The sirens faded, and reality set in. Liam had been permitted into the ambulance, but the rest of sat on the curb, now fully dressed as we waited for Raina to find the keys to the car so we could get to the ER. Hannah had been revived, but her condition was unstable to say the least. I don't think I've ever sobered up so quickly, but unlike the other girls, I couldn't cry, but I didn't understand why. At this point, I should be breaking down, sobbing, because one of my dear friends is in the hospital ICU. It's because you're so fucked up, and you've been through tragedy before. I closed my eyes, no, I will not think about all of that again. Not of him, not of that night, not of any of it.
"Babe," Harry's voice was quiet, and worried, but other than that, no emotion came with his words as he shook me to attention. When I looked up, his tear rimmed eyes met mine and for a split second I saw everything that I hadn't understood. When one of the boys was hurting, they all hurt, and now that pain was ten times worse. So much loss had occurred around them lately, and it was taking a toll on all of them. Our gaze continued unbroken, and his lips parted slightly as he sucked in a breath. His emerald eyes sparkled as a tear rolled down his cheek. At that moment, my heart shattered into a billion tiny bits, and all I could do was take him into my arms, and hold him like my life depended on it. Because maybe it did. Maybe I was meant to be here for this to all happen, and to be here for Harry.
Through harsh, deep breaths Harry whispered in my ear, "Please G, don't ever leave me." That was my breaking point, and my emotions went over the edge, as did my sanity. Thoughts, memories and everything possible swirled into a huge mess in my mind and I let the tears flow freely as Harry led me to the car and allowed me to curl up on his lap in the car. I wiped furiously at my face, trying to dry my skin, until Harry silently wiped them away with his hand and pulled me up so that my head rested in the crook of his neck. His scent was slightly calming, but an overwhelming sadness kept my tears flowing.
"Harry," I whimpered and when he softly said what I released another sob, "I'll never leave." He held me tight as emotion took over, and nothing else made any sense. I just cried, and didn't stop.
"Crying isn't going to help Hannah any, so why don't you all hush up," Raina snapped from behind the wheel and we all silenced ourselves for a moment to give her a look of disbelief.
"Yeah," Sara sniffled, "Well neither is being a crabby bitch, so just get us to the hospital." Raina's attention left the road for only a millisecond, and when I looked in the review mirror, her gaze met mine. Her eyes were blank, and emotionless. And I thought I was bad.
Harry's hand rested softly on my lower back as he led me towards the waiting room. My hear beat faster with every step we took away from Hannah's room. They'd let us in the ICU, solely because Paul had finally caught up with the boys, and was not happy to say the least. She looked indescribably normal, like she was sleeping, and that was what scared me the most. Is this what death was supposed to look like? Normal? Not like….no. You will not let him back into your mind. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. Liam was in bad shape. His face was red and swollen from crying and the first thing we did when we got there was hug him. Now, we were all cooped up in the waiting room, the door closed and the tv on, a soap opera playing quietly under the sounds of our sniffles, hiccups and coughs. I turned to Harry, who was staring down at me intently and when our eyes met, another flood of emotion fought to break through my barriers, but I didn't let myself break again. I closed my eyes, and breathed deeply. When I opened them, Harry was looking around the room, a pained expression on his face.
Sara was asleep, but fidgeting every now and then. Her eyes would flutter and she would make soft sounds. After spending consecutive summers with her, I knew what that meant. Sara was having a nightmare, and it was most likely about Hannah. Niall had one arm loosely around her shoulders and was stroking her hair. He was still crying, but not as much. We were all hurting, and not trying to hide it. Louis sat on the floor, below Tara's head. She was running her fingers through his tousled hair, trying to calm him down. She was probably the calmest one here, but you could still see guilt and sadness in every movement or expression she made. Louis just stared at the ground, hands on his knees and legs to his chests. No one was themselves, because we couldn't be without the others. We were a family, and family's struggled together.
"I know this is probably a bad time," Niall whispers, his voice hoarse from crying, "but would someone mind finding me some food?"