A/N- This is a one-shot that sort of follows up my earlier story, Shatterpoint. You don't have to read that first to understand this fic, but of course it would make me very happy if you did. ;)
Intervention
One year, two months, and twenty-eight days.
That's how long I've been separated from him. I suppose it's sort of pathetic that I know the exact number, that I've actually been counting how long we've been apart. That I've been waiting, instead of getting on with my life like he told me to.
But what kind of life was I supposed to get on with? Go back to working in shops? I have done, actually. After six weeks passed Mum told me I should at least help pay the rent, so I found another job, got a paycheck to hand to her at the end of the month. It's just like it was two years ago, except now I know better. I know what it's like to really live. The trouble is, I don't think I can anymore. Not without him.
He said to forget about the TARDIS, let it gather dust, but I couldn't do that. It's the only remotely possible way of getting back to him, but I just can't figure it out. I've gone over all the controls countless times, no luck. She just won't work for me. Still, I keep trying.
More than that, though, she's lonely. I can feel it sometimes, walking in there. It's empty, and lifeless. The lights have dimmed, they've nearly gone out, but sometimes, after I've been there awhile, they seem a little brighter. So I go, pretty much every other day, to keep her company. I'm no substitute for the Doctor, but I like to think my being there helps her.
That's where I was last Saturday, the day a stranger with my face appeared, and gave me hope again.
I opened the door quietly, peeked out into the street before exiting the TARDIS. Nobody's supposed to notice the TARDIS or anyone entering or exiting it, but lately I've been getting funny looks so I guess the tech that keeps her unnoticeable is wearing down. Just another reminder that the Doctor is really gone.
The street seemed clear when I checked but when I stepped outside, there was this sound like a thunderclap and a blonde girl appeared in the middle of the street. It took me a moment to realize that this girl, dressed in a leather jacket and holding a huge gun, looked exactly like me.
Well, not exactly like me. Her hair was shorter, and she looked a bit older, but all that meant was that she was a future version of me. Which meant that I was time-traveling again. Which meant that, eventually, I would find the Doctor again. Which was absolutely fantastic!
All that ran through my head in a split second before I was running towards her, grinning. She heard me and turned my way, eyes widening in surprise and recognition. She didn't have time to say more than, "Oh my God…" before I had her hand in mine and was dragging her into the TARDIS.
Looking back I realize I should have figured it out right then. I already knew that it wasn't a good idea to touch a previous/future version of yourself, but I wasn't really thinking straight at the time.
"Come on in!" I exclaimed giddily, "Can't let anyone else see you, not when we look like twins… though you do look a bit older, guess that's to be expected." I realized I was babbling, and took a breath to steady myself. "Here we are then," I finished, closing the door behind us. I turned to her then, exhilarated, and asked her the one question I'd been dying to know.
"So, how do I do it?"
Strangely, she didn't seem to know what I was talking about. "Do what?"
I actually laughed, I thought maybe she was joking at first. "Get back, of course!" But she didn't say anything, kept staring at me and glancing around at the TARDIS like she hadn't seen it in forever. Which should have been another clue, but I was busy waiting for the answer that had been a year and three months in coming. So when she didn't give it, I got a bit impatient.
"Back to the Doctor," I supplied, trying to be helpful. "On the Gamestation. Remember? Well, of course you do, you've got to, you're me…" I nearly laughed again, but she had such an odd look on her face that I stopped, confused.
"But I'm not," she told me. I didn't believe her at first, of course. I thought maybe she meant something else.
"Okay, we're at different points in the timeline or something, I get that…"
"No," she declared more forcefully. "I'm not you."
"Course you are, you've got to be," I insisted, puzzled. "I mean you look a few years older…"
"That's 'cause time runs differently in other universes," she informed me tiredly. "I'm… I'm from a parallel universe, and we're a few years ahead of you, yeah, but you and I are not the same person. Not anymore."
I've had to absorb all sorts of explanations while traveling with the Doctor, but despite my ability to believe in the impossible, what she told me made no sense at all. "What do you mean?"
She seemed uneasy, tracing her hand over the controls instead of looking at me. A dark, foreboding feeling settled in my stomach then, and I realized this might not turn out to be the happy ending or quick solution I had been hoping for. Finally she explained.
"We might've… up until some point in time, we were the same person. But then, something happened. I dunno what it was, some choice I made that you didn't, maybe… but at that point, our life could've gone one way or the other. That created a parallel universe, an'… let's just say our lives took very different directions."
It all came down to one thing. "So you're not… you're not from my future, then."
"No, I'm not," she said, seeming relieved that I finally got it. "And I really should be getting out of here…"
They way she talked, it was like she would be glad to get away from me and my questions. Like I was wasting her time. Right about then, something about her attitude began to get on my nerves.
"Oh? What exactly is it that you need to run off to do?" I asked her icily.
Her eyes flashed in annoyance. "If you must know, every single parallel world is facing destruction. The stars are going out. I'm trying to stop it."
Of course she was. True, that kind of threat went a bit beyond some of those that I had faced while traveling with the Doctor, but I wasn't about to let that impress me. And speaking of the Time Lord… "So where's your Doctor in all this anyway? If the universe is in danger, I would think he'd be right in the thick of things." She turned away and bit her lip, and I realized she was going to try to avoid the question. "And don't say something silly like he doesn't exist in your world or whatever, because I can tell you're familiar with the TARDIS. So where is he?"
"He's… out of my reach at the moment," she informs me, relenting slightly. "I'm trying to get back to him."
"I know what that feels like," I muttered. Something occurred to me then. "You said you're not from my future, but if our lives are parallel… have you been searching for a way to get back to the Gamestation, like I have?"
My double looked away, and I could see that she was trying to come up with an answer to that. But I also knew myself well enough to understand that whatever she was planning on telling me, it would be a lie. "You already found a way back, didn't you," I whispered, unbelieving. "You can tell me how to get back!"
"I can't."
She tried to leave then, as if that settled everything, but there was no way I was going to take no for an answer. "Why not?" I demanded, grabbing her wrist and forcing her to face me.
"It's complicated…"
"No it's not! You want to get back to your Doctor, well, I want to get back to mine! Why can't you help me?"
"You wouldn't understand," she declared defiantly.
"So make me understand!" I insisted.
She shook her head, frustrated. "I can't interfere. However things happened in this universe, they happened that way for a reason, and I can't change that. Not even for you." With that, she wrenched her arm out of my grip and began to stalk towards the door.
This couldn't be happening. I was so close to getting the answers I so desperately wanted, but because of some stupid universal law, she wasn't giving them to me. And she acted like she was so much better than me, with all this superior knowledge. That stung more than anything else.
"You're right," I yelled as she retreated. "You're not me. You're nothing like me. I wouldn't be so stuck up that I would refuse to help someone who asked for it."
At that, her shoulders stiffened. She stopped in her tracks, and turned to face me very slowly. Her expression was one I know I have never seen on my own face. It was cold, and haunted, and- this is the strange part- for a second it reminded me of the Doctor. I suddenly felt very small.
"Help?" she whispered disbelievingly. "Is that what you think it would be? I suppose so, given that I felt the same way a few months ago," she conceded. "This might surprise you, but I've tried to 'help' before. Tried to get other universes to follow the same path my own did. Thought I knew the way things were supposed to be. So yeah, I meddled. And as a result of my meddling, two universes were wiped out of existence."
She stared at me, drumming the message into my brain. "Two universes, Rose. Billions upon billions of inhabited worlds, possibilities, totally wiped out. Because I thought I knew best."
That's when I figured out what she had in common with the Doctor. It was guilt. He had carried around guilt for the destruction of his planet ever since I met him. And this girl with my face was carrying a similar burden.
That was also about the time I realized I was glad not to be her.
"Hell, I probably shouldn't even be telling you any of this," she continued bitterly, slumping against one of the coral struts for balance. "I might've doomed your world already, simply by giving you that information."
I stared at her, bewildered. "How is that even possible? What could I do that would destroy the world?"
She clenched her hands in frustration. "I don't know! I'm not the Doctor, I can't see what the consequences of any changes I make might be. I only know that any change, however small, could have disastrous consequences. So now I try not to make any changes." She sighed harshly and slid to the floor, tucking her knees beneath her chin. "I don't seem to be too good at that."
I absorbed this silently. She didn't look confident anymore. She looked… broken. That made me uneasy. However different we were inside, outwardly she was me, and it's awfully hard to look at yourself in complete despair and not want to do something about it.
I crouched down next to her, careful to keep some distance between us. "But it's not like it was your fault, yeah?" I asked awkwardly. "I mean, you didn't mean for it to happen."
"Still. If I hadn't been there, it wouldn't have happened. That makes me responsible."
"But you had a reason for being there. You were trying to save the universes, to…"
"To stop the Darkness," she finished wryly. "Yeah. But what's the use of trying to save the multiverse if you end up destroying it in the process?"
"It's better than the alternative," I insisted, not quite sure why I was right but certain that I was. "You don't just sit back and let things happen. If you did that, well… destruction would happen anyway. You've got be able to, to take a stand…"
"To say no," she echoed. "To have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away…"
"The Doctor does it," I said with feeling, missing him more than ever. "I dunno how he does it but he does… he makes the hard choices… takes responsibility when no one else will."
"And now I've got to," she murmured.
"I'm sorry," I told her, feeling inadequate. Because really, what are you supposed to say to something like that?
"I'm sorry too," she said, turning to look at me. I think she saw me for the first time then, not as a pest or a danger to be avoided, but as a person. And I could tell that she meant what she said. "I would help you, if I could. I know what it's like to be apart from him…oh, do I know. But I don't know what the consequences would be, and I can't take that risk again. I won't."
"I understand," I told her. And I did. Even so, I couldn't help but be disappointed.
Suddenly, a light on her medallion began flashing wildly. She stood up immediately and began walking towards the door.
I couldn't help but ask her one more question. "What's that?"
"It's my cue to leave," she explained. "It means my team has found another hole between this universe and mine, and I have to use it to get back." She glanced back at me again, somehow no longer vulnerable. But maybe it only seemed that way. "Thanks."
I was surprised. "For what?"
She didn't answer me; instead she appeared to be trying to make a decision. Finally she told me, "I can't tell you how to get back to the Gamestation. It's likely that was never meant to happen in this world. But it's possible that the Doctor may find a way to get back to you here. If that happens, then you should know this: you might not recognize him at first. Give it time. That's all I can tell you."
Somehow, that was more confusing than any of the other things she had said. "What do you mean, I might not recognize him?"
She shook her head. "Can't tell you that. It might not happen at all. Still, good luck."
"You too!" I replied, even though I was still confused. With that, she pressed a button on her medallion. There was a sound of thunder, and then street was empty, as if she had never been there at all.
You might not recognize him…
That's the understatement of the year. At least, it is if the man I found yesterday really is the Doctor, something I'm still not sure about even now. And yet…
He appeared next to the TARDIS. I was visiting again, and I heard the sound from inside. At first I thought Rose-from-another-dimension had come to pay me another visit, but when I looked outside, the person I found looked nothing like me. He didn't look anything like the Doctor either, except for one thing- he was wearing his leather jacket.
His eyes fluttered for a second, and when he saw me standing over him they widened. He was just able to whisper my name, "Rose," after which he promptly passed out.
I called Mickey right away, knowing I was gonna need some help with this, whether the stranger turned out to be the Doctor or not. While I waited for him to arrive, I examined the man on the ground more closely. In addition to wearing the Doctor's clothes, he had Jack's vortex manipulator strapped to his wrist. Probably how he got here in the first place, I reasoned. Placing my hand on his chest, I felt that he had two hearts. So it has to be the Doctor, unless he's somehow some other Time Lord who survived the war. It's possible. Not likely.
Then again, I would say it's not likely that this man is the Doctor either, except for the other Rose's warning. How is this even possible? What would cause him to change his appearance in this way- and why the hell didn't he tell me he could do so in the first place?
It's been a day, and he still hasn't woken up. He's sleeping in my room for now, I've taken the couch. I don't know how much longer I can take of this waiting. I've been waiting for over a year now, and yet the thought of waiting a few more hours is killing me. I need answers, some real answers, not ones that could destroy the universe if I knew.
I can only hope the man in my bedroom will have them.