The Perks of being a House Husband
Summary: "Wolf-Pack Saga AU" If you had asked Butch Jojo about where he saw himself in his mid-thirties, chances are he wouldn't have said: "A stay at home Dad."
Authors note: A belated birthday gift to the amazing Carriedreamer! Hope you had a wonderful day darling, and I hope you enjoy this little one-shot!
Takes place in one of her amazing AU's "The Wolf-Pack Saga." It includes her stories "Hate" (Reds centered) and "The Thing" (Greens centered, unfinished, and takes place several years after "Hate.") Though this story takes place several years after "The Thing" itself.
Confusing AU timeline rant over. If you haven't read, "Hate" or "The Thing" yet, go read them, or you may be rather confused as to what's going on. XD
Special appearance from Carrie's own Green child: Bart, who made his first appearance in "Baby Mine" and then officially in "Clarity." (Different AU, I know, but I HAD to) As soon as I read about the little guy, I just had to include him in this. It was destiny. (Again if you haven't read either of those stories, go and read them also, they are fantastic!)
Bart doesn't belong to me and rightfully belongs to Carriedreamer. The Powerpuff Girls don't belong to me either, and as always, they have human appendages.
The Greens are somewhere in their mid-thirties.
"Daddy… daddy."
Butch let out a sleepy groan as he felt a tiny body crawl into his messy bed, and up to his hulking muscular frame.
Letting out another groan, Butch tried to roll over in the bed without opening his eyes, resulting in the small intruder letting out a squeak of protest as he was almost crushed by the powerful body. Butch still didn't open his eyes as he felt the smaller being climb on top of him and pause for a moment.
Butch let out a sigh. Maybe if he didn't open his eyes and pretended like he was still asleep; the little demon would leave-
Two tiny hands slapped against his face suddenly, making his forest green eyes snap open in surprise. A round of giggles from the little meta-human sitting on top of him, forced a rough, sleepy grin onto his face, as he glanced up into the beaming face of his four-year-old son.
His and Buttercup Utoni- no, Jojo's, four-year old son.
Buttercup… His wife. This was their son – they made this together.
Buttercup, his tattooed, geologist, jungle adventuring wife. Fuck if she wasn't the hottest thing on two legs.
The scared man glanced around the bedroom as he blinked away sleep. This was their house, and their shared master bedroom – only for the time being it was mainly his, as Buttercup spent half the year down in South America with her geo team. Currently she was in Peru, going through old ruins and mapping the area around it.
Currently she had been gone for the past four months.
Christ he missed her.
Butch grunted as he redirected his attention back to the miniature version of himself – fuck the kid was adorable. He still couldn't believe he had helped make something so cute.
"Hiya daddy!" Bart grinned, as he removed his hands from his father's chiselled face, letting another round of giggles pass though his lips.
"'Sup champ?" Butch yawned as he reached up to ruffle his kid's unruly black hair, that matched his own bed-head. "You're up early today."
The small child shrugged his equally small shoulders. "Couldn't sleep." He muttered, before throwing himself forward and catching Butch in a hug. Butch chuckled lowly as he proceeded to wrap a muscular arm around his son, sitting up in bed as he did so.
"Was one of Grandma's demon familiars waving at you from the closet again?" he asked as he risked a glance towards his and Buttercup's shared closet – half expecting to see a hellish looking creature peering back at him. Thankfully (for the demon) nothing was there.
Bart simply nodded as he buried his head into his father's broad shoulder, causing Butch to sigh.
"You know they won't hurt you right bud? Grandma just likes to make sure his favourite grandson his safe – he sends them to check on your cousins as well." Butch tried to comfort him as he rubbed his back, slowly getting up from his massive king-sized bed.
"I know. But this one was really ugly." Bart muttered. "It wouldn't stop staring at me, and it had this stupid grin on its face. It was so creepy."
"Well next time we see Grandma HIM I'll be sure to bring it up ok?" Butch soothed as he set his son down on the dark wood floor. "Pretty sure Uncle Brick had the same problem…"
"Yeah?" Bart asked, as his feet touched the cold bedroom floor. "Why?"
"Because Grandma is really fucken' weird kiddo, don't ask me why. He's been like that since I was your age."
Butch had given up a long time ago about trying to cut back his colourful language around his son, thankfully Buttercup felt roughly the same way as he did – though she didn't do it near as often – and was quick to remind him about swearing in front of Bart when her sisters were over visiting.
Seriously. Blossom would have a heart-attack. Bubbles wouldn't be far behind.
Butch bit back a smirk as he thought about his sisters-in-laws. They were good girls, great wives to his brothers, and fantastic mothers to their children, but he was so glad that his Buttercup was a bit more relaxed then they were.
Bart detached himself from Butch's grasp and bolted towards the bedroom door, pausing in the door-way to grin at his father. "I'm hungry dad. Can we have breakfast?"
"Yeah kid, what do you want?" Butch responded as he cracked his back before rising.
"I don't know." Bart shrugged his tiny shoulders again. "Well then let's go to the kitchen and you can figure out what you want." Butch responded as he slowly made his way towards the door, electing a small cheer out of his son as he bolted down the hallway, leaving Butch to follow him, grinning lightly as followed the small boy out into the hallway.
Butch felt his forest green eyes soften as he allowed a genuine smile to tip the corners of his mouth up as he slowly followed Bart down the staircase and onto the main floor, leading into the kitchen.
If you had asked Butch Jojo about where he saw himself in his mid-thirties, chances are he wouldn't have said: "A stay at home Dad."
And yet, there he was: a stay at home dad.
Raising his four-year-old son, while his wife spent more than half the year traversing in Peru, mapping out the landscape with her geology team.
And truthfully, if you asked him – he wouldn't have it any other way.
For the first time in his long – and at some points – very shitty life, he was blissfully content with where he was.
He had a sick house, owned his own gym (The Green's Jungle – bad-ass name, for a bad-ass gym) the hottest woman in the world was his wife, and to top it off – he had an awesome kid with said hot woman.
It had taken a lot of begging and pleading on his behalf (and maybe an expired condom) but in the end, Buttercup had caved and a year later, out popped Bartholomew "Bart" Jojo.
Butch stifled a chuckle as he followed his kid into the kitchen. Bart was a monster of a baby when he was first introduced into the world. Eleven and a half pounds. (The kid wasn't even fat for Christ's sake!) He must have broken a record somewhere. Had to. Butch still currently held the bragging rights to having the biggest Ruff baby, and he didn't plan on giving that title up anytime soon.
Hell, it was worth the numerous threats that Buttercup had made on his life while in the delivery room, including the bones she had all but pulverised in his hand.
Oh yeah. Definitely worth it.
And he didn't even need the help of drugged mash potatoes to make his first-born son either…
"Daddy can you make pancakes?"
"Hrm?" Butch's head snapped up to meet his son's bright green eyes as the smaller version of him leapt up into one of the bar chairs lined up along the dark marble counter top that lined the kitchen. "Isn't it Tuesday? Your mom told me not to make you pancakes until the weekend."
"But mommy isn't here." Bart pointed out with a crooked grin that mirrored his own.
Butch bit back a laugh as he took in his trade-mark grin that was mirrored perfectly on the face of his offspring. The kid had his mom's eyes, but damn it all to hell, he was turning into a carbon copy of him every day.
"Ah what the hell, sure kiddo. What mommy doesn't know won't hurt her." Butch chuckled as he headed into the kitchen to look for pancake mix, ruffling Bart's messy onyx hair as he passed him. "You're lucky I'm the one taking care of the home-front kiddo, because mommy – as much as I love her – can't cook for shit."
The statement earned him a small laugh out of his kid, "I know." Bart confirmed. "She tries, but her pancakes aren't as good as yours."
"Damn right they're not." Butch agreed as he pulled the pan used to make pancakes out of one of the drawers near the stove.
"I'm not making you pancakes every day though, so don't think that this is going to become a common thing. Fuck if I'm going to raise a kid that's obese."
"That means overweight right daddy?"
"That's right kiddo."
"I'm not, right?
"'Corse not. You're all lean muscle like mommy. If you were, I'd just make you work full time at daddy's gym."
"I like your gym though!" Bart responded with a grin as he spun himself around in the bar stool as he waited for his pancakes.
"I know you do champ, that's because you don't have to follow rules there, and because you're hyperactive, just like your old man – something that your friggen Kindergarten teacher can't seem to understand." Butch growled as he rooted though the cabinets, searching for the pancake mix, as he was brought back to the last time he had met his son's teacher.
Parent-teacher interviews had coincidentally happened when Buttercup was home for a few months' in-between her trips, and had insisted on dragging Butch there with her.
It was there, Butch had the misfortune of meeting Bart's kindergarten teacher – a woman who he was convinced had a ten-foot poll shoved up her ass.
After a legendary verbal exchange (that involved a fair amount of profanity from his part) occurred between the brutal male and the old witch, Buttercup had absolutely forbidden him from attending another parent teacher interview.
Which was fine by him. Not his fault the old cow didn't understand that his son couldn't sit still for long periods of time, but she didn't have to be such a bitch about it…
"Is mommy supposed to call today?" Bart interrupted his thoughts, snapping him back to the present.
"Yeah champ, she's going to call sometime this morning. Wanna grab the laptop for me? I know she wanted to catch you before I dropped you off to school." Butch responded as he poured the pancake mix into a bowl, pausing to glance at the clock. 7:30am, he still had an hour before he had to take Bart in.
Bart nodded and slid off his bar stool, before disappearing into the adjoining living room with a light green flash… Just like his mom.
Butch shook his head as he pulled one of the pans out from one of the kitchens numerous drawers, before placing it on the stove top and heating it up, just as Bart returned with the laptop, setting it on the counter before passing it to his father so he could sign in.
Butch taped in the password with one hand, using his other to pour the pancake batter into the heated pan, filling the kitchen with the scent of cooking patsy.
"Hey, you got school soon, go get dressed, I'll call you when the pancakes are ready." Butch mumbled to the raven-haired child as he rummaged about the drawers, looking for a spatula. Bart wrinkled his nose in distaste.
"I don't wanna go, can't I just stay with you today?" He pouted, starring up at his father with his big green eyes that were the exact shade of Buttercup's, looking absolutely adorable.
Fuck, it was so hard to say no to him.
"You know I don't care if you go." Butch responded as he glanced down to meet his son's lime green eyes. "I never went. But your mom cares, and she'll throw a fit if she sees I let you stay home too much. Besides, daddy's gotta go manage the gym while you're at school."
"Can't I go manage the gym with you?" Bart protested with a tiny whine.
"Tell you what? You go today and behave yourself on the play-ground and I'll let you come with me on Friday." Butch promised, as he whipped the spatula out from the depths of the drawer. "I don't want to get another call about you hanging some kid upside-down by his shoelaces on the jungle gym."
"He deserved it." Bart muttered, crossing his arms. "He said my hair was weird and spiky."
"Well that kid's a joke. I think your hair is awesome. You got the same kick-ass do as me, so don't you let anyone tell you otherwise." Butch responded as he ruffled his son's soft black spikes. "Now go get dressed, pancakes are almost done."
Bart let out a groan of protest, but catching a look from his scared father told him that he wasn't caving in to his demands to stay home today. The wild four-year-old slowly slid off the bar stool and darted back to his room in a flash of green, leaving Butch to finish making breakfast.
Butch leaned over to grab the t.v. remote with one hand as he utilised the other to flip the pancakes in the pan. Turning on the television to the news channel, he sleepily checked for any traffic blocks or collisions on the free-way, before the tell-tale chime of an incoming Skype call, disrupted his thoughts.
"Shit." Butch hissed as he dropped the remote and flicked off the stove, dropping the pancakes onto a plate for Bart, before darting over to the open laptop to answer the call.
Checking the caller I.D., a genuine smile broke out across his handsome features.
Buttercup.
Clicking on the 'accept' button greeted him to the stunning image of his wife, staring back at him from the other side of the screen.
"Baby…" Butch sighed happily as he rested his chin on the palm of his hands. "Hey you crazy fuck." Buttercup responded with a gentle smile of her own. "Hope I'm not too early. I've been up for most of the night working on a report, so my timing may be a little off."
"Naw, right on time. I have an hour before I have to take Bart in to school." Butch reassured her. "He's going to be so happy. He was mad that he missed you the last time you called. He misses you like crazy."
A tiny frown crossed Buttercup's face and she looked down momentarily. "I miss him too… I wish you boys were here with me. You'd love it down here Butch. You remember when you came with me to Peru for a month a couple of years ago?"
"How could I forget? That was a great vacation. The sex was pretty good too-"
"Shut up dumbass! Bart might hear you-"
"Daddy? Is that mom?"
Buttercup perked up immediately as her son's voice floated down the hallway. "Yeah champ, she's on Skype right now, come say hi." Butch called back. Not a second later, Bart appeared beside him, trademark green streak fading behind him. Butch lifted him up and placed him on the counter by the laptop so Buttercup could see him.
"Mom!" Bart squealed happily, his tiny hands reaching for the dark-haired woman on the screen.
"Hi green bean, mommy misses you. Are you being a good boy for daddy?" Buttercup asked, unable to keep the smile off her face.
"Yeah, I am. I'm doing good in class too! I haven't gotten into a fight in a week!" Bart announced proudly as Butch ruffled his hair.
"Good, I'm proud of you!" Buttercup gently praised him, causing the boys tiny chest to swell with pride. "Good news though, my trip is ending soon, so I'll be seeing you both in a few weeks." Buttercup informed the pair of males.
"Yay! Bart cheered. "Next time when you leave on a trip, can you take me with you? I want to go back to Brazilla!"
"Brazil baby, and yes, next time I'm taking you and your dad with me." Buttercup promised with a gentle smile. "My next trip is supposed to happen in sometime in the summer, so you can come with me next time."
"Can we go to Brazil again?" Bart asked hopefully, staring at his mother with pleading eyes.
"I think the next one I'm going on is to Trinidad, so we can go explore there. How does that sound daddy?" The raven-haired woman asked, lifting her head to glance up at Butch. Said man simply grinned. "We haven't been there yet. Sounds like a good time to me."
"Good." Buttercup nodded before glancing down at her trade-mark watch, redirecting her attention back to Bart. "You have school soon. Did you eat yet?"
"Nope. Daddy made pancakes though." Bart grinned as Buttercup raised an eyebrow at Butch, causing him to shift uncomfortably. "Oh really now? But it's Tuesday-"
"Okay bud, I'm going to wrap the call up now. You go eat. We got to go in a few minutes, say goodbye to mommy." Butch interrupted as he lifted Bart down from the counter, grabbing the plate of pancakes and handing it to his son.
The green-eyed boy shot him a wicked grin as he accepted the plate. "Bye mom. I miss you!" he called back up to the laptop, before taking off into the living room to eat.
"Bye green bean, I miss you more." Buttercup responded as she watched him disappear into the next room. Her smile faltered slightly as she returned her attention back to Butch.
"I miss you both a lot." She admitted. "I feel like a shitty parent sometimes because I'm missing out on a lot of his childhood-"
"Hey," Butch interrupted, "We both agreed that this arrangement works better for us both. You didn't want to give up traveling with your team, and I have the gym to look after anyways. Besides…" he trailed off, looking in the direction where Bart had taken off, forest green eyes softening slightly.
"I don't mind taking care of my own kid. There are perks to being a house husband, you know."
Buttercup smiled softly at her husband, as she absentmindedly traced the tattooed sleeves on her arms, pausing to trace the snail tattooed on her upper arm.
"I know." She confirmed, fidgeting slightly "I miss you."
"Miss you too." Butch sighed, before a wicked grin crossed his handsome features. "I'm expecting a shit-ton of pictures for the gym wall when you come back. My clientele keeps asking when I'm going to post more pictures."
"Well they won't be disappointed. These are probably some of the best pictures I've taken to date." Buttercup confirmed.
"Good, because the first thing I'm doing when you get back is developing them and up-dating the wall… oh and by the way babe…" Butch's voice dropped off into a growl as a sinful look entered his forested eyes.
"When you come back, I've got a new bedroom rug and a bottle of tequila waiting for us." He winked, causing a shudder to run though his wife.
"I can't wait." She murmured as a sexy little grin curled up her lips. "I gotta go, this paper isn't going to do itself. I'll see you in a few weeks." She blew him a playful kiss. "Love you."
"Love you more. See you soon." Butch promised with a soft smile, ending the call.
Straightening up from his hunched position over the kitchen counter, he sent a glance toward the living room clock.
8:15am, he had to get Bart to school, then he'd have to come back and clean up the kitchen…
"Bart? Come on bud, we gotta get you to school." He called into the living room, closing the laptop and turning the t.v. off with the remote, placing the dirtied pancake pan in the sink to be washed later.
"Fiiiiine." The sound of small feet entering the kitchen echoed through the house as Bart placed his dish in the sink next to the pan.
"Kay, you got your bag ready?" a nod. "shoes?" another nod. "lunch?" "I don't know, you made it." Bart replied. "Yup I did, and I put it by the back door last night. So that's good to go." Butch nodded as he ran off his mental checklist, before looking down at himself.
"I gotta go throw on a shirt, can you grab your stuff and the keys? I'll meet you outside."
"Okay dad, Escalade or Harley?"
"Eh, get the Harley, let's have some fun."
His boy smirked at him as he took off to grab his bag and his father's motorcycle keys. Butch matched his smirk as he jogged back to the master bedroom, throwing on a shirt and a pair of combat boots, not bothering to take off his flannel night pants, before jogging back to front door – opening it and pausing momentarily to lock the door behind him.
The jingling of keys got his attention, and he turned to see Bart standing behind him with his backpack and own motorcycle helmet in hand. "Ready dad?"
"Ready." Butch responded as he took the keys from him, sitting down on the bike and starting it – revving the engine a few times to piss off the neighbors.
Bart clipped his own helmet on as he slid in front of Butch, his strong arms caging his child in place and keeping him safe.
Butch revved the engine once more before roaring out of the driveway and down the subdivision road towards the elementary school.
The short drive there was quiet as Butch pulled up to the school, earning a few looks from nearby parents, as he set the bike in park.
Straddling the bike to keep it upright, Butch took Bart's helmet off, and held his bag for him while he slid off the bike, Turing around to accept his bag from his father.
"So I'll see you at 3:00 then?" Butch asked with a small smile, Bart nodded. "I'll see you at 3:00 pops." He turned around to leave only for Butch to call him back with a sharp "Hey."
Balancing the bike between his legs, Butch awkwardly bent down with his arms outstretched. "Where's my hug?"
Bart grinned broadly before throwing his smaller body into his arms, squeezing his father's broad torso tightly. "Love you dad."
"Love you too Bart." Butch gave him a final squeeze before pushing him towards the school. "Behave, I'll see you in a couple of hours. "
Bart just shot him a wicked grin before he bolted off towards the school's front doors in a flash of lime green, leaving Butch alone outside.
The brutal male sat back with a small smile as he watched his son disappear though the doors, before starting up his Harley again and taking off out of the school's parking lot, back towards home.
If you had asked Butch Jojo about where he saw himself in his mid-thirties, chances are he wouldn't have said: "a house husband" – one who was put in charge of taking care of the home-front, and who's main concern in life was acting as the primary care-taker of his child, while his wife was half-way across the world, but then again – he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Yeah well I'm a Rowdyruff I fuck shit up for kicks and I'm gonna be the best fucking dad on the Planet." – Butch (Baby Mine, Carriedreamer)
Happy Birthday Carrie