Author's Note: This is a little joint fanfiction thingy I wrote with my friend Elphie Marky (her username)…It's the same events and all from Peter and Jason's point of view. I wrote Peter's POV and she wrote Jason's POV. It's cute, so there.

Disclaimer: Not ours. Duh.

It's moments like this when I really start to think.

Moments when I'm alone with Jason, when I'm sure we're alone…and he gets all paranoid. He has strict rules for us, always with the rules. The biggest one probably being the one that hurts the most…outside of the dorm room, we're strictly best friends. Nothing more, got that Peter?

Yeah. I get it.

Just the fact that he's holding my hand right now should make me feel better about this all, but I know it's only because we know we're alone. No one ever comes around this path.

"So...did Lucas tell you? He finally asked Tanya out..." I say, trying to distract myself from that ever present feeling in the pit of my stomach. The one that makes me worry, makes me feel every bad feeling I could possibly feel. The one that suggests (irrationally…I think) that Jason just doesn't care the way that I do.

"No way. I didn't think he'd ever get the courage up. It was like he was in middle school or something." He interrupts my thoughts, making me smile inwardly, especially as I hear him laugh. I love Jason's laugh. It makes me feel content.

"It could have been worse...you know, the whole note thing. 'Do you like me? Check yes or no'. Sadly, I can see him doing that..." I smile, letting myself relax a little. I guess it's okay to talk about our friends sometimes. It takes away from the seriousness that often hangs in the air.

Jason laughs again, and I can't help but think it's the best sound in the whole world. "Me too. I'm just glad I didn't have any of those issues or stupid fears when I asked you out." He squeezes my hand, and I can't help but blush.

I love when he brings up us.

"Probably because you basically skipped that step and just kissed me."

"Well, I figured that'd be the best way to get my point across."

"Well it worked," I look over at Jason and grin slyly. I take a step closer to him. I want a kiss. "It's awfully quiet around here, isn't it?" I hint.

I'm not sure whether he's ignoring my hint or if he just doesn't notice. "Hmm, parks don't seem too popular on Friday nights. Lucky us, I guess."

I'd like to think he just didn't notice.

"You know…I was thinking the other day…" I start nervously. He doesn't know what's coming, but I'm sure he won't like it. Hopefully it won't result in an argument. I hate the arguments we have from time to time…it brings on that feeling in my stomach.

"Yeah?" he answers casually. He doesn't know.

"Would it really hurt to just...go to the movies together one night? I mean, we could sit in the back row, it would be dark...no one would have to know...except for us."

It's something I've been thinking about. I mean, if we go far enough from St. Cecilia's, we wouldn't risk running into anyone we know. I honestly don't see how it could hurt. A real date. It would be the best thing.

But Jason just shakes his head. I should have known better. "It wouldn't work, Peter. We can't."

I can't help but let my next words slip out in a semi-stubborn voice. "I just don't see why not. No one we know would be there. We could be like a...a real couple."

A real couple. The words ring in my head. We are a real couple, aren't we? We just have some…restrictions.

"Just because we think we're alone doesn't mean there aren't people watching us. Like, right now." He pauses as we see a bicyclist speed by in the other direction. He drops my hand, only taking it back in his as he's sure the guy is gone. I frown at this, and squirm slightly as he takes my hand back. "Besides, since when did going to the movies make anyone a 'real' couple?"

"Jason-" I start. With a slight pout I mumble, "That guy wasn't watching us, he probably didn't even notice us..." it's true in my mind…honestly, what the hell can one see other than the path when they're on a bicycle? "And I was just using the movies as an example. I hear dinner is always nice too." I might as well just offer it all, right? I do with everything else.

"I can heat up some Chef Boyardee in the microwave down the hall if you'd like me to make you dinner. I'll even get you the ones with the Ninja Turtle shaped noodles. And we can eat it in my bed and watch the game."

I am stunned and hurt. He can't be serious. "You know that's not what I mean! I want to go on a date, Jason, I want to do something other than sit on your bed and watch the game. That's not the way we should spend the rest of our lives..."

The rest of our lives. That's how long I want to be with Jason. Forever and then some. But he never seems to get that. I know I'm not some silly teenager about this, I've truly found my soulmate.

"Look, Peter. We can't. Someone might see us and... we just can't. Not here or now, anyway."

"So someone sees us," I say dryly. "It's not going to be anyone we know, so why should it matter so much? Not here or now? Then where and when?" I persist. I won't give up that easily.

"So the fact that they don't know us is going to stop them from saying something or doing something to us? Yeah, all right. And somewhere far, far away from St. Cecilia's. Can you really see anyone there letting this blow over?"

I don't get why he cares so much about what strangers think about us. They're strangers, for God's sake! I'm sure we wouldn't be the first gay couple they've ever seen.

"It's not like we'd be the first...couple like us to go out in public. The world isn't always that bad, you know," I don't know why I can't just bring myself to say 'gay couple'…that is what we are, isn't it? But when I actually say it out loud, it feels funny. With a sigh, I change my tactic to talking about St. Cecilia's. "If they can turn a blind eye to everyone else having 'premarital sex', why not us holding hands?"

It's a stupid thing to say. Homosexuality is so condemned in the teachings, and Jason and I both know that it wouldn't be possible for them to just 'turn a blind eye'.

Jason lets go of my hand and crosses his arms, and I know the argument is about to get bad. It's the defensive look, he's ready for anything now. "I just can't, Peter. It's really great that you're so comfortable with all of this, but you need to understand that I'm still getting used to all of it, okay?" He walks ahead, starting for the playground that's at the end of the path.

I must look so hurt right now, because that's how I feel. And I've never really been able to control my emotions that well, not as well as Jason can. Sometimes I have so much trouble containing myself when I see the girls all over Jason. It's not fair…he's mine.

I want to kiss him in front of all of them. And show them just how little a chance they have.

"It's not a matter of being comfortable...it's a matter of being free…" I mumble softly with a shake of my head. "What is there to 'get used to'. Not much is different except our relationship in our room."

Jason completely ignores me, and I almost want to cry. He heads for the swingset, sitting down on a swing and wrapping his hands around the chains. He slowly kicks at the ground, rocking back and forth not too far off the ground. If we weren't fighting right now, it would be such a nice sight.

I walk slowly, but I eventually have to come to where he sits. I can't bring myself to say anything, but a soft sigh escapes. I watch Jason, willing this all to be over, to not feel so bad right now. But I do feel bad right now, and that's not going to change anytime soon.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jason look up at me. I guess he notices that I'm not looking back and he stares at his feet. "Look, Peter..." he starts. I don't want to hear anything that comes out of his mouth right now. It's not fair.

The sky is beautiful, and I look at it to avoid having to look at Jason. "Forget it, alright?" I snap.

"No, it's just... This is all so new to me, okay? This whole... acknowledging my feelings. I just need more time to take all this in. You understand that right?" I see him looking up at me again, and risk a look at him, seeing the hope in his eyes. I know that look, it's the look he had right before he kissed me for the first time, the first time he suggested going further, the look that just makes me want to bend to his every will.

Because I don't understand, and it's not fair. But I crack at that look in his eyes.

I sigh. "It doesn't matter, Jason...I was just being irrational anyway...of course we can't be seen...like that..." I'm still trying to avoid looking in his eyes. Because then I'll get the full blast, and I don't think I can handle that right now.

"No, you weren't. I mean, there's no reason we shouldn't be able to... just not now." His voice grows softer. "Hey, look at me. Please?"

"As much as your reasoning suggests otherwise..." I mumble, and sigh softly. "Jason, if I look at you, I won't be able to stand it." I smile slightly, unable to help it. He knows all too well what that look does to me. "You'll break me down in no time."

I can feel him looking at me, but I still refuse to look back. "Just because we don't go to the movies together or go out as a couple like everyone else doesn't mean I don't love you, okay?" I feel his gaze leave me, he's probably looking at the ground again. The soft sound of his foot hitting the dirt confirms this.

I blush slightly and look back at Jason. Being alone like this does lend time to say the things that can't usually be said. But the thought scares me…what if he doesn't mean it? "Okay...I love you too..." I say softly. Because it's the truth. And sometimes the truth is just that scary.

I can see him slightly now, his gaze back on me and a slight smile playing on his perfect lips. "So, will you come over here?"

I cross my arms over my chest, not completely sure what to do. My body decides for me and I take a step closer.

He gives me a look, one of the ones that makes me melt completely and holds out his hand to me. I can't help it; I grin slightly and take his hand. I feel like I'm complete again.

I only get to see his wide smile for a brief moment before he pulls me onto his lap, wrapping an arm around my waist and holding me close. I let out a soft 'oh!' as he does so, not quite expecting it. I love moments like this. The fights forgotten, and everything right with the world again. "You'll wait until I'm ready, right? Because the only thing that scares me more than someone finding out is losing you."

How does he always know the right thing to say to get to my heart? It's not fair, he's too good at this.

Without a second thought, I grin widely. "I'd wait forever for you..." and I know it's true. Anything to stay in his arms, even if it's only in secret. At least that's easier for me to think when we're not arguing.

I cuddle back into Jason, burying my face in his neck and inhaling his scent. I love the way he smells, even though he sometimes masks it with various spray things that I don't quite understand. But even those I don't mind, because they're still him.

I feel his hand brushing away some loose strands of hair from my face. I know that means I'm supposed to look at him now…and finally I feel like it's alright to.

And I do look up, smiling shyly. "If we can still spend moments like this, I think it'll all be fine..."

Jason smiles back at me. "I think we'll be fine too."

He pulls my face closer to his, and my eyes flutter shut before his lips are even on mine. Jason kisses me gently, lovingly…and suddenly, everything is right with the world again.

I smile into the kiss, returning it just as gently, with just as much love.

The bad feeling in my stomach is gone, and I can't imagine ever wanting anything else in the world.