As Willow walked towards home, she admired the starry sky, and thought of Tara. She hoped, no, she knew that Tara would be happy where she was now. She was in a better place. Even though Willow had never quite filled the void that remained after Tara was brutally...
Stop. The memory was still too painful. Willow longed to be held again, to be held and to be loved. She was at the front door now. She slid her key into the lock, and stole one more glance at the stars.
I miss you darling, she thought, with a tear in her eye. She sighed and pushed the door open and was immediately struck by a wall of silence. Something wasn't right. Willow had expected Buffy to be out patrolling, probably with Spike, but where was Giles, and Anya and Xander (who, since the First had reared it's ugly head, spent most of their time together, in spite of their former distrust), and Andrew, and Dawn. She supposed Buffy may have taken some of the Potential slayers with her to continue their training, but surely not all of them? There were 28 in the house at this point. Even Buffy, the Slayer, would have difficulty controlling such a large group of teenage girls. At times, she felt a great deal of sympathy for the men in the house. Willow chuckled to herself at that thought, before being reminded of the situation at hand. She turned left and made her way into the living room, usually a hive of activity at this time of night, but now deserted. From there she could see into the kitchen – also empty.
Willow searched the ground floor, and peeked into the basement, but still no sign of people. Every room upstairs told the same story, but for one. She heard sobbing. Panicked, she hunted for the source of the weeping – Dawn's room. She lunged for the doorknob and, forgetting the custom of knocking, almost fell when the door opened so easily. A small yelp was emitted from the figure huddled in a blanket on the bed. It was Dawn, and she was surrounded by used tissues.
Her tears were forgotten the instant the dark shape burst through the door. She herself panicked, remembering Buffy's lectures on securing the house from demons. Did she forget to lock a door, or leave a window open? Dawn knew it couldn't be a vampire, vampires can only enter when invited, but it could be a bestial demon, with their big teeth claws, drooling and
"Dawny?"
"Willow!" A smile broke out on her face as recognised the witch's voice, and the flash of Willows beautiful auburn locks in the crack of moonlight set a flight a flock of butterflies in her stomach.
In recent weeks, she had begun to see Willow in a different light. Perhaps it was the rejection by the boys in her life, or even the immaturity of all boys, but felt herself increasingly drawn to her sister's friend.
"Dawn, honey, what's wrong?"
"Oh," Dawn sniffled, and pointed to the TV. "'Thelma and Louise'. It's lame, I know, but it always gets to me." She giggled, and Willow joined her.
"Yep, I know just how you feel there, Dawny. Hey where is everyone?"
"Hmm?" replied Dawn, dreamily. "Oh! They heard about some lair nest thing, lots and vamps, good for training or something."
"Ah, that would explain all the spooky emptiness. You didn't feel up to it?"
"Nah, just decided to stay here and drown myself in chick flicks!"
"Want some company? I'm blue too."
"Sure," Dawn chirped, and moved over to let Willow lie down beside her.
She removed her sensible shoes and slipped out of her coat, then lay down. "So what are we watching?"
"Take your pick – we've got juts about every Meg Ryan movie ever made, all the oldies, some of the newbie's. Just don't make me watch 'Thelma and Louise' again"
"Sure thing," smiled Willow. So they lay there, watching movies, laughing at the funny parts, crying at the sad parts, until the early hours. When Dawn slipped towards her, Willow didn't say anything. And when Willow put her arm around her shoulders, Dawn stayed silent.
For the first time in an age, Willow felt a desire stirring inside her, like a fire warming up. She longed to stoke its coals...
They awoke with a start when Amanda tripped over a shoe on her way to the bathroom. Dawn's floor was covered with snoring Potentials, exhausted from the night's activities.
"Amanda! G-good morning," Willow stuttered, "I'm just here... we were watching ... movies..."
"I guess we dozed off," Dawn interrupted.
"Yep. 'Cruel Intentions' is ok, I guess. Don't you think Kathryn looks kinda like Buffy? It's weird, I dunno..." offered Amanda, in her clumsy way of speaking. "That's what you were watching when we came in. I switched it off. It just at that it in the park where she's teaching the younger girl how to... umm... kisses and... I need to pee, gotta go." She scurried out, almost tripping again on her way.
Suddenly, they realised how close they were to one another. Willow rose, awkwardly un-tangling their limbs.
Nothing happened, did it? She thought.
"No, nothing." She was shocked to hear her own voice.
"Huh?" Dawn mumbled, already dozing off.
"Nothing, nothing at all." She left in the same manner as Amanda.
Dawn lay silent, not hearing the sighs and wheezing of her sleeping companions. She knew now why she felt such an affinity with Willow.
Things were normal at breakfast. The usual arguments over cereal, fighting over the last waffle, Giles desperately translating in an argument between Andrew and a Swedish Potential over his blueberry Pop Tarts, Spike growling at them from on corner, and Xander cowering in the other. Willow was relieved. This was comfortable, familiar.
A week later they were alone again. It was a situation she had desperately avoided, yet craved. She was drying the dishes while Dawn washed. They had purchased a mass of crockery in anticipation of the Potentials arrivals, yet there never seemed to be enough clean plates. They chatted nervously about pop music.
"NSync, huh?"
"Yeah, they're my favourites."
"Ooh, back in my day it was the Backstreet Boys. Now there's a group of repressed homosexuals!" Willow joked, and immediately regretted it.
A Freudian slip, she thought, that's what they cal it, yeah? No, it doesn't mean anything, I'm not attracted to Dawn, no way, it's just...
"Willow!" Dawn was holding a plate out to Willow. "Where were you?"
"Oh, just day-dreaming, you know, about the good old days of pop, that sorta thing."
"Right. Well that's the last plate so we're all done here. I'm gonna go catch up with Xander." She turned to leave.
"Dawn..." Willow touched her arm.
"Buffy said they found another nest. A lot of vamps in Sunnydale right now I guess. They're all going out again tonight," she said knowingly, "except me." She gave Willow a look she couldn't quite decipher, and left.
Willow's jaw dropped.
"Ok, we've got popcorn, chocolate, ice-cream, "Dawn reeled off the list. "Anything else?"
"Umm, movies?"
"Ah, I thought a Tom Cruise fest we'd be in good," she grinned.
"Yeah, fantastic," Willow replied with a false smile, and thought, Yeah, that's who all the women like.
Dawn cringed at her enthusiasm about Mr Cruise. Why did she have to mention that! She couldn't mess it up now!
Willow wasn't interested in the movie. Tom Cruise was flying a fighter jet, but as she stared longingly at Dawn, her heart was racing faster than any airplane. She reached out to touch Dawn's hair. It looked so soft, so silky smooth, she juts wanted to stroke it...
Sawn could feel Willows eyes on her. She was excited. Oh, she though, she's touching my hair! This is good, this is so... very... good...
This is bad, this is very very bad, Willow thought, she's only 16, and she's Buffy's little sister!
"Dawn?"
"Y-yes?"
"Dawn, you've kissed boys before, haven't you?"
"Yeah."
"Well..."
"Have you ever, you know..."
Dawn couldn't wait any longer. She leaned forward and kissed Willow. Soft, gentle...
... Willow was startled. She pulled back briefly, just long enough to look into Dawn's eyes and...
... she knew then that Willow felt the same way. The electricity between them was amazing. Willow was coming back towards her...
... lips slightly parted, pouted. She could taste Dawn's raspberry lip gloss as she rolled her tongue over her young partners, so and sweet, un-tainted, Willow could feel...
... her heart pounding, she wrapped her arms around Willow and pulled her closer, their bodies touching. She tingled all over as Willow placed her hands on Dawn's waist, then round to the small of her back...
... where her shirt pulled up, she could feel goosebumps. Was Dawn as nervous as she was? Tentatively, she moved her hand up Dawn's flank, underneath her clothing. She stopped when she encountered the soft cotton of Dawn's bra and...
... Dawn gasped. She felt so hot. No boy had ever dared to touch her there. But Willow was no boy; she was different, bold enough to feel...
... young firm breast under her white underwear. Willow felt Dawn's nipple harden at her touch, and...
...she moaned. Willow knew all the right places...
"No, this is wrong." Willow got up and headed for the door. She turned her head slightly and whispered, "I'm sorry." The door shut lightly behind her.
Dawn buried her head in the pillow and wept. Was it something she did? Did she do it wrong? What? She hated herself then.
The glass chattered on the counter. Only then did Willow realise she was shaking. The click as she closed the microwave door made her jump. What was going on, she thought?
Her mind raced as she tried in vain to justify her sudden exit, but she couldn't. Willow wanted Dawn and she was certain the feeling was mutual. But she was Buffy's sister! This thought she could not escape. She remembered Dawn as the giggly little girl, but not the confident woman she was now scared her. The microwave pinged but Willow knew warm milk would be no comfort tonight.
She must have falling asleep crying, because when she woke, her cheeks were salty with dried tears. Remembering what had happened; she let out a small sob, but stopped short of a full crying jag, mindful of the girls sharing her room.
Willow felt out of place at breakfast. The familiarity gone. She couldn't escape her guilt. Tara hadn't been gone that long. But how long was it though? One year? Two? No, not that much. But it was long enough in the lifetime of a girl. It was a moment she dreaded, but at the same time, she was relieved to find herself no longer grieving.
Everyone was moving around her, and Willow was in a daze. The others didn't seem to notice anything wrong. That was good, she wouldn't have to explain herself. They wouldn't understand, least of all Buffy. How could she even begin to explain that she lusted after her younger sister?
She made her excuses and left, doubtful that anyone would hear. In the fresh air and warm sunshine she would sure her thoughts were clear. Nature had that effect on her.
Dawn enquired uneasily as to Willow's whereabouts. Most of the group ignored her and the rest shrugged absently. "Ok," she mumbled. She took her jacket off the hook, opened the front door...
Willow was disappointed. She was still confused as she approached the door. She lifted her head and her breath caught in her chest when she found herself looking into a pair of beautiful green eyes.
... and walked into Willow. She almost fainted. "Umm, sorry," she apologised, and stepped aside.
Willow took a half step forward, then lowered her head and continued past Dawn. When their arms brushed, she felt a great surge of... what? Sorrow? Lust? She couldn't put her finger on it. It was her fault. She shouldn't have left so suddenly. She shouldn't have led Dawn on. She shouldn't have let it start in the first place.
Dawn forgot all about her walk and went to her room. She could hear the Potentials going through a Ti Chi routine in the backyard, Spike threatening Andrew, Giles and Buffy arguing again over tactics... All of these simply noise behind the screams in her own mind.
Willow sat cross-legged on the back porch watching Kennedy, one of the Potentials, coaching the others in a series of kicks and punches. She was trying to meditate, which was going surprisingly well, considering the frequent yelling.
Behind her, one of the girls was carrying a large tray, lemonade refreshments for the troops. Hidden from her view by a dozen glasses was Willow, sitting in her line of travel.
She was shocked out of her trance by a knee in her back and then a drenching in ice cold lemonade. Willow leapt up and screamed at the girl to watch where she was going. It was as far away from her regular calm, controlled exterior as possible, with the exception of Apocalyptic Willow. She ran upstairs to wash off the sticky mess.
From her room, Dawn heard the sound of running water. She was in her own trance, dreaming of a walk on the beach at sunset with her lover. She decided to take matters into her own hands, and marched out of her own room and into Willows, only to find it empty. It's Willow in the shower she thought, with a cunning look on her face
Willow turned off the water and grabbed a towel. During her wash, she'd decided to go for it. She wrapped the towel around herself and unlocked the door, then paused to wipe the condensation from the mirror.
"You can do it girl."
Like any girl, she had to choose what to wear first, and thought deeply as she tiptoed to her bedroom. Willow was astounded when she opened the door. A thousand candles, or so it seemed, glowed, rose petals scattered across the bed, vanilla incense in the air. The door shut behind her, and Willow turned round to see Dawn, standing there in a short skirt and a sheer blouse.
"Hi..."