Well, I don't know if this story should continue or not. I wrote it in swedish with a more "poetic language", but it was hard to translate into english, so Maria-san tried to help me... alot. ^^'''

I do not own the characters! But you already know that.. ;)

1 – Engagement Day

She shuts her eyes and despises him because he can never let her be alone, not even behind her eyelids. There is always some part of him there, contours in the dark or a piece of his laughter echoing in the void. Today he is everywhere, filling her head.

She remembers how gentle his hair smelled, how his voice – a rough blend of vowels and consonants – made her melt and how warm she became inside her skin every time his black onyx gaze grazed her.

Uchiha Sasuke had a powerful impact on all the girls in Konoha, but it was she who got the chance to get to know him. It was she who got the winning ticket and got mixed in the same team as him, and it was she who got the honest chance to be the girl who could lessen his sorrow and keep him in the village.

It was she who failed at it all.

And now Sakura is 19 years old, today a tall person in a red and white dress and with a cherry blossom in her hair. She has let her hair grow to the collarbone, and on her left hand there is an engagement ring.

Sasuke has been gone for seven years, and she has no idea if he is still alive. It should not matter if Sasuke is alive, Sakura should have forgotten him. But he lingers on like a leech, a nasty critter who unbearably drains her of all of her will, power and joy, but who never finishes her off but instead takes pleasure in her suffering.

A critter who makes sure that she never, for real, can let him go.

"Sakura?"

She blinks, one time to many and gets dizzy. He notices it immediately, of course. She knows he always keeps an eye on her, that he knows her so well nowadays that he from every line on her face can decipher what it is that she is thinking of. But Sakura tries to lie anyway, for his sake, because she doesn't deserve the warmth he insists on giving her.

"I'm sorry Naruto, I was falling asleep."

"You sleep too much, Sakura-chan. That's why. You already slept eleven hours last night. You have to start doing things, you know..."

She lies with her head in his lap. They have gone for a picnic by the same smooth grassy hill as they were the year before, when he asked her if she would marry him. It is as sunny, as green and exactly as woeful today as it was then.

Sakura brings forth a laugh that sounds dry in her ears, then lifts her head and sits with her legs crossed in the blanket.

"I think you are right", she says in lack of anything else to say.

The ghost of Sasuke is still lingering before her eyes, and his laughter is on repeat down by her heart. She knows it to be wrong to be thinking about him, and she knows that Naruto has already noticed the tears that balance on her eyelids.

Naruto puts her hand against her cheek when she looks to the side. Softly he steers her gaze until it meets his, and she feels a pang somewhere inside when she sees him smile. He's got beautiful lips – mature and patient. Without a word he pulls her into his arms and puts his palm in her hair.

"It's okay to cry, Sakura-chan."

It's okay to cry. How many times can a man say that in a month? Naruto must be the world record keeper. He is the strongest human she knows, and the person carrying the finest heart. There is no man in the whole world with a personality like Naruto. He is one of all. And yet she can't allow herself to love him in the way he deserves. Instead, she stains his red coat with mascara and tears.

She cries loudly, can't help it. Naruto has been out on a mission and she has kept so much agony inside of her for three days now, filled herself up to the rim. Naruto caresses her hair over and over. She knows that he suffers, he might be grimacing in pain now that she can't see him, but she can't bear to think about it. Sakura can't carry his sadness as well, it is already too much. All the tears and moans rages out of her and ruins their picnic, ruins their moment which was supposed to be romantic. Naruto have made such an effort – made his own sandwiches, cut fruits into heart shapes, and there is even a package wrapped in red silk tissue in the basket. And the only thing she does is ruining the engagement anniversary by mourning Uchiha Sasuke who should be no more than an erased childhood crush.

"I'm sorry", she says weakly when her crying has paused. She is exhausted and rests her cheek against his shoulder. There is warmth and comfort in his embrace.

"Don't say sorry", Naruto murmurs in her ear and rocks her gently from side to side. "I love you."

"Naruto…"

"I know I am the man in your life, but not in your heart. But please don't stop me from saying that I love you."

"Sorry", she says again and he laughs silently. He bends forward and gets the picnic basket.

"You can't leave until you have tasted my sandwiches. Hinata-san was really patient with me when she tried to teach me, but it still took more than two tries until I managed to procure some freshly baked that were not burned black."

Sakura seats herself next to him while he sets two plates on the blanket. Plates which someone, probably he himself, has painted little doves on. He places the sandwiches on the plates and serves her, before taking a big bite of his own bread.

"Oh, I really made it!" he bursts out and makes her laugh. It's always like that with Naruto. One moment is filled with tears and the other with laughter. Though she knows that he hopes to shape her in a happy mould, that he hopes to be able to guide her onto a path of happiness. And Sakura knows that Naruto can do many things, but that is a thing he is incapable of doing. There is no point in saying it out loud, because he wouldn't believe her anyway.

He would only take it as a challenge.