Disclaimer: Characters not mine, no copyright intended
Angsty Matt. Enjoy. Please let me know if you do *g*
Matt couldn't shake the feeling that they'd missed something as he watched the rest of the team complete the final checks before heading back to the ARC. He knew they were all incredibly thorough and professional at what they did, and normally he'd be happily helping Becker to check in all of the EMDs as they were handed back, or assisting Abby with a creature that had to go back with them to the menagerie. Today, however, he was stood observing and going over everything that had happened in his mind to try and shake off the sense of unease.
It had been a long afternoon. Dealing with what should have been a fairly routine anomaly had taken an awkward turn when three members of the public ran through the anomaly to escape the charging herd of Styracosaurus. They were found a few minutes later cowering behind a tree, dazed and very confused but thankfully unharmed save for a few grazes and scratches. Emily had been sat with them on the steps of one of the military vehicles as they waited for an ambulance to take them to the local hospital for checks and now she was busy finishing her written notes.
Matt smiled. Emily had finally found a proper place on the team that suited her. She was a 'people' person and her soft, calm voice immediately put frightened people at ease. As she chatted to them, she'd get their personal details which she would pass on to the Minister back at the ARC. They'd later get a visit from an official to ensure their silence on what they'd witnessed.
Over by the anomaly, Connor was making sure that the locking device was working properly and instructing the two soldiers that were going to be guarding it on the basic operations just in case the lock failed. Abby was helping Becker load the weapons into his truck along with her tranquilliser gun that she still insisted on bringing, even though the EMDs had been proven to be enough to sedate any creature that would have to be transported to the ARC. Matt supposed that, like Becker, she liked the security of the tools she was most familiar with, and it was good to have a back up just in case the EMDs didn't work.
The clean up operation seemed to be going smoothly and he tried to dismiss his concerns as tiredness and hunger. He'd not had lunch and his stomach was growling. He decided he'd ask Jess to order him in a pizza so that he could eat whilst he finished his report on this afternoon's events. Becker signalled that he was ready to leave, and Abby jumped in the front passenger seat of his truck, leaving Connor and Emily to travel back to the ARC with Matt in the other truck.
"Are we good to go too, Connor?" Matt called.
"Yes, won't be a minute." Connor checked that the soldiers had his mobile number just in case and then picked up his rucksack before striding towards where Matt was waiting. As he approached, Matt's expression changed. He looked worried. "Everything OK?"
"That woman we rescued earlier. Did she have a rucksack?"
Connor nodded. "I think so. She had something on her back when she went through."
"I don't remember seeing a bag of any kind when I was talking to her," Emily said. "She wasn't making a lot of sense, she seemed pretty upset about the whole experience."
"Well that's not surprising," Connor said. "Do you think she dropped her rucksack on the other side of the anomaly when she was running from the Styracosaurus?"
It made sense now. That would be why Matt felt they'd missed something. "We'll have to go and see if we can retrieve it. Do those soldiers have EMDs?" Connor nodded. "Good. Emily, you stay here with one of the soldiers and keep an eye on the anomaly. Connor and I will go through with the other and see if we can find the woman's bag. If the anomaly shows any sign of weakening, you're to shout for us to return."
Connor unlocked the anomaly and told the remaining soldier to lock it when they'd gone through and to unlock it every ten minutes until they came back. Matt went first, and Connor and the second soldier followed.
"It can't be far," Connor said. "We found the woman and the others hiding over by that tree over there."
"Spread out," Matt ordered. "Frightened people don't tend to run in the expected pathway. They could've criss-crossed all over the place before they settled in their hiding place." It was times like this that Matt was grateful for Connor's experience in this kind of environment. The Styracosaurus were from the late Cretaceous era, and Connor was obviously at ease in the forest. He'd slipped straight into survival mode the moment they'd stepped through and it made Matt feel secure. There would be nothing that could get past Connor easily.
"Sir, over there." The soldier pointed towards a couple of large rocks just by the base of the cluster of trees where the civilians had hidden. A blue bag was wedged between them. As Matt moved forward to get it, he heard a sound that sent a chill down his spine. He froze and glanced back at Connor and the soldier. They'd heard it too.
"What sort of creature would make a sound like that, Connor?"
"It sounded like a human baby to me."
"That's what I thought too." The feeling of unease he'd experienced earlier returned and intensified. How could there be a baby here? His eyes frantically scanned the surroundings, looking for any sign of the infant. Connor was scrambling around in the nearby shrubbery, a fearful look on his face. The cries grew louder and more distressed, and Matt's unease made him feel sick. It was too painful to hear; he had to find the baby now.
They all saw it at the same time, safely hidden in a hollow in the rocks and wrapped securely in a pink blanket. Matt got there first and knelt down to pick up the now frantic baby. "Hey, sweetheart," he said softly. "It's OK, I've got you now." As he stood up, he pressed the baby to his chest and folded both his arms around her.. The cries began to subside as the baby felt the warmth and security from Matt's embrace.
"Let's get back," Connor said, looking over at the anomaly and then at his watch. The soldier on the other side should be unlocking it any moment and he was anxious for them not to have to linger here any longer than necessary with the baby. The second it opened, the three men were running through it, and Matt was calling to Connor to get in the driver's seat of the car.
"Matt?" Emily was as his side, her mouth open. "No wonder that poor woman was so distressed! She was trying to tell me that we'd left her baby behind. She must have hidden her to protect her from the creatures, the poor thing!" She held out her arms to take the baby from Matt, but he pulled her closer into his chest and softly kissed the top of her head.
"We need to get this little one reunited with her mother as soon as possible. Where did they take the woman? Do we have a name?"
"All I could get out of her was that her name is Sally. She was taken to the City hospital."
"That's something. Connor, you need to drive us to the hospital. I'll sit in the back with this one, we really shouldn't have a baby in the front without a proper car seat." Before anyone could argue, Matt was opening the rear passenger door and sliding himself in. He placed the seatbelt around himself and then held the baby against his body again. The cries were nothing more than sniffles and whimpers now, much to the relief of everyone, and as soon as Emily was safely settled into the front passenger seat, Connor sped off in the direction of the hospital.
"You OK back there, Matt?" Connor smiled, glancing in the rear view mirror.
"I'm fine. I think she's calming down now."
"She likes you," Emily said.
Matt felt his cheeks burn. "She just feels safe that's all. The sooner we get to the hospital and find her mother, the better."
But when they got to the hospital, the doctor informed them that Sally had discharged herself without being checked over. They couldn't force her to stay if she didn't want to, but it meant that no-one was any wiser as to who she was or where she lived.
"If it was me," Emily said. "I would be making my way back to the anomaly site to look for my child."
"Agreed." Matt motioned for Connor and Emily to follow him and they went back to the car. They assumed that they would be going back to the anomaly, but Matt told Connor to drive to the ARC instead. "We'll call the soldiers on guard to let us know if the mum shows up, the best place for our little lady here is in the warmth."
"Shouldn't we be letting the police deal with this?" Connor was worried. "The ARC isn't equipped for babies, and this is really a case for Social Services."
Matt shook his head. He was certain the mother would show up within a few hours and he didn't really want to involve anyone else. Too many awkward questions would be asked and it would put the project at risk of being exposed.
Emily was having none of it though. "So that poor woman turns up at the anomaly to look for her baby and is met by two soldiers? She's distraught enough, Matt."
"You're right. We'll drop you off at the site and you can wait for her. At least you're a familiar face." He closed his eyes and kissed the baby's head again, either choosing to ignore or completely missing the concerned looks that Connor and Emily exchanged.
-o-
By the time Matt and Connor got back to the ARC, word had spread about the new arrival. Matt was immediately surrounded by practically every woman that worked there, all making cooing and ahhing sounds. Connor left Matt to it, striding over to where a slightly bemused Becker was looking on. He stood beside him and watched as the women seemed to melt into goo at the sight of the baby.
"Seems I've been doing the flirting thing wrong all this time," Becker sighed. Connor gave him a look. "Well, I thought women liked to be complimented on their looks or their clothes, be given flowers or taken out for a meal. Looks like all I had to do was find myself a baby."
Connor laughed nervously, looking on at the gathering crowd. "It's not natural though, is it?" he sniffed. "For a man to be like that with someone else's baby, I mean. It would be different with your own I suppose. I didn't have Matt as the paternal type."
"Are any of us? Until we're actually facing the situation where we have a little life depending on their daddy, we don't know how we'd react. Just wait till Abby starts getting broody!"
Connor glanced over, anxious to see how Abby was reacting. He wasn't sure if the fact she was just as vocal as Jess and the others was something he should be happy or worried about. Becker grunted something he didn't catch and walked off in the direction of the armoury, so Connor decided to be brave and see if he could drag Abby away to go home. As he approached, he saw Jess's nose wrinkle in disgust.
"Oh, Matt, I think someone needs a nappy change."
Matt held the baby up and sniffed. His face said it all. "You're right. Connor, is there anything in that bag in the way of fresh nappies?"
Connor had a rummage inside – the mother was well prepared. A packet of wipes, a couple of disposable nappies and a bottle of milk made up ready for the next feed. He held up a nappy triumphantly and Jess took it from him,
"Here, let me." She held out her arms for Matt to pass the baby to her, but he shook his head and took the nappy from her.
"I may be a man but I do know how to change a nappy, Jess." He pushed his way past the crowd, putting his arms protectively around the baby and grabbing the bag from Connor as he made his way towards the men's bathroom. Everyone watched, open mouthed and then dispersed when he had disappeared from view.
"How rude," Jess commented. "Funny how a baby can change people sometimes, even when it's only been for a few minutes."
Abby slid her hand into Connor's and squeezed it, making Connor look at her. "He does know that he has to give her back at some point, doesn't he?"
"Yeah," Connor nodded, though he didn't sound entirely sure. "He's just acting a bit weird, that's all. I think he blames himself for leaving her behind when we rescued those people and he wants to make sure he doesn't let her out of his sight until the mum shows up."
"You could be right, Connor. Now, I think it's time we headed for home. If they need us, they'll call." She tugged Connor's hand and they nodded goodbyes, only glancing back to look towards the door to the men's bathroom and wonder how Matt was coping.
-o-
Matt gazed down into the bright, blue eyes of the baby girl who now seemed completely happy as if nothing unusual had happened to her. The tears of earlier had been replaced by smiles and little giggles as Matt ensured she was properly cleaned up before putting a fresh nappy on.
Then it began to hit; a painful memory that almost overwhelmed him. His eyes stung with tears, a mix of anger and grief, and he was not able to stop them from falling. A child was a precious gift; one he'd once been given but lost far too soon. He was taken back to a time when the pain he was experiencing now was fresh and raw. It had threatened to consume him completely until he had been presented with an opportunity to help put things right. The death of his daughter, not much older than the baby girl looking up at him now, had been the fuel in the fire that had driven everything he had done since.
The bathroom door opened and he pulled himself together just as Becker came in. He acknowledged him and then began to fasten up the all in one suit that the baby was wearing.
"Emily called," Becker said softly. "The mother is with her at the anomaly site. I said we'd be there in about fifteen minutes"
"Thank you," Matt responded, pushing down the feeling of dread he could feel building inside. It was his own fault, he'd allowed himself to get attached even though he knew he would have to give her up. Saying goodbye to another baby would rip his heart out.
-o-
"Thank you!" Sally sobbed, cradling her baby in her arms. "I was certain those...things... had got her."
"She doesn't seem to have been too traumatised by it all," Matt said.
"Thanks to you. I'll make sure Lucy knows what you all did for her today, especially you." Sally held her up towards Matt. "Come on, Lucy, say 'thank you' to Uncle Matt for looking after you today!"
As Matt leaned forward and kissed little Lucy's cheek, he let out a sob that he immediately tried to disguise by coughing. He caught Becker's look of concern and knew that he'd not fooled the soldier that he also considered a close friend. One day he'd explain to him, and Emily, why today had been so hard. But not yet. He wasn't ready.
Becker arranged for one of his soldiers to drive Sally and Lucy home, then said he would take Matt and Emily home too. "I think I'll stay and watch the anomaly tonight," Matt said. "Tell your man he can go home."
"Matt? Are you OK?" Emily was concerned.
"I'm fine. I just need some time to myself to clear my head, and out here is perfect. You can send someone to relieve me in the morning."
"If you're sure?" Becker checked, but he could see Matt was certain and that he was battling with something he didn't want to share.
Matt watched them all leave until he was alone. He checked that the locking device was fully operational and then sat down on a rock. At last he could let out the emotions he'd been fighting back all afternoon. His eyes prickled as the first tears fell down his cheeks, and then, as if a tap had been turned on, the tears fell freely as Matt sobbed hard and long, his body shaking.
No-one actually had children by choice in his time, but sometimes they just needed the kind of closeness you only get by making love to someone. Cara had been a good friend, they'd been travelling together for several months when they had felt that need. When they realised that Cara was pregnant it had been a huge concern. Her health had deteriorated throughout the pregnancy, and by the time Aoife had been born she barely had the strength to even hold her before she passed away a few hours later. That was the first blow. Matt vowed to protect his daughter to the best of his abilities, and that was what he did for the first three months of her short life. He'd shielded her from creature attacks, he kept her covered when they had to travel over the surface and he even shared his food and water supplies with others in order to get things that she needed. He did everything he could, but in the end it wasn't enough. Her tiny lungs struggled for oxygen in the poisonous air until she drew her final breath.
Matt sat up and swallowed down the last of his tears. He looked around and smiled. He was surrounded by trees, and plants, and a variety of creatures – all alive because New Dawn didn't happen. Baby Lucy would be safely home now, in her mother's arms where she belonged and healthy with clean air to breathe and food she wouldn't have to fight for.
This was Aoife's legacy; he was here because of his desire to put things right and make sure other babies didn't have to die like she had. By stopping Philip Burton, he had ensured that the future for Lucy was a good one. That was definitely something to smile about.