Not Letting go
By Livinlifedabestucan
Disclaimer: "This Love" belongs to Maroon 5.
I can't let her run from me anymore. My love for her is too strong. She's always telling me we're through and then she's on her knees in front of me. She's always begging me to take her back with those tear filled eyes of hers. I don't know how much my heart can take because she always takes it away from me. Stupid bitch knows what she's doing to me.
"I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart"
She plays me like a fine instrument. She knows what strings to play to make me go crazy for her. A simple smile with a wink can make me ravish her against a wall. A sexy moan while eating dinner makes me want to touch her. A twirl of her hair makes me kiss her neck. A swing of her hips makes me pull her into a corner and make love to her. Pleasing her at all times. Her favorite is when she dances. She knows it almost makes me come right then. Even when she slays it makes me so bothered.
"This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore"
All my other relationships after her never last long, a few days and then mush. She shows up at my place sometimes. She always comes to me heart broken. She gets dumped by her weekly favorite and she comes running to me. Sometimes I'll comfort her with only word, which only happens if my boyfriend or girlfriend is in the apartment. Most of the time I comfort her with only words, but she always wants more from me.
"I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again"
She always whispers that she loves me when she inserts her fingers in my hole. She knows how to make me come without a thought. She knows all my spots where I'll give way to her. Every time she tells me she loves me, and then leaves the next morning as if nothing happened. She knows I love her. That's the only reason why she comes back into my warm embrace.
"This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore"
I know I have to make her stay. She doesn't see she's pushing me over the edge. I love her, but she'll never see it.
She's unconscious and chained to my bed naked. I broke up with my girlfriend so that I could do this. She was almost killed last night by a demon. She let the asswipe get a piece of her. I killed that asshole when I found out that she was out there by herself. Stupid bitch knows to wait for me. Look what she did to herself; she let it beat her up! I want answers from her, NOW!
I have to clean her wounds. I take the sponge I have in warm water beside the bed. I squeeze the sponge remotely dry and begin to clean her. I know she'll try to kill me when she wakes up, but I'm too pissed to care. The blood is easily removed along with the dirt and grime that covers her body. The cuts are serious, but I have to wait for her to wake up before I do anything. My sexual desires are long forgotten because I'm pissed.
She has to be heart broken right now. That's the only reason why she normally lets the demon attack her. Normally I'm with her and I kill the demon when I figure out what she's doing. I tried talking to her, but she never stops. It's like a drug to her. I'm even more pissed now; she normally comes to me when she's heart broken. So why didn't she? She always finds solace in my embrace. I don't get her sometimes. Then look at our non-existing relationship. I know she loves me deep down, but she hasn't admitted it to herself yet. It's going to kill her though… WAIT! That's it! She realized she loved me!
"I'll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright
My pressure on your hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do"
I lightly stroke her face waiting for her to wake up and see my face. I'm patient… so I can wait. Her eyes flutter open and through pain glazed eyes she recognizes me.
"Faith?" My name sounds so sweet when she says it. Who am I kidding? Anything she says sounds sweet.
"Buffy." My voice is colder than it normally is with her. Normally it's warm and accepting, but not right now. She needs to tell me.
"This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore"
Her eyes fill with tears when she looks into my hardened eyes. She's not going to get me with her eyes this time.
"This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And my heart is breaking in front of me
She said Goodbye too many times before"
"Trying to kill away the pain won't work Buffy. You need to accept that you love someone that you treated like shit." My voice is harsh, but she needs to understand what she did to me.
Her tears fall harder. She knows that I am telling the truth. She tries to reach for me, but she finds out that she is chained down. Her eyes harden at the sight of chains, but she knows she can't do anything about it. Her tears fall harder and I still look at her with cold, patronizing eyes.
"This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore..."
"Say it Buffy." I order harshly. My eyes narrow down at her prone body.
She gulps and tries to speak, but nothing comes out. I lightly touch her skin with the sponge teasing her. I move away from her when she tries to lean into my touch.
"Faith…" Hark, she speaks… one word. Not good enough.
"Say it." I command, my voice is hard with power.
"I love you." Tears roll down her face.
Yet I keep my eyes hard on her body. I turn away from her saying, "You always say that."
I walk out of the room to get the med kit and ice cold water from the fridge. I take them back to the room and to her. I dip the sponge into the cold water. I don't squeeze it dry, but instead squeeze the cold liquid making her gasp.
"Tell me why you tried to kill yourself." My tone is still cold and commanding.
I start to stitch up her arm that has a deep cut on it. She flinches under my hand because of the stitches.
"I couldn't stand the way I treated you." She's shivering because of the cold water and the room temperature.
"Really now? How did you treat me?" Still cold as ice, but I'm trying to teach her something.
I start to stitch up her leg. There's a really nasty gash on her thigh. The blood keeps pouring out, but the vein wasn't touch. I always seem to be the one fixing her up. From heart ache to bone break.
"I'm sorry for seeming to pretending to love you and then running away from us. I really do love you. I just didn't know how to react to hit." She knows she almost has me in her grasp.
"Uh huh." I act not interested so that she'll talk more.
She really let herself get beat up this time. Normally it isn't this bad. I stitch her eyebrow because the blood makes her look like she's crying blood.
"I'm serious." Her mouth is getting full of blood from her lip and the various cuts on her face. I want to kiss her right now, but she's beat up.
"Okay." Plain, boring answer. I know she's glaring at me. But my focus is solely on her lips.
"Faith… oomph." I cover her mouth with my hand. I know she was going to yell at me.
"You talk too much." My tone hasn't really changed all that much. I am not talking as cold with her. But it is not the same as before, I don't have the warmth showing in my voice. She's glaring at me and I don't seem to care.
I touch each of her ribs watching her face for signs of pain. I run my hands slowly up her sides to the top of her ribs. My hand brushes against the side of her breast which rewards me with a quiet moan from her. She has no broken ribs. She looks so hot right now. Her lip is bleeding and I know I really want to kiss away her pain.
"Faith?" Her questioning is calm and curious.
I look into her eyes and I make up my mind. I love her too much to resist her. I turn away from her going into the other room. I can tell she wants to know what I am doing, but she won't have to worry about that. I come back into the room with the keys to the chains that are on her wrists.
"I see you like it kinky." She says quietly.
"They aren't mine…" She looks up at me questioningly. "I borrowed them from your room." Her eyes widen and then she blushes a cute rose color.
I release her from her confinement and I let her stretch out and relax her bones. I offer her my hand and she looks at it confused.
"You need to shower. Come on… I'll show you where it is." I know she's been here before, but I know she's going to fall soon. There she goes… well she hasn't hit the floor because I was there to catch her. "No falling now. I don't want you to get even more hurt then you already are." She blushes and tries to hide her face in shame. I won't let her do that. I grab her chin and force her to look at me. I push some strands of hair out of her face and lightly kiss her forehead.
I am taller than she is, so she easily fits into my arms. She leans into me wanting to feel more of me. I don't want to do anything right now, so I pull away from her and pick her up. I take her to the bathroom and I put her into the tub after I fill it with warm water. I turn to leave, but a hand holds onto my wrist. I look down at her and she looks at me.
"Join me?" She has a mischievous twinkle in her eye and I almost buckle at the look.
"No." I don't want to do this right now.
"Please?" She's looking at me with puppy dog eyes. I hate those eyes. She pouts at me and I can't resist myself. I pull her lip in between my lips and suck it. She took this moment to pull me into the tub.
"Jesus Buffy!" I shriek. I don't normally shriek but this scared me.
She looks at me sheepishly and then says so cutely, "Guess you need to take a bath with me now.
Damn her, she knows I can't resist her now. I start stripping down; I can feel her eyes on me as each piece of skin is shown to her. After stripping down, I move Buffy slightly so that I could get into the tub behind her. I soap her up and rinse her off. She is my dirty goddess. I'm careful when I wash where the stitches are, I don't want to hurt her even more than she is now. She leans into my embrace, just like old times sake. Before Angel came back. She was mine then, but he screwed it up for me because she still love him. She was such a bitch back then and still is a bitch for playing my heart. But I can never stop loving her. Her attitude towards me tears me up inside, but the love making is pure bliss. Oh God… she's letting her hands wander on my skin. Across my legs… I need to take control of this situation! I run my hands across her breasts feeling the nipples erect themselves to my ministrations. Her hands stop wandering; I guess she likes what I am doing to her.
I have to keep her hands off my back. I have some new scars there that I don't want her to see. I got them in a fight with some demons… And I kinda let them do it to me. Not to mention I have some self inflicted scars on my thighs. I hope she never gets to see them… I put them on the back of my thighs 'cuz all my lovers seem to like my legs.
I run one of my hands down her tight stomach and down to her most needed area. She moans softly and I start to lick and bite her neck increasing her moans. I feel her move against me rubbing into my pussy and I can't stand it… I need to touch her and her to touch me. I jump out of the tub keeping my back away from her. I grab a towel and wrap it around me. My eyes are darker than they normally are and I can't stand it. She stands up and gets out of the tub. The water drops on her make her look even better. A drop of water falls from her neck and runs down her chest through the valley between her breasts and down to her sex. I lick my lips as I watch it go down. She reaches for a towel, but I keep it away from her.
"Fay?" She asks me using her nickname for me. I can't stand it anymore. I reach out to her and I pull her to me. I kiss her passionately and she is glued to me. I know she can't get enough of me because I can't get enough of her.
I pick her up and I bring her back to my room. I toss her onto the bed and she squeals as she flies through the air. When she lands on the bed I leave the towel behind and I am onto her body. My lips find hers, and we share a fiery kiss. I need her and I am going to show her how much I need her. My lips move away from hers and I kiss down her jaw to her neck. Her delicious moans make me even hotter and I trail my tongue down her body to her breast. I take a nipple into my mouth and I knead her other breast in preparation for my lips. Her nipple hardens in my mouth and she arches into me. I switch to her other nipple and I give it the same treatment.
"Faith… please." I know what she wants, but I want to torture her before I do that. I keep my touches light and I move my hand away every time she reaches for my touch.
I know I am being evil, but she's going to come so hard when I'm done with her. I insert my fingers to her hole and she moans at the sudden intrusion. I plunge my fingers into her as I nip at her neck. Her hot breath on my ear turns me on. I feel her getting close to coming. I remove my fingers from her pussy and I just continue nipping her neck. My hands travel up her sides to her breasts and I revel in the pleasure of her moans. I want to drink the warm milk that her breasts can offer. I suck on her nipple biting it slightly wanting milk to come from her breasts. She isn't pregnant, so this won't work well.
"Faith…" She moans. "Please… I need to come."
I ignore her and continue divulging myself with her breasts. I move between them and I know its weird, but I love them. I move my head back to her neck and I suck and nip it. My lips crush against hers and I battle for dominance with her. I feel her hands moving on my body. I can't have that, now can I? I grab her hands and I bring them above her head and I force them to stay there.
"Faith… please" She has tears in her eyes. Aww is the little B wanting some release? I have a smirk on my face and I continue to kiss her. She bites down hard on my lip causing blood to come.
"Dammit Buffy." I wipe the blood with my hand. I glare down to her and she is licking her lips where the blood was. "Oh... You like that do you little B."
The kiss I gave her had such brutality that I can't believe it came from me. I hear her moan into my mouth. I guess she likes it hard. She's sucking at my bottom lip and she's drinking the blood. Sometimes I wonder why we aren't classified as vampires. We act like them most of the time. We have the fascination with blood and necks. She lifts one of her legs in between mine. Oh good god. I try not to respond to it but she's rubbing it into me. I start to rock on it when she flips me over.
"I told you I was about to come." B tells me not so calmly. The fire in her eyes almost makes me burn. "Now you will pay."
Someone save me! She's going to tear my skin apart! She kisses me viciously and nips at my neck trying to draw blood. Which she does. I am groaning and moaning underneath her. She moves on to my breasts. I wish she didn't go there, she always like toying with me. She's gentle now; she sucks at my breast and moves to the other one. She knows what to do to make me come. I can't stand how gentle she is being. It makes me squirm. She always did like how I squirmed underneath her. I think it's the pleasure that got her. I'm always rubbing into her when I squirm. I'm moaning when she runs her hands down my sides to my pussy. I feel her moving inside me and I can't stand the feeling. I want to move against her, but I can't. I don't want to show her that she's getting the best of me. Oh god, she's going into me harder and harder. I'm almost moving… can't let her get the best of me.
I feel myself go over the edge screaming her name. Oh god that was good. I flip her over and I know she's been cheating. She's was trying to give herself something while she was giving to me too. I smell her on her hands. I like her hands greedily and I look down at her.
"You've been cheating. I think you should be punished." I take her hands and I put them in chains and I do the same with her legs. I spread them out far enough so that I can be in between them. "Play nice now and you might be rewarded."
I grin evilly at her as I move my body against hers. She is so small next to me. But how I love her body, every inch of it. I press my body against hers and I run my fingers down her sides. I totally love the way she looks. I lick my way up her arm and to her finger tips. Like a cat I lick her hand rubbing against her. I hear her suck in her breath sharply. I run my tongue down her arm down to her shoulders and I kiss my way to her ear where I stick my tongue in and lick it soundly. I know I'm pushing it, but I love this. Licking my way down her face back to her shoulders, I move over to her over arm. I do the same thing I did to the other arm and I look at her. She looks so flustered. She really needs release right now, but I am not going to give it to her. I sit on her stomach so that she can feel my wetness and see what I am doing to myself. I stick a finger into my wet folds and give myself pleasure, watching her face turn lustful and hungry in seconds. I come screaming her name. I lick away my wetness and move down her stomach to her sex. I blow lightly at her. She squirms and I know I am doing the right thing with the torture.
I decide that I should let her come other wise she'll kill me. I take her clit in my mouth sucking hard at her. She shrieks her approval and I know that this is way better then a simple love making session that she does. I plunge two of my fingers into her pussy keeping my tongue in her hole with the fingers. She bucks her hips and I move away. I go in again and she does the same thing. I move away and then go back in. She doesn't buck anymore but I know she's close to coming. I move my mouth away and kiss my way back up her body to her mouth. I let my fingers do the work as I take her mouth in my and battle her for dominance. Our blood mingles together and I love the taste of her and me together. She is almost over the edge, so I pump harder into her. I move away from her watching her squirm underneath me. She comes screaming my name. I unchain her and she wraps her arms around me.
"Oh god Fay." She kisses me on my lips. And then whispers. " I love you so much."
I look up at her sharply when she says that. She never said it like that before. So I think she means it this time… I look at her eyes and I see tears there. My own tears appear and I push them away. I kiss her tears away and I know we aren't going anywhere.
"I'm not letting go B. Not this time. I'll never let go."
END