I do not own Inuyasha or the characters contained therein, I also do not own the song used for this story. It is Never Let Go by Josh Groban. This disclaimer is for all the following chapters of this story and all the following lyrics. Thank you for reading. Review, Thank you Umbra Intuneric
Never Let Go
Prologue
"I can't understand it, the search for an answer is met with a darker day, and we have been handed these moments flower, but I am reassured there is another way." From Never Let Go By Josh Groben.
Five years ago, damn time flies she thought as she climbed out the well again. The well that was dying more and more each time she used it. She knew that this was more than likely her last time here in the past. She didn't think that she could leave them. One of them would be much more painful than the others. A lot of traveling back and forth through the well, between the past and present, people didn't know who she was at home anymore, she was strong and confident. Her power which had to be hidden at times was allowed to ease out of the walls she put around it. Her mother acted like she was all right with all of the changes that had happened to her, but her mother wasn't. no one was really comfortable around her now that she had grown up. She didn't let it affect her though anymore she felt alone other than when she leapt through the magical portal. That allowed her to be herself wile she was there. Her life would never be the same. She was in college studying for her doctorate in religions and mythology and her masters in history. She didn't want to loose them if she went back through the well and could never return to them, meaning her two brothers, her two sisters, and her son, not to mention the real reason that she returned to this time.
He knew that he was the reason she always returned, and she was the reason that he had stayed so close to the others for so long. Her didn't mind them so much now but still the did bother him a little. She knew that if the well stopped working on her side that her heart would break to pieces. She knew that she loved him, he felt for her deeply but she wasn't sure what it was that he felt for her. They were trying to find a way to keep the well open so that she could keep coming back to see him everything they had come up with to this point had failed. She knew that their time together was drawing to a close. She didn't want to loose him and the future they could have together but she was sure that he wouldn't allow her to stay here with him.
She sat down on the worn ancient wood of the well. She wanted to remember her time here. Granted in the grand scheme of history her ten years here didn't change anything but for her it had changed her whole life. Falling into the well at the age of sixteen had changed everything about her. She had met Inuyasha first then his brother,, then there was her son, her brother Miroku and her sister Sango. They had their fights and bad times but they had good ones too. She smiled as she remembered nights filled with laughter around a campfire. Five years in to her journey here. Inuyasha's brother, Sesshoumaru joined them so that they could get rid of Naraku. It had been after the incident with So'unga where the brothers learned the true power of the fangs their father had given them.
The night that he appeared quite literally out of the sky in front of her and said that he wanted to talk to her had taken her by surprise and robbed her of the ability to both breathe and speak. She simply stared at him for a few minutes taking in the ethereal sight in front of her. He simply watched her in silence, once regained her ability to speak they talked long into the night. He followed her back to the others but didn't speak to them for days. He stayed at a slight distance from them but they as in he and she continued to talk to each other at night teaching each other. He taught her how to battle while she taught him about the future. She learned about him and he about her. Their strange friendship caused friction in the group but they came to understand what was going on between them. They told her as long as she was happy that they would deal with it for her. It didn't take Naraku long to start attacking them all the time. It was during one of those battles that she begun to rethink her feelings for him, she watched him take a tentacle in his shoulder for her son. She moved like lightning to his side shielding him from the attacks that never seemed to stop once he regained his focus they moved and attacked together with Inuyasha at their side and finally defeated the hanyou that had taken so much from so many in the time that he had been around. After the battle she moved to him and asked to be allowed to heal him, he refused her. She had known that he would but had hoped that this one time his pride would lose to the fact that he was poisoned. She hid her pain and moved to the others to heal them. It was then that she noticed that Inuyasha and Sango were caring for each other. Miroku was being treated by Kagura, strange but as long as they were happy that was all that mattered to her. She left the area with the full jewel knowing that she might have to fight again tonight but right then she had only wanted to be alone.
He came to her then alone and bleeding still. He sat beside her as he had done many times before. She turned and placed her hand on his shoulder healing him completely that night. He didn't say a word to her when she left him either she didn't expect him to. Later that night she asked Sango about having Kirara take her to the well so that she could tell her mother that both the jewel and Naraku were finished. Sango was about to tell her one way or the other when a long strong but delicate looking hand on her shoulder turned her attention elsewhere. He took her home, to the well, that night he told her then that he still wanted to be around her.
They had continued to see each other every night that she returned to the past. As more time passed he allowed her to fight with him to protect his lands. He watched over her at night and held her when she had nightmares, comforting her. They never really talked about the future until about two years ago when they both noticed the change in the well. They talked about how to fix it but even now two years later the magic was almost gone, she was sure that she would get home but was certain that once she did she wouldn't be able to return. She didn't want to lose this place and the people that she loved here but was sure that she would when she went to her time once again. She didn't want to think about loosing them to the tides of time she had known it would happen sooner or later but they were so much a part of her now that to think of them lost from her life hurt like hell. She didn't know anything that would stop the changes that were about to occur.
She had kept journals of her time here from the beginning but she knew that even reading them and looking at the pictures of them would bring them to her again once this trip was over. She would never be able to hold her son again, laugh at Inuyasha and Sango who were both hanyou now as they chased their kids. She wouldn't get to watch Kagura and Miroku as they also hanyou children learned to fly. She wouldn't get to see her son grow up into an adult youkai, or watch Rin as she lived as a youkai with Sesshoumaru. She was going to loose all of them. Five hundred years was a long time for things like her to be remembered. No matter how much they had been through that was just too long to expect them to remember her. She would always remember them and all of the times that they had shared; life was too short for her, she had to remember. They had taught her about life, they had allowed her to grow in front of them into the woman that she was now.
They had shown her how to be free of the things that others in her time couldn't live without. They had shown her that there was so much living to do in the small amount of time that they had been given. They had taught her that the loss of someone wasn't something to mourn over for years rather a reason to live even more. They had opened her innocent and naïve eyes to evil and taught her that evil though a necessary part of life wasn't something that should be allowed to flourish for long. Lessons that she had learned here were so much more than she could ever learn in her own time. On this, what she was certain to be her last, visit here she wanted them to know what they had done for her all that they had taught her. She had to make sure that they know that their time together meant so much to her and that no matter where her life in the modern era took her that she would always remember them and the time that she had spent here.
A smile found her face as she felt her son and Sesshoumaru coming toward her. No matter how things were they could always make her smile. She stood up and moved toward them, she needed to reassure herself that they were still here and that they cared about her. She began to run to them, feeling their auras grow stronger, she fought back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. She wouldn't see them again if she went through the well, she would loose them. Her heart ached with the pain of that thought. Her tears started to fall, her steps moments ago sure and steady now staggered and blind. She stumbled as the things that she would miss flooded her minds eye.
Shippou's laughter and jokes, Sesshoumaru's gentle touch and warm deep sensual voice, Miroku and his wisdom, Sango and her complete acceptance of her, Inuyasha and his brash attitude, Kagura and Kirara and their silent strength, Rin and her always sunny out look; all of it would be taken from her the next time she fell into the well. Ten lousy years wasn't long enough, the memories would be enough to warm her. The pictures wouldn't bring her the laughter or the music of their voices. No one would be enough to fill the long silver hair, inferno golden eyes that were warm at times, gentle strong hands that were graced with lethal poisonous claws, long lean legs that walked silently through the treacherous terrain, a low voice that called to her, the passion that raged in her at the simplest touch from him would never be sated, the love that burned in her heart for him would never be told. To be so robbed of all that she wanted, no needed, was wrong. What had she done so wrong that the Kami would punish her like this? She didn't want to live as an empty shell. Every emotion that she knew was tied to someone here in the past, no this couldn't be the way that things were supposed to be! There had to be a way for her to keep coming here, she couldn't live without seeing him again.
Her nails clawed her hands as she tried so hard to contain the deep heart ripping sobs the pain of loosing them tearing her apart from the inside. This was so wrong! She felt his power caress her as he neared her, he knew that she was in pain, she clung to the feeling that his touched caused in her. She felt whole and complete, to think that this feeling would soon be yanked from her, the tears flowed more the closer that he got to her. His presence and soon his scent, this was too much for her to take she needed him with every fiber of her being she needed him.