A/N: I know I owe you all the next chapter of 'Stalker Soup', but please bear with me. I've just returned from my vacation and I found out that someone I considered to be one of my best friends is actually a two-timing, backstabbing, little bitch. (-angry death glare at insert bitch's name here-) So I've been feeling rather angsty and so that I that the chapter wouldn't be butchered by my wrath I left it alone. It shall be up in a day or two, I promise. (-crosses fingers behind back-) Jk, but ignore the ranting author and just read the story damnit. Dattebayo!

Warning: Rather OOC and random.

Disclaimer: Lieutenant Stupid reporting for duty, cause there is no way in hell that I own Naruto.


Incompatible

'If you don't like the guy, slap him. If you do like him, slap him harder.'

-Rie-chan

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AHEM! Okay, now that I've got your attention, I guess I should start. The only question left is how. Hmmm…...What to do, what to do? Oh, I got it!

I HATE MY FREAKIN' LIFE!!!!

Okay, glad we got that cleared up, but I guess I owe you an explanation. We'll begin with my name seeing as a classic introduction always works best.

Hi! I'm Sakura, Haruno Sakura.

Still doesn't answer your question does it? Guess you're new, seeing as most already know my tale. Looks like its story time then; gather round, gather round everyone! Well, let's see now…You already know my name but we'll stick to the basics. I'm 17 years old, have green eyes, pink hair, and a large forehead- Hey, what are you laughing at?! My forehead is not something you want to criticize unless you want a broken nose buddy!!! Good, glad you see it my way, so where was I again? Oh right! I'm average height(160cm to be exact), average weight(which is none of your business), and I posses the ability to kick your ass into next year if I want. Oh yeah, I also still hate my freakin' life! Still not getting a clear picture? No? Okay well, I'll try again. Being seventeen isn't too bad, everyone who hasn't died before their seventeenth birthday has to suffer the same adolescent crap I do. Green eyes are cool, the best eye colour if you ask me. Not just because it's my eye colour either, my crush has green eyes too; we won't go there right now though. Pink hair is abnormal, but screw you all to hell! It's original, it's natural, and at least I don't look like you! Some people tease me about it, but most think it's pretty sweet, even if they do believe I dyed it. Oh well, everyone's a critic right? My forehead is, well, okay. It's not as bad as it used to be, I've grown into it over last few years. It also looks better now that I keep my hair short. So all in all, I'm a pretty normal teenager, right? WRONG! You see, I'm actually…drum roll please…

A NINJA!

Okaaaayyyy, so I'm not actually a ninja, but I wish I were one. It would be SO COOL! I dream about being a shinobi all the time. To be known and respected as a powerful kunoichi, that's a female ninja if hadn't guessed. Silently stalking my prey, killing with a single deadly strike of a kunai, lauching a surprise attack with some shuriken, blasting away the enemy with an awesome jutsu! Now that would be the life! But as it is, I'm just a high school student attending Konoha Academy. Although, I am a respected combatant, got my black belt just last summer. I can blow you outta the water with my mad fighting skills! Shannaro! Now, back to the point of my crappy existence. Living in Konohagakure no Sato isn't all that bad, beats living in Suna, that's for sure. The desert just isn't my thing yah know? Cramps my style. Or even Otogakure, living in a dump of a town like that sure would suck, not that my life doesn't already stink.

Hmmm….I'm still not explaining my self all that well now am I? I always did have a knack for rambling. So what have we established so far?

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Name: Haruno Sakura

Age: 17

Hair Colour: Pink

Eye Colour: Green

Height: 160cm

Weight: Not telling

Talents: Kicking your butt with my bad-ass black belt skills

School: Konoha Academy

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Wow, that was a lot easier to do! I think I'll continue like this...

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Birthday: March 28th

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Favourite Food: Anmitsu and umeboshi

Hobbies: Reading, studying, trivia, kicking your lame butt because I can

Place of Origin: We won't go there

Hometown: Konohagakure no Sato, capital of the Fire Country

Friends: Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Hinata, Kitano Ten-Ten

Best Friend: Uzumaki Naruto

Parents: Six feet under for the last two years

Status: Single

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Man, the last one blows! I think that's all you need to know right now, so let's get to my story!

'Once upon a time in a magical land far away, there lived a beautiful princess nam-'

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!! WE ARE NOT READING SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVENT DWARFS YOU KNOW! MY STORY GOES MORE LIKE THIS…

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BEEP!

Shit.

BEEP!

Screw.

BEEP!

All right damnit.

With a load groan, a disoriented pink and black blob fell out from beneath a mass of tangled azure sheets and crashed into the floor with an ungracious and loud thump.

BEEP!

"Another great way to start a freakin' perfect day," grumbled a sarcastic voice from the ground. It appeared to have emitted from the awkward lump from below.

BEEP!

"SHUT UP ALREADY, I HEARD YOU THE FIRST DAMN TIME!"

BEE-

CRASH! BANG! BOOM!

Thus began Haruno Sakura's oh so wonderful day and an untimely death for yet another innocent alarm clock.

"Looks like I'll need another one."

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"SAKURA-CHAN!"

Damn.

"SAKURA-CHAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!"

With a disgruntled sigh, Sakura turned to face the music, or rather the volumous shrieks that echoed off the walls. Wasn't life just dandy?

"What do yo-"

CRASH!

A wild mess of golden spikes clouded her peripheral vision as Sakura was sent flying backwards for the second time that day. The only difference was that she hit the wall first this time. She had about two seconds to register the fact that she had been bombarded before all the wind was knocked out of her by a bone-crushing hug and stars danced before her eyes.

"Na-Naruto…get the…hell…off of m-me ri-right…now!" she managed to gasp out of her constricted throat.

"Gomen Sakura-chan, it was an accident," Naruot apologized with an embarrassed chuckle.

As always, Naruto had come barreling down the hallway, and as always he had sent them airborne in his eagerness to greet her. Sakura knew she should be used to the antics of the overly energetic blond knucklehead, seeing as this happened every single damn morning, but as usual, it still irked her to no end. Such was the morning ritual.

"Baka," she snapped.

"Ahh Sakura-chan, I said I was sorry."

"And yet, no matter how sorry you announce that you are, you never learn. Never once in all of your eight years of being sorry have you ever actually meant it, because in all of those eight there has never been a day that you don't knock me over."

Repetition much?

Sakura knew she was being hard on Naruto, but she just couldn't help it. After her crappy wake up call this morning, she'd managed to miss the bus because her shower had been broken. After twenty frustrating minutes of violent tussling with a stubborn set of pipes, Sakura had managed to take a shower-a very cold shower mind you. To top it all off, she had to confront her least favourite person in the world. Not only that, he'd managed to make her look like an idiot in front of her crush. Life was grand, ne?

Flashback

"Stupid freakin' alarm clock, stupid freakin' shower, stupid freakin' life!"

Sakura's tirade of verbal insults to all things stupid that morning was quickly cut off as she walked through the front gates of the school. This interruption was caused by the one stupid thing she'd forgotten to add to her 'stupid' list. The stupidest something of them all.

"Uchiha," the muted growl issued from the back of her throat.

"Aa, if it isn't Haruno-chan," his voice was mocking as it rang out across the front lawn, attracting everyone.

Now normally Sakura could hold her own against the oral onslaught of said jerk, but his voice was attracted everyone, and she meant EVERYONE. For standing there, just a few feet away from her was…Sabaku no Gaara. This generally wouldn't be a problem, Sakura stood out anyway with her vibrant cherry tresses and she had learned to not give a damn about what people thought about her. That was, until he showed up. The reason he was called 'Gaara of the Desert' was because he'd just transferred here from Suna. Although no one knew his real surname, the nickname had stuck-even the teachers referred to him as Sabaku no Gaara. In Sakura's eyes the name fit him perfectly, after all, Suna was the capital of the Wind Country and everyone knew that place was like a giant sandbox; which made Sunagakure like the giant sandcastle that sat in the middle. Mind you, in Sakura's eyes, EVERYTHING about Gaara was perfect. The black rimmed jade eyes, the glossy scarlet hair, smooth pale skin, muscular arms, and toned chest and abs. Not that she had noticed any of this or that smooth, deep voice of his. The way his blood red locks fell in front of his turquoise eyes, or the way his firm jaw line contrasted against the smooth lines of face. Or that sexy little crimson tattoo on his forehead that was the kanji for love. She'd never admit any of this of course, although, she didn't think she had to. The fact that she was attracted to him might as well be posted on a neon sign for all the good her denial did her.

Iie! Iie! Iie! She was not interested in Gaara, no way in Kami-sama's name did she find him perfect, sexy, gorgeous-IIE! She was Sakura damnit, she had pride damnit, she would not fangirl him damnit, and she was not attracted to him damnit! KUSO! KUSO! KUSO!

Ah damn, who did she think she was kidding anyway? Sabaku no Gaara was freakin' H-A-W-T and she, Haruno Sakura, had one hell of a crush on him. Stupid hormones.

"Thinking about something or perhaps 'someone' Haruno-chan?" his scorn was layered with a sickeningly sweet sugary coating that made her want to barf. Preferably all over him.

"No, I was not thank you very much, Uchiha-kun," she snarled out the last part, her own voice layered with that dangerously sugary tone.

Not only was she pissed about having to talk to this guy, he was mockinging her crush about Gaara, not to mention the fact that he had disturbed her thoughts about Gaara and his super sme-iie! Focus girly, you're suppose to be dissing this guy! Too bad they were on school property, she'd beat his smug little ass like there was no tomorrow; the stupid Uchiha had only made brown belt. In his pampered little face! She decided that now was a great time to rub this in.

"Ano Sasuke-kun, I can't wait to spar with you this Friday…oh right, I can't! Silly me, I forgot that you were only still a brown belt. Gomen nasai! By the way, have you managed to beat that girl Toko yet? I'd hope so, she's only what, seven?" she smirked in a self-satified way. Oh she sooo owned him now!

A collective snicker was heard from the group of assembled onlookers. Sakura received several glares from many girls in the crowd and she swore she saw the corners of Gaara's lips crack into a smile at her taunt.

"Actually, she's twelve," came the rather forced voice of an embarrassed Uchiha.

"Whatever, same difference," she chirped out with an indifferent wave of her hand, "She can still beat you."

More snickers were heard and some of them turned into full blown laughter. The glares hardened.

"I couldn't fight you even if you were worth my time. This Friday's the prom, or have you forgotten?" he smirked again. "Oh no Sakura-chan, don't tell me you don't have a date. Surely even someone as ugly as you couldn't have been forgotten on such an important day."

Several of the pointing fingers now turned to Sakura as the furious glares morphed to shrieks of laughter.

ZOMG! He did not just say that! How dare he burn he-this was HER moment. Though as angry as she was, his insult hit home. It wasn't so much as what he said was true as much as it was the fact that he had gone and pointed it out, in front of Gaara no less. She had been asked out several times-some had been requests from boys she didn't know; though most of them had been from Naruto and Lee. She'd turned them all down immediately for she had secretly been hoping that Gaara would ask her out, but with the dance two days away, that looked like an inane optimism.

"How…d-dare you!" she sputtered in indignation. "For your information I have been asked out, I just don't want to attend. I have better things to do than indulge in such frivolities."

"Of course Sakura-chan, we all believe you. If you stop feeling sorry for yourself then perhaps Karin and I will see you there. Good-bye."

With a final sarcastic smirk he stalked off, a fuming Sakura in his wake. The crowd slowly started to dissipate, all the while sneering at the public humiliation she'd just suffered from. In her miserable pit of self-pity and fury that Sasuke had dumped her into she missed the small smile that graced Gaara's features as he spared her a final glance before turning away with the rest. Although, no one could miss the amused twinkle visible in his eyes.

End Flashback

With a depressed sigh and a vicious shove, Naruto was sent flying off of her and halfway down the hall.

"Baka," she muttered again as she picked herself off the ground.

"Sakura-chaaann, why'd you do that?" Naruto moaned from his landing strip several meters away.

"Onegai Naruto, I didn't mean to push you so hard. Bad day," she replied, heading down the aisle to help her friend off the ground. He may drive her crazy everyday but he was still an incredible friend, like the brother she'd never had.

"Sasuke-teme?" he questioned as he accepted her proffered hand and heaved himself off the tiled aisle.

"Baka, if there ever was one. His ego is matched only by his superiority complex."

"Want me to hit him for you?" he asked hopefully.

"Nah, I'll get him myself, besides you'll get in trouble," Sakura argued halfheartedly. In truth, she would love to see Naruto break Sasuke's nose, but she didn't want to see her friend get nailed on her account.

"That's okay, I usually am," he countered in a cheery voice. Suddenly his tone turned serious, "What'd he do this time?"

"He started on about the dance; apparently he's superior because he is attending with the great Nakajima Karin. Just because she's a model and his family owns half of Japan does not make him better than the rest of the universal population. Kisama! I hate them both, hope they fall down the stairs and crack their skulls or severe their spinal cords at the dance."

Naruto smirked, "I'd pay money to see that." The smile slid off his face and his gaze hardened again. "But really Sakura-chan, you shouldn't let him get to you. Why'd you let him get away with it anyway? You usually have a good comeback or two."

Sakura felt a blush creep onto her cheeks at his question. Naruto may have been one of her best friends, but he was rather dense. Even though the rest of the school(more like galaxy, she figured there were aliens up in space who knew about her infactuation) seemed to know about her crush on Gaara, he was still oblivious; caught up in his own little world that she'd fall in love with him.

"Ano…well, you know…" she trailed off.

"Nani Sakura-chan? He didn't do something did he?" he growled, anger bubbling up at once at the thought of his rival hurting his precious blossom.

"Iie, he didn't. It's just, well…Gaarausmutching!" she hastily blurted out in her discomfort.

"Nani?" Naruto had a look of utter confusion etched across his tanned features as he scratched the back of his head.

She sighed in defeat-she hated to admit that she was obsessing over someone enough to lose cool. It just wasn't right. She was a tomboy for Kami's sake, not a fangirl. Not to mention the fact that Gaara was the anti-social center of the universe, he'd never be interested in her, not once in a million years. Once again she was sent into cursing the existence of hormones.

"Ano Sakura-chan, are you alright?" concern shone out from the depths of those cerulean eyes and echoed in his tone.

"Yah, I'm okay Naruto, it's ju-"

DING DONG!

"Well we'd better get to class, don't want to be late."

"But it's only Kakashi-sensei Sakura-chan, he's always late."

"It's the principle of it all Naruto, even if it doesn't really matter."

"Yosh Sakura-chan, if you say so."

They both headed off to History.

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The End.

Okay I'm just kidding, but story time is over kiddies. I guess that didn't really help you understand why my life sux so much but you'll see soon enough. Isn't Uchiha an ass though? Makes my life horrible and in front of Gaara-kun! I shall kill that asshole. Come back in a few days if you want to find out more, till then, whatever.

-Haruno Sakura

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A/N: Stupid? Check. Pointless? Check. Confusing? Check. This was supposed to be a oneshot but then it'd be way huge, so I'm making chapters instead. It's also my very first GaaSaku fic, I've had a recent obsession with this paring lately. The title for this fic is also up for debate, I couldn't come up with anything esle. Any ideas are welcome people!XD

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Ninpou, Review no Jutsu!

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Something Random: A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

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Ja ne!