Chapter One

The Insomniac.

"Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?" – John Lennon

"Edward, I'm fine."

I stretched my arms out, rubbed my eyes and yawned loudly before looking back at him. The dull golden hue of his irises—which signaled he would need to hunt soon—easily mesmerized me, despite my only being half conscious. Slowly, I began counting the golden freckles in his irises, blushing when I noticed a humored smile on his face, and briefly noted how the world was steadily becoming darker. However, as I started to doze off again, Edward cleared his throat, and the sound was enough to jerk me awake.

I groaned and scowled, which earned me an apologetic grimace from him. I knew that Edward only wanted what was best for me, but I couldn't understand why he was worrying so much.

"I hate it when you say that, Bella," Edward growled and shook his head. "You're not fine, you've been barely coherent for almost two months now—this has to stop."

At this time of the day, Edward would usually let me take a nap for the duration of lunch and rouse me so we could get to class on time. Imagine my irritation when Edward decided to spend the entire hour trying to convince me to see a sleep specialist instead of allowing me a forty-five minute reprieve. I was not happy, but it wasn't his fault.

For the past two and a half months, I had been plagued by horrifyingly relentless night terrors. Similar to when Edward left me, I would wake up screaming, sweating, and terrified beyond belief. However, when I eventually calmed down, I was unable to get back to sleep. So, each night contained about three to five hours of sleep, depending on the nightmare. I was determined that it was repercussions of Volterra, but I refused to say anything to Edward. I knew this was affecting him enough already, I didn't need to add guilt to the worry he already felt.

"They're just nightmares, Edward," I insisted and leaned my head on his shoulder, the frigidness of his skin waking me up a bit more. "Please, try not to worry so much."

"I can't help it, love," he replied softly and wrapped his arms around me. "It kills me to see you suffer."

"Please believe me," I pleaded and he looked at me. "I'm fi—okay…I'm okay, really."

He frowned, thoroughly unconvinced.

"I'm probably just anxious to graduate and be changed," I reasoned and briefly noted how my words were slurring together. "It's going to be hard to give up Charlie and everything."

"You're making excuses, Bella," Edward responded and shook his head.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are, Love," he sighed and ran a hand through his copper hair before ensnaring me in his arms. "Bella, I love you, but you're scaring me. You have no idea how painful it is to watch you scream every night—it's torture."

It killed me to know how much this was affecting him. Edward was notorious for holding the weight of his loved ones on his own shoulders, regardless of those willing to help, but this was getting ridiculous. Why didn't he believe me? They were only nightmares—figments of my own imagination.

Uh, maybe because it isn't true! You've been a zombie for almost two months now…this has to stop, and you know it!

"Please, let me help you," Edward said and cupped my hands in his, his eyes smoldering with devotion and worry.

Darn it…stupid vampiric dazzle thing.

"Wh-Wh-What did you have in mind?" I had to close my eyes to actually speak, seeing as his ability to dazzle me was on full force. When I opened them again, Edward's stress had been altered to what I assumed was hope.

"I spoke to Carlisle about what's been happening to you," Edward informed me and smiled when I groaned. Despite how silly he thought it was, I didn't want his family worrying about me anymore than they already did. "He thinks that there might be something that occurred in the past few months that could be causing this—a form of referred pain."

"I've told you everything that happened," I said and lowered my eyes a bit.

I really didn't like talking about the months that Edward had been gone, most especially with him. He still harbored so much guilt over what he had put me through, and he also frowned on the idea that Jake and I had become such good friends. According to Edward, Jacob was a ticking time bomb that would tear me to shreds if I was within a ten foot radius. It was ludicrous—I hated being caught in the middle of this feudal enemy crud.

Speaking of Jacob Black, I had not seen or heard from him since he had informed Charlie of my motorcycle adventures. Because of his actions, Charlie had grounded me for the remainder of my senior year. I knew that he thought he doing what was best for me, but that didn't mean I wasn't mad as hell at him. Regardless, I still missed my best friend and had even given Charlie notes to give to Jake. It was ultimately unsuccessful.

Frankly, I didn't blame my dad for punishing me; who wouldn't have grounded me after I had disappeared for a few days, and returned with the boy that shattered my heart? I had accepted my restriction willingly on the stipulation that I was still allowed to see Edward. After an hour long debate with Charlie where I had threatened to move out, he had begrudgingly agreed.

The parameters of my restriction were as follows: I was to go to school and be home by four o'clock. I was allowed to have thirty minutes of phone time, and I could only have visitors in the kitchen when Charlie was home.

My classes had been cut short since finals were coming, so I was always out of school by three. I was sure Charlie believed he was being generous by offering me an hour with Edward, and I didn't complain. The only times I raised a fuss were the occasions Edward and Charlie's paths crossed, and my dad was blatantly rude to him.

Of course, since the nightmares had been affecting my day to day activities, Charlie had been a little more lenient; instead of forbidding Edward from entering the house, he allowed him to escort me inside. Ever since my supposed car accident, a few weeks prior, dad had gone to different lengths to keep me out from behind the wheel.

It wasn't an accident—not in the literal definition, anyway.

I had been heading home from the grocery store, when the lack of sleep had caused my eyes to close for a couple seconds. Unfortunately, this prevented me from seeing the stoplight turn red as well as the oncoming car. I was able to avoid a collision by spinning the wheel—almost hitting a telephone pole— and thankfully there was no damage to either vehicle. However, we were both so freaked out by the almost altercation—my vision was spinning, and she was a hysterical sixteen year old in her mother's car—that we called the police, which had turned into a huge mistake.

Charlie, Edward, and Alice had arrived, as well as an ambulance and the Forks Fire Department. Apparently, my dad had called every emergency service possible. My face had turned a new shade of red when Charlie insisted that I ride in the ambulance to the hospital. I had never wanted to kill anyone more in that moment.

"Are you all right, Bella?" Edward's icy touch on my cheek brought me back to reality.

"Yeah," I replied in a husky voice and looked at him. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"Carlisle wants you to come in and see him tomorrow afternoon," Edward reiterated and frowned when I refused. "He needs to hear what happened himself."

"Okay," I replied, irritated, and crossed my arms. "All I'm hearing is 'Bella, we want to put you under a microscope'."

"It's not like that, love," Edward answered and chuckled lightly. "We all just want to see you healthy."

The next few hours somehow flew by, and, before I knew it, I was sitting in Edward's front seat as he drove me home. Meanwhile, Alice was chirping in the backseat about the graduation party she was planning on throwing for our graduating class. All the while Edward and I commented on how unnecessary her outlandish plans were.

"It's high time these small town kids get a taste of real music," Alice remarked as she flipped through a small book containing a detailed listing of her music collection. She had every c.d. she had ever owned categorized and documented in a tiny black book. I had tried to make sense of it once, but gave up. "I'm pulling out all the stops and bringing in the big guns."

"Alice, please," Edward said as we turned off the highway. "Let's try to keep this party reasonable—they're only human."

"Oh, pssh!" Alice waved her hand in the air before becoming submersed in her music. Every now and then she would call herself a genius and laugh maniacally. It was slightly terrifying.

By the time we reached my house, Alice had transferred her attention from music to special effects, which revolved around a fog machine and a state-of-the-art light system. Apparently, there was a company in Sweden that had revolutionized a new kind of lighting system, one that made most rock concerts look amateur.

"Don't forget, Bella," Alice chimed as I climbed out of the Volvo. "We're going shopping on Wednesday for your graduation outfit."

"Please don't remind me," I muttered and waved to her as Edward escorted me to the front door.

"Trust me, Love," Edward whispered in my ear and wrapped his arm around my waist. The frigidness of his skin sent a chill through me that woke me up a bit more. "This is tame compared to what she's done in the past."

"I still fear for the sanity of my friends," I said and we shared a laugh.

After school, Edward had informed me that he had to take me straight home instead of spending time in the meadow as we usually did. Apparently, the Cullens needed to have an immediate family chat that I wasn't privy to. It bothered me a little that I wasn't invited to this, especially since I would be becoming one of them in less than two weeks, but I said nothing to Edward. I couldn't help feeling like there was something he wasn't telling me. It definitely wouldn't be the first time. However, my father's ominous presence detracted me from Edward's refusal to tell me things, and brought me back to the present.

"Hi Dad," I said when I walked through the door and found him waiting. After dropping my bag on the kitchen table, I offered him a weak smile. "How was work?"

"Busy." I noticed that Charlie's demeanor was sluggish, just as mine was, and we both had heavy bags under our eyes. There had been a string of murders occurring in Seattle, and all the smaller police departments were getting hit hard. The Seattle PD had outsourced to the small counties to help with the work that was piling up. Charlie had been going to work earlier and getting home later. The fact that he was home at the moment was nothing short of a miracle. "I decided to take a half day to catch up on some rest—I'll be going back in around ten."

"Ten…as in ten tonight?" I really didn't like the idea of my dad being out late, especially since I found out that there were supernatural creatures in the shadows. The thought of Victoria or something getting to him was more than I could handle. "Dad, come on, you need your rest—can't someone else handle it?"

"Don't worry about me," Charlie said, brushing off my concern as usual. "You just concentrate on you."

"Chief Swan?" Edward maneuvered around me, and came face to face with my father's untrusting eyes. "I told my father about Bella's sleeping issues, and he suggested she take these." He showed the medicine, which I didn't even see him take from my backpack. "They're sleep aides, and should help her get some rest."

"Oh," was all he said.

"She's eighteen, of course," Edward said as Charlie inspected the pills, "but, I think you should be informed, especially since she's not completely coherent at the moment."

"Well, uh, thanks…uh…thank your father for me," Charlie grunted and placed the medication on the hall table.

"If you want me to take those," I growled and crossed my arms over my chest, "then you're going about this the wrong way." I hated being talked about like I was a thing and not a person.

"Calm down, Bells," Charlie said and I could see the makings of a smile at the corner of his mouth. "The boy has a point—don't make me bring up the accident."

"Ugh!" I threw my hands in the air and headed towards the living room, thoroughly fed up with both of them. I skulked, folding my arms across my chest with a huff, and tried to look as angry as possible. However, when I realized that neither Charlie nor Edward had followed me, I headed back into the kitchen, abashed at my outburst.

Edward smiled at my return and turned back to Charlie. "My father has also set up an appointment for Bella tomorrow afternoon."

"An appointment?" Charlie's gratefulness faded and was once again replaced by suspicion. "For what?"

"He has some ideas about what might be causing her sleep issues," Edward explained and sighed. "If it's medically related, my father will find it."

"All right," Charlie replied hesitantly. I could tell he didn't like accepting so much help from the Cullens. Then again, I was pretty sure his distrust was exclusive to Edward. "I'll make sure to write you a note, Bells."

"Okay," I said and nodded, realizing that there was no way I was getting out of seeing Carlisle. The thought of Edward's pseudo-father asking personal questions was just…weird.

As the seconds ticked by, the silence became excruciatingly palpable, and I realized that Charlie was expecting Edward to leave. It was even more obvious when Charlie cleared his throat and inclined his head towards the door. Thanks for the subtlety, Dad. Glaring scathingly at my father, I guided Edward to the door and hugged him tightly.

"Will I see you tonight?" I whispered, since Charlie was standing at the edge of the hall.

"Of course," he responded and kissed me softly, much to Charlie's displeasure. "If you want me, that is."

"I always want you," I muttered and bit my bottom lip, feeling the same tension rise between us.

Edward bid his goodbyes to me and a glowering Charlie, before heading out the door. I sighed and headed into the kitchen, feeling somewhat famished from my long day at school. Unfortunately, after getting a snack, I realized that I was under the speculative stare of my father. He was no doubt curious as to why I was home so early, and the smug look on his face told me he assumed I was mad at Edward.

"So, I wasn't expecting you so soon, Bells," Charlie said, voicing the curiosity within him, and leaned against the kitchen door frame. "Did you two have a fight?"

I scoffed and turned to him. "No, Dad, we didn't have a fight—Edward just needed to speak with his family about something."

"Hey, I'm just wondering," Charlie answered and threw his hands up defensively. "As I said, I wasn't expecting you, is all."

"Uh huh." I nodded, not buying his fake innocence, and proceeded to eat my sandwich.

"Uh, Bells," Charlie said, his tone suddenly losing its sardonic twist. "Look, I'm not entirely comfortable with you being here alone tonight."

The first thought that crossed my mind was spending the night at Edward's. The previous summer, I had stayed over quiet frequently and it had never been an issue with Charlie. However, that was before Jasper had attempted to take a snap at me and Edward had left to keep me safe, putting me in a near constant coma. Since then, I was fairly certain that he wouldn't go for me spending the night at their home.

"I guess I could invite Alice over tonight," I said offhandedly, like it wasn't something that I wanted more than anything. Alice would tell me what was going on, something Edward never did. There were no secrets between her and I. "I don't think she has anything to do."

"Two teenage girls alone?" Charlie's tone told me that it wouldn't fly. "I don't think so—what about Billy's? You haven't been there in awhile, and I know Jake would love to see you."

Oh…so that's what this is about.

"Dad, I don't think that would work," I responded, chagrined, and pushed away from the table.

"Oh, come on," Charlie responded as I cleaned up my dishes and grabbed my backpack. He touched my shoulder as I attempted to push past him, and I stopped. "Jake's going through a tough time right now—something I think you can relate to. Don't you think you owe it to him to make an effort?"

"I think you're a little out the loop," I answered and shook my head. "I have been trying to make an effort…remember? The notes?"

"But you stopped," Charlie pointed out.

"Yeah, because I wasn't getting any response," I sighed and shrugged lightly, not really appreciating the direction this conversation had taken. I get that he didn't trust Edward, and even acknowledged that he had a good reason not to. However, I'd made it perfectly clear that I wasn't interested in Jake, so why did he continue to push? "Look, I'm going upstairs—do you want me to stay at the Cullens or stay here alone?"

I was driving a hard bargain, and I knew it. However, I was sick and tired of his underhanded tactics to get Jake back in my life. My former best friend had made it abundantly clear that he was not interested in being friends. So, I had done my best to cut him off. As Charlie acquiesced to whatever decision I made, I headed upstairs and threw my worn out body on my bed.

The exhaustive numbness spread through my appendages like a wild fire, and my eyes began to flutter. Not only was I physically tired, I was spent mentally and emotionally, as well.

I loved Edward, which was never up for consideration, but sometimes I disliked the inequality in our relationship. Trying to get him to include me was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone at times—it was impossible. True, he had gotten much better than before—but I still wished that he saw me as an equal…that he trusted me enough.

As I lay back on my bed, I allowed my eyes to close and, after a few minutes, I fell into unconsciousness.

**Author's Note: These chapters are not going through a beta. I do not need any comments telling me what I already know. This is your warning: these chapters are going to have punctuation and grammar mistakes… I'm really not trying to be rude, but I want to clarify what's to be expected from this story. I removed this story due to a plagiarism incident. I am now reposting it. :)