Getting over Ricky isn't something that Adrian can quantify. It doesn't happen overnight; it doesn't happen easily; it doesn't happen when she wants it to. She doesn't even know when it happens, except that one day she looks at him and doesn't feel the butterflies in her stomach.

Loving Ben isn't something that she can quantify either. It happens just as gradually as getting over Ricky: quick smiles and taut conversation evolve into genuine laughter and relying on each other. He's not a replacement for Ricky; she's not in love with him. But there's affection between the two of them. They need each other.

It all came to a head the day she found blood on her panties, and maybe that's when she realized how she was getting over Ricky and loving Ben. Because when she was terrified, sitting in the unfriendly doctor's office worrying that her child's life was bleeding from her, it was Ben who stood beside her.

(Really, he stood in the hall and waited for her. And then he came in and he hurt her, spitting out what she had done to win the ring he offered. As if she didn't know.

But if she hadn't cared by then, his accusation wouldn't have hurt.)

Ricky wasn't there. Ricky was with his own son, and Adrian knows how ridiculous the tangle of hearts and children between her and Ricky and Amy and Ben is. But the fact remains, no matter how much she and Ricky were in love and Ben and Amy were in love, now she and Ben need to be there for each other.

She still hasn't gotten used to the idea of Ricky being there for Amy, so she doesn't let her mind linger over the raw wound; instead gently fingers the sapphire ring that now adorns her fourth finger, An agreement between her and Ben. A promise that she honestly believes that will be kept on both sides. Because Ben can be relied on. Ben keeps his word. Ben isn't like Ricky.

It all comes back to Ricky.

A low, frustrated growl escapes Adrian's throat as she sits in bed contemplating this. She still hasn't gotten over the terror of thinking she would lose the baby, Ben's ring is sitting new and beautiful on her finger, and Ricky's face still dances in her mind, handsome and rugged and not hers anymore.

She reaches across to her nightstand where her phone sits. For a few seconds she grips it tightly, the beautiful ring digging into her finger as she gathers her courage to flip through her contacts to Ricky Underwood.

She almost doesn't press the send button, but then she remembers that she's Adrian Lee, she's fearless, and she knows this boy better than she knows nearly anyone. So taking a deep breath, she calls Ricky; cradles the phone against her ear. Breathless with anticipation. No butterflies, but excited. Hopeful.

After the fourth ring, she's sure he's not going to pick up. But then instead of the answering machine's buzz and Ricky's brief "This is Ricky, you know what to do", she hears "Hello Adrian."

As soon as she registers the tone of his voice—weary, tired—her stomach plummets. "Hi Ricky," she whispers back. "Maybe I shouldn't have called."

"No you shouldn't have," he agrees, "But you called and I answered."

"Yeah." She twists a strand of hair through one hand, fisting it until it tangles. "I guess some things don't change."

"Yeah, but some things do." He doesn't sound so weary anymore; instead there's the familiar steely edge in his voice. "Listen, Adrian, I can't talk now. Amy came home early and she's here with John and me right now."

It's the 'and me' that gets Adrian. She almost gives into blinding fury (because the wound of Ricky's betrayal is still raw), but her left hand is curled on her lap, Ben's ring twinkles up at her, and she remembers that she's not in love with Ricky anymore.

"Lovely," she finally drawls slowly. For a couple seconds she feels like the Adrian she was two years ago, back when she didn't let anyone see her caring.

"Uh-huh," Ricky replies dryly, not giving into her sarcasm, but not taken in either. "I have to go."

The cavalier tone of his voice finally gets to Adrian. "No you don't," she hisses. "You can talk to me for as long as you want."

"Amy just got home, what do you want me to do? Blow her off? The girl's gone through enough already."

"Think I don't know that?" Adrian shoots back. "Because believe me, this summer I have really begun to appreciate the struggles of Amy Jerugens."

The silence between them for the next few seconds is heavy with their history. Then she hears Ricky exhale slowly. She knows she won when he asks, "Alright, Adrian. Amy's putting John down right now. What did you want to talk about?"

The victory doesn't make her feel as powerful as it once would have. So she knows how to manipulate Ricky into talking to her; clearly she's not so good at manipulating him into loving her.

Manipulation. The word is ugly, and Adrian flings it as far away from her as she can. She curls up on her bed and bares her soul to Ricky; she tells him, "I thought I was going to have a miscarriage today."

Ricky inhales sharply, cusses, and asks what happened and if she's okay.

She explains briefly and non graphically. "And I'm fine," she adds, tightening her lips into a smile before she remembers he can't see her. "Me and the baby are both going to be fine. But it was really scary."

"And Ben was there for you?"

She doesn't miss the protectiveness of his tone, and vaguely she wonders if, were she to reply no, Ricky would take measures to avenge her. Probably not; after all, he's no Prince Charming. So without any regrets, Adrian says, "Yes. I don't know what I would have done without him today."

"Good."

Again, the line goes silent. Then Ricky says, "Adrian, John's about to be down; I can hear Amy getting to the end of his story."

(He could be lying to her, but Adrian doesn't let that suspicion linger. Suspicion never got her and Ricky anywhere good.)

"Listen," he continues, "If you need me, for anything, call me. I mean it. If Ben can't be somewhere, just find me. I don't want you going through this alone."

"Ricky …" A lump rises in Adrian's throat and she bites her lip, touched. "Thank you."

"'Welcome," he says, gruff. "I have to go."

"Okay."

"Goodbye Adrian."

"Goodbye Ricky."

She doesn't want to be the first one to hang up. It was a game she used to play with herself when Ricky called: stay on the line until he hung up; see how long it would be. Usually it was only a few seconds, but today the click doesn't come for what feels like half a minute. Finally his end goes dead and Adrian removes the phone from her ear.

The day has drained her. She's never felt such a tidal wave of emotion: terror, love, pain, betrayal, need.

Hope.

She's not sure what, exactly, she's hoping for, but as Adrian turns off her light and shuts her eyes, one thought lingers in her mind:

It all comes back to Ricky.

I know it's probably pretty clear from the story that I prefer Adrian/Ricky and, to a lesser degree, Ben/Amy, but in tonight's episode I really did love the Ben/Adrian moments they showed. I was so glad to see Ben maturing, and the moment when he gave Adrian the ring was incredibly sweet. So I tried to honor the bond I know he has with Adrian.

Review?