In Winchester, England, there was an orphanage. It was no ordinary orphanage; not in the least. Genius's and prodigies were brought up there, encouraged to be the best they could be. It was a cheerful place and all the orphans inside could be seen smiling and laughing with one another. Though there were the occasional spats and rivalries, it was a peaceful place. It was the place Vanessa Ververs desperately wanted to be. Alas, she was not.
Vanessa Ververs was a desolate child. She was thin, dirty, and unkempt. To the casual passerby, she was an ugly child of the streets, amounting to nothing and ultimately living only to die. But, if you looked past the layers of dirt, past the bones that jutted out, sometimes at odd angles, and past the ragged brown dress she wore, you would see a child of beauty. Unfortunately for Vanessa, no one stopped to acknowledge her as she begged on the streets of Winchester. They held up their noses and walked swiftly past, pretending not to see her to clear their guilty consciences. Everyday, Vanessa begged, and everyday, she was ignored.
When evening came for Vanessa, she would leave the street corner she always begged on and head towards her home. At least, what she considered her home. In reality, it was nothing more than a shabby tent, built with sticks and thin blankets. It was built upon a tower of wooden crates, keeping her safely off the street and away from the rats and mice that lived there. It also let her see inside the building she so often wished to be a part of. Wammy's House, the place for orphaned geniuses.
On that evening, Vanessa sat huddled under a blanket she had found just the other day, staring longingly into the window that was only a few feet below her. She could see the children, all seated around a table with food on their plates, smiling contentedly and chatting among one another, cheerful and happy expressions abounding. She had long ago memorized where each child sat, each particular habit and any other children each child spoke with. However, today there was something different. A new child sat at the table, staring uninterestedly at his food, his knees pulled up to him in a crouch.
Vanessa stared curiously at the new boy. His black hair was messy and there were deep circles under his eyes. He held his fork between his thumb and pointer finger, as though it contained some sort of deadly disease. Though she was no genius herself, Vanessa could tell this boy was more intelligent than his quirks let on. Then, suddenly, the boy looked out the window, directly at her.
Vanessa squeaked, scooting unceremoniously back into her tent. When the tattered cloth fell over her form, she allowed herself to take a deep breath. No one had ever looked out the window before. It had terrified her to think that someone knew of her existence now; knew that she watched the happy children from outside the window. Still, she calmed her breathing and allowed herself a quick peek through the window once more.
The boy had returned to staring at his food and pushing it around his plate. Still, Vanessa didn't allow herself more than a glance for fear of being seen again. Instead, she sat huddled in her new blanket, staring down at the toes that peeked out from under the edge of the blanket. The evenings were getting colder and colder and Vanessa knew she would soon have to go scavenging for more blankets and warmer clothes; stealing from stores if worst came to worst. She hated the idea of stealing, but sometimes, she had little choice in the matter.
The next day, Vanessa awoke to hear happy voices talking and laughing boisterously. She rubbed her eyes groggily and sat up, knowing morning when it came. She decided that she would go scavenging that day; better to search early and get the first pick of warm clothes than wait and have to steal them. So, her mind decided, she unwrapped herself from her blanket and suppressed a bout of shivers from the chilly morning air. Pushing back the cloth that was the entrance to her tent, Vanessa froze.
The boy from the night before was staring at her again. She was pinned in place by his haunting black eyes and piercing stare for only an instant before she yelped and leapt down from her lofty perch. She leapt down the levels of crates that acted as her stairs, hitting the ground running. Vanessa was so spooked, she didn't stop running until she had reached her destination. It clicked her mind that she had reached one of the clothing donation booths and she slowed to a stop.
She waited until there was no one on the street to clamber nimbly into the large opening, pushing up the metal flap as she did. When the flap swung shut behind her, Vanessa settled herself in a cross-legged position. If it was a good day, she would get enough warm clothes to last her through the long winter. If it wasn't a good day... she would have to try again tomorrow.
Vanessa stayed put all day, sometimes slipping in and out of the hand of sleep. At the end of the day, when she could see the darkness outside the booth, she climbed out, dragging her haul behind her. It was a good day for Vanessa and she had plenty of warm clothes to last her the winter. She had only to find a good blanket and she would be set for the rest of the winter. She, however, would save that for another day, as nightfall was growing near and she knew firsthand the dangers of staying in the streets after dark. The long scar on her back was a testimony to that.
It was a good twenty minutes before Vanessa reached her alleyway again; tired from carrying the large pile of clothes in her arms all the way back. Still, one more struggle lay before her before she could rest easy for the night. The monumental task of carrying her haul up to the crate where she stored her things. Before she could begin though, a voice made her freeze.
"Who are you?" Vanessa dropped the pile of clothes in her arms and turned around slowly, wary of who was behind her. Her eyes popped when she was met with the same haunted black eyes of the new boy. They stood in silence for a while, Vanessa scared into silence and unable to move. However, when the boy took a step towards her, she turned and ran into her alleyway, clambering desperately over the crates that were so familiar to her. She didn't stop to see if the boy was following her or not; she just ran until she found her hiding place. One of the crates near the back had a few loose boards. Vanessa easily slipped between the boards and hid in the crate, curled up in a shivering, frightened ball.
She strained her ears for any trace of the boy and was terrified when she heard crates being shifted and moved. He had followed her and now he was looking for her. She knew it was only a matter of time before he found the crate she was hiding in. She could only desperately hope that he gave up his search before then. She plugged her ears and murmured quietly to herself, trying to block out the intense fear that coursed through her body, making her shiver and shake.
After what seemed like an eternity, Vanessa felt a thud resound through the crate she was in. Her terror shot up into absolute horror when she opened her eyes to find the loose boards being pried away. In retaliation, Vanessa let loose a blood curdling scream, alerting anyone in the general vicinity to her terror. Her mouth, however, was quickly covered by a warm hand, smothering her desperate cry. She opened her eyes to find them blurred with tears, her world a mass of melting colors. She blinked and her world came into focus again, warmth slipping down her cheeks. She sobbed, eyes wide with fear as she stared at the boy who was crouched outside her crate with his hand covering her mouth. In the tense silence, she waited for what she thought would be her death. No one had caught her before. Her friends were all caught and she never saw them again. Now she was caught and she was certain she was going to die.
"If I move my hand, do you promise not to scream?" Vanessa was caught off guard with his question, but nodded nonetheless. She was too terrified to speak anyhow. He nodded slightly before slowly removing his hand from her mouth. "Who are you?" Vanessa whimpered and shook her head, scooting farther into the crate only to find her back pressed up against the wall. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks as she stared fearfully at him. She just wanted him to go away.
"Please?" Again, Vanessa was caught off guard. This time, not by the question, but by the pleading sound of his voice. She looked into his haunted black eyes and saw desperation like she saw in those who were just like her. Without a home, without clothes and struggling just to survive the night. His eyes broke her small heart and she felt her fear slowly ebbing away.
"V-vanessa Ververs," she whispered, almost too soft to hear, "My name is Vanessa Ververs." The boy smiled at her, the desperation in his eyes melting into nothing.
"I'm L Lawliet," he replied, holding out a hand, "Nice to meet you." Vanessa stared at his hand for a moment before tentatively placing her hand in his. She returned the pleasantries quietly, eyes glued to the ground before her toes. The pair sat in silence until she could take it no longer.
"Why are you here?" she murmured, lifting her eyes to meet his for only an instant before dropping them back down to her toes. It was silent for a moment and Vanessa could feel foreign and unknown anxiety begin to build up in her.
"I wanted a friend." It was a simple five words, but they shocked Vanessa into locking her eyes with his, disbelief showing plainly in her clear, cerulean eyes. L smiled at her, a small and sheepish smile. Vanessa's tears had stopped flowing, but her face was still warm with their moisture, clinging desperately to her skin before drying into nothing more than tear tracks.
"Haven't you made friends in Wammy's House?" Vanessa asked, her voice lifting to just above a murmur, "The children all look really nice and friendly." L frowned.
"They're boring," he said, "All they ever talk about is how smart they are."
"Why me?" Vanessa dropped her gaze back to her feet, suddenly very shy about asking such a thing.
"Because you have pretty eyes," L muttered, "And because you looked lonely when I saw you yesterday." Vanessa peeked up at L, eyes wide with curiosity and only the tiniest bit of apprehension. She smiled shyly at him, uncurling the slightest bit from her ball.
"Are my eyes really pretty?" she asked, "I've never seen them." L seemed to get a bit of his confidence back because he smiled at her again and nodded. She blushed at the compliment. It was the first she had ever gotten and already, she treasured it.
"Thank you L," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, "I... I think you have funny hair, but it makes you look cute." It was L's turn to blush at her compliment and Vanessa giggled. He looked even cuter when he blushed. He smiled sheepishly but turned owlish eyes on her own.
"You said you've never seen your eyes," he said, "Do you want to see them?" Vanessa nodded. "Then come on. There are a lot of mirrors in Wammy's House." She suddenly froze up, curling tightly into her ball again. L frowned. He had thought he was making good progress with her. He sincerely did want to become her friend, but he didn't want her living on the streets.
"I can't go in there," she murmured, "I'm not smart enough." L sighed, and held out a hand to her. "You don't have to be smart just to go inside," he soothed, "We can leave right after you see your eyes, okay?" Vanessa sent him an unsure glance which he returned with a reassuring smile. While she really didn't want to, she uncurled herself from her ball and took L's hand, allowing herself to be led from her crate. His smile widened and he clasped her hand tightly.
Vanessa was nervous as L led her out of her alleyway and towards the entrance of Wammy's House. She knew that he should have been eating dinner by now; whenever she went home, they were always eating dinner when she got there. She didn't think someone would skip dinner just to talk to her and ask her to be friends. She knew she wasn't worth anything like that.
They entered Wammy's House quietly, Vanessa too nervous to make a sound and L not wanting to upset her anymore than she was. He led her through the halls until he reached his room, which he didn't use that often. He had a mirror on his wall that she could use to see herself with.
"This is my room," L said, pushing open his door, "I don't use it much, but there's a mirror on that wall." He pointed and Vanessa's gaze followed to where he pointed. What she saw shocked her to say the least. Before that, she had no idea what she looked like. She didn't know that she was dangerously skinny. She didn't know that her hair was knotted and dingy. She didn't know that bones stuck out at odd angles sometimes. She didn't know so many things about herself. She just knew what her feet looked like.
She scanned her body for what seemed to be the longest time before she locked eyes with her reflection. She saw that L was right. She did have pretty eyes. But... she thought, looking down at her slightly misshapen and skinny body, having pretty eyes doesn't matter when my body is this... ugly. She frowned at herself before looking in the mirror again, this time at the boy standing behind her.
She knew from experience that he was far from normal. People didn't crouch when they sat on chairs, they didn't skip meals to see homeless girls, and most didn't have huge darks rings around their eyes. Still, to Vanessa, he was perfect. Since she wasn't normal, she thought it was fitting that her first friend wasn't normal. The thought of a friend made her smile.
"L," she said softly, turning around the face him. He looked up at her, his eyes curious.
"Yes?" he asked. She surprised him by throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. He stood shocked for a second, but soon returned the gesture. When he felt his shoulder growing wet, though, he began to get concerned. "Vanessa? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He tried to pull her away to look at her face, but she clung to his neck tightly, refusing to let go.
"Thank you L," she whispered, so softly he almost didn't hear here, "Thank you so much for being my first friend. You have no idea how much it means to me." L smiled, suddenly not so worried about his friend being sad.
"Come on," he whispered, leading her towards his door, "Let's go. I don't want someone to see you in here and take you away, okay?" She nodded and let go of his neck, but kept a firm grip on his waist, her face still buried in his shoulder. They left Wammy's House as silently as they entered, L shutting the entrance doors behind him as quietly as he could. Vanessa wouldn't let go of him when they reached the crates that led up to the tent she called home.
"Do you want to see my room?" she asked after a few minutes of standing silently, lifting her head to look at L, "It's not as... nice as yours, but I like it." L smiled and nodded, gently removing her arms from around his waist. She let go of him with a nod and quickly began scrambling up the boxes, as agile as a monkey. L followed soon after, slightly less certain and definitely less agilely. Vanessa giggled down at him while she watched him struggle up the crates. When he finally reached her, she was giggling uncontrollably.
"You're not a very good climber L," Vanessa said between her giggles, "Don't worry though. I'll teach you how to be a good climber." L smiled at her, glad she was laughing and not crying. When she finally stopped giggling, she stood up and extended a hand to L. He took it and followed her across the relatively large platform that the crates had formed. However, she crossed the entire platform and leapt down to the next level where her tent stood. L was impressed that she kept her tent hidden and out of sight; it was a smart move for a homeless girl.
"This is my house," she said, gesturing to the tent, "It's not much, but it's home to me." She pushed back the thin blanket that acted as a door and folded it over one of the sticks, keeping it out of the way. She flopped down inside, a small smile gracing her features. Opening her arms wide, she gestured to the whole of the small tent.
"My bedroom, kitchen, and verandah all in one," she said, laughing a little, "Sure is a small house huh?" L laughed along with her, though he didn't find it very funny. His first friend was living like this... and he had no idea how long she had lived like that. He felt a little guilty that he had a nice place to stay and a bed, but Vanessa... she only had crates and a thin tent.
"It's a nice place," he said, smiling, "Wish I could live here." Vanessa giggled again and scooted over, making room for him to sit. He nodded and crouched down inside the tent, looking much bigger than he was in the small space. They sat in silence for a moment, just staring at each other before they burst out in laughter again. Both were extremely cramped and Vanessa scooted out. L followed soon after and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a small voice calling his name.
"Looks like they realized I'm not at dinner," he said, somewhat mournfully, "I'll try to sneak out when I can, okay? Don't wait for me if I don't show up before dinner. Bye Vanessa." He gave her a quick hug before jumping down the crates. She watched sadly as he disappeared around the corner that lead to the entrance to Wammy's House. Looking around her little platform, she suddenly felt as though it was much more lonely than it was before L came. She sighed and headed towards the crate that held her winter clothes, dressing quickly for bed. She grabbed her thin blanket and wrapped herself up, drifting into sleep thinking mournful thoughts.
oOo
As it always did, the breakfast chatter of the Wammy's House residents awoke Vanessa from her fitful sleep. She had had a terrible night, waking up from horrifying nightmares soaked in sweat and crying. The circles under her eyes almost matched L's and she looked sickly. However, she got up anyway, forcing herself to rise. She had to find a winter blanket and soon. The cold was coming on much faster than last year and Vanessa was as of yet unprepared. So, sparing only a quick glance towards the window, Vanessa set off, her heart heavy, but her hopes high.
Today, she went dumpster diving in search of her winter blanket, heading towards the richer side of Winchester. She found that rich people were often wasteful of clothes and others she needed. When she found her first dumpster, her search turned up fruitless. She spent the entire day searching, but her search was vain. No one had thrown away blankets and she would have to wait for another day. When dark began to fall, she headed sadly back towards her alley, head hung low and her eyes brimming with tears.
She hated the days she didn't find anything. It always made her feel... useless. She didn't know why, but it did. It was as though she was letting opportunities slip through her fingers that she would never get again. She felt worthless because she couldn't find what she needed to survive.
Vanessa reached her alley with a minimal amount of tear tracks on her face. They were almost unnoticeable in the almost complete darkness, but they could be seen if you really looked at her. Her head was hung low, so she didn't see L waiting for her, crouched patiently on one of the crates. When he saw her, he immediately stood to see what was wrong.
"Vanessa?" Her head snapped up when she heard his concerned voice and a well practiced and false smile flew to her face. Sometimes she had to charm her way out of situations. She had long since perfected an innocent smile.
"L!" she rushed over to him and enveloped him in a hug, but she didn't see the worried look on his face, nor the disbelieving look in his eyes. He wasn't fooled by the fake smile she gave him. He knew something was wrong.
"Vanessa, something's wrong." She looked up at him and cocked her head, looking as innocent as she could. He frowned, "I can see the tear tracks on your face still. You've been crying." Instantly, the smile dropped off of Vanessa's face and her true feelings began to come out, beginning with her eyes starting to water. L was shocked when she buried her head in the crook of his neck and began sobbing, quickly soaking his shoulder in warm tears.
"I, I feel so, so worthless!" she wailed, clutching him even tighter. L couldn't make out what she said after that over her choked sobs and hiccups. He just hugged her back and pulled her into the alley so they wouldn't be discovered. The adults at Wammy's House already didn't approve of him sneaking away, but they would hate it if they found out it was to meet with a homeless girl who lived in the alley. He would keep their friendship all to himself.
"Vanessa, shh, calm down," he tried to soothe the distraught girl, hugging her and whispering in her ear like he had seen the other adults do, "You're not worthless. I promise you, you're anything but worthless." That seemed to work, as she looked up at him, her eyes still watery, but a small smile on her face.
"R-really?" she asked, hiccuping a little. L smiled at her, relieved she had stopped sobbing uncontrollably.
"Really," he echoed, hugging her. She giggled a little bit and hugged him back, burying her face in his neck again. He noticed that she liked doing that. He didn't mind. She was his only friend and she could do what she wanted.
"Thank you L, again," she whispered, her voice weak, "You make me feel better." L smiled and cradled the girl in his arms. He liked having Vanessa as a friend. It felt like he could protect her and made him feel important to someone. Not for his genius, but for him, L, not L the genius child.
"Come on," he said, unwrapping her arms from his shoulders, "Let's go to your room and we'll talk about it there, okay? Or do you want to come to my room?" Vanessa's eyes immediately showed conflict. While she wanted the warmth of L's room, she would have preferred the comfort and familiarity of her own tent. However, common sense and the growing shaking of her shoulders convinced both her and L to go to his room.
Just like before, the pair snuck into Wammy's House as silently as they could manage. Vanessa's occasional hiccup made it a slightly treacherous. Sill, they made it safely to L's bedroom and he locked the door behind him, ensuring at least Vanessa's safety. She was still attached to L, her arms now wrapped around his waist and her head buried in his chest. He smiled the tinies bit. He couldn't help but like the fact that Vanessa was so attached to him. He was, after all, male and had the instincts to protect her at all costs.
L led Vanessa slowly towards his bed, making sure not to rush her. She was still trembling slightly as they sat down. Miraculously, L decided against crouching, opting instead to sit the smaller girl on his lap. Vanessa clung to him once more, curling into her protective ball and girpping his shirt in her tiny fists.
"Tell me what happened," L said softly, patting her back comfortingly, "Why do you think you're worthless?" They sat in silence for a while and L began to think that Vanessa wouldn't answer, but she soon spoke up.
"I was looking for a blanket," she began, "When winter comes, I always start looking for a thick blanket. Usually, when I go searching I find what I need on the first try. But today... whenever I don't find what I need, I feel worthless. It feels like I'm not able to do anything right and I feel stupid." L sighed.
"Not all of us achieve on our first try," he said, "You're not worthless, that much is very true. Think of it as you've taken out all the places that don't work and you've narrowed your search. It makes things easier on you." Vanessa shook her head wildly, startling L.
"It's not like that!" she said desperately, "If I don't find a blanket soon, someone else will end up finding it and I'll die during the winter!" Vanessa's eyes were so wide and frightened, L pulled her into a tight hug. He couldn't bear to see her so frightened. She desperately didn't want to die and she was only trying to stay alive.
"Vanessa, Vanessa," he murmured into her hair, "It's okay. We'll find you a blanket soon, all right? And if we can't..." L hesitated. Should he really extend the offer he wanted to? It wouldn't be safe for her, but it would be even less safe outside without a blanket.
"If we can't, then you can stay in my room." Vanessa gasped and her head shot up, looking at L with wide, innocent eyes.
"I can't do that," she said, "If we get caught, you'll get in trouble and I'll be taken away! I'll be killed if someone finds out!" L stared at her incredulously. Where had she gotten the thought that she would die if she was killed?
"What makes you think you'll die if you're caught?" he asked, his curiousity getting the better of him.
"When I was littler, all the other children who used to live in the alley were caught and they never came back!" she cried out, "They were killed by the big people who caught them! I'll be killed too if I'm caught." L smiled a little. She didn't know what actually happened to homeless children when they were found.
"That's not true," he said, "I was found and taken here. When they find homeless children, they take them to orphanages. They're not killed. They're taken to a better home." Vanessa stared up at him blankly.
"You were homeless too?" she asked, shocked. She thought that children in the orphanages were taken because they had bad parents; parents who didn't love them enough, so they were taken to a better place. She didn't know that children who were caught were taken there.
"Yes," he replied, smiling at her, "Mr. Wammy brought me here just a few days ago. I'm still alive aren't I?" Vanessa looked at him for a while before looking down at his chest. He stared at her curiously as she stared at him, her eyes looking speculative. He was surprised to say the least when she poked him in the ribs.
"Yup, you're really real!" she said cheerfully, hugging L tightly, "And you're my best friend!" L laughed.
"You're my best friend too," he said, hugging her back. All of a sudden Vanessa pulled back, a serious look in her eyes. L immediately sobered and stared at her just as solemnly. He was confused though when she held out her pinky finger.
"Best friends forever?" she asked, staring him straight in the eye. L smiled. He linked his pinky with hers happily.
"Best friends forever," he echoed.