A/N sorry but this is more rant than fiction, it's baseD pretty closely on a break up I had recently.I wrote it to get it out of my system but if it gets reviews believe me I have plenty more to write about. Once again I own nothing but the idea.

I'm sitting here half crying again. I say half crying because all I want to do is sob, but there's nothing left to cry. So I'm sobbing without tears....or dignity. I should know better. It's been two months surely the worst should be over? I had convinced myself it was. I had filled my head with visions of a happy future. I had convinced myself that I didn't need him and that he didn't deserve me. Ok in truth he didn't deserve me. But try tell my heart that.

The night it was over is as fresh in my mind as our first kiss. The beginning and the end. It felt like a lifetime but it really only spanned four years. I cried that night, and I begged and pleading for a reprieve. We were both drunk having been at different parties that night and then met in a taxi on the way home. We argued, I lost my temper and throw my phone. It missed his head and flew into a ditch. I was in no mood to try and retrieve it. Then I went home. We fought a lot. We made up a lot. I would always get a text the next morning confirming that I drove him crazy but he loved me. It was our routine, as familiar to me as getting up in the morning and brushing my teeth. The next day was Valentines day. We had a date planned. I expected us to sleep off our respective problems with the other one. We would apologise in the morning before enjoying a wonderful night together. A few days later the cycle would repeat.

Sure enough the next morning my phone beeped. Mike.

Happy Valentines Day x

Simple. I smiled at its message and texted a similar one back. Then we fixed a time for our Valentines date. I went about my day as usual. I shopped, I had lunch with a girlfriend. I went home an put effort into choosing what to wear. My underwear matched, my body was slathered in sweet smelling lotion. My make up was carefully applied. I grabbed my bag and drove to out meeting place in town.

He was late. This was strange, he was never late. I checked my phone. No messages. So I text him. I didn't want to call in case he was driving.

Nearly an hour later and I had no word. I was beginning to panic. Two things began to brew in my mind. One was an accident....one was Eve. Is it wrong that I wished for the accident?

Eve had been a sticking point between us for months. I was moved to Smack down, while she went to Raw. Where Mike was. They struck up a friendship. I wasn't worried. He was a flirty guy, but he always came home to me. Sometimes I felt he took flirting too far. Sometimes there was one two many texts, one too many in jokes. There had been other friends before Eve but I had my way of dealing with them.

I would strike up a friendship with them when I was introduced. The I took one of two paths. I killed them with kindness, or I gave the impression I would just flat out kill them. The kindness one was easier, and more subtle. Girls develop an affinity for each other based on common threads. Bitching about men usually did the trick. One a friendship was formed the girls loyalty usually neutralised the flirting. Layla can attest to that.

The other method was harder and if done wrong could damage my social standing. Nobody wants to be the domineering girlfriend. This is where friends came in handy. The can subtly tell the girl stories, real or fabricated' about the last girl who tried it on with Mike. The stories never ended well. It helps that I'm one of the more built divas on the roster, nobody wants to cross me. This method is a last resort though. I've only utilised it once. Kelly Kelly hasn't said boo to me to this day, and will only even look at Mike if she's feeling really brave.

Unfortunately I hadn't been able to use either method on Eve. I'd never actually met her. We were always on different shows. And Mike had never invited me when he was out in her company. We had our own friends and I wasn't clingy. So it didn't bother me...but rather niggled at me. Why was I not allowed meet her?

It was the only thing that really niggled me in our whole relationship. Everything else was good. He told me he loved me all the time. He treated me like a princess. He listened to me complain and bought me chocolate when I was down. Our sex life was fantastic, only two days before Valentines night we had enjoyed an unusually torrid afternoon. I felt safe and happy as I lay in his arms after. Still both naked, my head nestled between his chest and the crook of his arm. I was content to not talk but rather just be hypnotised by the rise and fall of his breathing. We stayed like that a long time.

When I had to get up and catch my plane out to the show he kissed my forehead softly, whispered he loved me and let me out the door. Little did I know that would be the last loving contact we would have.

Two days later it was Valentines day and I was waiting in my car half praying for the accident. I had tried calling him now and got no answer. I started to panic. Then my phone beeped.

I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone.

Tears were now streaming down my perfectly made up face. The hot drops forced my mascara to leave my lashes and create black valleys down my cheeks. All subsequent texts and calls to him looking for answers were met with silence.

In my desperation I decided to call in on Morrison. If anybody knew Mike better than me it was him. He answered the door cheerily until he saw my face. I had stopped crying but I hadn't bothered to fix my make-up. He grabbed me in a big bear hug and inquired what was wrong. The tears were starting to roll again as I choked out 'is...Mike...cheating...on....me...'.

Morrison took a second to just stare and let his jaw drop a little.

'Why what happened Beth'

'We were supposed to meet tonight and he didn't show then sent me this...is he cheating John' I stuttered.

'Him and Eve are just friends Beth...'

I cut him off. I had never mentioned Eve's name. John knew he had fucked up.

'Beth listen he's not cheating on you...he's not...but he is probably at hers...they've got close...'.

My phone beeped again, cutting off his pathetic defence.

Ok I'll meet with you in an hour at the church.

I showed John the message and he took me inside to compose myself. And we talked. He was adamant that Mike hadn't cheated. Bur he was even worried for their friendship. The hour crawled by and finally I was able to leave Johns to meet Mike.

As my hands stopped shaking enough to turn the keys in my ignition. My car roared to life. I made the mistake of glancing in the mirror. I was a mess. I had moved the offending make up. Rather than some deathly looking clown I was faced with a much sadder face. A broken down me that knew in her heart already what she was about to hear. If my heart wasn't already breaking, the look in my own eyes would surely do the job.

So many things ran through my head in my way over. If he told me he was cheating, what would I do? Be defiant? Go to pieces? And what if he wasn't cheating? What if she is just a catalyst for our break-up. With Mike I was always worried he's find someone else. Eve was the polar opposite of everything I was. While she was slender and athletic, I was built and tough. Her dark hair contrasted to my icy blond mane. I was career driven and good at what I did. She coasted on her obvious looks. What if she had made Mike realise I wasn't his type? My head hurt from all the awful thoughts swirling around in it. I was a blackness that was now engulfing my entire being. Somebody had blocked out my sun.

He was already at the church when I arrived. He looked sad, and a little guilty. His head hung low and he stood wringing his hands. He spotted me and I motioned to my empty passenger seat. I wasn't prepared for what he had to say.....

A/N reviews are always appriciated!