a/n: This is basically my first death note fan fic.... What happens when Mello rethinks his feelings for the one he loves? Mello's depression hurts everyone, even some... indirectly. I was told this is depressing... but I don't think it's all that depressing.... =.= maybe that's just me being emotional though... *shrug* Enjoy!~ 3 Unique

DISCLAIMER: YAOI, FLUFF, LIMES, HEAVILY SUGGESTED LEMONS. ALL CHARACTERS TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mello laid in his bed next to Matt, the both of them completely naked. He thought of the feelings he'd had just an hour before. Pleasure, lust... pure bliss. The warmth he felt. He loved it. But it couldn't last for long... it wouldn't. He'd have to go on another stake out and he'd leave Matt for about a week. Their relationship wouldn't hold. It was based off of pure lust. Nothing ever lasted. He realized this and got his clothes on. He wrote a quick note letting Matt know he was going out for a bit, that he'd be back eventually. He left out the 'I love you' he usually entered at the end and just signed it.

Matt woke up sore later on that morning. He rolled over expecting to feel his lover there next to him. Instead he felt nothing and heard the crinkle of paper and picked up the note.

"Matt, I'm going out for a bit... don't know when I'll be back... Mello..." He read out loud. Matt sighed. Mello was going through one of those stages again. One of his lows. He got dressed and slid down the banister and grabbed his vest at the bottom. He pulled on his boots and made sure his cigarettes were in his pocket. They were, so he walked out side and lit one. "Damn... it's getting cold fast..." He mumbled, shivering a bit.

A blonde haired girl named Halle walked up to him, she was one of Mello's friends and his ex-girlfriend, but that didn't seem to bother any of them, "Hey Matt. You seen Mello?"

"Nah, Mells left earlier, hasn't been home since...." he took a hit of his cigarette, "Probably since around 7."

"Oh, where'd he go?" She sat on the porch.

"Don't know. He's in his lows again so he just up and left. He left a note... but it wasn't very informational..." Matt sat next to her, "You know how he can get."

Halle leaned back on her elbows, "Yeah, I hated it when he got like that too."

Matt propped his elbows on his knees and sighed. He was worried about Mello... why now? Right after they had done what they did the night before... it hurt him.

"If you want... I can stay here for a little and wait with you... I've really got nothing to do all day. We could go out for breakfast or something." She offered.

The red head looked in to her light brown eyes. He could tell she was sincerely worried about the both of them. She knew how Matt felt, so she worried that he would get frustrated and leave Mello. But she knew something was going on in Mello's head and she worried he was really depressed about it. For Halle, it was harder. She saw both sides and couldn't pick a side. She'd let Mello go so he could be happier with someone else. With Matt. She wanted more than anything for the both of them to be happy... but would that cost her own happiness? She didn't mind if it did, but she needed to know.

"Halle... I think... that'd be cool... if we got out for a little bit." He knew how she felt and he wasn't about to pass up a chance to make amends and become closer friends with her.

She gave him a quick, weak smile, and stood up, "I pay though."

Matt laughed and stood up too, "If you insist! More money for cigarettes."

Halle laughed and as they began walking, she whispered, "I wish you happiness..."