DISCLAIMER

Authors Note: MUST READ I did NOT write any of these quotes I found them through my vast travels through fanfiction and other sites. I found these little phrases funny and copied them onto word so that I could read them if I needed cheering up. I am sorry that I can't give credit to where it lies because I was stupid and didn't think about it. -_-! So anyway I do not claim any credit for what is on this page except for the fact that I found them. I hope you enjoy these!

WARNING: Most of these phrases come from anime fanfics or other such places for most of them you probably don't need to know much about them but they are very general at least I hope so. Enjoy! If you like these look in my profile for more.



Funny Instances Throughout the Harry Potter Universes

By Otaku Freak

Albus Dumbledore was sitting in his office wondering as to how he was going to arrange for the Order of the Phoenix to meet without that idiot Fudge finding out. How the man could possibly ignore such obvious evidence of Voldemort's return baffles the mind; he was getting a headache just thinking about it. Maybe if he was lucky Voldemort would kill him first. No no no! Must think good thoughts, not that it wasn't a good thought already but the man called him senile for crying out loud! Oh, well you win some you lose some. Now to be a good leader one must remain calm and objective. So in order to do so he went over to what he dubbed "The Cabinet of Cool Stuff" and took out an odd looking pensive. This was the pensive of the almighty Otaku; it contains many actions throughout the multiverse. This is just what he needed to see what would be the best way to destroy Voldemort, that and it was as funny as hell. Albus arranged himself at his desk getting comfortable and looked deep into the pensive to see what it held.

First Vision

It had been a normal day for Severus Snape. Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, put up with insignificant fools, go work in the dungeons, go to Dumbledore's office for a meeting, put up with insignificant fools, eat lunch, put up with insignificant fools, work in the dungeons, go to dinner, put up with insignificant fools...

"No no, that wasn't quite it I should keep going", muttered Albus as he supressed a snicker.

Second Vision

"Hacking the password to your headmaster's office is bound to be illegal" Harry muttered to himself as he walked up the staircase.

"Gee I wonder if it is...better look it up."

Third Vision

'Good old Hagrid' Harry thought with a laugh 'you could always count on him to provide you with something dangerous and life threatening.' He lifted the sword and took a careful swing at the air and nearly dropped it on his legs it was too heavy especially with his aching arms

"I second that opinion!!" roared Albus thinking back to some of the more unusual presents he got from Hagrid. "Ah yes now onto some of my favorites from that Ruskbyte fellow they are always quite interesting I'm quite glad that Otaku found them."

Fourth Vision

The stone floor beneath him was scorched black, burned by the intense heat of the lightning when it connected heaven and earth. A thin network, a web, of cracks radiated out around him where the flagstones had lost their struggle to contain or dissipate the energy released upon them. And a pair of Death Eaters, who had been standing watch over the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables, were lying strewn on the floor, reduced to charred and contorted skeletons. "And I thought him and Ron arriving with a flying car was impressive," declared Lee Jordan in a hushed, awe-filled whisper, standing just behind Fred and George, his dreadlocks standing on end from the static that charged the entire hall. Truth be told, the only two people in the hall whose hair was not sticking out were Voldemort and Professor Snape - Voldemort because he had none and Snape because no force on earth could defeat the grease holding his hair in place

Albus had just fallen out of his chair rolling on the ground in laughter when Professor McGongal came in and gave him a funny look. All he did was point at the pensive. Moments later Minerva was right on the floor next to him, it took them a good five minutes to compose themselves enough to continue on their search.

Fifth Vision

Harry smiled thinly and rose to his feet, the scarlet and gold robes billowing about his slender frame, "Why shouldn't I? If you're such a coward, Tom Marvolo Riddle, to have to hide behind a false name and title, it's no skin off my nose." He smirked, "At least I have one." Voldemort hissed, "For that, Potter, I shall make your death all the more painful." "You've tried before," Harry acknowledged, "I can't help but notice that I'm still here."

Albus started chuckling when he heard Minerva say, "Well Harry does have a point there." With a thin smile.

Sixth Vision

Voldemort snarled viciously, apparently becoming aware that Harry was not only making a fool of him, but a mockery as well. Baring his sharp, predatory teeth, he leveled his wand at Harry in a swift motion as he hissed loudly, "Crucio!" "Ouch," observed Harry as the curse washed over him. He rolled his eyes and clasped his hands theatrically to his chest, over his heart. His words matched his actions, "Oh, the pain. Oh, the agony. Spare me, please, I beg of you. Oh, the pain," but were delivered in such droll and laconic tones that it was almost funny.

Once again they were on the floor when Remus and Sirius came in and Moony calmly stated "They've been in Otaku's Pensive again haven't they." "Hey! You should see the Ranma multiverse now that's funny" Sirius exclaimed. "And exactly when did you do this?" Moony asked "Ummmmmmmm....I gotta go and find Harry see you later!" Sirius said slowly backing out the door before turning into a big black dog and run out the door. "Hey! Padfoot, wait up! When did you see it! Hey Padfoot!!!!!" said Moony chasing after him. "I really need to use different passwords." Albus muttered under his breath.

END



AN: I am planning on doing a rewrite similar to this one for my Ranma and Crossover versions. Please tell me what you think.