Do you know what it feels like to break someone's heart? It is a horrible, twisted feeling that burns in your midsection like a furnace. Like your chest is caving in on itself, the guilt too heavy and too great to bear. A sickening feeling, like you are tearing the individuals heart out with your bare hands and leaving it hanging there, not caring if the intestinal filament snapped or not.

That's how I feel. I never believed it would end like this. I had imagined it calmer, quieter, maybe even easier. However, I was sadly mistaken. It was one of the most horrible things I have ever done in my whole life, even more so than mocking my brother when he first came out. Ironic, really, seeing how I turned out.

Arthur was perfect. He was beautiful, intelligent, unique…but he wasn't what I wanted. What, or who, I wanted was calm, quiet, adorable, and kind, not brash, violent, and slightly uncaring. Someone with soft black locks, not unruly blonde hair.

A person who's name was Kiku, not Arthur.

That was why I was here, uttering the words that were breaking the boy in front of me: I think we should go our separate ways.

I could see the tears forming in his gorgeous green eyes. His teeth were clenched harshly around his bottom lip and blood was slowly trickling down his chin. God, this is not going how I had hoped. Arthur's hands were clenched tightly at his sides, and crimson water slowly dripped to the ground. Oh, I wish I could take this back, stop this adorable young man from hurting like this, but it had to be done. I took a deep breath, and carried on.

"Arthur, I hope this doesn't stand between us."

Just let this be over with.

"Let's just be friends, okay?"

I am so sorry, Arthur. Instantly, I knew that was the worst thing I could have possibly said. Helplessly, I watched as the broken dam finally gave way, and the clear waters burst out of its confines. His hands flew towards his face and heart-wrenching sobs stabbed the air horribly, and I took a step forward to comfort him. I stopped. That would send the wrong message. I can't do that to him, not now, not ever. His small frame curled in on itself, and shook violently.

"W-why?" he breathed mournfully. I stared at him pitifully.

"You know why."

He ran, and all I could do was watch.

That night, I lay in my bed and I thought about that destructive deed I had committed. How could I do something like that to him? To anybody? Wasn't I supposed to be the hero, the one who saved the day, and made everyone happy? With a groan of annoyance, I flipped over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. My fingers twitched. I wonder how he's doing…

No! If I called him now, he would only break down again. I hated to see him cry. He always looked so…pathetic and weak. That was not who Arthur Kirkland was. At least…not anymore. Realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Shit, how could I be so stupid?

I launched my arm to my dresser and grabbed my phone. I tensely slammed down various technological buttons before I made it to my contact list. A second later, the phone was ringing, and I prayed to God that Arthur picked up the phone. "Come on, pick up the fucking phone," I grumbled, scared of what it would mean if he did not.

It rang once, twice.

Three times.

Four.

On the fifth ring, I yelled agitatedly and hung up. I called again. "Arthur, I swear to God, if you don't pick up the phone." Again, it rang five times, and the process repeated. After the tenth time, I gave up and threw my phone onto the bed. What was Arthur doing? He couldn't possibly be…

No, he couldn't be. He had promised me he would never do it again, that it was over and done with. Arthur wouldn't go back on that, right? I froze.

Yes, he would. I left him, and I promised him I would never do that, so he would go back on his…

"Fuck!" In a fit of rage, I punched the wall with all my strength. How could I be so stupid? I knew this would happen, I knew it! I picked up my phone again and punched in a number. It was picked up on the first ring.

"Alfred? Is there anything you need?"

"Kiku," I said, "could you try and get in touch with Arthur? He's not picking up his phone." There was silence on the other end. I suppose it wasn't much of a surprise. Kiku didn't like Arthur all that much, considering the situation they were in.

"Why would I need to do that? Didn't you break up with him?" Kiku inquired. He sounded slightly…jealous?

"I know we broke up and damn it was hard, but I know things about him that you don't and I am seriously scared right now." I was. Wouldn't you if your now ex-boyfriend had a very recent history of cutting viciously and without boundaries? On top of that, he wasn't very strong on the inside and could fall back to his old ways in a second? You would be pissing in your pants.

"…Alright, Alfred. For you, I'll do anything," Kiku responded. I couldn't help but smile. Immediately, I felt guilty. Here I was, smiling with the person I had been having an affair with while the one I was cheating on was probably hurting himself beyond repair. I was a horrible person.

"Thank you, Kiku."

I could practically feel Kiku's smile through the phone. "I love you," he whispered. I gulped. I wish he hadn't said that. I mean, sure I liked him a lot, but…I didn't know if it was actually love.

"You too," I responded. I hung up and let my arm fall limp by my side. I stared up at the ceiling again and bit my lip.

Please help Arthur be okay. If something happened to him, I don't know what I would do.

At least I'll see him tomorrow. With that thought, I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, I woke to my alarm clock blaring wild geese at me. I smashed the sleep button and turned over to go back to sleep. Then I remembered. Wake up, you asshole, you have to talk to Artie! Without a lick of grace, I fell out of bed, pulled on my clothing for the day (a white button-up, torn blue jeans, and my trademark World War Two bomber jacket (America, fuck yeah!)), raced down the stairs, stole Mattie's pancakes ("Hey, those are mine, fat ass!") and drove to school. I wouldn't be surprised if I broke at least ten laws on my way.

I screeched to a halt in one of the many empty parking slots and turned off the engine. I didn't get out. Now what am I gonna do? Shit, I really should have thought this through. For a while, I just sat there, contemplating my next move. I looked at the clock and blinked. 7:20. Huh…Arthur would be here in ten minutes.

Arthur would be here in ten minutes!

"Shit!"

I shoved the door open and jumped out, barely locking the car before I was sprinting towards the school. Fishing around in my pocket, I grasped the keys nestled inside and made haste with the lock. There were some benefits of being the boyfriend of the Student Council President.

…Or, at least, the former boyfriend of the Student Council President. I couldn't help but wince at the thought. As I was about to go inside, a hand rested on my arm. I screeched. "Aah!"

"Alfred?"

Please don't hurt me, ghost! I promise I won't steal the cookies from the pantry anymore! …Wait. I knew that voice. "Kiku?"

I turned and saw that it was, in fact, Kiku standing there and NOT the Pantry Ghost. A sigh of relief escaped me. "Oh, it's only you," I chuckled. Kiku smiled softly. Somehow, it didn't look as kind as it usually did.

"Yes. Um, what are you doing, exactly?" Kiku asked as he pointed towards the doors. I blinked. What was he…oh!

"I'm going in early because I have to talk to Artie about what happened," I explained. I could have sworn that at that moment, the Japanese man's eyes turned cold, and his smile twisted into a dark scowl. Then it was gone, and my Kiku was back again, smiling innocently and gazing at me shyly.

"Alfred, do you suppose that I could help? You know, with Arthur?" I stared at the black-haired man. I don't think this is a good idea…Although, Kiku is really good at talking to people. Yeah, maybe he'll convince Arthur to still be friends with me!

"Sure," I answered, "Maybe you can help him to come around!" I turned back to the school and pushed open the doors, merrily walking down the hall. I missed the evil smirk on Kiku's face. I surveyed the different rooms around me. Hmm…where should I hide? My head shifted to all of the doors. I know, I'll close my eyes and point in a random direction, and the door I point to is it!

Quickly, I closed my eyes and spun around in circles, then came to a stop and pointed somewhere. Opening my eyes, I laughed joyfully and grabbed Kiku's wrist. "Come on, in here, hurry!" When both of us were in, I shut the door quietly and turned the lights off. "Okay, Kiku," I began, "we have to be super quiet-!"

Suddenly, Kiku's lips were pressed against mine, his hands buried in my hair. Stunned, I instinctively kissed back and wrapped my arms around his waist. Stop it, Alfred, Arthur is going to be here any minute! As if he could here my thoughts, Kiku whined and pressed himself closer. "Alfred," he moaned. I bit my lip. I really shouldn't do this! Why does he have to be so cute! Leaning down, I pushed my lips back onto his and drifted my hands lower until they rested on his ass. Okay, one minute couldn't hurt. I mean, what are the odds of Arthur arriving this very minute?

Breaking the kiss, I trailed down Kiku's long neck and sucked the base, my hands squeezing the second-best ass I had ever seen. Arthur's is better NO WAIT SHUT UP MIND YOU CAN'T THINK THAT!

"A-ah! Alfred!" He screamed. I had forgotten how sensitive he was there. Please, help Arthur not be here yet. I really don't want him to hear this.

"Mmm. Kiku," I groaned. Kiku moved to kiss my throat when I heard a noise outside of the door. Was that…a sob? Rapid footsteps echoed down the hall, and I realized who had been standing outside. Frantically, I pushed Kiku away and yanked the door open.

"Arthur!"

There was no answer. Shit.

Two weeks have passed since I had been a complete idiot and ruined any chance I had of Arthur and I getting back together. Wait, I mean of us being friends again. Where did that come from? I am perfectly happy with Kiku…right?

Anyway, Kiku had announced that we were a couple to the whole school. I had wanted to wait a bit, seeing as how I had broken up with Arthur not that long ago, but Kiku wanted everyone to know. I had reluctantly complied when he gave me the Big Eyed Plea, as I call it. A rumor had started that Kiku and I had been fucking while I was still with Arthur. It was true, and I felt horrible about it. I can only imagine how Arthur must feel.

To be honest, I was worried about him. Every day, my thoughts were clouded with all things Arthur. How he was, if he ate, where he was, if he was hurting himself again- it was miserable. I barely paid attention to anything anymore, even Kiku. Oh, Kiku…I'm such a bad person, breaking up with someone for someone else and then thinking about the former all day. Though, right now, making sure Arthur wasn't about to kill himself seemed more important.

I picked up my phone and was about to call the blonde when I stopped. If I called, he would know I was coming. He would try to cover everything up, or maybe even leave the house so he didn't have to face me. My decision made, I slipped my phone in my jean pocket and threw on my jacket. I had to make sure he was okay.

I walked across the hall to Matthew's room and knocked once. "Yo, Matt."

"What, Al?" a quiet voice responded from inside. In any other situation, I would have smiled. He really needed to speak up more.

"I'm going to check up on Arthur, okay?" There was some shuffling from inside the room, then the door opened and Matthew was staring at him perplexedly.

"I thought you guys broke up," he stated. I huffed in annoyance.

"That's why I'm checking up on him! Do you not remember what he used to do to himself?" I countered. The older but shorter blonde stared at me blankly before understanding dawned on his face.

"Oh," was all he uttered. I scoffed at him. For the so-called "smart one" of the two of us, he sure was dumb sometimes.

"Yeah, 'oh.'"

I started down the steps. "I'll see you later, bro."

Half an hour later, I was sitting in the hospital. How did this happen? This wasn't how it was supposed to go! I was supposed to arrive at Arthur's house, find him in his room reading or knitting or whatever, talk to him, make up, and then leave with our relationship intact. Instead, I find Arthur collapsed in his bathroom, his throat slit, blood everywhere, and my fucking name carved into his chest. I remember screaming and cradling him to me, the calling 911. The ambulance had arrived and taken him away, though thankfully they let me ride with him.

Dried tears stained my puffy cheeks, and my hands cradled my face sorrowfully. I had called Arthur's brother, Collin, who had sounded frightened when I told him. I had given him the Hospital address and he arrived ten minutes later. He had been at a friend's house; he had left Arthur alone and unwittingly gave Arthur the chance to end his life. Collin had tried to get in contact with their parents, but couldn't get through. Some parents they were.

A sob threatened to rip out of my throat, but I swallowed it back down. Dear Lord please, please let him be okay, please help my baby be okay.

Then I remembered he wasn't mine anymore, and I had caused this. That's when I finally broke down.

Okay, people! It's finally here! Alfred's perspective of the story Let's Just Be Friends! You see now, people! Alfred wasn't as much of a douche bag as he seemed. Well, sort of. However, Arthur's fate now lies in your hands. Will he live or will he die? You must decide.

Who liked Evil!Kiku? It was sort-of hard to write, since I HATE AmePan with a passion, but I got through it. I know that this story isn't as good as the first one, but I believe that I did the best I could with what I gave myself so that's that.

To AmericaxEngland Forever: You actually inspired me to get up off my ass, plant it again at the computer, and finish writing the story. I congratulate you for doing this, and dedicate this to you XD Sorry if I sound creepy with that…

Oh, before I forget, if I don't get AT LEAST 9-13 reviews stating if they want our adorable Arthur to live or perish, I WILL NOT WRITE IT! Just saying. The odd numbers are there so that there isn't a tie ;)

Until next time (hopefully)~

EveryoneKnowsMeInWonderland