A/N: This is my first twilight story, and English is not my first language either.I am terrible sorry, if my English is not good enough. If you're a Bella fan don't read this. I could love to see some reviews. Thanks for reading. :D

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, or anything to do with the Twilight saga. SM owns everything.

Pairings: Edward Cullen and Jessica Stanley
Title: I've Lost Myself
Warning about the story: Drugs, alcohol, adult themes (not lemons, short limes), and language.

~ 1 ~

This was a big move for the family Cullen. They were going to start a new life in a new place. Esme was excited about the new house; she did all the decorations for the new household. But not all the Cullen's were excited to live in a new state. Edward was the one, who think that moving to new place was danger to the family. He always put family first, and he loves his family, and didn't want to leave them.

"Edward Cullen, hurry up!" Alice screamed from the living room, Edward just mumbled. "I heard that!"

Vampires… Edward thought, and just chuckled. He hated the good hearing. But he knew, that if wasn't for Carlisle he wouldn't be alive. But sometimes he misses his human life; he wished to be a human again. Edward went downstairs, all the family was in the living room waiting for him. It was the beginning new start.

Edward loves and like the way his family was, he couldn't ask for anything else. But sometimes, he was jealous of his brothers even of his adoptive dad, everyone had their mate, he felt alone, he wished he could find his true mate.

Edward smiled, as he watched his family leaving the living room. He sighed heavily; he wasn't able to go outside. Edward turned around, when he felt a hand in his shoulder. His pixie sister was standing next to him; she smiled at him, showing her white teeth.

"Everything is going too alright, I saw it." Alice told him, "It going to fun in Forks, it's the great place for us. We have been in Alaska for four years, it time to move on."

Edward just nodded, with a smile in his face he followed Alice outside. Everyone was in their cars; Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie were waiting for Alice. Emmett Jeep's horn was heard.

"Hey, buddy see 'a in the airport."

"Yeah," Edward said.

Alice got easily in the backseat of the Jeep next to Jasper. She waved Edward goodbye with her tiny hand. Edward waved back. He watched as the Jeep disappeared in the distance.

Edward climbed the backseat of the Mercedes. He tried to smile to Carlisle, but it didn't work out, he didn't smile at all. Carlisle sighed.

"Edward you knew this was coming…" Edward nodded, "Everything is going to be alright. We're family."

"I know that, dad." Edward said, looking to Carlisle and Esme. Esme gave him a small smiled.

I hope, that Alice and Carlisle are right, he thought.

.

.

.

.

Jessica was getting ready for the big party. She love been around of boys, she like to hook up with guys, she like the way boys smelled. She knew, that was wrong in a way, but she liked. But boys weren't all that she liked, she liked to get high, get drunk and try everything. Her best friend Angela was always there when she had a breakdown.

Her cell phone rang. She picked up, and looked at the screen, it read it; Angela. Jessica rolled her eyes, don't get her wrong, she love her, she is like a sister to her. But Angela could be annoying sometimes.

No one could understand her. After that night, she felt dirty, betrayed; she wouldn't wipe out those nightmares that follow her everywhere. But she did something wrong, no one knew what happened to her that night. She tries not to have breakdown there and now. She quickly answered the phone.

"Hey, Angie."

"Hey, are you still up for the movie night with me and Ben right?"

Oh shit! Jessica thought I totally forgot the movie night. But she didn't like to be around when Ben and Angela were showing their love. That wasn't their movie night anymore, it was Ben's. Since Angela was dating Ben, the movie night changed; there was only action and fights movies.

"Angie, don't get me wrong, but I just meet this hottest guy and well I am going to a party tonight."

"Jess when are you going to stop?"

"Please don't start."

"People are starting to talk," Jessica could hear someone talking in the other line, she knew it was Ben. "I am worried about you; you have changed since that party."

Jessica shut her eyes, she didn't want to recall that night. That was three years ago, but that three years haven't helped her at all. She could still see that event clearly as water in her mind.

"I have to go…" Jessica said in a low voice. "See 'a later."

"Ok, bye." Angela said with a sigh, "just be careful alright?"

"Always," before hang up, Jessica said hi to Ben.

Jessica picked up her favorite photo of her and Angela. She looked happy, and also Angela, it was a good memory. It was taken in Halloween, three years ago.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, and knock. Jessica faced the door of her room. Her room was painted in purple; she had a lot of posters of her favorite bands. She got a queen bed facing the window. Two nightstands were placed at the side of the bed. In front of the bed was a small dressing table.

"Come in," Jessica said.

Her step brother was in. David was her abettor. He was a good looking guy, he was black haired, and his eyes were ocean blue. He works out almost every day, but he like to get high and drink a lot like Jessica and he was a womanizer. But he was proud of her.

"Where are you going?" he asked, eyeing her.

"To a party," Jessica walked up to her dressing table, to finish her make-up. "Can you cover up for me?"

"I don't know…"Jessica faced him, she did the puppy eyes. "Oh, don't do that. I hate it when girls do that."

"C'mon, you have done this many times." She walked up to him, "You're my favorite bro."

"Duh, dumbass, I'm your only brother." David hit her soft in her head. Jessica giggled. "So are you going to cover up for me?"

"Let me think about," David posed in a thinking position, "of course. But if mama find out, I don't know anything."

"Thanks," they hugged."You're the best brother ever."

"Nah, I'm a big asshole," David murmur. "I'm leaving, so you can get ready."

Jessica smiled, as David shut the door behind him. She finished her wake-up, she liked to natural. She knew boys didn't like girls with a lot of make-up on. Plus she didn't like either, some girls looked like clowns.

At ten o'clock Jessica, sneak out of her room by the window. She has done this many times, and it really didn't matter to her if their parents find out. She was seventeen now, she was an adult now. Went to the party, she had a lot of fun. She drunk and get high, everything around her was a blur.

The lights, the people and the world.