Written for June oneshot exchange by SiriusMarauderFan: for OCDdegrassi
Prompts:
Percy/Roger Davies
Romance/Angst
Forbidden/"This is all I ever wanted."/"Stand By You" by Rachel Platten
Percy was always an overachiever in every aspect of his life. In his work. In his image. In his future. He looked at life like an algorithm, a puzzle. Everything had to fit together, no deviation. There is a process for being successful, and if you follow it, you will not fail. He could not fail. There is a time and a place for everything, goals have to be met. He had his life planned out from the moment they met, and the layout had not changed in the past three years. Percy knew what he wanted, and he knew how he was going to achieve it.
And that is why they would never be together.
Roger was in the middle of his fifth year at Hogwarts. He should be focusing on his career, his future; outlining a study program for his OWLs, and he was. But he also had another pressing matter on his hand. One that seemed to take up most of his attention: Percy Weasley. More importantly, the fact that it was Percy's last year at Hogwarts.
He and Roger had struck up an easy friendship at the start of Roger's third year. They had both spent a lot of time in the Library during his first two years, but they had never spoken until the following year. They had sat at the same table at the library, by chance. A secluded area near the back that was always open, and perfect for long study sessions. Right next to the windows, it was a peaceful spot.
Before this, Roger had never really had a set place he would stay, mainly drifting around to tables near the sections he was in, but had often times found himself in the opposite corner as the redhead, in an equally secluded corner. On this day, however, he had found a couple that was taking advantage of the seclusion in a much different way. He had quickly retreated, and gone in search of something - while still secluded - a little less appealing to the more adventurous students. That's where, a few minutes later, he found the perfect spot, and Percy.
His face was still slightly flushed from his encounter when he had set his books down, not paying attention to the older boy across from him.
They mostly ignored each others' presence at first. An easy silence falling over them, broken occasionally by the sound of quill in inkpot, or the scratching on parchment. Roger's about to dip his quill again, when Percy inquired:
"Medieval witch burnings?"
Roger jumped slightly at the sudden noise, causing his ink to spill over the table. He quickly pulled his papers from the spreading ink, and up-righted his inkwell in a panic.
Percy already had his wand in hand, and tapped the table with a muttered spell. The ink vanish from the table, and Roger could see it filling in the inkwell once more. "Sorry about that," Percy added with an apologetic glance and slight shrug.
"No, it's fine. You just startled me. How'd you know what my essay's on?"
"I doubt Binn's lesson plans have ever changed, even when he was alive," he said this as fact, not giving an inclination of his thoughts on the matter. That's how Percy had always been to those who didn't know him better, or couldn't read his infliction. State the facts, and let them speak for themselves. "Plus," Percy motioned towards the books Roger had brought over. It was easy to see they followed the subject matter.
"Did you write on this last year, then?" Roger asked.
"The year before, I'm a fifth year. Percy Weasley." He held out his hand.
Roger smiled and took it. "Roger Davis."
Percy nodded curtly. "I know some other texts on the matter, if you're interested?"
And that's how their friendship had began. In that corner of the library, discussing famous wizards in history for the good portion of the day, and returning there the following day, and many days after that.
The following year had been different. They of course had gotten to know each other through the course of Roger's third year. You can't spend a majority of your free time with someone, and not know them better than when you started. However, Roger would never argue that he truly knew Percy. Not until the end of last year year.
He had started to spend more time with Roger away from studies, though Percy had also started to spend more time with a girl named Penelope. This meant his and Roger's study sessions were cut down significantly from before. They now met Sundays and spent the day together, along with a few hours during the week. That same year, Percy's youngest sister had began at Hogwarts, and Percy had been very worried. He would never admit it to anyone, including himself, but Roger knew from the many times he spoke of them, that Percy was very protective of his younger siblings. All of them. He had noticed something was off with his youngest sister, and he was worried the attacks were frightening her. He had hated that this was her first year here, as Hogwarts was usually never this dark. There were talks of closing the school. On many Sundays, Roger spent hours listening to Percy worry over his younger sister, and how this was affecting her. Listen to him worry over the twins, and how they needed to be more focused on their future. Worry about his youngest brother, who spent much of his time around Harry Potter, a boy who always seemed to be getting into some sort of trouble. Worry about how one of his siblings could be next, and there had to be something he could do. Roger tried his best to reassure him that they would be fine, and even if they were petrified, that Madam Pomfrey was working on the mandrake antidote as they spoke. However, mostly, Percy just needed someone to listen. From the sound of it, he didn't talk much with his younger siblings, and they never paid him much mind. From the way Percy spoke, and the way he apologized for speaking too much, Roger could tell that he had never really had someone to rely on. During that year, Roger had vowed to always be there for Percy, to be someone who he could rely on. He had a small irritation for all of Percy's siblings. That they could live with him, grow up with him, and never appreciate him for who he really was, for Percy was brilliant, Roger had come to realize. He was compassionate and caring, hardworking and the most intelligent wizard he had ever met. He was fiercely defensive -of his siblings, and of himself-, adorably awkward, and never knew how to accurately express his feelings. He was simultaneously insecure and confident, hesitant and sure. All things that made Roger's feelings towards him grow stronger than any he'd held before. It was not just that he felt protective of him, he also had a deep respect for the older boy. There was also something more, though these were feelings he refused to admit, even to himself.
Percy would speak to him about many things in his life, without apology, and Roger loved it. They spent Sundays discussing their future, their plans, their goals. Discussing topics, debating points. Roger was happy. That wasn't to say he didn't see anyone else. Percy was seeing this new girl, of course, and this was strictly a friendship, nothing more. Right?
He had many short flings, lasting anywhere from a few weeks, to a single night. Boys and girls. He had what he would consider a longer relationship shortly after the new year. Six weeks, if that could be considered long. But the boy in question had ended things after the fights started occurring. He insisted, though Roger adamantly denied it, that Percy was more than a friend. He was also frustrated by the fact that Roger seemed to want to spend more time with Percy than with him. They had parted ways, after which Roger had finally admitted to himself the full extent of his feelings for Percy. It was with this realization that Roger had gone into the summer. It was a lot to think about.
Roger had vowed, during this summer he spent thinking, that he was going to tell Percy his feelings, no matter what. With that resolve, he had gone into his fifth year, and Percy's final. But then Percy had announced to him that he was dating the girl from last year: Penelope. And that's when Roger realizes,
they would never be together.
And that's how Percy finds himself, a few weeks before winter break. Dejected, still focusing on his chances with Percy, and the fact that he had none. He had thrown all his efforts into focusing on school and Quidditch, for he had become the Captain this year. But now things were dying down, there was less to focus on. The teachers had stopped teaching new assignments, and focused on helping their students study for their exams coming up in the next week. Roger had less need for the last minute study crams that most of his fellow students partook in. He had been buried in his schoolwork all year. He sat dejectedly in the Ravenclaw commonroom, distractedly flipping through some pages in his textbook, head in hand.
Percy is such a complicated person. He deserves someone better than Penelope, his fellow Ravenclaw. He deserves someone who knows him, who he can talk to, who thinks the world of him. Not just someone who is there because she likes his brains. Of course Percy is smart, of course it's good to appreciate such a key factor of who he is, but that's not all he is. That's not even the most important part. He's so much more than that. Percy deserved someone who appreciates him for all he is. With that resolve, Roger stood up to go confront Percy.
He knew he was in the Library. He and Penelope always spent their Monday nights there, until late evening, when Madam Pince had all but left, dozing off in behind her desk.
Roger walked briskly, adrenaline pushing him forward. He reaches the doors to the library, and pauses to take a deep breath. He hadn't even thought what he'd say, in his haste to get down here. First, he'd of course get him alone, away from Penelope. And then he'd just... be honest. It would work.
He opened the doors to the library, Madam Pince not even stirring, and made his way to the corner of the library. He rounded the corner and spoke before he lost his nerve:
"Hey, Perse, could I speak to you alone?" he asked, right as the scene registered before him. Percy, just like the couple he had ran into the day he met him, had been locked in an embrace with his girlfriend. They broke apart when they realized they had company.
"Oh, Roger, hi," the famous Weasley blush forming along his cheeks and neck. He could see that Percy was as flustered as himself.
"I'm so sorry, excuse me," Roger said, hoping to keep his voice level. "I'll just be going." And he turned his back, nearly sprinting from the Library.
By the time he made it back to his dorms, he was panting. He couldn't think well enough to solve any riddle, and collapsed before the door, resting his head on the wall. He should have known. He should have never gotten his hopes up. He had been right all along.
He and Percy would never be together.