'At this point, all Magnus wanted was Alec closer, facing him, his head on his chest and to be tangled together. It was his fault, of course. He'd said some choice things when they were fighting - again. He didn't mean to, and god, did he regret it, but it was in the heat of the moment and he was tired. He was so tired. Of them constantly fighting and yelling all the time. It seemed that it was all they did anymore. And Magnus was afraid. He was honestly terrified because he did not want to lose his Shadowhunter. If only they could start things over. Maybe if they tried it all over again, everything would be right. "Tell me a story," Alec had suddenly murmured quietly, so quietly that Magnus nearly didn't hear him. The Shadowhunter remained curled up on his side, facing the wall, away from Magnus. A story? Magnus thought, baffled. "Please?" Alec whispered, and that did it for Magnus. He couldn't say no, then. Silence stretched on for a few moments more, hanging in the air heavily. "Once upon a time, there was a Warlock..." He started softly, his voice seeming to fill the room and bounce off the walls.'
Magnus remembered his story from last night. It filled his head, seeped into every empty space and filled him up until he was full and still it filled him up some more. He tried to push it away - he couldn't afford to be distracted in this situation. Fighting a -rather large- pack of demons while not focused could cost him. Just as he set a demon on fire, he heard Alec, somewhere behind him, cry out. Magnus turned just in time to see the young boy sink to his knees.
'This warlock had lived alone, for a long, long time, having to learn to accept who he was; what he was.'
"Alec!" Magnus cried, struggling to get to the wounded Alec, who was now laying on the ground, demons on top of him.
'One day, this warlock met someone. A very pretty someone, with pretty blue eyes and pretty black hair. That someone had instilled himseld into the Warlock's lide, so completely tht in every memory the Warlock had, there that someone was. When he thought back to the first time he learned to cast a glamour, that someone was there, congratulating him. It was as if they had known eachother forever. Then they fell in love. It was quick and messy and sudden, but it felt so right, neither wanted to stop. They both make mistakes, of course. The warlock made most of them. And soon things fell apart. It was expected; but it still came as a shock. All the warlock wanted was to start things over again, to have, say, a clean slate.'
A clean slate. The words rang in Magnus's ears; embedded themselves inside him, as he killed off the last demon and struggled to Alec's side. The Shadowhunter was unconcious, blood soaking his clothes and the ground around him. It was a mantra, repeated non stop inside his head. A clean slate. A clean slate. A clean slate.
'Then the warlock found a way. He found a way to start things all over again. It should have been impossible; but there it was, staring him in the face. Now you have to remember, this Warlock was selfish. Very, very selfish. And he decided to try it. With no say from his lover. He thought it was the best option. He thought that it would be better. "You know what he did?" Magnus had asked, still staring at the ceiling, a single tear making its way down his cheek. "What?" Alec had asked gently, not moving an inch.'
Magnus's heart leapt in his chest. The injuries were bad, but not unfixable. And then Magnus realized how ironic this all was. Here the chance presented itself; it was so close. All he had to do was reach out and grasp it. This was what he wanted, wasn't it? A new beginning? And then, without misssing a beat, he made his decision. Selfish, selfish warlock, a voice chimed in the back of his mind as he laid his hand over a deep gash on Alec's chest. After he healed that, slowly, he rested his hand over Alec's forhead. The workings of the spell he found in the spell book ran through his mind. He could do it with his eyes closed, it was that easy. All he had to do... And he did it. Blue sparks danced. Magnus bit his lip, hard, reminding himself that it was better this way. But was it really? And who, exactly, was it better for?
'The Warlock erased his lover's mind. Emptied it of any memories he had of the Warlock. The Warlock became a stranger on the street; nothing more than a face to the blue eyed someone. All so they could start over fresh. At this, Alec had made a soft, strangled sound. "I told you he was selfish." Magnus had whispered.'
Magnus stood outside the door of the Institute. He couldn't help it; he had to make sure Alec was okay. He hadn't seen the Shadowhunter since he'd dumped him on the steps of the Insitute without a word after he'd healed him. He knocked on the door for the sake of normalcy. The door opened and he was standing there, his blue eyes bright; brighter than he'd ever seen them. There was no trace of recognition in Alec's eyes as he looked over Magnus. Of course there wasn't. What was Magnus expecting? "Hello," Magnus said stiffly in greeting. "Hi," Alec said wearily back. "And you are?"
Magnus felt his heart, then. It seemed to snap clean in half. But he kept a straight face, because after all, this is what he wanted, wasn't it?
It was what he'd wanted, at one point.
He didn't want it anymore.
Wow um okay that was kind of depressing, haha. If you didn't really understand, I'm sorry. Ask me and I'll clarify as best I can. I had this idea last night and then I woke up this morning and I couldn't get it out of my head so I decided to type it out. Hope you enjoyed xx