Hello everyone! I have something a little different for you today: Simon and Baz! I am so excited for Carry On this October (for those of you who haven't heard, Rainbow Rowell is writing a full version of Carry On, Simon from Fangirl). Honestly, I shipped Simon and Baz in Fangirl more than any of the other characters. Alright, enough of my talking :) Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Simon Snow and its characters belong to Gemma T. Leslie *chough*Rainbow Rowell*chough* And Fangirl belongs to Rainbow Rowell.
"Crowley Snow, watch out!" Baz said, grabbing Simon's arm in midair. The young Mage's apprentice was trying to master a new spell, with minimal results. He had been trying for hours, but when Baz walking into the room they shared and almost got hit in the head he decided to intervene.
"Sorry, Baz. I just can't get this spell! It shouldn't be this hard to animate an inanimate object, should it?" Simon dropped his arm to his side and sighed. He was supposed to save all of the magical world from the Insidious Humdrum, yet he couldn't even make a teddy bear wave hello.
"That's exactly your problem," Baz huffed, walking over to his own bed to read.
"What is?"
"'It's not the words themselves that matter, it's their meaning. You must tap into the meaning of the words in order for the spell to work'. Snow, that's year one material. And you say I don't pay attention," Baz scoffed.
"I know that, Baz. But what does that have to do with-"
"You're trying too hard!" Baz interrupted. In two strides he was back next to Simon, pulling out his want. "Animation is expression!" The bear stood up and waved.
"You did it!" Simon said, watching the bear.
"I love you Sim-" a high pitched voice began, but Baz clapped a hand over the bear's (strangely unmoving) mouth and muttered the counter spell.
"Well that was...odd," Simon said. Baz picked up the bear and tossed it behind his bed. "What did you expect the spell to do?" he asked, settling back onto his bed and burying his nose in his book.
"No, I knew that's what the spell would do..."
"Well than what the blazes has you confused, Snow?"
"That it...it kind of sounded like the bear was...going to say my name." Simon sat on his own bed and looked at Baz, who was blatantly avoiding Simon's gaze by staring at his book. "Baz?"
"Yeah?"
"I said-"
"I heard you."
"...Baz?"
"What, Snow? What is it?" Baz closed his book and sat up straight to look Simon directly in the eye.
"I found that bear in the room, and it's not mine."
"...So?" Baz asked, his face taking on a very faint blush.
"So, if it's not mine..."
"Are you implying that that teddy bear is mine?"
"Well..." Simon didn't finish whatever though he had started. This was a strange turn of events, and he wasn't quite sure what to do or say. Baz rolled his eyes, stood up, and walked to the door.
"Look, it's the weekend, and I don't plan on spending it playing Nancy Drew with you, Snow. I'll probably see you at dinner." As soon as Baz was gone Simon was off his bed and reaching behind Baz's for the bear. Due to the way the beds were made it took Simon quite a bit of reaching and angling to finally grab the bear by the ear between two fingers.
"Finally," Simon huffed. He set the bear on his bed and pulled out his wand. Please let this work Simon thought as he tried the spell again. Again, nothing happened. "Shoot!" he muttered. He tried another three times with no results. Use the meaning of the words...that's what Baz was reminding me Simon remembered. He thought about what the words were meant to do, and tried again.
"Animation is expression!" Simon declared to the bear. The bear, to Simon's surprise, stood up.
"Simon!" it said, though its mouth still did not move, which Simon found a little creepy.
"I did it! Um, hi...bear," Simon said, unsure how to address it.
"Why can't I just tell him?"
"Tell who what?"
"Crowley, I wish it wasn't this hard!" Simon watched as the bear began pacing back and forth across his bed reciting a rant. He tried a few times to ask it a question, but it either didn't know he was talking to it or was choosing to ignore him. Simon was about to give up on the bear actually telling him who it was who clearly had feeling for him when it stopped, looked at the ceiling, and yelled "I, Tyrannus Basilton Pitch, am in love with Simon Snow!"
Simon stared at the bear in surprise for a few minutes before he realized it was still talking. Quickly he waved the counter spell at it, not wanting hear more than he should. Granted, he had just interrogated Baz's stuffed bear to find out his secret feelings toward Simon. The clock on the far wall chimed, reminding Simon that dinner would be beginning. Quickly he put the bear on Baz's bed and straightened his uniform before heading down to the dining hall.
"So I asked her, 'what if the word's pronunciation is debated? Does it matter which is used, and if so which one should be used?' She told me that I was asking questions above my level and to focus on the task at hand, but if you ask me we should be covering this stuff now," Agatha was saying as Simon approached the table. He sat next to her, across from Baz, and surveyed the spread of food.
"Simon! Perfect timing! Don't you agree we should be worrying about word pronunciation now, not in future lessons?" Agatha asked.
"Look, the Mages have their reasons. I say better not to question them," Baz interjected before Simon could speak.
"I'm not questioning them. I know they have their reasons, I'd just like to know what those reasons are," Agatha replied. Simon only smiled and dug into his dinner, not having realized before how hungry he was. It wasn't until after dinner, back in their room, that Simon was able to talk to Baz privately, as he had expected.
"So, Baz," he began.
"Not tonight," Baz cut him off.
"What do you mean?"
"You've got this tone of voice that sounds like you've got some big, important thing that will take all night to discuss, and frankly I'm too tired." Baz kicked off his shoes and loosened his tie, getting ready for bed. Simon, on the other hand, sat on his bed unmoving, lost in thought.
"Baz, I think this is one thing that can't wait," Simon said.
"Unless it will affect our immediate lives I think it can wait," Baz answered.
"Well, it will affect our immediate live, I suppose. Baz...I talked to your teddy bear..." Simon trailed off, realizing that he should have said that differently.
"You talked to my teddy bear? Snow, do you need to go to the infirmary?" Baz asked.
"No, Baz, what I meant is I tried the spell again after you left, and it...well, it worked. The bear told me everything." Baz froze.
"How much 'everything'?" he asked.
"Um, well, quite a bit I suppose." Baz wanted to be angry, really he did. Simon had snooped in his personal life via teddy bear interrogation, but on the other hand any object in this room probably would have told him the same thing; Baz ranted enough that the walls themselves would probably have told Simon. Besides, he knew if he took one look at Simon's face right now any tiny bit of anger he could muster would be snuffed out anyway, so why bother? It was like trying to be mad at a puppy.
"And?" was all Baz said.
"And...why didn't you tell me sooner?" Baz didn't answer. He hoped that if he just kept quiet maybe Simon would drop the subject. "Baz?" No such luck.
"I don't know," Baz muttered, knowing that was a total lie. But he would die before he admitted he was scared; curse his stubborn pride.
"But I thought you hated me!" Simon said, getting up and walking over to Baz.
"What ever gave you that idea?" Baz asked, his tone only slightly sarcastic.
"Just the many, many, many, times you've made a joke at my expense," Simon said lightly. Baz cracked a smile. Simon placed his hand on Baz's shoulder and tuned Baz so they were face to face. "Can we have an open, honest conversation?" Simon asked.
"...I...I suppose we can try," Baz said, though the idea sounded like hell; explain his feelings to Simon and the wait to be shot down when Simon told him there was no chance? Not how he had wanted this to happen. Actually, he had never wanted this to happen, not the rational part of him. A small part of him he had let dream of the possibility, but the majority always told him that it just wasn't possible. Simon was the "Chosen One", the one who had to save them all, and Baz was...well, he was him. Alone, prideful, stubborn, and dangerous.
"So...how long?" Simon asked, sitting with Baz on his bed.
"As long as I can remember," Baz answered, looking anywhere that wasn't Simon. Simon nodded, processing this.
"What's going through your mind right now?" Baz asked.
"Well, I was thinking that I'm surprised I didn't know sooner if it's been going on so long," Simon said. Now it was Baz's turn to nod.
"Baz..."
"Yeah?"
"I...I don't know," Simon admitted. "I don't like just sitting here in silence."
"Oh. Simon?" Simon looked at Baz in surprise; Baz never called him by his first name.
"Yeah?"
"Can you just...just tell me how you feel. The sooner you tell me it's never going to happen, the sooner I can go to bed." 'And pretend this was all a bad dream' Baz mentally added.
"Baz...you really think-"
"Don't pity me, Snow, I know how this is going to end. I've known how this is going to end for a while, so just tell me."
"Alright...you want it straight?" Simon asked. Baz nodded, even though his heart screamed 'No, let me have one tiny piece of hope!' "Alright then. Baz...I...I feel the same."
Baz stared at Simon; that was not what he was expecting to hear. No, he must have heard Simon wrong. Or there was a but somewhere. Baz dropped his gaze to his hands, unable to let himself believe any of this was true.
"Baz?" Simon asked.
"I...I think I heard you wrong," Baz said, his voice so quiet it was almost a whisper.
"I said I feel the same," Simon repeated. Baz still couldn't believe his ears, but there was no denying the feeling of Simon's hand on his shoulder, comforting and warm. Baz looked up, and Simon planted a kiss, feather light and less than a second long in the middle of Baz's forehead.
"I've wanted to do that for a while now," Simon admitted, his cheeks turning a light rose shade. Baz leaned forward slowly, like he was afraid of scaring Simon, and kissed Simon's blush-warmed cheek.
"And I've wanted to do that for...well, a long time," Baz mumbled.
"So does this make us...what?" Simon asked.
"I don't know. What do you want us to be?"
"I don't know. I mean, being around me you'd always be in harms way. I don't want you getting hurt, or worse, because of me." Baz rolled his eyes and took Simon's hand that wasn't on his shoulder in his.
"I'm not really the safest person to be around, either. But...maybe instead of being something, why don't we just be us? Take whatever comes as it does together?"
"I like the sound of that," Simon said, leaning into Baz until their foreheads touched.
"Okay, it's late, and as much as I would love to stay up until the early hours with you, I plan on sleeping late tomorrow," Baz said. Simon nodded and quickly changed into his pajamas. While Simon climbed into bed Baz turned off the lights. Simon rolled onto his side, but was surprised when he felt a weight on his mattress.
"Baz?" he asked.
"Move over," Baz said, glad the darkness hid his blush. Simon chuckled and moved to make room for Baz, who cuddled up against him.
"Good night, Baz."
"Good night, Simon."