Hylian Lampoon's
Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Part 1: The Early Years
Starring:
Mike Myers as Young Link
Chevy Chase as Ganondorf
Rowan Atkinson as Edison
Weird Al Yankovic as Navi
Amanda Bynes as Young Zelda
James Earl Jones as Deku Tree
Gary Coleman and Taj Mowry as Deku Scrubs Aragog as Gohma
Badabadabadabadabadabadabada. Tap, tap tap. Door openy sound.
"Well, what did you come up with? Got any new ideas for wreaking havoc on the citizens and overthrowing the ruling class?"
"Um, how about we tell everyone but the royal family that tomorrow is officially Rock Opera Day and everyone is to act as if the entire day is a rock opera?"
"Very good idea, but I'll save that for later."
"Why, sir?"
"Haven't memorized the score of Jesus Christ Superstar yet. I'm all the way up to "Could We Start Again, Please". Ganondorf picked up a songbook and began studying it feverishly.
"Then, how about we serve ziti at a Mexican resturaunt?"
"I don't quite understand how that could be bad."
"Well, nobody really likes ziti, and besides, it's Italian. Ooh, new songbooks. Can I see? The Who's Tommy! I like The Who!"
Ganondorf looked impatiently at his assistant.
"Please. I like ziti. I find it finger-licking good. And nobody but me touches my collection of The Who. Now come up with another idea."
"Well, how about we conquer Hyrule using the Triforce? Then you'd be king of everything, and ruin the species of the land one by one!"
"It's so crazy, it just might work." Ganondorf stood up. "From this day forward, the world shall be MINE! Oh, and Edison, could you pass me the songbook? I'm just about to my favorite solo. See meeee. feeeelll meeee. touch meeee. heal meeeeeeeeee." he sang, loudly and offkey.
We'll leave this horrible scene on this horrible note.
Far away from here, in an undisclosed location only known as Kokori Forest, a little elf-boy named Link was chilling in his treehouse bedroom, doing what all little elf-boys do when they chill in their treehouse bedrooms.
"'Cause I'm T-N-T! I'm dynamite! T-N-T, and I'll win the fight! T-N- T, I'm a power load! T-N-T! Watch me exploooooooode! Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!"
You might gather from this that all Kokori elves liked AC-DC, but you'd be wrong. They just all liked to play Tony Hawk, though their favorite was number three. Link was the only one who actually liked AC-DC, the Sex Pistols, System of a Down, or any other metal bands appearing in THPS4. He was a hard rocking kind of little elf-guy. And oddly enough, that was just what the Deku Tree wanted.
"Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, you son of a."
"Okay, I hear you! Where are you , and who are you?"
"My name's Navi, I'm a fairy, and I'm right behind you , you little piece of."
"Whoah! For a little pink fairy, you got a sailor mouth. Awesome. Let's have a sing-along! Twisted Sister time! We're not gonna take it!"
"NO!"
"We're not gonna take it! We're not gonna take it anymore!!!! Excellent timing on that war cry, little glowing thing!"
"Link, you fool! I wasn't singing!"
"Then who was? Is there somebody else in the room? Ozzy Osbourne maybe?"
"No! I wasn't singing, I was yelling at you to stop! The great Deku Tree wants to see us!"
"Oh, that old fart. I remember him. He yelled at me when my music was too loud for his little pansy ears. Is he dead?"
"Almost. We've got to get to him before it's too late. There's an evil power afoot in Hyrule. His name is Ganondorf, and he's the Prince of Darkness."
"This keeps on getting more awesome every second. Ozzy Osbourne in Hyrule?"
"No. This guy is really the Prince of Darkness. He's an evil sorceror who's plotted for twenty years to take over Hyrule. If he succeeds now, the Princess and her family will die for sure."
Link's pointy little ears pricked up at the sound of the word Princess. "Princess? I have to rescue a princess? Then there's money involved. and maybe more. Is this Princess chick hot?"
Navi thought for a moment. The Princess was anything but hot. "Umm, yes. She's a. total babe. A chickzilla. Whatever. So are you in?"
"Excellent!"
"Now that you're in, I've got a present for you. Take this sword and shield, courtesy of Princess Zelda."
LINK OBTAINED: DEKU SWORD!
LINK OBTAINED: KOKORI SHIELD!
"Okay. So what do I do now?"
"Just follow me. I think the Deku Tree had some sort of Bug problem for you to take care of."
Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Part 1: The Early Years
Starring:
Mike Myers as Young Link
Chevy Chase as Ganondorf
Rowan Atkinson as Edison
Weird Al Yankovic as Navi
Amanda Bynes as Young Zelda
James Earl Jones as Deku Tree
Gary Coleman and Taj Mowry as Deku Scrubs Aragog as Gohma
Badabadabadabadabadabadabada. Tap, tap tap. Door openy sound.
"Well, what did you come up with? Got any new ideas for wreaking havoc on the citizens and overthrowing the ruling class?"
"Um, how about we tell everyone but the royal family that tomorrow is officially Rock Opera Day and everyone is to act as if the entire day is a rock opera?"
"Very good idea, but I'll save that for later."
"Why, sir?"
"Haven't memorized the score of Jesus Christ Superstar yet. I'm all the way up to "Could We Start Again, Please". Ganondorf picked up a songbook and began studying it feverishly.
"Then, how about we serve ziti at a Mexican resturaunt?"
"I don't quite understand how that could be bad."
"Well, nobody really likes ziti, and besides, it's Italian. Ooh, new songbooks. Can I see? The Who's Tommy! I like The Who!"
Ganondorf looked impatiently at his assistant.
"Please. I like ziti. I find it finger-licking good. And nobody but me touches my collection of The Who. Now come up with another idea."
"Well, how about we conquer Hyrule using the Triforce? Then you'd be king of everything, and ruin the species of the land one by one!"
"It's so crazy, it just might work." Ganondorf stood up. "From this day forward, the world shall be MINE! Oh, and Edison, could you pass me the songbook? I'm just about to my favorite solo. See meeee. feeeelll meeee. touch meeee. heal meeeeeeeeee." he sang, loudly and offkey.
We'll leave this horrible scene on this horrible note.
Far away from here, in an undisclosed location only known as Kokori Forest, a little elf-boy named Link was chilling in his treehouse bedroom, doing what all little elf-boys do when they chill in their treehouse bedrooms.
"'Cause I'm T-N-T! I'm dynamite! T-N-T, and I'll win the fight! T-N- T, I'm a power load! T-N-T! Watch me exploooooooode! Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay!"
You might gather from this that all Kokori elves liked AC-DC, but you'd be wrong. They just all liked to play Tony Hawk, though their favorite was number three. Link was the only one who actually liked AC-DC, the Sex Pistols, System of a Down, or any other metal bands appearing in THPS4. He was a hard rocking kind of little elf-guy. And oddly enough, that was just what the Deku Tree wanted.
"Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, you son of a."
"Okay, I hear you! Where are you , and who are you?"
"My name's Navi, I'm a fairy, and I'm right behind you , you little piece of."
"Whoah! For a little pink fairy, you got a sailor mouth. Awesome. Let's have a sing-along! Twisted Sister time! We're not gonna take it!"
"NO!"
"We're not gonna take it! We're not gonna take it anymore!!!! Excellent timing on that war cry, little glowing thing!"
"Link, you fool! I wasn't singing!"
"Then who was? Is there somebody else in the room? Ozzy Osbourne maybe?"
"No! I wasn't singing, I was yelling at you to stop! The great Deku Tree wants to see us!"
"Oh, that old fart. I remember him. He yelled at me when my music was too loud for his little pansy ears. Is he dead?"
"Almost. We've got to get to him before it's too late. There's an evil power afoot in Hyrule. His name is Ganondorf, and he's the Prince of Darkness."
"This keeps on getting more awesome every second. Ozzy Osbourne in Hyrule?"
"No. This guy is really the Prince of Darkness. He's an evil sorceror who's plotted for twenty years to take over Hyrule. If he succeeds now, the Princess and her family will die for sure."
Link's pointy little ears pricked up at the sound of the word Princess. "Princess? I have to rescue a princess? Then there's money involved. and maybe more. Is this Princess chick hot?"
Navi thought for a moment. The Princess was anything but hot. "Umm, yes. She's a. total babe. A chickzilla. Whatever. So are you in?"
"Excellent!"
"Now that you're in, I've got a present for you. Take this sword and shield, courtesy of Princess Zelda."
LINK OBTAINED: DEKU SWORD!
LINK OBTAINED: KOKORI SHIELD!
"Okay. So what do I do now?"
"Just follow me. I think the Deku Tree had some sort of Bug problem for you to take care of."