Rating:K+

Pairing: Simon Bellamy & Alisha Bailey

Summary: We follow through Alisha after Future Simon's death (contain spoilers)

The Rest Of My Life

Simon. My Simon. Dead. Gone. Abandoned Me. On My Own. Fuck.

I sighed in frustration as I got up from my bed on Saturday, the day right after his death. I foolishly had decided to stay in my own house but I suddenly woke up feeling it was just a bad dream. I looked at my clock, half past six in the morning!

My community service started at nine so I hurried to get changed, not waking my parents and half ran towards his underground lair.

I step out of the lift after the metal doors rattle open and then slam shut behind me. I look around. Maybe he's still here...

"SIMON!" I yelled but no reply. My body starts to tremble; I feel the sobs in my chest as the tears well in my eyes. I run round, checking everywhere, even under the mattress! But he wasn't there.

"Simon..."I say weakly and my knees tremble. I heave in a deep sigh and the tears jumped from my eyes over my eyelids and raced down my cheeks, my mascara running alongside it, leaving a long deep black line down my face.

I grab his pillow and inhale his scent, still lingering on his tissue refusing to leave their surroundings. I sink into his bed; throw the duvet on top of me, hugging my pillow tightly to my face.

I sob, my body heaving as my black stains of mascara smudge onto the white pillow.

"Why did you die? Why did you leave me? Why couldn't you stay with me? I'm in love with you! I still am and now you've left me to wait for normal Simon to love me, but I know that he won't be losing his virginity with me! That means I have to watch him flirt with other women, see YOU flirt with other woman and sit there like some heartbroken lover. It's so hard to believe that only a few days ago I was in this bed with you! Why did you leave me Simon!" I shouted, thumping my fists against the mattress and sobbing uncontrollably.

What if Normal Simon never noticed me? I'm a bitch, slag, slut and have related power to prove it.

Time for a change

I hadn't even stepped through the door to the community centre before I had Nathan, Kelly and Curtis staring at me, eyes wide and mouths hanging open.

Nathan was the first to speak. "Who…who are you?"

"It's me." I stated in a monotone, walking calmly towards the locker room.

I heard Nathan whisper to the others "I thought she was a hooker!"

I then heard a sure smack in the face from Kelly followed by "Shut upp ya prick!"

I smiled and walked to my locker which was in front of the mirror.

My appearance had changed. My nails were plain; my clothes covered me up, so no cleavage showing. I still wore my trademark belt with my ugly orange tracksuit as I slipped into it. I wore normal lose hanging jeans and trainers. I probably looked a lot cleaner and innocent than I did beforehand. I buttoned my jumpsuit up completely and I sighed as I slammed my locker closed, locked it and slipped back into the other room.

"Sooo" I started, avoiding the subject of my change. I should also mention I wore no make up except some clear lip gloss. "What are we doing today?"

Kelly was the first to pick up my mood and smiled encouragingly at me. "That prick…"she said, motioning to Shaun's office behind her. "Mentioned somit yesderday like that we was gunna be painting some more bloody benches andd…that we were not gunna be like 'yellin our heads off at old peeps like last time.'"

I nodded, in acknowledgement. "Riight.." I looked around and realised Simon was not present.

"Where is he?" I asked Kelly, she would know I meant Simon.

"He's running a bit late me thinks" she said. "I'm gunna hav a fag." She added and walked outside- which left me with two boys still gaping at me.

"What do you two want?" I asked, annoyed.

"Hmmm…" Curtis sighed. I glared at him, my eyes glinting anger, a sign he knew to avoid.

Nathan was unaware of my anger. He walked forward and grabbed my arm.

"OI!" Curtis and I both yelled as his pupils widened and he started leaning towards me.

"I want to shove my big juicy dick into you so hard that you won't realise your screaming my name!" he hissed menacingly and he smacked me right across the face and pushed me to the concrete floor.

My eyes closed in instinct and prepared for the bang as my head hit the floor. But it didn't come. Instead I felt someone catch me, strong and secure.

For one wild moment I thought it was my Simon, back from the grave and opened my eyes to see him and kiss him. But it was Normal Simon I saw holding me in his arms as Curtis and Kelly grabbed Nathan, who was clinging at my leg, off me.

I looked down at Nathan and kicked him in the arm, making him let go of me. He wailed like a baby but he looked at me blankly and whitened. Usually I'd make Kelly help me kick the shit out of him. But I felt bad about thinking about it.

"Riight Nathan, 'ow many bloody time do we have the say tah ya about trying the get a shag off Alisha?" she roared and he covered his ears in fright at Kelly yelling at him.

I looked up at Simon and his eyes met mine, his eyes were hesitant but still held the Simon I loved in him. I blinked and so did he, and I realised I was crying, only slightly. I forgot that he was holding me without my power affecting him.

I gasped, trying to get the feeling away, I couldn't fall into that sense of security again until he was ready which I knew Simon wasn't.

I smiled kindly at him so it wouldn't upset him and he realised me, helping me get back to my feet. I got back up and looked at Nathan, cowering in the corner. Kelly raised her fist to hit him. I held it back and she turned to me.

"I'm fine Kelly, you don't have to…you know...umm.." everyone was staring at me in confusion.

But Shaun chose this time to appear from his office, chewing gum and paid no notice to us as he spoke.

"Right you lazy bastards, there's some walls outside here that needs re-painting. Get to it sharpish!" and he went back to his office.

I hurried to the store cupboard, breathing heavily at everyone's stares and grabbed the white paint pots. I easily took the lid off one, grabbed a paintbrush and went out the backdoor to the wall which had been gratified on. I dripped my paintbrush in carefully and, making sure it wouldn't drip, raised it to the wall and carefully started brushing round the edges.

I felt calm and at peace as I focused on painting the walls, carefully, not sensing when I was joined by the others, still giving me odd looks. I closed my eyes, breathed in and out calmly and continued my work, grieving for the man who I loved that was gone.

When my paint pot was empty, I looked up and saw the sun setting and my wall nearly almost done. I dropped my paintbrush and wiped the sweat from my forehead. My hand was trembling and I started at it carefully. I sighed and turned to see Simon sitting behind me on the bench. He was looking at me, not like a stalker but with curiosity. I smiled warmly at him and blushed slightly.

I went to sit down next to him and yawned quietly. The noise seemed to make him nervous.

"Have you got a drink? I'm parched" I said yawning again slightly louder.

Simon nervously picked up a water bottle from the floor beside the bench and, hands trembling, handed it to me. I reached out and took his hand to stop it trembling. Then I slid the bottle from his grip. I smiled at him.

He looked shocked and…terrified?

"Don't worry" I whispered. "I won't hurt anyone. Not anymore."

I was done being a bossy bitch. His death had changed me and I think I understood why he had to die. I had to adjust and become a woman who would change as well as Normal Simon. This is the new Alisha Bellamy.

Now here is a look inside Simon's head (as a treat at the end of each chapter if you review)

I got back to the community centre back in time it seems. I walked through the door to see Nathan grabbing Alisha's wrist and the lust fill his eyes. A part of me grew angry at once – how dare he touch her like that!

I strode forward just as he smacked her and pushed her to the floor, her eyes closed ready for the impact. I knelt down and caught her in my arms as she fell. She looked shocked that someone had caught her and in one of those rare moments, I felt good about myself.

Alisha was the only person or friend I had who seemed to actually be there for me and well…be good to me. She had always looked nice and pretty but when I saw her this morning…well she was beautiful.

She was the only one who really stood up and, even though it was once, she still apologized for treating me badly. She never has, not really because everyone treated me like that. But it was kind of her to say sorry anyway, it meant a lot.

I mean, I'm a shy social outcast, a nobody, Billy-no-mates and I had Alisha, the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen say sorry to me.

But then when I looked at her properly, I saw she had changed her whole appearance. She wasn't wearing her normal showing off clothes, her curls hadn't their usual bouncy-ness and her face was free of make up, no eyeliner or mascara which normal remained on her face. The only make up she did wear was lip-gloss and I found it hard to focus on anything but her lisp.

But I shook myself quickly – no on will ever love you Simon.

I ignored my mental voice and studied on how Alisha had buttoned her orange jumpsuit up completely like I wore it. I felt slightly touched by this gesture.

When I saw her later on and she was calmly painting the wall outside, silent and working carefully and patiently. I also noticed that her face had a ghost of loss about it. Like she'd lost someone special to her. Maybe she was more hurt about Cutis's break up than she thought.

When she turned around and blushed to see me sitting there and looking at her, I felt slightly stupid. Why was I acting like such a stalker?

She asked for a drink and I offered it to her, my hand trembling as it always did. She surprised me by taking my hand and sliding the bottle from my hand slowly, smiling at me.

Then she said something that triggered a weird feeling inside me:

"Don't worry" she whispered. "I won't hurt anyone. Not anymore."

I looked at her in confusion as she took a swig of the drink. She winked at me with confidence and I smiled timidly back at her.

Maybe I could actually become friends with Alisha, maybe I wasn't as desperate as I thought I was.

"I know you won't hurt anyone Alisha. You never do" I stated clearly and she met my eyes. Her gaze froze on me and then she seemed to think quickly.

"You're so sincere Simon. That's what I like about you. You're always caring for everyone. I appreciate it even if the others don't." she said, and she looked like she meant it.

I smiled wider and knew I wasn't a desperate idiot. Someone cared, Alisha cared.

I wasn't a nobody. I was somebody.

(RIP Future Simon) so upset when he died xx - but normal simon is still here!