All of Pine Valley slept.
... And yet, Maggie Stone was awake.
The twenty-three year old leaned against the brick wall of a nondescript alleyway and without thinking, slid down so her little derriere rested against the cold concrete. Streetlights from outside of the back street gave the ground a slightly lustrous look and Maggie found herself staring at it. The black only served as a reminder of the dark hole where her heart, her everything used to be and now it was empty, void, topping it all off with a small pang of regret. She reached out to Bianca Montgomery with unexperienced hands only to feel the sharp pain of rejection in return. Maggie couldn't help but blame herself. Of course Bianca wouldn't wait for her. She was absolutely crazy for thinking so. And as much as Maggie didn't want to admit it, there was a light in Bianca's chocolate eyes whenever the tall vixen currently named Lena Kundera was around. A light that she could never give to Bianca. A light which she tried to give Bianca, but only had the taller girl extinguish in return.
She hated Lena Kundera.
Maggie's right hand instinctively buried itself into the smooth pocket of her cargo pants and emerged with a half-full pack of Camel cigarettes. She wasn't the typical one to smoke, and usually condemned the thought of ever doing so. Maggie knew all too well that the habit was dangerously addictive and at the same time incredibly juvenile and stupid, but when the warmth and smell of the tobacco infiltrated her nostrils and the heat of the smoke drifted down her throat, it comforted her. In an odd sort of way. She frowned when she realized that Bianca would mostly likely have scolded her for her new found hobby. In actuality, Maggie never wanted to use cigarettes to help calm her, to help blow all of her stress away. She didn't want to put the cigarettes to use in her body, but she couldn't control everything. It took her a few years to realize that.
Maybe she could have stopped. Maybe she could put an end to this entire pile of bullshit called her life right now.
But then she could never have Bianca. And she would much rather keep trying to capture her best friend's heart than end it all right here, right now. Even if chasing after the taller girl would lead her to her inevitable grave.
Addictions were hard to shrug off.
I love you, Maggie. But I'm commited to Lena.
Like that's what she wanted to hear. Way to ruin the moment, Binks. Maggie, with accurate precision, took the cigarette and poised it between her lips. She could feel the hard bricks of the wall press against her the back of her head when she rolled her head back, but she didn't care. To tell the truth, she didn't care about much anymore. If she didn't have Bianca, she didn't want anything at all.
Maggie snickered to herself when she realized how silly she must look with an unused cigarette dangling helplessly from between her lips. It would have made Bianca laugh, if she was okay with the fact that Maggie smoked. No, Mags. Don't think about her. Tearing herself away from the thoughts that were currently assaulting her, Maggie looked around and for the first time that night, noticed that the alleyway that she had retired to a couple of hours before was anything but nondescript. A closed, blue dumpster to her left, though the coloring was rather dark and eery in the night's lacklusture illumination. Water droplets descending from a slanted origin above her, forming stagnant puddles of moisture on the asphalted ground. Maggie's eyes continued to nonchalantly search, her sight halting on the corners where trash and filth were piled on top of each other.
She tried to find something less gray than she already felt.
Something more miserable than she already felt.
She found nothing. There couldn't possibly be a single thing that felt more useless and emotionally abused than she did at that moment. ''What am I here for?'' Maggie whispered more to the night than to herself. No one answered, and she didn't expect anyone to. But she kept wondering anyway. Why am I here? Why? She kept asking herself several times as she sat for hours - not just in this alley, but everywhere. School, at the apartment, even the little places. Of course, the same question had two answers.
Maggie was here, in this alleyway, for the same reason she had taken up smoking. Stress. Anger. The typical excuses.
But Maggie Stone wasn't stupid. She knew that throwing herself a pity party and only inviting herself would be the death of her. Plus, who would she share the black and white ''MAGGIE SUCKS'' balloons with? This thought seemed to comfort the shorter girl as she stood up from the concrete, the skin of her palms aiding her to stand to her feet. She wobbled a bit; she'd been at the same spot for some time now. There was no doubt in her mind that Bianca wasn't worried about her, and she hated herself for being so selfish once again. Even though Bianca's rejection was a shock for her, Maggie could tell that the darker haired girl still genuinely cared for her with all of her heart, and Maggie simply refused to let Lena Kundera get in the way of their friendship.
But she didn't have any problem getting in the way of Lena and Bianca's relationship.
Maggie smiled as she headed back to the apartment, flicking the unused cigarette to the ground.
All of Pine Valley slept.
... And yet, Bianca Montgomery was also awake.
So was Lena Kundera. But who really cares.
Bianca was worried. In fact, if she were any more worried, she was sure that she would pick up the phone off of its reciever and dial 911 as fast as she could in order to file a missing persons report. Hi, Bianca Montgomery here. Yes, Erica's daughter. I would like to officially declare that my best friend in the whole wide friggin' universe is nowhere to be seen because of me, and I'm so angry with myself right now that I can hurl myself out of this window and plunge into the darkness. Lena had been continually reassuring her that Maggie was perfectly okay, and Bianca was getting sick of it. She wanted Lena to shut up and go find something else to do other than sit here and rub her back and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Because Bianca knew that was far, far away from the truth. Too far for anything in the world to be just 'okay.'
Maggie left the apartment about six hours ago after Lena had come in to visit Bianca. A normal thing for Maggie to do, Bianca summarized, but her best friend usually left a hint to where she was going to be. Or, at least, came up with a feasible excuse. Last time it was the library, and the time before that was because she had to get to a class. But there was no explanation this time. There was no explanation why it was three o'clock in the morning and Maggie Stone was still not home. And more importantly, Maggie Stone was still not home with her.
Lena was pacing around the room silently, clutching a glass of water in her hand. Bianca was sure if she continued doing so, her girlfriend would leave a permanent dent in the carpet. She wanted to reach foward and grab Lena and shove her onto the couch so she could prevent such critical damage to her and Maggie's apartment, but she was almost positive that she didn't want to disturb Lena. Lena was thinking. Bianca could tell because she has a way about her. Her teeth clench down on her lower lip and her tongue presses desperately into the side of her cheek.
So, instead, Bianca asked her patiently. ''Lena, please. If you keep pacing you are going to ruin the carpet. Sit down.''
Lena looked up at Bianca and stopped, suddenly realized that she was basically walking a marathon without the miles on her girlfriend's carpet. Softly smiling, she headed over to the couch where she settled down next to Bianca.
''I'm sorry, my lahv. I am just worried about Maggie.''
Lena nodded reassuringly, but knew that was far from the truth. The taller woman was more interested in the fact that Maggie might have fallen off of the earth. To be completely frank, Lena had never been all too jovial about the lasting friendship between Bianca and Maggie. She knew that Maggie wanted more from her girlfriend; she could tell by the glazed look in her eyes when she looked at Lena and Bianca together. Together, as one. Just her and Bianca. And there was no way that she would allow Maggie Stone to ruin such a beautiful thing.
''She's okay, Lena. I know she is,'' Bianca said, leaning back into the couch in an attempt to get more comfortable.
''I know too, lahv. I know too,'' Lena reassured once more, wrapping a slender arm around the shoulders of Bianca. Sinister as the thought was, she hoped she didn't know. She hoped Maggie was gone, and out of the way of her relationship with Bianca.
''Do you?'' Bianca asked, touched that Lena recognized the importance of her friendship with Maggie.
Lena simply nodded at Bianca. ''Of course. Maggie is not stupid. Sure, she can be stubborn and selfish at times, but she is not stupid. She will return to you.''
Bianca almost smiled at what Lena said, until she realized the two insults that her girlfriend had included in the midst of comforting her. ''Lena, Maggie is not selfish. She can be stubborn, but she is not selfish.''
The other woman looked at Bianca incredulously. ''Are you telling me that Maggie is not selfish for what she did to you tonight? Leaving you here so helplessly while you continue to fret over her whereabouts? Tell me you are surely kidding.''
It was Bianca's turn to look incredulous. She stood up from the couch and away from Lena, crossing her arms over her chest. ''I'm far from kidding, Lena. If you want to insult my best friend, do it somewhere else. Because I will not tolerate it here, and I certainly won't listen to your petty accusations.''
Lena stood up from the couch as well, staring at Bianca with puppy dog eyes. ''Bianca, I'm deeply sorry. It's just that I can't help but feel this is all Maggie's wrong doing.''
The incredulous look did not leave Bianca's face. She absolutely couldn't believe that she was hearing this, and more precisely, from her girlfriend. She couldn't take it anymore.
''Lena, I think it would be best if you left.''
Lena gazed at Bianca, her mouth agape. ''No, Bianca. I ref--''
Bianca cut her off without a single trace of hesitation. ''I said leave, Lena.''
Lena, looking like a deer in headlights, finally recognized her girlfriend's wishes. Turning without a single word, she grabbed her coat off of the coat rack and slipped it around her shoulders. She looked back over her shoulder to Bianca only once, looking at her sympathetically, before heading off into the hallway.
Bianca, meanwhile, sunk down into the couch, continuing to wonder where exactly could her best friend be.
The darkness engulfing her had grown strangely comforting. A contentment was formed earlier, simply from basking in the darkness and letting the shadows collect around her. Maggie stood outside of the apartment building, another cigarette suspended between her lips. This time the white cylinder was aflame, the tip red and hot from the lighter she used. With each puff of the precarious smoke a memory of Frankie came running into her mind. Her twin sister was always the troublesome one, with her drugs, cigarettes, and inkling for breaking the law included. Never in a million years would Maggie have imagined that she would end up just like her sister had. Well, not yet, considering that she demanded to be at least fifty feet away from drugs and had only broken the law once the time she sped ten miles over the limit when trying to get to class.
It feels like I've been thrown into the deep end and I don't know how to swim.
The time when she sped ten miles over the limit was after was after her talk with Bianca. I'm commited to Lena. Commited. Lena. The words kept ebbing through her mind, never letting her forget that her best friend had chosen Lena Kundera over her. Maggie laughed bitterly. Before her life ended, Bianca Montgomery was going to drive her to the brink of insanity. If she wasn't already there.
Maggie's dark eyes look up to the sky, which is woven with the diamond-like stars twinkling in the silver wash of the moonlight.
''You guys are beautiful, you know? I wish I could be that solitary. That.. that, bright. So bright,'' Maggie whispered to herself, lowering the cigarette from her mouth so the smoke wouldn't get in the way of her viewing. A silent flash of lightning suddenly lit up the sky, tearing the darkness violently and causing the petite Stone girl to flinch. Maggie aimlessly tilted her head to look down at the hard asphalt below her, taking in its glow from the illumination suspending in from above, before casting her glance back to the sky.
''You melt. You blend. If I had the freedom to do that. Wow.''
Maggie paused.
''I hope you guys don't lead me in the wrong direction.''
Taking a long drag from the cigarette, Maggie sighed. She concluded that she should probably head in, considering that Bianca was most likely sending a thousand search crews out for her. After tossing the cigarette to the ground and grinding it down in the concrete with her boot, Maggie turned around to head into the apartment. But she bumped into something along her way. Or, rather someone. Someone too freakishly tall and thin. Maggie knew who it was once she smelled the perfume, that sickenly perfume that had the slightest scent of a cornflower. Somehow, she knew that the woman who she would rather push off of the face of the earth than anything else had heard her secret conversation with the stars above.
''You know, Bianca hates the smell of smoke.''
Maggie wanted to puke. She hated that voice and even worse, she hated that accent. God, she hated everything about her. What't so special about her anyway, Binks? Why did you pick this abnormally skinny and unusually tall thing over me? What can she provide that I can't? Maggie asked these questions to herself each and every single day, trying to pinpoint the reason why Binks was so infatuated with Lena. There was no point, however, because it was nearly impossible for Maggie to pick out something positive about the taller woman. Nearly? No. Make that clearly.
The blonde looked up from the ground to be unfortunately greeted by the snarled face of Lena Kundera. Ah, the most beautiful sight ever, Maggie quietly roused to herself, which led her to smirk lightly. This didn't go unnoticed by Lena, who was prowling over Maggie like a lion does to its pray. Suddenly Maggie didn't feel all too powerful.
''What are you smirking for, Maggie? Do you even know that Bianca is up there in your apartment, worrying her head off? Do you not care?''
Maggie rolled her off. If only the clueless idiot before her knew how much she did care. Gazing at Lena with as much venom in her eyes as the taller woman had, Maggie simply scoffed.
''Do you not know what a tic tac is? Because, let me tell you. You need to chug a few down right now.''
Lena felt a growl in her throat, but didn't let it bellow out as she watched Maggie dig into one of the many pockets of her cargo pants, obviously fishing for something. After a few moments of struggling, Maggie triumphantly pulled out a pack of Winterfresh gum and threw one of the seven sticks she had to spare at Lena's face. It hit Lena square in the nose, which only made the woman more infuriated than she already was.
''Sorry, ran out of tic tacs. Winterfresh is second in line for fresh breath, though.''
As Lena started to retort, Maggie held her hands up and offered her a simple smile. ''No need to thank me, Lena. Anything for a friend.''
And as simple as that, the blonde disappeared into the building in front of them, her smile growing even wider. Lena, meanwhile, was not smiling. She was undecidely not smiling. She turned around and watched Maggie dissipate into the apartment hallways. Grabbing the stick of gum and bending it in half, Lena let out that growl that she had been holding in.
''You'll regret that you ever did that to me, Maggie Stone.''
Lena threw the stick of gum to the ground carelessly and whirled around, heading towards her car while muttering to herself.
''You'll pay.''
Maggie hesitated outside of the closed door. Should she go in and burst into tears in her best friend's arms and confide in her about some wild story where she got kidnapped by apes and then proceeded to almost being abducted to Neptune, or nonchalantly stride into the apartment without a word and head into the kitchen for a four o'clock in the morning snack? She was trying to decide whether a banana or a cup of soup would best settle her stomach so early in the day when Bianca flung open the door, an exasperated expression dancing over her beautiful face. No, Maggie, she reminded herself once more. Don't let her looks taint you.
''Mags, where have you been?! I've been worried sick about you!''
It was too late. Maggie was about ready to fall to her knees and grovel for Bianca's forgiveness. Instead, she simply shrugged her shoulders and brushed her way past Bianca into the apartment, plopping onto the couch with a large and resounding thud. Bianca, shutting the door behind her, went over and sat next to her best friend.
''I guess Lena was right, then,'' Maggie said, deliberately ignoring Bianca's inquiry.
Bianca looked dubiously confused. ''About what?''
Maggie looked up from the carpet, which had a noticeable dent in it. She was trying to remember if that was there before when she suddenly realized that Bianca expected an answer. ''Nothing. I just ran into her outside of the building. She told me that you were worrying your head off. And I'm sorry to tear us both out of the current subject, but what the hell happened to our carpet?''
Bianca couldn't help but laugh, while Maggie looked at her, completely befuddled. ''Lena. She was pacing so much, worrying about you. I thought she would accidently walk right out that window if she didn't stop.''
Snickering, Maggie shook her head, not believing that Lena could be so tricky and manipulative with her best friend. Lena, worried about her? As if. Bianca noticed Maggie's snicker and raised an eyebrow at her best friend.
''What, Mags? Does the thought of Lena falling out of a window amuse you that much?'' Bianca asked, letting a small grin curl her lips to let Maggie know she was only kidding.
''It does, actually,'' Maggie replied, suddenly not wanting to talk anymore as she raised herself from the couch, taking a moment to let loose the crooks in her neck before looking down at Bianca again. ''If you don't mind, Binks, I think I'm going to go get some sleep. Been a long night and stuff.''
Bianca also noticed the whiff of tobacco attacking her nostrils when Maggie stood. She recognized it from spending so much time with Frankie, who had smoked religiously. She would have to ask about that later, considering that the heavy bags beneath Maggie's eyes were starting to make her uncomfortable. Not knowing what else to do, Bianca simply nodded and took Maggie's hand in her own, enveloping the smaller girl's limb.
''Of course I don't, Mags. Just know that I'm here to talk whenever you need me.''
The shorter girl smiled softly, and couldn't resist the temptation of pulling Bianca's hands to her lips and kissing the gentle flesh. ''I know, Binks. Thank you.''
''Don't mention it,'' Bianca whispered, while Maggie headed into the bathroom to freshen up. In the morning, she was going to have a long talk with one Maggie Stone. But for now, she'd simply have to wonder what was wrong with her best friend and why she wasn't telling her anything about it.