GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEEEEEV-EN-IIIINNNGGG!!
THIS is it, this is not a test, this is your DJ Dibsthe1 at radio station K-RMA, rockin' you from the earth to the far reaches of the universe! Where the Circle of Karma spins faster than the CDs, bitin' wrongdoers in theeeeeDONKEY! 'Cause we still can't say "ass" on the radio!
I don't own Invader Zim and I don't own karma; one belongs to Buddha and one belongs tooo The Enlightened One!
You just heard a request from ManosHands and a friend... who both wanted to hear Baby Gazzee scream and wet herself! I never had Tak on here before; that was part of the request! Hope you liked it!
Next, a request from ZimsMostLoyalServant! I've got something here that'll fill that, I could swear I left it in here on my hard drive somewhere... (sounds of clatters and thumps) And here it IS! I've still got it, but you knew that the whole time didn't you! It's just a bit dusty though... (Blowing across the mike, followed by a few loud fake sneezes and coughs).
I wasn't going to put this one on until later, much later, you'll figure out why as soon as it starts, oh, but you know how it is, when somebody asks you... POLITELYYY! YES! Ay, you know what I MEEEEEAAAAN... !
The End of The World
Dib almost slept through the end of the world.
At around four in the afternoon, he finally pulled himself free of the mattress. An intense first year had concluded with a week of intense exams, followed up by an even more intense night out with his lab buddies. Before standing up now, he steadied himself on the edge of the bed, waiting for the room to stop swaying and trying to figure out just how sick he felt.
Thanks to daylight savings time the light hadn't yet started to fade, so Dib carefully avoided looking at the the windows. He pulled on a bathrobe before heading to the kitchen. His roommate was nowhere to be seen; he must have gone out some time earlier. Knowing him, he was already searching for a summer job. He would have a far better chance, Dib thought wryly, if he at least gave himself time to recover from the night out first.
Upon awakening, Dib usually reached for two things together, the radio and his breakfast. However the lingering effects of the previous night made him wince just to look at the radio, and while he was in no immediate danger of throwing up, his stomach was definitely not up to handling solid food. Instead, Dib turned on the water to prepare the preferred remedy for what was ailing him.
The residence was quiet, unusually quiet. Dib was thankful; he wasn't hearing sounds as much as he was feeling them. He rubbed his temples, trying to ease the stabbing ache.
Even the gentle bubbling of the percolating coffee sent short but firm probes into his skull. At least Gaz wasn't here to run and turn her stereo on full blast the second she saw he had a hangover. Dib sighed just the same. He had never been able to figure out what had filled her with such vicious malice towards him; never had he made a point of doing any such things to her. Even now, in their late teens, things between them had improved very little if at all.
At any rate, he had escaped, and was now at college. Instead of spiteful, ignorant classmates who gloated over his every misfortune, Dib now rejoiced in the company of his true peers, intelligent people who had outgrown most of their infantile sadism and who even shared some of his interests. Life after high skool had indeed become every bit as good as the anti-bullying websites had assured him it would.
He had even finally figured out just how inept Zim actually was. Oh, he continued searching for someone who would believe Zim was an alien, but at least now he did so without terror that the fate of the earth itself hung in the balance. Even doing that much would take a lower priority until he completed his degree in astrophysics.
When his coffee was finally ready Dib poured himself a cup, and after a few sips, cautiously tried turning his head to directly face the window; by this time of the afternoon, the sun had moved to the other side of the building. The kitchen window on the second floor offered Dib a view of the entire quad. Oddly, it was completely deserted, as if some major event had been scheduled for the other side of town that day and Dib alone had forgotten it. Frowning slightly, he took another sip.
When the first people ran past the building Dib at first thought it was just some guys whose last exam had been scheduled even later than his own. One of them glanced back and began to run even faster. When still more people followed them, equally frantic, Dib figured this could only be yet another school shooting. "Oh, no," he groaned. "Not here too!"
Looking past the quad, Dib now saw the street was even more full of frantically running people. He lowered his coffee mug to the table and stood up. Whatever this was, it was big.
When the dark shadow began drifting up over the quad, Dib thought, Oh my God a - No; tornados don't act that way...
Then he saw what was drifting down.
The perfectly round edge of a spaceship, a gigantic spaceship, a gigantic metallic-grey spaceship with glowing rim lights and bizarre, random markings, began sliding down the window...
He left coffee on the floor and the door swinging.
--
Such words as terror or panic were too weak.
It was a full-scale blitzkreig unfolding in slow motion, only worse, far, far worse...
Street after street clogged with rivers of people, people people running madly like they did in those hokey old monster movies from the 1950s only this was no movie...
People running over others who had fallen; injured people reaching up hands frantically begging for help only to be trampled by the mindless mob like they weren't even alive...
Cars plowing through the torrents of people only to slam into the traffic pileups at the intersections, grown men and women all but leaping out the windows abandoning red-faced children screaming helplessly...
Spaceships, cloud behind looming cloud of spaceships shooting rays of unworldly light at building after building, and building after building swaying, then buckling and crumbling... Dust pouring down all over everything mingling with the smoke from the fires and the flying splinters of glass and that light, that weird, glowing ungodly light, bright as a blowtorch against the growing darkness...
Some people fled to the park to hide... despite trees on fire, metal statues on fire, and somehow, impossibly, the very lake itself on fire but nobody noticing it...
And through it all Dib stumbled, barefoot and numb, eyes glazed and unseeing, mumbling over and over in a daze, "... now... do you believe me... now... do you... do you believe me... now... "
--
Something guided Dib through his worst nightmare come true, guided him through the swarming streets, clogged with dust and smoke and stripped of recognizable landmarks; something guided him back to his childhood home.
He found it still standing, though with half the roof gone, and burst in through what remained of the front door. Smoke hung everywhere; the house lay in ruins. "Dad! Gaz!" Only then did Dib see his father's body lying crumpled across the coffee table, the couch and carpet sodden with blood.
"YOU FUCKING GET IN HERE NOW!" came Gaz's shriek from the next room.
Dib leapt to the kitchen, and found Gaz rather effectively holding off a gun-weilding alien of some sort, messing up its aim by hurling one kitchen appliance after another at it.
The only thing Dib could tell about the creature was that it wasn't Irken.
The second she noticed Dib however, Gaz completely forgot about throwing anything; instantly she ducked under the table and pointed straight at him.
"Don't hurt me, take my brother! He's the one you want! I'm just a little girl!"
Just as Dib grabbed a toaster and prepared to aim it, the alien had him in its sights; Dib's brain fried, his heart exploded and his lungs ruptured all in the same second and he fell flat on his back in a spreading lake of blood, arms spread wide.
Spectacular though it was, Dib's death was instant, and completely painless.
--
Aliens dragged, shoved, and drove survivors of the attack onto the ship after ship, cramming them into lightless, cavernous slave holds reeking with blood and feces, throbbing with echoes of crying, screaming, cursing, praying, and most terrifying of all, laughter... wild, hysterical laughter...
No one dared guess to what fate they were headed.
As never before in human history, the living truly envied the dead.
Just before she was shoved into the hold, Gaz turned to try one last time to fight her way free. The nearest alien twisted her around, slamming her up against the wall with her face against one of the ports. She heard metal scrape metal and a dull hum, followed by the sensation of motion. Instantly, faster than from any airplane, the ground fell away.
The last human to behold the earth watched through the port as it grew steadily smaller far below. The vast clouds of alien ships surrounding the earth began peeling away from it to follow the rest of the fleet. As the clouds thinned, giant explosions suddenly blossomed on its surface, one after another and another; slowly the earth fell to pieces like a gigantic Christmas ornament. Its molten middle blazed furiously for half a moment, then swiftly faded even blacker than the surrounding space. The home of humans and all known living things was now visible only as a rapidly dwindling spot in space, a spot through which no stars shone.
The earth was no more.