An Illogical Misconception: Varia Style!
Summary: Sequel to An Illogical Misconception! After the incident in the Vongola Headquarters, Yamamoto sends an email to certain person and suggests him to do what he just did but in a different way. Also it seems that certain person seems to be as illogical as the Rain Guardian of the Vongola, so how will the other Varia members will react with that person's misconception? Rated T for cursing!
A/N: It is somewhat the same as the story, An Illogical Misconception…the words, I mean, and the plot.
WARNING: Wrong Grammar, Typos, OOC Characters and MORE! Beware I tell ya! Mwahaha!
Disclaimer: I do not own KHR!
It was one of these rare days that the Vongola's Assassination Squad a.k.a Varia didn't have to do anything but stay in their luxurious mansion than to kill their time doing nothing more but just waste, waste and waste some more time than do nothing. You couldn't possibly blame them for being like this. They were assassins for heaven's sakes! They kill to live and live to kill, not do anything but have fun and live this boring old world. A great example, are those Vongola Brats that can kill like a vicious predator and live like a normal citizen at the same time in the Mafia World.
It was as if they didn't take the Mafia World seriously!
Each one of them, the Guardians, had their own activity, to kill time, that they can do since it was after all their, we're-not-going-to-kill-anyone-day-and-make-our-asses-to-stay-still-until-we-get-a-mission-until-the-next-24-hours day today.
Squalo, the Rain Guardian, was doing nothing but yell his famous 'VOIIII!' and other things like cursing or like shouting 'STUPID VONGOLA DECIMO BRAT! MAKING US HAVE A DAY OFF WHEN WE DIDN'T NEED ONE!' or something like that as he randomly swings his artificial sword at a dummy with the picture of our favorite brunette pinned on it; his pony-tailed hair swinging left and right at every movement he made. (A/N: awww~ I wanna see Squ-chan's hair ponytailed~ :3)
Bel…well our favorite 'Ushishishi'-ing Prince was currently sitting on the couch while he made poor Fran as his target practice while the Prince threw his silver knives at his back or the Froggy hat that he forced Fran to wear.
The Arcobaleno, Mammon or also known as Viper was at his room resting and counting his precious money while selling or purchasing things online. He was also on the phone; talking to the Lightning Arcobaleno, Verde, about his new experiments and invention that he needed Mammon to test on. (A/N: I know there is this one episode during the Arcobaleno Trial when Viper was testing Verde's experiment, which was the Box Weapon that did not exist yet in Tsuna's era. Also it was Viper's Trial to Tsuna.)
Xanxus was just sleeping with his box weapon, Bester. Not caring if his Guardians were causing havoc in the mansion as long as they don't wake him up. He would just let Bester eat them if they dared disturb his sleep.
While poor Levi…ahh Levi…does anyone of you know anyone named Levi?
…
…
…
Just Kidding…
Anyway…Levi was currently in front of his God-like Boss' door while he peaked through the small key hole, muttering that his boss was amazing while he slept. And it was very, I mean very creepy. Some of the other Varia Officers' subordinates pass by and, unfortunately, saw him, swinging his ass right and left and squealing and acting like a happy school girl.
Well let's just say that it was good that everyone was doing something…interesting. Well except for one person.
"Unyaa, so bored~…" well it was our favorite Muay Thai Sun Guardian, Lussuria.
Said assassin was lying on his bed doing nothing as he got his (pink) laptop that was beside him and opened it while thinking what he could possibly do to make him entertained. He thought and thought but he couldn't think of anything. He could play dress up with little Franny but he was with the Prince. And we all know that the Prince does not want to share his toys and he was too busy playing with 'em. He could brush and braid Squalo's hair but the swordsman wouldn't want anyone especially him to do anything with it. He wanted to chat with the recently arrived Arcobaleno, but Mammon was too busy, having a honeymoon, with his money. He couldn't touch/play with his Boss since everyone knew it would be suicide if he were ought to do it. And even if he had the chance to do it he'd be electrified by the oh-so-loyal-dog of their Boss, Levi.
He sighed (girly) once more as he rolled on his bed; he was now on his stomach. 'Uwaa~…There's nothing to do…all missions that were assigned to us were on hold or cancelled by our cute little Decimo-sama~' he thought as he opened his email as it spoke, 'you've got mail, date today is: 08/23/20XX '. "Ara ara…it seems I've got mail the day before yesterday…Hmm it's from…uwah? What's this? Oh ~! It's from Takeshi-kun~!" he was suddenly happy that the Rain Guardian of the Vongola sent him an email after weeks of waiting.
It was true that the Vongola and the Varia aren't that totally close with each other ever since the whole Ring Conflict incident but they were quite closely acquainted with each other. One of them was Squalo, who would sometimes go to Japan, and see the Rain Guardian if he wasn't fooling around and if he was improving on his swordsmanship. Also after the Shimon incident, the whole Vongola celebrated on how they managed to defeat the fearsome Daemon Spade.
Said party was when they, Lussuria and Yamamoto, got close for some unknown reason and exchanged mails at the end of the party. Ever since then, they became the best online buddies. Wonderful isn't it?
Well back to the Lussuria, "Hmmm…what could Takeshi-kun sent me?" he asked himself as he opened his email that he got from the swordsman of the Vongola Famiglia.
It read…
Receive: 08/21/20XX; 10:46 pm
Dear Lussuria,
Hahaha! I'm sorry if I wasn't able to email you this past few weeks. Things in the Main Headquarters are being hectic in here and I couldn't open or even touch my laptop since I've got to travel around Italy or Europe for some kind of business either it was financial or assassination…haha!
Well anyway since the Guardians and I, surprisingly, got a day off today, I thought that I should try to send you an email to tell you want I've been doing and want has been happening in here in Vongola HQ, before our hectic schedule would return the following day.
To start it all…when we surprisingly got the day off everyone did what they couldn't do every day, well except for Tsuna of course…ahaha! He had to do a lot of paperwork in his office with the help of Hayato.
And it wasn't only Tsuna, but it was also me. I didn't get to do anything at first since I was bored and I couldn't think of anything to kill my time.
…
Lussuria read the Rain Guardian's email, making some side comments with whichever part he read from the Rain Guardian's letter. It was quite interesting that Yamamoto tried to make everyone's names into shorthands and all, then adding it. And that Yamamoto thought that the Male Mist Guardian and their Boss were the parents of the Female Mist Guardian. The thought of it actually made him squeal because of the pairing. (A/N: woohoo~ go Lussuria!) But though he supports Tsuna and Mukuro's cute pairing, it was still illogical for Lussuria. But then again it could be possible since like what the number one hitman in the Mafia World said that was written in Yamamoto's letter, 'Nothing is impossible in the Mafia'
…
And so after I explained to Ryohei-sempai about how he got his shorthand and that the both of us brought Chrome to the infirmary we went to our own separate ways so that we could head back to our own room. Then when I went back to my room I thought that I could email you since it's been awhile since I've sent you some emails…hahaha! Anyways I've got to go now! Missions and other things we haven't done or have been on hold will begin the next day so I'm going to sleep now. Ja ne! Hope you like my story and that you could reply and tell me yours! Ahaha!
-Yamamoto Takeshi
P.S. why don't you try and make one, it would be really fun! Ahaha! Though I'd really want to share the shorthands that I made, the piece of paper that I placed all the shorthands were gone…it's sad though, I was going to add some more numbers…but I'm going to make it again and share it with you someday. So why don't you try and make shorthands out of letters instead of the numbers that I made. It would be a lot easier and less troublesome for you. bye Lussuria!
End of letter
Hmmm…make one eh? It wouldn't hurt if you try ne? He was bored after all.
Thus our favorite fashionista then grabbed a pen and paper and did what his best bud online did. Oh it was going to be fun~!
Dinner Time
Everyone sat on their respective chair. Xanxus, obviously, was at the middle of the long table, Squalo at his left, Mammon next, and Fran at the end of the table, then at Xanxus' right sat Levi, then Lussuria and lastly, The Prince Ripper.
"Oy Trash where the fuck is my food?" Xanxus asked, clearly angry that his steak isn't in front of him yet. He was freaking hungry damn it!
"VOIII! Why don't you just wait for the fucking food will ya!" Squalo asked not amused by his boss' bossy attitude.
"Oy! Don't call Boss like that!" Levi snarled at the long haired swordsman.
"Ushishishishishi…oy commoner Boss wouldn't even appreciate if he heard you defend him like that pathetically, shishishi" Bel grinned like the Cheshire Cat as he threw his knife at the person in front of him.
"Sempai…It hurts you know" Fran removed the knife that was sticking on his frog hat and bent it, making the blonde prince's grin turn upside down.
"Bel, stop hurting my apprentice, and why is he still wearing that ridiculous hat?" Mammon asked not liking that his apprentice was being hurt by the prince. Also his apprentice was wearing a hat, a frog hat to be exact.
The Varia started to have fun once again. A hurtful way of having fun…
"Eh…Mammon-sensei is it me or is Luss-nee being eerily quiet today?" Fran asked his other Master as he bent yet another silver knife that was stuck on his Frog hat.
Also it seems those words were like magic as it made every Varia Officer shut their mouths up and look at their usually bickering Sun Guardian.
"Hmm…I guess something is wrong with Lussuria" Mammon muttered, enough for Fran to hear.
Not liking the silence Squalo then yelled, "VOIIII! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU LUSSURIA?" his hair still in a ponytail, he was currently standing up with his right foot on the table.
"Ushishishishi…is Sharkie worried about Peacock? Shishi" Bel teased their second-in-command captain, making Squalo fume in anger as he started to shout many colorful words towards Bel in many different languages. (A/N: Lussuria's Box Weapon is a Peacock that is why Bel called him a Peacock)
"Oy Trash speak" Xanxus glared at Lussuria, making some of them wonder if the Boss was worried by Lussuria's weird actions despite the intense glare that he was giving him.
"Ara ara~ You don't have to be harsh on your words Bossu~" Lussuria swayed his body like a jellyfish, both of his hands on his cheeks. Well it seemed he was alright but it doesn't explain his weird behavior awhile ago.
"Oy Lussuria Boss told you to speak, so you better speak" Levi glared at the swaying Sun Guardian as Lussuria stopped with his weird action, not minding with Levi's bad attitude towards him.
Lussuria adjusted his sunglasses and said, "Well you see…I was bothered by something…" he said his story to them while the people in the room were surprisingly just listening to him. Even the mighty Xanxus was listening to him…though he looked like he was forgotten.
"VOIIIIII! I DON'T FIND ANYTHING THAT'S WORTH BOTHERING ABOUT IN YOUR STORY LUSSURIA!" Squalo shouted; he was angry that they spent 15 minutes listening to their Sun Guardian's story. It was fucking only about him doing fucking nothing then finds a fucking interesting email from the Vongola brat's fucking Rain Guardian and his fucking shitless story and how he fucking encouraged Lussuria to do what he fucking did two fucking days ago.
"Mah mah~ It wasn't that (A/N: fucking) bad Squ-chan~ Even the Boss seemed to be interested with what I've said~" Lussuria grinned happy that Xanxus was looking at him with bored looking eyes albeit it held a little amusement. It seems his hunger disappeared in an instance.
Before Squalo could manage to stand up, put his foot on the table and scream yet another 'VOII!' he was suddenly cut off by Lussuria when he said, "Also I'm not yet finish with my story~" waving his index finger towards Squalo making him grit his teeth in annoyance as he crossed his hands (without the sword) on his chest, huffed angrily at Lussuria and sunk back further to his sit. He looked liked an angry child that can't have chocolate for breakfast.
"Then what happened Luss-nee?" it was a surprise that Fran was interested in his story. Lussuria expected that their youngest member wouldn't be interested in anything since he was one of the few people that he knew that were hard to be interested in something other than killing, illusions or anything. (A/N: )
"Ahh~ like I told you awhile ago I did what Takeshi-kun suggested me to do~ and it was really fun~" he squealed, he then placed a hand on his cheek as he blushed while on his other hand was a small piece of paper that he got from his Varia jacket pocket.
"Ushishishi, then what happened?" Bel asked grinning like a maniac, he was curious what had caused the Muay Thai-ist to act like a lot more idiotically than he was with just a simple thing that had to do with a piece of paper.
"And then I got something that made me think that it was possible…" Lussuria for once was deadly serious which made some of the Varia member's gulp and sweat a little.
"What is it Luss-nee?" Fran asked not knowing what he just asked would make him regret that he asked that question.
Lussuria looked at Fran then at Bel making the Prince say an 'Ushishi?' wondering why the lunatic beside him looked at the Frog then at him. "Ne~ Bel-kun, Fran-chan are you together~?" Lussuria asked while pouting, making everyone stared at him…like an idiot.
3…
2…
And 1
"VOIIII! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING LUSSURIAAAAA?" Squalo shouted in rage, he was now standing on the table.
"AHAHAHAHA!" Levi laughed, he was rolling on the floor when he saw everyone's priceless face (except Xanxus) especially when he saw Squalo's and Bel's. It was hilarious, Levi concluded. (A/N: Yes…I know it is un-Levi-ish)
"Eh? Me and Sempai together? That sure is disgusting…" (A/N: hmmm…say what you want Fran…say what you want…)
"Hmm…It seems you've been doing naughty things my little apprentice, Bel" Mammon said, thinking of how many cash he would receive if he the two were indeed together and he would take a lot of pictures of them doing…let's just say various activities…and he would post it in the internet. Hmmm, he would surely get all the allowance and savings of all the yaoi fangirls in the world. It was a genius plan, he though.
"…" Xanxus just looked at him with bored eyes though he was quiet amused with Squalo's face.
"Ushishishi…how stupid of you Lussuria" it was obvious that Bel was twitching, yet when you look closely to his face you would surely see a little some pink on his cheeks.
Squalo was beyond pissed only because of their Sun Guardian had said. First of all, they all bothered to listen to his fucking useless story for 15 fucking minutes. Second, they thought something major major was wrong with the lunatic but nooo…it was only a fucking simple thing only. Lastly, he fucking tells out of nowhere that Bel and Fran were together for no fucking reason! (A/N: the two majors are not typos…if you watched and heard Venus Raj our competitor for Miss Universe 2010 you'll get what I mean when I say major major.)
This wouldn't have happened if it weren't for that stupid Vongola Brat Rain Guardian! Oh he was going to kill someone when he visits the Main HQ tomorrow.
"Oy Lussuria why did you think that my apprentice would be together with Bel?" Mammon, who was the calmest out of all the Varia, asked him. There might be some reason why Lussuria would say such an obnoxious thing.
Then everyone's eyes were directed to Lussuria's sunglasses. They wanted answers dammit!
"Ara ara~ Curious aren't we?" Lussuria teased "It is just what I told you. I tried what Takeshi-kun told me and did this and that and added it~ And it was fun~" Lussuria was squealing again.
"VOOOI! It's still illogical of you to say that! That Bel and that Brat are together because of a simple adding!" Squalo roared. Is it him or is the man in front of him getting loco every minute?
"Oh come on Squ-chan~ everything is possible especially in the Mafia, like what Reborn-kun said in Takeshi-kun's letter~" he was pouting that Squalo was being mean as usual.
"Oy Trash stop your bickering the gay person has a point you know" Xanxus was smirking making Squalo grit his teeth and Levi clap in admiration.
Then Squalo remembered something, "VOII! LUSSURIAAA! GIVE ME THE FUCKING PAPER THAT YOU SHOWED US EARLIER!" he demanded while Lussuria took the folded paper from his pocker and handed it to the Swordsman's hand.
Squalo slowly opened the paper while everyone went to his side, except for Xanxus, to see what was written in the small paper. Written in it were there names and letter beside it.
Xanxus: X
Squ-chan: S
Bel: B
Franny: F
Mammon/Viper: V
Levi: L
(A/N: I know Levi isn't L but I wanted it to be like that just for my story)
Everyone who read it, except for Xanxus, could not understand on how and why their (idiot) Sun Guardian did the thing that was written on the girly looking piece of paper. It even had a drawing of a unicorn in it!
"Voi! Why the fuck, am I number S?" Squalo asked harshly.
"Mah~ Mah~ don't go cranky Squ-chan or you'll get wrinkles~" Lussuria joked a little while Squalo tried not kill the person in front of him. "Answer the fucking question moron" Squalo hissed as Lussuria replied, "Well~ When you right you're name…the beginning of it is the letter S~!" Lussuria mentally did a high five with another Lussuria, congratulating himself for thinking a genius idea of how he made their names out of shorthands.
Squalo's mouth was violently twitching from annoyance. He was ranting inside his head that it was the most stupid idea that he had ever heard. What kind of person would stay in their room, from morning to evening, and do shorthands for only 6 people and that their shorthands were only the start of letter of their names?
"VOIII! But it still doesn't explain why you told us that Prince and that Brat are together out of nowhere!" he yelled while the others took the paper from him as they stared the paper wondering why and how Lussuria concluded that Bel and Fran were together.
"Saa~…I told you that when I finished doing the shorthands, I started put the letters together~ like what Takeshi-kun did with the shorthands that he made…and then when I tried using Bel-kun's and Fran-chan's letter and then I got the 'BF'~" Lussuria had both of his hands together while doing his jellyfish dance.
"BF as in Best friends?" Mammon asked, focusing on Lussuria and not minding Bel and Fran, who were engaged in battle about not wanting to be with the other one. They were only exchanging insults and some knifes being thrown to the younger one.
"I also thought of that Mammon-kun but the more I think about it, it seems that it doesn't suit the both of them~" Lussuria sighed, placing a hand on his cheek.
"So you think that the both of them are BOYFRIENDS, huh, trash?" Xanxus decided to join the conversation. His hunger gone since the conversation that they had started made him forget food for once.
"Voi! But what makes you think that those brats are boyfriends when you just merely combined they're first letter of their names?" Squalo was amused at how the two youngest brats were still fighting, despite the conversation that they were making about them, and that they saw the both of them make a temporary truce and release their irritation at (poor) Levi, since he made a side comment about them.
That was nice… Knives + Illusions = Death of the person that it was released to.
"Saa~ I know that it sounds illogical but… Can't you see that the evidence is right in front of you~ Their relationship might not be the lovey dovey type but since Bel-kun always throws his knife at Fran-chan and Fran-chan doesn't seem to mind then that means that~…" Lussuria couldn't finish his sentence since he was giggling so much that he couldn't finish the sentence.
Well good thing Xanxus came to the rescue, "They have an S and M relationship" Xanxus concluded as he drank his wine, he was somehow getting Lussuria's point though it was illogical, but fun nonetheless. And ohhh, this was so much better than watching it on TV. So this is what people say that watching entertainment live is so much better that watching it in TV.
Squalo couldn't believe that their Boss would actually join a conversation and tolerate the noise that was happening in the same room as he is! It seemed the Apocalypse is here…
"Hmmm…Is it me or does Boss and Squalo's first letter when combined almost spell the word SeX?" Mammon asked innocently, the pink paper with the unicorns drawn in it was in his barely seen hands.
It seemed it made everyone in the room quieted down as they looked at the innocent yet confused ex-Mist Guardian, who just standing there with the pink paper in hand.
Each and every one of them had a unique expression to what Mammon just said. Bel, who was grinning like an idiot, and Fran, who just had his pokerfaced expression though there were emotions filling his eyes, quieted down. Levi had his mouth wide open, his body turning white similar to a sheet of paper and then turning to dust, starting from his feet. Squalo was gapping like a fish but then he remembered that if your name or anything related to a person's name is the first one before his/her partner's name then that means that he/she is the Seme of their relationship. (A/N: Like HibaTsu or also known as 1827. It means that Hibari is on top or also known as Seme of Hibari and Tsuna's relationship while Tsuna is the Uke or the one who is under) Lussuria was giggling like a school girl again, blood sipping out of his nose. And finally Xanxus…was looking at Squalo.
"Ushishishi…the Prince didn't know that Mammon thought of that way…shishi" Bel snickered, taking out the knife that was on Fran's hat and stabbing him again with it. Making Fran mutter an emotionless, 'Sempai, itai'
"Uwaa~ this will be a great story for Takeshi-kun~" Lussuria muttered to himself.
"Bo-bos-bossu?" Levi was nearly disappearing from shock.
"Voiii…if it were to happen then I'll be the one who's going to dominate you" Squalo smirked at Xanxus, making some of them shock that the Swordsman did not retort what Mammon said earlier and was not bothered at all that his and Xanxus' name almost spelled that word 'sex' while the other's who knew their secret relationship together kept silent.
Xanxus stayed quiet, drinking his wine calmly. While Squalo was gritting his teeth that he wasn't bothered at all to what he just said. And Squalo knew that Xanxus always wanted to be the one who is dominating and not the one who is being dominated in their relationship.
After one minute of silence, Xanxus finally placed his empty wine glass on the table and stood up, walking towards Swordsman, who was crossing his arms on his chest as he fumed.
He neared the Swordsman, making Squalo somehow sweating nervously. Maybe he should say sorry to him for saying such a comment. But no his pride suddenly took over him when Xanxus was a foot away from him. They were almost nose to nose but he could still feel the hot breath of the raven haired man in front of him. Was it him or was it getting hotter and hotter every second?
"Voi! What do you want?" he asked, looking courageous in front of Xanxus. But Xanxus just smirked and swept him off his feet as he carried the surprised silver haired man bridal style.
The whole Varia did not expect their Boss to act so boldly in front of them. Well it was after all, their boss…he could possibly do whatever he want.
"Hmm…you know what trash you look sexy with your hair ponytailed...and by the way is that a challenge, trash?" Xanxus smirked, once again, when he whispered those words to Squalo's ear, making him blush and trash around Xanxus' arms. But the Varia leader just kept him still as they exited the dining hall. They could only hear Squalo screaming, 'VOIII! PUT ME DOWN YOU TRASH! OR I'L- hmmmm…VOIII! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BITE MY NECK AND GAVE ME A FUCKING HICK…hmmm FUCK YOU XANXUS!'.
Everyone looked at each other and said to each other silently, 'Let's just agree that we did not hear anything and that we keep it to ourselves' as they nod to each other.
"Maaa…It's getting late so I'll go back to my room and sleep…" Mammon yawned as he started to go to the door but stopped and looked at the Lussuria "…Lussuria I suggest you a dustpan, sweep up Levi and heal him with your Sun Flames…" he then looked at Fran, "…you, you come with me" as he twisted the door knob and opened the mahogany door as he exited with Fran following him.
"Ushishi…the Prince thinks he should retire too" Bel said, placing his knife to where it belongs and exited the door and walked lazily to his own bedroom.
The only ones who were left were, Levi and Lussuria. "There~! No more boo boos~!" Lussuria said happily looking at the now human Levi, who was sitting and was still in shock.
"Now now Levi~ don't pull on such a face~" Lussuria said, wanting to comfort the Lighting Guardian.
"But! Bossu! And that Shark-!" he shouted as he punched a hole on the floor.
"Now now Levi~ be glad I didn't tell the others what two letters I've combined~" he said happily
Levi was curious, so he asked, "What is it?" making Lussuria do his jellyfish dance…and then curiosity did kill the cat when he answered, "B and L~! It means BOYS LOVE~!" he squealed making Levi shock in a whole new different level.
"Ara~? Oy, Levi~ Don't turn to dust again~! Moah~" Lussuria said, looking at the rapidly disappearing Levi. Was it something that he said that made him turn him like that again? Boys Love wasn't that as extreme as the BoyFriend and SeX thingy was it? Oh well…he was sleepy and he wanted to email Yamamoto as soon as possible. So he left Levi and started to skip towards his room while humming a random song.
And throughout the mansion a scream was heard from the dining room,
…
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
PLEASE REVIEW!
A/N:For those who are reading my story, My Sister, My Snow Guardian, I think I'll be on HIATUS for awhile...
anyway please REVIEW~!:3