definite pout. "Oi, Kreacher, run Master a bath and have a rare steak ready when I'm finished cleaning myself up."
"You is not Kreacher's Master! Kreacher is belonging to Master Harry," said the horrified elf. "Master Harry, please let Kreacher serve you and Mrs. Harry."
"Mrs. Harry?" asked Sirius, easily distracted. "Good Lord, boy, did you actually commit matrimony while I was away? Women take all the fun out of things. Who managed to get her hooks into my godson?"
"That would be me," Ginny Weasley-Potter said icily, having arrived in time to hear his last words.
"LILY, YOU'RE ALIVE!" shouted Sirius, his face transformed with hope. "DID JAMES MAKE IT TOO, SOMEHOW?"
"Erm, Sirius, you remember Ginny Weasley, don't you?" asked Harry, feeling very awkward.
Reality finally penetrated the brain of the Animagus and his face took on its normal, slightly sullen expression.
"Sorry, I should have known. You have a bit of an Oedipal thing going, don't you, young Harry? You two are the spitting image of… Well, never mind," he finished hastily.
Harry was watching Kreacher cringe into the corner and compassion filled his heart for the loyal elf.
"Kreacher, will you please run a bath for Sirius?" he asked. "Since he's really alive, he can have the house back, but I want you to stay with Ginny and me, wherever we go. I don't believe we can manage without you."
Kreacher bowed, his face glowing with joy. "Kreacher is happy to do as Master asks, even to run a bath for the dog-man."
"Why you…" snarled Sirius, taking a swing at the elf and missing, instead falling over the troll leg umbrella stand and sprawling on the ancient carpet.
Harry and Ginny looked into each other's eyes, dismay growing by the minute. What should have been the happiest of occasions was beginning to seem rather uncomfortable.
"This place has changed, Harry. The rug doesn't smell like dirt and unwashed feet any more."
"Well, we've cleaned things up, haven't we?" said Ginny irritably. "You've been gone for years, Sirius, and when we got married two years ago, we didn't want to live in a sty. It's still rather creepy and ghastly, you're welcome to take it back, but we tried to make it livable. Mum helped."
Sirius shook his head as if trying to remember some trivial detail. "Ah, yes, dear Molly, thoughtful of her. Does she visit you much here?"
"She comes more often now that I'm expecting," said Ginny, a slight waspish note becoming audible in her voice.
"EXPECTING? MERLIN'S REEKING TOENAILS, YOU'RE EXACTLY LIKE THAT OTHER ONE," howled Sirius.
"Master, the dog-man's bath is run. Must Kreacher scrub him?" asked Kreacher humbly.
"No! He can scrub himself," said Harry, looking sternly at Sirius. "Go take your bath Sirius and we'll have supper after that. Then we'll discuss what will happen next."
"Which bathroom, you disloyal rodent?" asked Sirius.
"Old Mistress's bath, where you always wallowed before," said Kreacher, his eyes bulging with fervent spite.
"Kreacher, come to the kitchen with me," said Ginny gently. Master Harry must be hungry, so we'll find something good for him to eat."
The house elf smiled at her trustingly, years of kindness having mellowed him.
"Harry, supper will be in an hour. Perhaps you'd like a shower?" she asked.
"Good idea," he replied. Sirius, we'll meet for supper in an hour. Come to the kitchen."
Harry fled to the suite he and Ginny had called their own since they got married. He needed this time to collect his wits and figure out what to do with his resurrected godfather. Wait, he thought. Ron and Hermione could help. With Hermione's powerful brain, she could easily sort out the whole thing, and perhaps tell him why the return of Sirius was filling him with such turmoil.
"SIRIUS!" cried Hermione, tears of joy filling her eyes as she flung herself into the wizard's arms. "I can't believe you're alive. This is just wonderful!"
Sirius patted her back gingerly and turned to greet Ron.
"All grown up, mate?" he asked the red-haired young man. "What are you up to, Ron?"
"I'm an Auror," said Ron proudly. "It's a good thing we all know you're innocent, or I'd be taking you in to the Ministry right now."
He grinned cheerfully, failing to notice the slight snarl on Sirius's face.
"Supper's ready," called Ginny, a slightly anxious note in her voice.
They all trooped into the clean, cheerful old kitchen, where Sirius seated himself at the head of the table and sat back, beaming at them all.
"Sit down, everyone!" he exclaimed. "It's good to be back in the old Pit of Despair, if I do say so. What's for supper, Ginny?"
"We're having vegetarian lasagna, with garlic bread and a spinach salad," she said. "Harry, will you pass around the pumpkin juice?"
"Pumpkin juice? For the love of Merlin, don't you at least have elf made wine?" asked Sirius, looking horrified.
"Well, Ginny's pregnant and can't drink, so we usually keep her company with pumpkin juice," explained Harry. "But if you'd like, I think all that old wine is still down in the cellars. We're not really big drinkers, Sirius."
"I'll be right back," Sirius announced, shoving his chair back so hard it thunked on the floor behind him as he stalked toward the cellar door.
"Wow, Harry, I can't believe it. It's a miracle that he made it back," said Ron.
"Yeah, it 's amazing, isn't it?" replied Harry, carefully not looking toward his wife. "But I dunno, Ron… I noticed he's really mean to poor Kreacher. I told Sirius I'm giving him back the house. I have enough money to get us a place of our own, But I'm taking Kreacher along, because he hates Sirius and he likes Gin and me."
"Good news, kiddos," caroled Sirius, reappearing." There's still a cellar full of Chateau Beauxbaton Cabernet down there. The dear old stuff packs quite a punch and should even go well with bloody vegetables. Can't you do meat, Ginny?"
Her narrowed eyes would have stopped Harry dead in his tracks, but she managed to control herself and said, "Humans eat too much protein and it's killing the planet. We do meat three or four days a week. Tomorrow we're doing a delicious legume stew and Friday we'll have chicken."
Hermione had been watching them like a spectator at a Muggle tennis match, and the look of utter revulsion on Sirius's face at the mere mention of legumes brought an ironic smile to her face.
"So, Sirius, we haven't seen you since you fell through the Veil in the Ministry. Aren't you curious about what's been happening all this time?" she asked.
"I think I've got the picture," he replied. "Voldy's dead and Harry's a hero, just like his godfather, of course. You've all gotten depressingly staid looking. Are you a librarian now, Hermione?"
"I work at the Ministry," she told him. "Did Harry tell you about Remus and Tonks?"
"They didn't make it," he said, a slight frown wrinkling his forehead.
"But didn't he tell you about Teddy?" she asked. "They got married! They had a baby before that last battle. Harry's a godfather!"
"Married?" asked Sirius, a look of shock in his eyes. "Merlin's flatulence! It's like a bloody viral infection going through you all. You aren't married, are you?"
"Ron and I got married last year," said Hermione, flashing her wedding ring in his direction.
Sirius offered a compassionate glance at Ron, popped the cork out of his wine bottle and waved it in the air.
"Anyone?" he asked, before he Summoned a glass and filled it.
Ginny and Harry put the food on the table and began passing it around.
"It smells heavenly, Ginny," said Hermione. "I'd love the recipe."
Ginny flashed her a grateful smile and they all fell to eating.
"We need to tell everyone that Sirius is back and have a huge party," said Ron enthusiastically. "It'll be great, like an Order of the Phoenix reunion!"
"We can have it here!" said Sirius, tossing back his wine and laughing loudly.
"Great," Harry said dully. "But seriously, Sirius, what do you plan to do now that you're back? You have the rest of your life ahead of you now."