Authors Note: I adore CB fics written just after they got together, especially the ones set in the future and I just can't resist writing one. This disregards everything after 1.09. I know we didn't really know about the affair until 1.10 but come on, it's not like they weren't having an affair, right?
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
::
Don't, she doesn't know why she's back.
Why? He doesn't understand why she's back.
Because, I can't - not again. It hurts, it hurts too much. It never hurt this much with Nate.
He takes a step forward, she takes a step back.
He puts his heart on the line, she runs away.
She puts her heart on the line, confesses everything, and he scoffs and leaves her like she meant nothing.
He steps forward, he grabs her hand and she doesn't step back, it's too late.
(He's had her heart for a while, anyway.)
I promise - His throat catches on the word. He can't finish the sentence.
You promise what? She asks, closing her eyes.
I promise I won't hurt you. She wants to believe him, and he wants to mean the words.
I can't take that risk, Chuck. Not, not again. And she's the one who steps back, and she runs.
She runs away, again.
Because he's always the one who'll step forward, and she'll always step back.
He's Chuck Bass and he wasn't apart of the plan.
::
She doesn't know why she's still attached to someone she had a fling with in high school.
(It wasn't really a fling if it lasted for more than a year.)
She's fucking twenty years old, she needs to get over him.
She needs to get on with her life, but he keeps invading her life, keeps on coming back, keeps her from moving forward, on moving on.
She glimpses at the ring adorning her finger, she was moving on.
She was moving on with her plan, the plan she had carried with her since she was six years old. Nate Archibald.
Marry Nate Archibald, had always been her goal.
A petty society goal, one that had been drilled into her mind from such a young age it wasn't even really her dream. Who wanted to have their goals and dreams to be of marriage?
They all end in divorce, anyway.
::
Why are you here? Blair hisses, smoothing imaginary dust off of her gown. A small snarl on her lips as she looks at him, did he not get that the two of them were over? Had been over for a long time. She crosses her arms across her chest.
I'm the best man. Chuck points out, raising a glass of scotch to his lips. Her face falls - oh. She may of forgotten about Nate and Chuck's friendship since they never saw each other, she forces the scowl back on her face. But it's too late, he's already seen her mask drop.
His fingers reach out, brushing against her chin, her cheek.
And then he's gone.
Like he was never there to begin with, she's glad only Serena had known about their relationship.
She returns to the party, perfect hostess smile on her face.
Her fiancee's arm wrapped around her waist, his lips on her cheek.
She feels nothing, empty, hollow.
She catches his eye from the other side of the room, he sends her a small wink before he returns his attention to the blonde in his arms. A blonde that was prettier than her, skinnier than her. Of course.
::
She wakes up in his bed the day she's supposed to be getting married to another man.
She gets dressed quietly, creeping out like a cat.
::
You left, Chuck attacks her at the reception after the vowels are said and the papers are signed as she's declared Blair Archibald, even if she wants to be Blair Waldorf.
Who invented taking the man's last name anyway?
I have no idea what you're talking about, Blair laughs. Blue eyes twinkling as she acts like nothing ever happened.
Nothing did happen, she tells herself over and over again until she believes it herself.
I don't know if your new husband would like to know what happened, Chuck threatens.
But he wouldn't dare - would he?
You wouldn't, Blair gasps because he's already turning away and going to fetch Nate.
She wants to cry, but she has to look surprised when Nate asks her because nothing happened and Chuck's making up lies.
::
But he keeps silent, and she's (almost) glad.
She leaves with Nate, ready to live the life that she's had planned out since she was a child.
His hand resting on her lower back, his lips dropping to her cheek.
And she's laughing like Serena laughs, but less happiness and more tinkles.
"I love you," Nate whispers, and she repeats the words back to him.
She wishes she meant them like she did when she was sixteen.
::
She falls pregnant exactly a year after marriage, or at least that's when she finds out.
Nate's grinning stupidly, and she's smiling until her face breaks and eight months later they have a little girl that has a mop of dark blonde hair and big bright blue eyes, and she grows up to be just like Blair.
They're told again and again what a perfect little family they have, and Charles is born three years afterwards. Nate insisted on naming him after Chuck, and Blair would crinkle her nose and say she doesn't want her son to be named after a man whore. Somehow, Nate wins in the end.
She doesn't see Chuck for three years after Charles is born. Nate hardly sees him as well, they have a fight one night and Nate states he regrets naming his son after such a bastard.
It takes her a week to find out what the fight is about, and when she does she wishes she hadn't found out at all.
"He said that you two had a fling back in high school, the fucking liar." Nate growls, throwing back another shot.
Blair chews on her bottom lip, nervously.
"It's not completely a lie." Blair states, holding her breath as Nate looks at her with wide eyes. He's changed a lot over the years, grown into someone else. Stronger, braver, less confused. Blair doesn't really know anymore. He puts the shot glass back down on the table and retreats to their room.
She finds divorce papers waiting for her in the morning.
::
She's furious.
She stomps over to where Chuck lives, a suite at some hotel. Screeching, and screaming at the top of her lungs. It's his fault her perfect little family, and her perfect little life that she's been trying to create since she was six fucking years old is ruined.
The tears fall when it hits her that it's over.
Nate won't be coming back in the morning, and her children will beg to live with Dad, and she'll be left all alone with no one.
Chuck slips his arms around her shoulders awkwardly, trying to comfort her, and failing. She'll push him away from her, seething insults as she storms out of the hotel room and past the twenty something blonde groaning as she messes around with her clothes - trying to escape from the dungeon herself.
::
Her children come back to her seven months after. After Nate is exposed as having an affair with a client, or something. Maybe it was his secretary. Nate will be soon to follow, in wake of the destruction of his carer. He'll beg for her, plead for her.
Blair takes him back, short little kisses and happy smiling Christmas photos every single year.
PerfectPerfectPerfect - always perfect.
::
She's in her mid thirties, and she's tipsy (drunk) and Chuck's there conversing with Eleanor as if they're old friends. Nate's off god knows where, probably off with Serena (stolen kisses and removing articles of clothing). She's tired of perfect, and pretending not to notice her best friend and boyfriend (husband).
She wants adventure, she wants fun, she wants danger. She wants Chuck.
"Excuse me, mother." She'll say politely, delicately placing her lips against Chuck's cheek. Murmurs of how are you? and petty little things that make an easy conversation that nobody cares about. Then the two of them will slip away, unnoticed, almost as if the whole ordeal had been practiced.
Are you sure? He whispers, not really caring all that much for an answer. Fingers slipping through brunette curls as fine as silk, as lips descend upon a cheek, then lips -
Shut up. She bites back, lips twisting upwards. This is what she remembers, not caring. This is what she liked most about the two of them, there were no expectations, no reason to be fake around each other, no reason to try and impress the other. They could just be.
She regrets it as she catches a taxi back home, hair slightly ruffled (although you couldn't tell) and lipstick reapplied a million times. It was a stupid, stupid, stupid mistake. One she didn't plan on repeating, but one she did repeat. For seven months.
It ends when Nate is in hospital, a car accident.
::
"I love you, Blair." Chuck pleads, one last attempt. The words flowing out of his mouth as if they were the easiest to say, she smiles slightly. Hand resting against his cheek for a moment.
"I know. I love you as well, Bass." Her lips press against his cheek, she can taste the salt. She rests her head against his cheek, letting their tears mix together for a moment. She pulls away, glancing at her family.
"But, I love my family more." It's not about her reputation, she's certain of it. She walks away, smiling brightly at her family as she sits down next to Nate.
::
AN: This was weird. And out of character.