Amid and Beyond
1.
Taken
I attentively gazed out the raindrops fell heavily from the gray sky, the rain pounded on the small window I was looking out of, I soon resumed to writing in my brand new journal. I hurried to my desk and pondered on what to write. I decided to write a autobiography, though searching through my millions of memories were abit diffcult. But luckily there were several memories that vividly stood out in my mind. It all started when I was only six years old, it was a bright, sunny afternoon. The sunshine gleamed through my small bedroom window, making a pretty hue color. But I was too occupied to notice, I peeked my head out my half opened door cautionly. I jumped, startled when I heard my Father's booming voice. Fear began to spread to my legs causing them to shiver. I quickly retreated to my closet, but clearly I wasn't swift enough as my Father jerk my closet door open. " " Come on, you spoiled brat!" My Father then grabbed my brown hair as I struggled like a fish on a hook. He ignored my struggling and began to drag me out of my bedroom. "Stop kicking, you little slut!" I winced at the harshness and intensity of his voice. But I quickly began to fight back regardless. Despite my struggles, my 30 pounds body weight was nothing to my Father. At one point I'm flunged onto my Father's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I quickly realized my efforts were in vain and let the frightened tears pour down my face. " Daddy, LET ME GO!" I pleaded. But my cries fell into deaf ears. Father carried me downstair when I saw a glance of my Mother in the living room. She laid idly on the couch, I was about to scream for help when I glanced at the coffee table. There laid a plastic bag of black powdery substance and a syringe. At that point, I decided to stay slient. My Mother was in her own little world where she stared blankly into nothing. "What did I do?" I wailed vehemently. Father responded with carrying me sliently into the basement. The air felt tense in the dimly lit room, Father turned on the lights. There in the room laid Father's laboratory, tables stacked with beakers and chemicals. Father suddenly grabbed my chin roughly forcing me to look him in the face. Apprehension took over my body, my legs shivering and heart racing. " I saw you coming down here, Robin! I told you never to go into Daddy's workplace." His voice was aggressive and menacing. I gazed into his eyes that was devoided of any warmth or gentleness. My Father was almost never like this, he was always kind and loving to me. But there are times when I think he is dangerous, exploding with fury over the smallest things. " I didn't mean to!" I explained. " The ball I was playing with rolled down here!" Father's eyes burned into mine, " Yeah right, you think I'm stupid? You were sticking your nose in my business." He growled. I instantly shook my head, " It was just an accident!" I replied. Father released my chin and a moment of slience came upon us. I braced myself, expecting a crack on the face. Eventually my prediction came true, BAM! I honestly wasn't sure if I was punched or slapped across the face. But either way a brute force cracked me, it was so fast I didn't even see it. Next thing I know I'm on my back with Father storming up the stairs, leaving me there. My left cheek began to burn with agony, I struggled to pick myself up. When I finally regained my balance, a faucet of tears pour down my face. I was so shocked from Father's sudden episode. I jumped startled when the front door slammed loudly. Hoping my Father left, I hobbled upstairs and into the living room. I gazed at my Mother who was still in her own world. I crepted towards her, making sure she wasn't turned on her back. Last thing I wanted was to see her choke from the heroin. When I realized she was on her back, I quickly pushed her on her side. She was fast asleep, or at least just had her eyes closed. I didn't want to cry to my Mother, she never did anything for me. Besides in her state right now, comfort and love is the last thing I'll recieve from her. I winced in disgust of the bag of heroin and quickly put them in the draws of the coffee table. I struggled to forget what just happened and hurried into the kitchen. I didn't know how to cook on the stove or oven, so I settled for a plain peanut butter and jelly sandwich. An hour later, the doorbell suddenly ranged. I postitoned a foot stool from the kitchen by the front door, I peeked in the peekhole to see my Aunt Mae and Uncle Jared on the porch. I quickly opened the door, Aunt Mae lit up at the sight of seeing me. She gave me a big grin as she embraced me warmly. " Hi, Robin. How you been doing, sweetie?" She asked softly. I didn't feel like answering, so I simply shrugged. Aunt Mae let out a light chuckle. " Bored, huh?" I quietly nodded and hurried into the kitchen. " Want something to eat? Mom's out of it." I shouted. Aunt Mae stepped into the kitchen with Uncle Jared. " Hey, what happened to your cheek?" Aunt Mae asked, concerned. Aunt Mae pushed her black bangs out her flashing green eyes. " Nothing, I bumped into a wall." I lied. Uncle Jared grinned. " Guess Little Miss. Klutz is still around!" He stepped towards me and playfully rustled my hair. I gave him a small smile. " It's so great to see you again. I haven't seen you in years." Uncle said, he pushed a strand of light hair from his face. " Thanks, it's nice to see you again." I said softly. It was true, having my Aunt and Uncle made me feel safe. I haven't seen them in at least two years, but I was always close to them. They had no clue of my parents's sercets, they almost never visit and my parents always kept quiet. " Hey where's your Daddy?" Uncle asked.
" Out." I said curt. " Bet he's getting ice cream for you, Princess!" Uncle chuckled. I just sliently shrugged again. Uncle stared at me for a moment before going to the dining table. " Little young to make your meal?" Aunt Mae commented. " I bet you're gonna get more bony with meals like this." I scowled at the floor, " I'm not bony." I whimpered. " Well either way, I'm going to pick up something to eat." Aunt Mae delcared. She headed out the kitchen and made her way out the front door. Seconds later, I hear a car engine come alive and drive off. Uncle Jared looked down at me, " You look tired. Time for a nap." He ordered. I shook my head, scowling. " I'm too old for naps." I replied. Uncle tugged my light blue sleeve and pointed up stairs. " Come on." With that, my Uncle led me upstairs to my room. " I'm seriously not tired." I whined. I was then shocked when Jared closed the door behind him. I wasn't sure why I was shocked by that, but I ignored it and crawled it into bed. Guess I have no choice. I thought annoyed. I watched in slience as my Uncle Jared walked towards me, eyes narrows. There was strange tension in the room, I didn't understand what it was. " It's so nice to see you again." Jared whispered in a husky voice. I sat at the edge of my bed, I suddenly feel my Uncle's cold hand upon my leg. He began to rub my leg and began to move up. He was utterly slient. At first I was confused, not understanding what was happening. A wave of uneasiness hit me. " What are you doing?" I asked in a small voice. " Nothing. Just nothing." Jared whispered nonchalantly. His hand continued to inch further, and my uneasiness turned into fear. " Please, stop!" I begged, backing away away from him. " Calm down, just calm down." He coaxed calmly. I begin to tremble like a leaf in a storm, I inched away from Jared quickly. " I don't wanna calm down! Leave me alone!" I hissed, forcing my voice to be loud and bold. Jared grabbed my arm in a gentle way and gazed at me warmly. " It's alright. I'm sorry, okay? Don't tell, Robin." I was still perplexed over everything, I didn't want to speak to him. So I solmenly nodded. " You promise you won't tell? Because if you do..'' He paused his threat and cautionly peeked out my door. I held my breath as he turned to me. " Just keep your mouth shut!" He suddenly lost his lighthearted demeanor and glared at me. Soon he disappeared into the hallway. I felt tears building up in my eyes, I didn't know what happened was sexual. Never once have I ever been touched before. My mind was glued on what just happened and my Father episode went into the back of my little mind. To this day, I never understood what triggered on what just happened. But it haunted me for sure, the bits of innocence I had seemed to vanish. I didn't take a nap or play with tiny amount of toys. Instead I laid on my bed, petrified to leave my room. The sunlight danced in my room, briefly removing the darkness that surrounded within my bedroom.
On that day forth, my story began..