When Cowboys and Vegetarian Tanzanians Are Cohabitant

By Ms. Kinnikufan

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.

"I wonder if this is bestiality?" Terry pondered out loud.

Dik Dik, who had been suggestively cuddling Terry, was taken aback.

"Terry...that does not put one in the mood for love." Dik Dik turned his back.

"Oh, c'mon Dik Dik. It's a perfectly legitimate thought. I'm a human and you're a gazelle person."

"That thought didn't turn you off yesterday, or the day before or in the shower or in Ikeman's office, or on the dinner table, so why the hell are you bringing it up now?

"It really strike me until just now. I mean look at you! You've got antlers. You've sort-of got fur! But no tail! Why the hell don't you have a tail?"

"Oh so you're saying I'm ugly now! Thanks a whole damn lot." Dik Dik was huffy.

"No, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that I thought you would have a tail. I mean aren't gazelles suppose to have a tails. You'd look so cute with a tail." Terry countered.

"SEE! There you go ago, you're suggesting that I'm ugly without a tail!"

"That wasn't what I saying at all. I was just saying you'd look cute with a tail."

"Oh. So now you're suggesting I mutilate my body with plastic surgery just to please you."

"NO! Not at all! Not at all my dear!"

"Damn it, I told you not to call me that! I also told you to stop using my favorite pans to cook meat! Yet the past couple of days my favorite frying pan distinctly smell like bacon grease. I keep telling you, use you're own frying pans to cook your pig flesh!"

"But I always clean them out real good!"

"Can't you understand? I don't want to eat food cook in pans in which animal flesh has been cooked in! It's like cannibalism to me!"

"So that brings us back to my original point. Is me having sex with you bestiality for us? And not just for me, but for you too! I mean it would probably be most natural for you to sleep with other gazelle-people..."

"Damn it, Terry! Are saying we shouldn't be together because we're "unnatural"? Doesn't your own religion say yo having sex with another human man is wrong?"

"Damn it Dik Dik, you know I have been a Unitarian since birth. Besides opinions differ from church to church. It's unfair to railroad them into one big stereotype."

"Damn it, Terry when you bring up something like bestiality and apply it to us, it justs...it just sound less like you're trying to break us up or that you'd rather be with someone else then me."

"Dik Dik-"

"That really hurts me Terry. You know how many people have used that excuse with me. And that just you homo sapiens, a guy who was a springbok person tried to use that argument. It was very flimsy and I kicked him in the balls. Hard. Seven times."

"Dik Dik, I wasn't trying to hurt you. It wasn't suppose to be a hurtful thought..."

"You suggested I was some sort of animal. Animals can't communicate with humans. Animals can't walk on two feet. Animals can't vote. Animals are put into cramped little pens, force-fed and then slaughter for food. People believe it's all right to kill animals for sport. And though I believe animals should be treated better, I still don't want to be treated like an animal. Or be suggested that I'm a complete animal. Because I can do things like vote and drive and cook and contribute to the greater good. "

"Ah'm sorry. It really wasn't met to be a hurtful thought. It was meant to be...to be a kinky thought I guess." Terry wrapped his arms around Dik Dik.

"Ah love you Dik Dik Van Dik."

"I know...but you're still sleeping on the couch with the cat for using my frying pans."

"But he hates me. He always sheds me on while I'm sleeping."

"Don't besmirch Randy's good name, Now on the couch you go."

Terry grumbled as he left the room. Randy was there waiting for him, just waiting to she on him while he slept.