Sorry if I fuck up anything when publishing, I have no idea what I'm doing...
Hi:
I've noticed improvement in writing and really overall perspective writing whatever the hell I feel like, so that's what this is going to be. I will just wing it based off of a good premise that I get instilled in my brain, until I can write it (well, type it). Honestly though, I may have expected a rocky start due to a difficulty spike with my classes, but damn did my English grade take a hit. It's pretty depressing to look at your grades to find all 100s and high 90s and then a 60, youknow? Of course, there's more to the writing than that. I'm going to pour my heart and soul into these pieces; nothing half-baked is coming from this user. Speaking of, my username is really supposed to be meaningful to me in an ironic way. That is, I have a lack of passion for anything right now. Previous interests just died over time. Now I only seem to enjoy myself at school. Learning and discussing amongst my peers and close friends is the highlight of my day at this point. And handling every day at home with indifference is getting old. So, writing and reading and listening to music fill up the gaps where I feel bored out of my fucking mind. That being said, I'm not overflowing with any ideas either despite spending hours on end just sitting in silence, so if you think you have a good idea I or anyone else interested could go off of, I'd love to hear it.
Also, my summary is vague not because I want to leave everything a mystery as you go in, but because I want to encourage you guys to learn something new and possibly even interesting to you. How? The title of course! I encourage you to look up the titles, as I hope to find something interesting to take inspiration from each time I write and include it in the title in some form. So, if you want to understand the gist of this one shot, google Orestes. (You can actually read my Author's Notes at the end of the page before reading the story too, which is where I am going to put some stuff for every story I write. I just wanted to get this "a little about me" info out of the way first.)
On the off chance that I bored you with all of that rambling, sorry, but that's not gonna stop me. Enjoy!
"How many was it?"
"275 brothers and sisters, Slick."
"Jesus Christ, imagine trying to pick a favorite out of that mess." Judy winced at his words.
Picking favorites. As a fox, Nick was likely unaware of how close that hit to home. Not only did his species tend to have small families overall, he was an only child. Judy didn't know anything about his past and was in no rush to learn, but it was clear that his mother gave him her undivided attention if the incident with the Junior Ranger Scouts was anything to go off of. "Small and emotionally unbalanced" he'd called her so many years ago, and small and emotionally unbalanced she certainly had been. As a rabbit, nepotism was protocol in the family household. With family trees that parallel family forests, kits could feel as if love was spread thin- not to say that it was. Older siblings did help with younger siblings (which had its pros and cons). In fact, Judy herself had wondered if she was the odd one out on several occasions. She had set her path in stone at the young age of nine, and it had been a lonely 15 years to reach her goal. Along the road were many bumps involving her peers in Bunny Burrow or even family. She recalled a time when she was away at the academy and it was the largest litter's birthday in the Hopps family. Also nine years of age. One of her little brothers was crying and asked to talk to her. "I miss you. Why can't you be normal?" Those two sentences burned, but they only fueled the fire to show the world why she refused to be normal. Hindsight is 20/20, so was it all worth it? Yes, yes it was she told herself. She would do it all again because she was no longer alone. She had Nick, and that's all she would ever need. Yet, Judy wasn't satisfied being partners. She wanted them to be partners in every which way. But the fox could never know that, for she was too afraid of his answer if she popped the question and of the repercussions should he mirror her feelings. The bunny officer gathered her thoughts and finally looked back to Nick.
Meanwhile, the tod was also lost in thought, staring out the window of their police cruiser. He was unaware of the touchy subject he'd just brought up, but he was no fool. As a conman, Nick could read mammals in the blink of an eye by the smallest details in the manner with which they acted. Every subtle change. Every reaction, or lack thereof. The dead silence caused him to internally facepalm, as he'd clearly struck a nerve. No, he didn't understand how picking which mammal you cared about more was a very real occurrence for his partner, but he would. He glared down at his coffee before taking a quick sip.
"Ah, just like I like it Carrots." Judy gave an annoyed huff in response.
"Honestly don't know how I would make it through a whole day without you or your damn coffee," he muttered. The rabbit's ears perked up at this, but other than that she still appeared to be drowning in internal turmoil. Appeared.
"I would imagine I'd have to carry you harder than I did your grades in the academy," she quipped with a brief devilish smirk.
"In your dreams cottontail," the fox replies with a similar expression.
"In my nightmares, actually."
"That bad, huh? Well woe is you-"
Nick is interrupted as the radio on the dashboard crackles to life. The plump cheetah at the other end of the line says it's a 10-31 near them. Nothing special, but better than sitting and watching for people driving a little too hastily on highway patrol. Nothing special, but something life changing.
"Ugh, don't suppose I can get overtime for this?" The fox officer asked Judy rhetorically.
"In YOUR dreams, Nick. Is this all about the money to you?" She responded with just as much sarcasm.
"Actually being a cop has and always will be all about spending time with you, Carrots. Wouldn't trade that for the world." At this, the rabbit was speechless, and at that, the fox smiled.
A familiar ram was running down the street with a suspicious looking duffle bag as the two young officers arrived on the scene. They nodded to each other with tacit understanding and gave chase. It was easy to apprehend Doug since the bag was weighing him down, but neither officer had expected him to have a REAL firearm. When both Judy and Nick had let their guard down, he pointed the barrel at the lapine.
"Move a muscle and I shoot, pal," he grumbled to the fox. Judy was calm, waiting for Nick to offer a distraction so that she could take the ram down, but none came. The red fox was terrified. He managed to maintain his cool, collected façade, but Nick understood that his emotions were getting the better of him and the implications of letting personal matters get in the way of the job. He could also tell Judy was not and wouldn't be happy about it later. The fact that he was failing her actually fueled a rage he didn't know he was containing. Both Judy's and Doug's eyes went wide at the predator as his fur began to bristle and his lips began to curl in a vicious snarl.
"Why don't we do a trade here, Doug? You drop that bag so I have a little something to show for, and you don't have to worry about me hunting you to the ends of the Earth so I can eat you alive. You wanna make a mistake? Tell me not to move a muscle again." Silence.
"Good, now fuck off."
It was Judy's turn to stare out the window, lost in thought during the drive back to the station. She wanted to be angry with Nick, but he had what he had done to keep her safe. This spiked her curiosity. Was it possible that he returned her feelings? After a routine scolding from Bogo for losing the suspect, the rabbit decided to act on her thoughts on the way out of the ZPD for once in saying: "I love you, Nick."
"Why thank you, Carrots," was his delayed response.
"That's not the answer I was looking for-" the fox stopped at the main doors of Precinct One and glared at her over his shoulder. There was hurt in his eyes as he slammed the door behind him.
The vulpine's actions did speak a thousand words, and they all said no. The fact that he couldn't say that to her face made it hurt so much more, and Judy broke down as she focused on that two letter word. She sprinted away to her apartment, not noticing the pair of horns hurdling towards her at breakneck speed from a nearby alley.
Judy awoke to darkness with her arms and legs bound to a chair with a blindfold on, but she could hear and smell just fine. There was a mammal taking staggered breaths beside her, who smelled like fox. "Nick?" she called desperately.
"What do you want with my boy you monsters?" a feminine voice echoed throughout the mysterious cell holding them both.
"If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all, so shut up Assunta-" A loud slap resounded in the room- "Besides there's only one of us 'monsters' here. Judy made sure of that, didn't you Judy?" Doug answered from behind somewhere.
"What?" The ram scoffed in response.
"Did you not turn the other cheek to your fellow prey when we were beaten in the prisons you sent us to? Murdered? Dawn didn't deserve the fate you decided for her. And who are you to decide in the first place? You betrayed your own species for God's sake! For a fox no less. You expected him to return the favor? Let's see. Let's see if he's going to make the same mistake that you did, Hopps."
Judy slowly opened her eyes when she felt her blindfold slide down her face. She looked toward the voice she heard earlier to find an elderly vixen staring right back at her with bright green eyes. They looked up simultaneously to their captor to see Doug with Nick, muzzled, leased, and a gun to his back. His fur was clumped together with dried blood, and where tufts of his luscious coat had fallen away, fresh scars replaced it. His eyes were bloodshot and his face dampened by streaks of tears. Judy looked to her surroundings as the old vixen wept. The place where they were being held in was not very well lit - intentional of course to be more inconspicuous. The rabbit officer's assessment of her situation was interrupted by Doug as he cleared his throat to speak, garnering the attention of the other mammals in the… whatever this structure was.
"Go on, do what you were meant to do. Kill," he said to Nick, gesturing to the chair bound vixen and lapine. It was only then that Judy noticed the pistol in his paw.
"Nick, I know it's hard for you to take another life, sweetie, but please just get it over with so we can get out of here," Assunta Wilde said softly. Judy's heart sunk when his grip on the gun tightened. Both she and the bunny knew that the tod wouldn't pick his partner over his mother. What a terrible way to go Judy thought. Shit way to end a shit day. She laughed in hysteria, then sniffled when she felt her own eyes water, closing them. She was a fool to be so optimistic. Too naive for her own good. The bunny looked down as Nick raised his paw. The vixen gasped beside her.
"Honey, what are you doing?! Don't do this!" A glimmer of hope slowed the rabbit's racing heart, but she didn't dare look up. Judy was sure he had the barrel to his head because he didn't want Doug to win. Judy was wrong.
"What is wrong with you?" the vixen screamed. "What did you do to him you fuck?"
It was Nick's turn to feel his eyes glass over. No one trusted foxes, thus foxes trusted no one. He would have to choose. His stoic mask fell as his paw motioned towards his mother. Mrs. Wilde was always the outgoing and sweet old lady on the block, a personality opposite to that of Mr. Wilde on an antipodic scale. Against the odds, these two personalities met and intertwined leading from one thing to another until Nick came into their lives; actually, just Assunta's life. Though they never met, he was told he was so much like his father, and unfortunately he and his mother often butted heads unlike his father. (At least that meant that her voiced disapproval meant nothing to him now.) Never seeing eye-to-eye, they drifted apart. They still loved each other, as seen in Nick's failed attempt to fit in with the Junior Ranger Scouts, but every evening when he came home then, Nick had dirty money in his paws that neither fox was willing to risk arguing over. And as much as he hated the thought, the tod felt as if he and Judy could have the same story: like he and his mother or his mother and his father. He could only dream of the former and sulk about the latter. Even if they could get past their obvious numerous differences, Nick was afraid of what the world would do, not to him, but to her when they found out; thus when Judy opened up to him, he crushed her. However, it was clear that the world wouldn't leave her alone either way, and he wasn't about to hurt the one he loved again. His trembling paw slowly tightened its vice on the pistol.
"I'm sorry."
BANG BANG BANG
Judy heard a body collapse on the ground and whimpered. "Nick…"
"I'm here Carrots, I'm here." She opened her eyes and found the fox staring right back at her, a huge smile on his face. The rabbit looked around frantically while he cut the ropes around her arms and legs and discovered that Assunta and Doug each had a clean bullet hole in their foreheads. Nick embraced Judy.
Music is art: Orestes by A Perfect Circle
I basically like any song with Maynard James Keenan involved. He's got a ludicrous amount of side projects here and there beyond Tool, one such side project being A Perfect Circle. The song I present to any of you readers willing to listen is Orestes. I like to think that MJK (Maynard James Keenan) defined APC's (A Perfect Circle's) sound right off the bat with Mer de Noms, with this song really seeming to stand out to me. There is something dark hidden behind every single song they record, and some may not even seem very dark at first. Some songs are also more aggressive than others. The only thing aggressive about Orestes, however, is MJK's powerful voice (as usual, might I add), and the only thing dark is the story it tells (so the whole song). It should come as no surprise that Orestes (both the song and story if you googled it) is the inspiration for writing this. In a literal sense, the subject of this song is trying to forget that he/she is related to his/her mother so he/she can gather the courage to kill her. The connotations are pretty clear too, honestly. "Give me one more medicated, peaceful moment"? "Umbilical" residue? Again, you don't REALLY have to read between the lines here. If you do, the rating's there for a reason, my friend, and perhaps you don't fit the criteria. I digress. I wondered, "What kind of insane events would lead to a dilemma in which someone is trying to cut any mental ties with their mother to have the strength to kill her?"
Referencing Things: Assunta Caruso
Assunta is the first name of Nick's mother in this story as well as the focus of Lea Fasolo's essay called "Life after Death". She wrote "once I had loved [her]... , and it hurt to remember the day I began to hate her." I didn't really want to mention Mrs. Wilde's personality in the story so that the people who have gotten their hands on the specific copy of Student's Book of College English that I have and could recall the story would know what kind of person she was and the concealed way that Nick felt about his mother. (The latter I didn't really talk about anyways.) However, odds are that a lot of people are not going to give a damn about reading this, and moreover won't really understand Nick's motives for both lying to Judy and killing Assunta.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, I'm a noob alright? If you are going to leave a review and read all my Author's Notes, mention it! KappaPride! Also forgive me for the morbid ending if you truly understood the implications of the last few lines. If you think you truly understood them, you should definitely also mention it for me and for other readers who check the reviews. Maybe I'll update the story to tell you all what happened if no one does mention it.