---
Are you gonna live your life wonderin
standin in the back lookin around
are you gonna waste your time thinking how you have grown up
or how you've missed out
---
I looked around at the tall brick buildings, a small smile on my lips. I hadn't been home in so long, I missed everyone so much. Demyx had screamed in my ear when I told him I would be coming home today, before Zexion had taken the phone from him so he could spazz without fear of breaking the small object. I had to laugh at that; Demyx could be so stupid sometimes. If not for Zexion, he would probably end up getting himself killed by doing something completely idiotic. But he was still one of my best friends; I couldn't wait to see him.
I looked different from when I had left to go to college four years ago; My hair wasn't short anymore, and my blue-green eyes had become a vibrant emerald color. I had grown a good seven inches; I was 5 foot 4 now. I had tattoos underneath my eyes and several ear piercings along with a silver stud tongue piercing.
Which was pretty damn awesome.
I had grown up over the years; would they even recognize me? I stepped out of the yellow taxi cab, paying the man his money, before making my way to my house. Upon opening the door a pair of arms wrapped around my waist as I was tackled to the floor. I didn't have to ask who it was, no one but Demyx could be this hyperactive. I laughed and pushed the hyper blonde off of me, taking the hand he offered so he could pull me off the ground.
Looking around at everyone; Demyx, Zexion, Sora, Riku... I realized we'd all grown up during the time I had been gone. My eyes stopped on a small blonde leaning against the wall, smiling at me; his blue eyes locked onto mine and I felt my heart stop.
'Welcome home Axel.'
Roxas had grown up as well, grown into someone beautiful...
I've missed so much in just four years.
---
things are never gonna be the way you want
and wheres it gonna get you acting serious
Things are never gonna be quite what you want
but even at 25 you gotta start sometime
---
I couldn't help but stare at the sleeping blonde led on my couch; he looked so cute, so innocent. Kneeling down, I gently brushed his hair out of his face, allowing a soft smile to come to my face. I knew I was falling for him, even though I had only been back for two weeks. I loved everything about him; the way he laughed when I'd make a joke, the smile he'd give me when I'd hug him, saying he was mine and no one else could have him. He'd think I was joking, and I didn't try to prove him otherwise.
I loved how he'd pout when he was upset. He'd try to act serious, to be angry. But it was too cute and It was hard to just wrap my arms around him and kiss his pouting lips. Of course, if I did that he'd probably never speak to me again. I was relatively sure he was straight and I didn't want to ruin our friendship.
I shook my head; I needed to think of something else. I didn't like being serious, it was boring and seemed to complicate everything. Unfortunately, all I could think of was the small boy sleeping in front of me, which happened to be a very serious matter for me. He made my heart beat ten times faster, he made me smile and laugh, he was my light...
Allowing a quiet sigh to escape my lips, I gazed softly at the blonde; I didn't want to think about him,
but it wasn't horrible.
---
Im on my feet, im on the floor, im good to go
But all i need is just to hear a song i know
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight
---
Roxas turning eighteen today, though he didn't seem to care. I remember that about him; he always hated his birthday for some reason. I'd asked why but he'd just shake his head and answer, 'I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go.' Only once was I able to get the rest of that answer, 'But I wish I was on a cloud, in the sky, ready to fall.' I never knew what that meant, but Roxas would never tell me anything other than those words. By the end of his birthday, he would be smiling, but something would still be off in his blue eyes.
There was no party; Roxas had requested that. Instead he had invited everyone over, just to hang out. I had seated myself beside the birthday boy, joking about how he was getting old. He laughed, reminding me that I was older than him, to which I responded by gently shoving him off the couch. He pouted, crossing his arms; I could feel heat rising to my face. Managing to control my blush, I crossed my arms and pouted back, making him laugh. I was glad; I loved that laugh.
Everyone eventually had to go home, leaving me and Roxas alone. There was a comfortable silence where neither of us said anything; I broke it.
"I guess I should get going too, I have work tomorrow..." Roxas walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head against my chest. A deep blush covered my cheeks; why was he hugging me? "Roxas...?"
"Your heartbeat... It's comforting, like a song..." Roxas murmured softly, hugging my waist slightly tighter. Hesitantly, I wrapped my arms around the blonde, breathing in his scent as I buried my face in his hair. We stayed like that for a while, just holding each other in our arms. It was nice, comforting even.
And I was falling twice as hard.
---
Are you gonna live your life
standing in the back looking around
Are you gonna waste your time,
gotta make a move your you'll miss out
---
My chest hurt, watching him talk to a small blonde girl. He had smile on his face, the one he gave me, and he was laughing. He seemed so happy just being near her, and I wished he could be like that with me. I wanted his smile, his special smile that he was giving that girl, to be just for me. For me and me alone. It's selfish, I know, but I can't help wanting at least something special from the boy who I felt so deeply for. It would never happen, he was forever going to be just my friend, we both knew this, though in Roxas' case it's because he had never thought of us as anything else.
"Axel!" I forced a smile, looking at the blonde walking my way.
"Hey Roxas." So much happiness in my voice, so much fake emotion. "You ready to go to Olette's party?" He nodded, giving me his special smile that made my heart flutter inside my chest. I ruffled his hair as we walked back to my car, allowing myself to think that he was cute as he protested against the action. I knew I wasting my time by thinking these thoughts to myself, that I should just tell Roxas how I felt.
But I couldn't bring myself to destroy our friendship.
---
Someones gonna ask you what its all about
Stickin around a shelter wont let you down
Someones gonna ask you what its all about
What what are you gonna say about yourself
---
Damn Riku, damn him to the deepest pit of hell to burn for all eternity. He just had to notice how I act around Roxas, how I always blush around him and try to keep myself from hugging him tightly. And he had to go tell everyone in our damn group that I loved him; they won't leave me the hell alone.
I stayed near Roxas more than usual now; he was my shelter. No one asked me annoying questions or begged me to confess as long as I was with Roxas. He didn't seem to mind, nor did he ask why I was clinging to him so much lately. In fact, he seemed happy about it. He smiled more, though I guessed it was only because I was around to see him smile more, same goes for laughing. But his smiles seemed to be brighter now, his laughter more melodic.
Sora has to screw everything up, doesn't he?
"Jesus Christ, Axel! Just tell Roxas you 're in love with him and get it over with! It's annoying seeing you stare at him longingly all freaking day long!" I had been about to make a retort to that statement, when a soft voice from behind me caused my words to die in my throat.
"You're in love with me?"
---
Im on my feet, im on the floor, im good to go
But all i need is just to hear a song i know
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight
---
I hadn't talked to Roxas in a week; after I realized he'd heard what Sora said, I'd run out of the coffee shop without looking back. He probably never wanted to see me again, everything would be too awkward. He didn't feel the same, though my dreams tried to tell me otherwise.
Stupid subconscious.
At least with Roxas not around I could think straight, which was good. But the only thing I could think of was Roxas, which means I was thinking about how much of an idiot I was. Which wasn't good.
My phone rang, the familiar Green Day ringtone alerting me of the caller. I didn't really want to answer, seeing as I was terrified of what he was going to say, but none the less, I picked up the phone and pressed 'talk'.
"Hello?"
"I love you too."
---
Crimson and clovers over and over....
Crimson and clovers over and over....
---
I felt happy, finally able to hold the blonde's hand and feel him hold mine back. He wore a small, clover charm necklace around his neck that I had given him, saying it was a symbol of us being together. In return, I wore a flame bracelet that he had gotten me years ago, as a symbol as the memories we have and the ones we would make. The crimson flames matched my red hair, which inspired many jokes about my hair and fire, but I didn't mind.
We were happy, nothing else mattered.
---
Our house in the middle of the street, why did we ever meet
Star in my rock and roll fantasy
Dont tell me dont lets start, why did we ever part
Kickstart my rock and roll heart
---
I still remember when I met Roxas; I had hated him then. He had to be the most annoying, accident-prone kid in the world, with more issues than a troubled child on crack. While I had thought of myself as king of the world. I was in a band, a pretty damn good one too, and we were making quite a bit of money. I met Roxas at a concert of mine; his brother had dragged him along and had won backstage passes in some contest.
And even though I hated the kid, when he left I found myself craving his company; I enjoyed fighting with him.
I learned that he attended the same school as I did, and sought the kid out, wanting to talk to him, wanted to argue. I had found him, fighting with a bunch of bullies. I say fighting, but it was more like getting the shit beaten out of him. He had a bloody nose, with bruises covering his body; I few cuts on his pale lips. By the time I had actually gotten over to where Roxas was (I had seen him from an upstairs window) he was unconscious and the bullies were long gone. I had taken the kid to my house, and the rest it history.
---
Im on my feet, im on the floor, im good to go
So come on baby sing me something that i know
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine
---
Roxas couldn't sleep. He came all the way over to my house at three in the morning to tell me that. I let him inside, of course, and took him to my room, allowing him to sleep with me. I sung him to sleep, stroking his hair softly, as if he were a child. He eventually fell asleep in my arms, a small smile on his face. Closing my eyes, I soon followed him to the world of dreams, a matching smile gracing my lips.
Nights like these were just... Perfect.
---
I wanna fall in love tonight
I wanna fall in love tonight
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight
---
I kissed his tears away, telling him it would be ok. He nodded, forcing a smile. It broke my heart, to know I was hurting him like this, but he pressed his lips to mine in a passionate kiss and I knew he trusted me.
His screams, and my moans, filled the room that night. He was so beautiful, and I was the only one allowed to see him, all of him. He was the only one allowed to say my name like that, screaming and pleading, over and over...
We were the only ones allowed to have each other, and we wouldn't have it any other way.
---
I wanna fall in love tonight.....
---
A soft kissed was placed on my lips by a blue-eyed angel, as he smiled softly up at me. I smiled back, gently stroking his cheek with my thumb.
'I love you, Roxas.'
I whispered, already knowing the words that would follow,
'I love you too, Axel.'
We fell asleep in each other's arms, knowing our words were not empty phrases, but whole-hearted promises, that no matter what, we would be there for each other until the very end.
---
A/N- Yes, I should be working on my other stories, but I felt like writing this. And I think it came out well, though I did blank on ideas several times and had to improvise a bit. But I thought it was cute ^^
Oh and about the thing with Roxas' birthday, basically he's saying he wants to be so happy he's in the clouds, ready to fall into his love's arms where he knows he'll be safe and loved. A bit vague the way he says it, but I think the meaning is there if you look.
Anyway, thanks for reading!