Ze Newlyweds Game
Hi, this is mine and my best friend, Midori's fic! Basically, we're gonna' be pairing up WR characters (HigeBlue ChezaKiba TsumeToboe and CherHubb ....)
((During the making of this fic, we don't intend to offend any real people that are queer out there. We use the word "gay" a couple of times but not for any offensive reasons. Sorry, we really don't mean to offend anyone!!))
Disclaimer: We don't own Wolf's Rain.... nope... it's true... none a' the characters are our own material... ;.;-well sept for the creepish ways we make them act...- but we DO own Sakura and Midori... coz' those are kinda'... us. Yar.
Sakura: Yo, yo, yo mah homedawgs!
Midori: Loser.
Sakura: Shut the fuh up, man.
Midori: You're such a dork.
Sakura:
Midori: KIM POSSIBLE BOOBIES!!!
Sakura: That was frickn' gay.
Midori: No you're gay!
Sakura: No you're gay!
Midori: No you're gay!
Sakura: No you're gay!
Midori: No, I'm gay!
Sakura: I KNOW YOU'RE GAY!!!!
Midori: Okay, we're getting way too off topic. Okay, yo. Welcome to... THE NEWLYWEDS GAME!!!!!
Toboe: But there's not newlyweds here, silly!!!!! o
Sakura:.................. -coughflippyhaircough-... -coughcoughcoughcough- Excuse me. Now there are!!!
Sakura: NOW LET'S INTRODUCE OUR NEW NEWLYWEDS!!!!
Midori: -pauses in humming- New newlyweds?
Sakura: Shut yer piehole.
Midori: -shrug-
Cheza: This one is confused.
Sakura: No this one is an ass.
Cheza: This one is an ass?
Sakura: EXACTLY!
Midori: That's what I'm talkin' bout!!!!
Kiba: CHEZA!!! -suddenly runs onto the stage all action-packed like- NEVER. INSULT. CHEZA!!!!!
Sakura: Screw you, Kiba.
Midori: NO!!!!!! -runs up to Kiba and jumps on his shoulders- GIMME' A PIGGY-BACK RIDE!!!
Kiba:....wtf......
Midori: I love you, Kiba.... -pulls his hair-.....
Cheza: This one is an ass!
Sakura: VERY GOOD!!!! -claps hands- OMG WTF EVERYONE QUIT IT WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME HERE!!!! I APPLIED FOR A 30 MINUTE SPOT AND WE'VE ALREADY WASTED 15!!!
Midori: -notices Hubb and Cher lurking in a dark corner- AW C'MON GUYS, JOIN THE GAME!!!!
Hubb:...
Cher:....
Sakura: Side characters are bland.
Cheza: This one is an ass.
Midori: Okay. You really gotta' stop that. We know you're ass, you don't really have to repeat it.
Kiba: -throws Midori off his back angrily- CHEZA!!!!!
Midori: -sob-
Sakura: Would you quit that, that's frickin' annoying!!! I mean, at least ONCE in EVERY episode you gotta' shout, "CHEZA!!!!!" I mean seriously man.... it's getting old.
Kiba:........ I love Cheza!
Sakura:..... screw you. OKAY, LET'S INTRODUCE OUR NEXT CONTESTANTS.... Hige and Blue.
Hige: -walks out on the stage all gangsta-like- YO! -comes out eating from a box of Soft Baked Cookie and gets rabidly attacked by Midori- ARRHGFIDSGKDGJKDF!!!!
Midori: MY COOOOOKIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -steals box of cookies and shoves them in her mouth-
Hige: -stares at her blankly-
Midori: -smiles with a mouth-full of cookies-
Hige: WHY YOU-YOU... SOFT BAKED COOKIE STEALER!!!! -chases Midori around the stage-
Midori: -hugs box of cookies while running around screaming- BANANAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sakura: o.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Um..... -cough cough- Greaaaaat.... okay where the fudge is Blue?!!?!?!?!?
Blue: -walks onto the stage acting all model-like, posing for the camera- I'm far too sophisticated for these childish gameshow fanfictions!
Midori: TRY A BANANA BLUE!!! -shoves a banana in Blue's mouth-....in low voice BANANAS ARE GOOOOOD.
Hige: -dives on top of Midori viciously, stealing back his cookies-
Midori: slides hands down her face saddly MY COOKIEIEIESSISS!!!! -chokes on her own spit-
Blue: -while eating the banana- MMM MMM GOOD!
Sakura: SHUT UP BLUE, WE AREN'T ALLOWED TO USE FORGED MATERIAL ON THIS SHOW!!!! THEY'LL CANCEL US!!!!
Blue: Whatever.... -sulks-
Sakura: Fuh in a bucket. We're running out of time here, okay all of our "newly weds" line up next to each other.
Midori: -jumps over next to Kiba happily-
Kiba: Uhhh. Security!
Big Bulky Security Man Bob: -runs onto stage, next to Midori crossing his arms and grunts-
Midori: -opens box of cookies- ...wanna' cookie? -;;;;
BBSMB(Big Bulky Security Man Bob): -taps foot and then drags her off the stage-
Midori: NOOO!!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEE!!!!! I'M THE HOST!!!!!!!
Sakura: I can host the show without you! It's okay really, you don't gotta' feel guilty! .
Midori: -sobs- I'M YOU'RE BEST FRRRIIIIEEEEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sakura: ...take her away BBSMB.
BBSMB: -swings her over his back and continues off the stage-
Midori: -pounds on his back- LET! ME! GO!!!!!!!!! ....I feel so unloooooved!!!!!!
-BBSMB and Midori dissapear off the stage-
Sakura: OKAY! Maybe without Midori we can get s'more crappledoodle done! -
Tsume: -suddenly appears out of nowhere- Uhhh... crappledoodle?
Sakura: SHUT UP! NOW EVERYONE LINE UP TO YOUR FRICKIN' MATE OR... LOVER... OR WHATEVER!
-everyone lines up in an orderly fashion-
Sakura: THANK YOU. Now, here's our first couple! -gestures to Cheza and Kiba- They enjoy long walks on the beach and moonlight strolls! Not to mention braiding eachother's hair late into the afternoon!
Cheza: This one is an ass. This one loves Kiba's ass.
Sakura: Okay, who taught her that?!?!!?
Everyone: You.
Sakura: ... shut up. Next couple is Blue and Hige!!! They make such a cute lil couple!!! o
Blue: Tsh.
Hige: :D
Sakura: This lovely couple fancies candlelit dinners, rumaging through trashcans, and last but not least, Red Fusion!
Hige: Fusiony!!!!
Blue: Tsh.
Hige: Oh c'mon honey, lighten up! -puts arm around her-
Blue: -HIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS- Don't call me honey! And don't touch me!
Hige: o.o;;;;;;;;
Midori: -suddenly jumps onto stage pointing accusingly at Hige- FUSIONY!!!! THAT'S MY QUOTE!!!!! COPYRIGHT INFRAGMENT!!!!
BBSMB: GET BACK HERE!!!!! -runs onto stage after Midori-
Midori: RUN AWAAAAAAY!!! -gets chased off the stage-
Sakura: Now our THIRD couple.... Tsume and Toboe!!!
Tsume: -grunts- WHY WAS I PAIRED UP WITH HIM!?!?!? THAT IS SICK AND WRONG!!! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL SUE!!!!!!!!!!
Midori: -screams from behind the curtain- CRIPES, YOU WEAR LEATHER FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO THINK!???!?
Sakura: Live with it, we had no females left for you guys. And Leara refused to appear on the show with Toboe ever since that little bird incedent... :/ You were her stand-in! :D
Toboe: ;.;
Tsume: -GROWL-
Toboe: Oh come on Tsume!!! It'll be so much fun!!!
Tsume: .........oh great.
Sakura: -cough cough- WE'RE ON A SCHEDULE HERE!!!!! And we're 10 minutes behind!!
Tsume: Grrr.....
Toboe: C'MON TSUME! TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN!!!
Tsume: o.o Uhhh...
Sakura: Gah... ANYWAYS. -reads off her notecards- This happy couple especially enjoys relaxing dips in the hotsprings, nurturing eachother's wounds, and both share a unique "feminine" sense of style.
Tsume: -spazzes out- THAT ISN'T TRUE, NONE OF IT!!!! WTF IS YOU'RE PROBLEM?!?!?!
Toboe: -sobbing- TSUME DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!!!!! T.T
Tsume: ANYMORE? Who said I ever loved you to begin with?!
Toboe: T.T MY WHOLE LIFE!!! A LIE!!!!!!
Sakura: And last bu-
Midori: -from background- HEEEELP MEEEEE!!!!!
Sakura: -continues appearing to have heard nothing- but not... okay, yeah, last and least are Hubb and Cher!
Hubb:....
Cher:....
Sakura: They're so dull. This couple went through some hard times after their divorce... and now they're back together! Coz' the authornesses say so! And we really needed another couple.... :/ But these two dull and bland side characters love to study ancient myths together, search for Cheza, and salsa dance.... how... sweet? They're boring.
Cheza: This one is still an ass?
Sakura:....-- Yes.
Hige: -looks down at the ground, in shock- MY COOKIES!!!! THEY'RE GONE!!!
Everyone: O.O
Hige: MIDORIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Midori: -runs across stage, shoving a cookie in her mouth- I gave him a cookie! Uh oh, Hige looks angry. Oh poor Hige, I only wanted to free myself.
Hige: Where is the box?!?!?!?!?
Midori: Yah... about the box. You know, he wouldn't let me free for just one, now would he.
Hige: YOU GAVE HIM ALL OF THEM!!!!??????
Midori: There was only five in there...
Hige: NO!!! The last I saw there were like twenty!
Midori: Yah well what is a girl to do when being chased by a big buff security man!!!?? I mean its like a RULE to eat things when they are right infront of you!!!
Hige: -glares at Midori-
Midori: -licks her fingers- Mmmm the chocolatey taste of soft baked cookies!!!
Sakura: Uh oh Spagettios!!!!! HIGE'S MAAAAAAAD!!!!! Poor baby!
Hige: -looks all evil and chases Midori around the stage again-
Midori: AHHHHHHHH!!! -pauses for the camera- HERE WE GO AGAIN! o
Sakura: Looks like we're done for today... o.o;;;;;; Well..... join us again for next episode! We're all out time and I gotta' go to the bathroom..... BYE!!!! -runs off stage-
Midori: -jumps in front of the camera and does a little jig- I'M COOL! YOU'RE NOT! OH YEAH! ISH MAH BIRTDAY!!!-okay I'm done.
Hige: -strangles her in a head lock- NEVER STEAL MY COOKIES!!!!!
Midori: Then bring enough treats for everyone next time!!!!!!!!
Blue: She's got a point there, ya know.
Toboe: -from background- BYE BYE--
-Hige and Midori ram into the camera in their brawl-
-CRASH BOOM BREAK-
--
Cheza: thenewlywedsgameisnottherightfulownersofentenmann'ssoftbakedcookies,campbellssoup(mmmmgood),spagettios,kimpossible,oranycopyrightedmaterialwemayhaveusedinthisfic-andremember-thisoneisanass.
--
Sakura: YAY! First chappie done! Next chapter is QUESTIONS!!! And we explain how the game works if you have no idea how it works.... oo;;;; But if you DO know how the game is, feel free to send in your own questions and we might just put em on there!!!
Midori: Heheh..heh. BANANA!!!! HOOWA!!!
Sakura: BANANA! BANANA! BANANA! HOOWA!!!!! ...BANANAAAA....