A Bottle of New Beginning Tears

Written by Whimsical Symphony

Secret Santa gift for my friend, Carter-Shiraz. Done after his favourite pairing in the FFVII world, Cloud and Tifa. Hope that he enjoys, as well as all other readers. I'm not that used to writing one-shots, so I hope this turned out okay. Don't hesitate to offer any constructive criticism or say anything you want to say about it.

Tifa Lockhart looked at the door of the bar in longing again while her muscles ached with exhaustion, while her head hurt like a truck rammed into it. She wondered how long it would take for Cloud to stride through those doors again, keep her company. She wanted them to talk about old times, their adventures as a group as they trekked on, brandishing swords, guns, spears and staves in order to bring Sephiroth to justice. Or, she didn't mind talking about anything else either – or to have him play with Marlene and Denzel, take them out to ice cream like he used to when his mind didn't wander off to other places.

Now, she thought that even when she did talk to him, his mind lay elsewhere, in dense mist and fog as he thought of a flower garden and a church.

She paused her task in wiping the tables when the phone rang loudly. Sighing and stretching her arms out, she placed the wet rag down for a moment. She picked up the phone and said, as cheerily as she could muster during these times of harsh and painful nostalgia and terrible head and body aches, "Hello there, this is the Seventh Heaven. How may I help you?"

The voice Tifa expected on the other end sounded, and she smiled a little. Even despite her pain, she wanted to hear it, she wanted to hear him talk to her. "Hey, Teef. Wanted to check up on you. How are you and the kids?"

"Just fine, Cloud. How are you holding up?" Tifa wondered why she pretended that she was fine in front of the man she claimed to care for so much. Would that be considered twisted? But her pride wouldn't let her complain that he left her here to take care of Denzel and Marlene, lonely, working hard to support them in these times with Edge in not such a great condition either.

They talked about everything and anything while Tifa veiled everything behind a smile she knew he couldn't see. Her headache became worse, her heart felt like it trembled without ceasing even a little, and she felt cold, so cold.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find Aeris soon," Tifa reassured him gently when he told her of his worries, about no matter how hard he searched, he couldn't find her. Cloud could sense her, he said, he knew she existed somewhere, but no matter where he travelled, he couldn't find her, not ever – Aeris teased her with small traces of her presence, but she was never there, not truly.

Tifa didn't want to tell him that nothing would happen. Aeris lay in the forgotten capital, arms stretched outward like some angel of salvation as she sunk to the deep, watery depths that Cloud released her in, never touchable by human hands again. Sephiroth killed Aeris, and she wouldn't open her eyes any more.

"Thanks, Teef. I hope you're doing well. I'll try to come back and visit soon, once I search more for her," Cloud said to her comfortingly from the other end of the line, his voice a mere whisper. Tifa gave a light laugh and bid him farewell before she placed the phone on the receiver. Her fists trembled, her nails bit into the palm of her hands, tears began to spill from her eyes.

Always Aeris, Tifa thought, always Aeris – never Tifa Lockhart, never. Tifa shook with grief and leant her back against the wooden cupboards behind her, sinking slowly to her knees and placing her head upon them, curling into a small protective ball.

Tifa would never know that Marlene heard her soft sobs that night, wishing so badly to comfort the woman who protected her so.

"Aren't you tired, Tifa? Don't you want to take a nap? Maybe you should close the place tonight. You don't look so well…" Marlene rambled worriedly the next day. Tifa rose from her bed and made breakfast for her and the silent Denzel, who looked at her, just as concerned with the bags under her eyes and her pale, clammy skin.

They didn't need to know she felt like shit as well. Tifa wanted to remain strong in front of the kids at least. She didn't want to lose face in front of them. With a slightly forced smile, she answered, "Don't worry, Marlene. I'm all good. I just didn't sleep so well. Here're your eggs and bacon, both of you." Finishing up on the stove, she shut it off and placed both the eggs and bacon she cooked on two plates, still hot and sizzling, almost surrounding it instead of her. Humming slightly to herself, she placed both on the table with their cutlery. "Eat up."

They only took little nibbles, Marlene more so than Denzel. The latter remained silent, looking at her with eyes she couldn't quite explain the emotion in. Somehow, he reminded her much of Cloud, his silent gaze pinned on her as he read her like a book.

"It's Cloud, isn't it? Is he coming home soon? I miss him," Denzel admitted with a sigh, placing his knide and fork down. It clanged lightly against the ceramic of the plate. He had his eyes downcast, and his frown set in place as he thought of Cloud, his father figure, his male influence. He loved Tifa, certainly. But Tifa knew, as well as Denzel, and Marlene, that deep down inside, he'd always be Cloud's boy.

"Denzel!" Marlene chastised lightly, sounding far older than her years. "Just eat, okay? Cloud will come back eventually." But she sounded unsure of it herself as the silence reigned then, the silent ticking of the clock in the room and sounds them eating repeated over and over.

And suddenly everything repeated itself as she thought of Cloud, how Denzel missed him, how Tifa missed him, how Marlene missed him, and how he searched still, ceaselessly for Aeris. The hear engulfed her, and so did the cold, a painful meshing of feelings, like ropes intertwining where they couldn't be undone. Her head hurt like a stampede occurred within it, as if her head split open like two sides of a pill capsule. Then, everything grew darker and fuzzier – Denzel's hair blending in with his skin, Marlene's pink dress vibrant against grey, fog-filled surroundings.

And she passed out, from days of exhaustion, from days of not feeling well at all. From her constant exhaustion of thinking about Cloud and watching more as her train of thought visited those destinations still.

Vaguely, she could hear the worried cries of Marlene and Denzel, like birds on a clear day, singing, singing still in the black sky…

Marlene took it upon herself then to call Cloud and make it so that he would come home. Somehow, Marlene and Denzel managed to drag Tifa upstairs and into bed. Denzel took care of her now, hands trembling, trying to douse her forehead with the cool dampness of a wet handkerchief, struggling to keep his emotions at bay. Marlene knew Tifa overworked herself, worked much too hard ever since Cloud left in order to care for them. And for that especially, Denzel felt guilty no matter how much he loved Cloud, no matter how much he wished the man would walk into their lives and whisk Denzel around, round and round in circles as they laughed.

Marlene didn't want Tifa to suffer anymore. Her daddy left her here for Tifa to take care of her, and the woman worked so hard to do so. She needed to take care of Tifa in return. She needed to make sure Tifa wouldn't overwork herself into sickness again. Cloud needed to know.

The dial tone continued onward until a voice said, "Hello? Tifa?"

"This is Marlene," the little girl said with a frown. "You need to come back to look after Tifa." She didn't spend time beating around the bush, waste time that could be used to make Tifa lively and healthy again.

"Kiddo, is something wrong?" Cloud asked worriedly. "Is something wrong with Tifa?"

Finally, Marlene thought, Tifa became the first thought in Cloud's mind – thought of her health, thoughts of her well-being, if she was okay. Marlene heard Tifa sob on the floor of the bar nearly every day after customers went home, and she tried to stifle them, like a plug in a drain, so that none of them would hear them. Tifa suffered daily, Tifa needed help. Tifa needed Cloud most of all to comfort her and tell her that everything would be okay, that he cared for her and needed her in his life. Tifa right now felt unneeded, and Marlene knew what a painful feeling it was.

"She fainted – she got sick from overworking herself, Cloud. You need to come and see her. You haven't been around enough!" Marlene all but cried. She needed him to realize that what he'd been doing, leaving Tifa all by herself to do everything, to take care of two children and run a bar, was wrong and not justifiable.

He remained silent on the other end of the line, and Marlene knew he felt that guilt firmly, not a lingering, passing fancy, but a thought that he suffered over.

When Tifa awoke slowly, colours melded together and focused more, sharp, rendered images she could not finally see. Her head pounded mercilessly, like drums in a band, and she felt cold and feverish – like all the heat abandoned her body and refused to return to her. She heard a voice then, and wondered if she heard things then, if she dreamt of better days when she didn't feel quite so alone, like she walked in a world filled with phantoms, never real people.

"Teef… I'm sorry, I never knew…" the voice said – Cloud's voice. Tifa had no doubt she imagined him, the concern in his voice she longed for so long, the concern she wanted to truly be only for her. But when she opened her eyes fully, when she finally saw that she slept in a bed then, she saw Cloud on a chair beside her bedside. When he saw her then looking at him, his eyes widened in surprise. He looked exactly as she remembered him. She thought because of how long he had been gone away, that when he returned, he would have looked different, been a different person. He raised his hand and caressed her forehead gently. "How do you feel, Teef? You've been out for a while. I was nearby… so…" Cloud trailed off awkwardly, not quite knowing what to say then. He wanted to say many things, but didn't know where to start. Almost as if too much choice existed then, a labyrinth of unsaid words with no way out.

No, he still remained just as awkward as he had been before he left for the first time. Almost involuntarily, her eyes watered up and she murmured, "I'm okay Cloud. I'm not imagining you here, am I?" An almost bitter joke considering everything she went through without him, everything.

But she could feel the warmth of his hand on her forehead, the comforting heat when it flowed into her once more, protecting her from the chill that swallowed her whole.

"No you're not imagining it," Cloud replied with a frown on his lips. She saw him clench his other fist, tense as the skin turned white, tension like a bow drawn back all the way. "I was wrong. I don't know what I was thinking. Aeris is… dead. I should have realized it sooner… I didn't mean to leave you here all by yourself. It was stupid. And you got sick because of me." His voice turned bitter, sad, like piano music played in minor key. Then, he continued more, his voice wavering, his eyes surely burning from suppressed tears. "I just thought I felt her, you know? But I guess in the process I neglected you, Teef. Sorry…"

That's all she wanted to hear, ever. She wanted him to face it himself. Tifa didn't want to lose Aeris either – the woman had been like a sister to her, listening to her, giving her kindness in a world that kindness had all but forsaken. Aeris loved everyone unconditionally. Aeris still fit in with the rest of them as family and they would always love her unconditionally too. Everyone from AVALANCHE – Barrett felt quite a bit too, especially since Aeris saved his little girl. Even Yuffie who pretended she cared for nothing but Materia loved her.

"I'm okay, Cloud. It's fine. I miss her too," Tifa said, her own voice breaking, shattering like mirrors. "I'm glad you're back." And she looked at him with a small smile back on her lips. "For how long this time?"

She didn't want to get her hopes up if he decided to leave again. Cloud would always be a free spirit, wandering wherever he pleased. Tifa knew she couldn't stop that. And she wouldn't be able to stop his fixation on Aeris either.

"For a long time, Teef. I'm done with this. It's… there are more important matters, like you and the kids. I just lost track of that," Cloud told her, a small smile on his lips too. When his fingers moved from touching her forehead to her cheek, she flushed a little. "I'm going to take care of you now. You've never been taken care of the same way that you take care of other people. It'll all be okay now, okay?"

Tifa didn't want to believe him, she wanted to believe she'd always be alone. But when his lips met hers, the soft skin massaging hers, when his hot breath mingled with hers, she forgot all about her worries. When Tifa kissed him back slowly and smiled against his lips, she didn't feel so cold anymore. Heat and warmth embraced her then and she knew that she finally didn't need to feel alone. Cloud would take care of her, and she would take care of him - and finally someone told her everything would be okay.

Somehow, she just knew that Marlene called Cloud's number. She would have to take both her and Denzel out for ice cream later.

"So, does this mean Cloud's staying for good?" Denzel whispered to Marlene outside the door. "He'd better."

"I think Cloud's going to stay for a very, very long time. And you know, I'm going to ask Tifa to buy us ice cream later!" Marlene chirped. And she dragged Denzel along behind her as they both chattered on about how new good times would begin again and she would never see Tifa cry anymore, and they would never have to see Tifa collapse from exhaustion. She knew Cloud would take care of them all now, he'd always be present.

And they all knew, from that moment onward, everything would be okay. Though, Marlene hoped that Cloud didn't get sick from taking care of Tifa.

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