[Disclaimer Of The Gods] I should begin by pointing out that any inaccuracies in the following story are either artistic license or artistic allowed-ignorance license, by which I mean telling me will not change anything. ("No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it.") I know very little about Earthbound, so don't expect Ness to start telling old war stories, or even mention Jeff, for example.

[Author's Notes] Those who have read "The Battle For Digital City" have an idea of what to expect here: this is unashamedly biased towards my personal opinions (ie. Captain Falcon is a jerk) and is essentially a story about different heroes banding together against a major threat. A very feel-good story, not to mention riddled with my style of humour (or so I'd like to think). Hopefully you'll enjoy, but then again, this could be a long one, and I don't have a great track record (see "Legend of the Masks", Zelda) one long stories. The next chapter is guaranteed soon (already written) but how soon may depend on reviews. (Should you guess who the villain is, keep it to yourself. Nobody likes a wise#%&.) Anyway, enjoy, and review!

SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE: ADVENTURE MODE

In the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario stood on a bridge. It was at the core of Bowser's Castle, and suspended him over a lake of molten lava that bubbled angrily.

At the other end, Bowser stomped to the edge of the bridge, making it sway slightly. Above and behind him, Peach struggled to unlock the cage she was trapped inside.

"So it is-a down to you, an' it is-a down to me," said Mario, pulling off the doctor's coat he had used to sneak inside.

"My favourite part," growled Bowser. "But you are hardly my match."

"That's what we are-a for!" cried Luigi, as he rode Yoshi through a high tower window and down to the bridge.

"Interesting," Bowser rumbled. "This will be more of a challenge." He stepped forward onto the bridge and suddenly found that his weight, plus that of two plumbers and a dragon, was too much for the ancient bridge, which snapped neatly and dropped them to the lava.

In Hyrule, a young Link stepped up the marble stairs to the Pedestal of Time. Far behind him, the Princess Zelda resisted the insistent pulling of her Sheikah attendant, waiting to see what would happen to her chosen hero. And in the shadows, Ganondorf waited for his moment. Link reached out, grasped the hilt of the Master Sword, and pulled.

"It is mine!" declared the Gerudo magician, leaping toward the shaft of blue light that leapt from the floor. Zelda's eyes widened in fear, and she pulled away from Impa, rushing into the Temple of Time.

In Viridian City, Ash cried out: "Mewtwo, stop this! It has to end now!" The genetic Pokémon floated in the sky above him, raining destruction on the area around them.

"It is time to atone. Team Rocket will be destroyed for what they have done, and I will do it," he replied, psychic waves carrying his message without breath. "Their greatest weapon will be their downfall."

"This is crazy, Pikachu. He's going to blow up the whole city if we don't take him out. Go for it- thunderbolt attack!"

"Pikachu!" said the lightning mouse, racing into battle. He arced electricity at the psy-cat, but a simple gesture sent it sparking into the wreckage instead. Away from Nurse Joy, another Pokémon ran forward.

"Pichu!" cried the baby mouse, firing his own bolt at Mewtwo.

"It's not working!" said Ash, beginning to despair. "We'll need a miracle to get out of this… one… huh?" A pink ball was floating down from above, carried on the breeze. It landed and held a small stick above its head.

"Jigglypuff… jiggly-y-y-y puff… jiggly-y-y-y…" she sang.

In Sector Z, Falco said "I'm going in, Fox. Keep me covered," and rolled out of formation. "Chew on this, monkey-boy!" Falco's Arwing fired a salvo of laser bolts at the Venomian warship and started charging an energy torpedo.

"Falco, how can I cover you when you're doing a hundred and twenty through an asteroid field? You might as well ask me to shoot my own wing off." Falco was silent for a moment as he looped around and between a pair of colliding rocks.

Then he came back on the communicator: "Would it be that hard? You're already pretty good at shooting your mouth off."

"Am I the squad leader here or not? Get back on my wing, we have a capital ship to protect," said Fox, pulling around aft.

"Fox, behind you- missile incoming!" yelped Slippy.

"I'm on it!" said Falco, and floored the accelerator.

In the former Kingdom of Altea, blades clashed as Marth rode into battle after his Altean Knights. They had a separate mission, and he was sure that Roy could handle it just fine. The prince was needed elsewhere, and any guards in his way were going to be greatly disappointed.

An armored figure appeared from nowhere, halberd glinting in the sun. In a flicker of motion, Falchion was in Marth's hand, sweeping to block. The two clashed, steel against steel locked in a contest of wills.

"Keep going, you've got to-" Roy cut himself off as a third soldier stabbed at him from the side. "Okay, maybe you can hang around a little longer."

"Glad to hear I'm wanted," replied Marth. "Down!" Roy dropped to the ground, dodging a slicing blade and leaving his attacker open to Marth's sudden return strike. That done, Roy sprang upright. He scanned the battlefield, and noticed slightly uneven odds.

"Were eight-to-one odds part of the plan?" he asked, back-to-back with the prince. "Because this doesn't seem like the kind of thing you usually try."

"Something is seriously wrong," Marth agreed, as more enemies charged the Knights.

On Icicle Mountain, Popo asked, "How much further, Nana?" His voice was faint against the howling winds, but she heard. He struggled to find another handhold on the sheer icy surface.

"Not long now!" his sister replied, unseen on a ledge above him. "But I don't like the looks of that buzzard. It looks like it's seen us!"

"In this?" demanded Popo, meaning the blinding white blizzard that raged around them. "I can't even see you, and you think you see a buzzard that sees me?"

"Just climb," Nana ordered. She heard another sound in the wind, and suddenly a dark shape raced past her, downward. "Fast!"

"What's the- oh." With the sound of a glass hammer striking an anvil, a spike of rock dropped by the buzzard drove into the mountain wall and broke the glacial surface. Even the ledge Nana watched from began to crack as Popo fell toward oblivion.

On the first lap of Big Blue, Captain Falcon pulled around the corner and put the pedal to the floor, racing into first place. But that was only a momentary lead, and unless he did something else, people were going to be giving him grief for the next two laps. Launching at high speed over a jump, the captain charged the hull of the Blue Falcon and sent it into a psychotic spin of destruction.

In that moment, Falcon realised how frazzled he must have been after the run-in with White Cat. He hadn't been thinking properly. You couldn't change direction in midair, and the shape of the track here meant that he was on a one-way course, and the destination was DOWN.

He knew this jump. He remembered seeing people crash and burn on this jump. In an unusual flash of philosophy, Captain Falcon wondered who would remember him.

In Dream Land, Kirby drifted on the breeze, scanning the islands below. It was a peaceful day, but he couldn't be too careful. In fact, down below… He dove toward the ground, and as he got closer Kirby saw a dark armored figure moving through the woods. It was slashing without thought, carving down the foliage recklessly.

It occurred to Kirby as he prepared to stomp the Sword Knight into flatware that there was something odd about its behaviour. It wasn't trying to hide or conceal its rampage.

No time to worry about that. "Bad choice of firewood, ya tin-foil idiot!" Kirby began his transformation into a rock-

THUNK.

-And was taken out of the sky by a thrown sword. Of course, it was always possible that there was a Cutter Knight, waiting to ambush him when the first one caught his attention.

"Got to pay closer attention," laughed one of the evil knights, standing over Kirby. He drew back his sword and prepared to stab.

On Earth, or some version of it, Ness walked in the night. The world was a simpler place now that his quest was complete. And yet here he was, out at night again, searching the cliff at the edge of Onett. There was something drawing him to that place, something that called to his powers.

He hadn't bothered to contact the others for this. Ness knew he could count on them, but this was a call that said to come alone. Entirely unnecessary risk, he was sure of that. But logic wasn't going to change his decision. From the old crater where the meteorite had fallen, a bright light shone.

In the Kongo Jungle, DK swung from branch to vine, racing toward K. Rool's headquarters. Diddy and Daisy were trapped there, and only he could get them out. It would take some thrashing first, but that was never a problem. He knew K. Rool's minions almost as well as he knew this jungle.

Speaking of which, the vine he had just grabbed felt strangely scaly.

"Oh, man. This only happens in bad movies!" protested DK as the snake's fangs snapped shut, preparing to pump a few litres of venom into his wrist.

In deep space, the gunship belonging to Samus Aran was going through evasive manoeuvres that would have driven anyone stark staring insane if space featured a 'down'. As it was, the famous bounty hunter was currently trying violently to not throw up into her helmet while she repaired the inertial dampers.

"I hate space pirates," she commented, as sparks rained out of the expulsion manifolds. She ignored them and tried to patch the damaged conduits.

"I know," the ship's new AI replied.

"How are we doing?" asked Samus, almost conversationally.

"My evasion protocols and randomizing subroutines are performing perfectly, considering that this is their first field test."

"We've lost them, then?"

"Ah, no. They seem to have set up something of a relay ambush. Just as we evade one group, another springs out of hyperspace."

"So what we're looking at here is death by attrition?"

"It would seem so."

"Could you be more specific?"

"Eighty-seven percent chance of horrible burning destruction."

"Right. What about a direct confrontation?" The ship rocked again as a new fighter got a lock and fired on her cruiser.

"We would not be able to destroy all of the fighters before their capital ship could make the mini-jump to catch us here."

"And what's it got for weapons?"

"Positron-based Disjunction class torpedoes, and I theorize that they may have a Chaos-class quasar radiation cannon onboard."

"With bells on, I expect. Will you turn off that klaxon?!"

"Very well. Three kilometres to the capital ship."

"What? I thought we outran that!"

"I would seem to have made a pre-emptive jump through a subspace node and simply let the fighters herd us toward it. Ah, and it does have the Chaos cannon."

"How do you know that?"

"It's firing. Four seconds to impact. Two. One."

"And now all that stops. A bit unfair to their enemies, I suppose, but so much more satisfying. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I would have to say that it would be much safer to let things take their course. This is an unnecessary risk."

"Bah. Maybe under normal circumstances. But in this place, I rule. How are they doing?"

"No adverse effects apparent from the temporal stasis. Preparing to bring them through. Where should I put them, boss?"

"My Mushroom Kingdom should suffice. Plenty of space to spread them all out, and lots of good places to die. Spread them at… one kilometre intervals, in their dimensional groupings."

"All of them, boss?"

"Now that's a bad plan."

"Did I ask you? Send them through. Now. Heh heh heh. Welcome to MY world, you impudent 'heroes'. Welcome to your final destination."

"I thought we-"

"Shut up. Our guests are emerging."