15 reasons why Jon would never take Sam to war (assuming he is quite involved in said war)
Okay so this is just something random I thought up last night. I don't mean to offend anyone so forgive me if I do, I only hope to entertain. It's not like I have anything against Sam, he's actually quite sweet. I hope you enjoy this, I don't think it's actually very funny but hope you will think differently!
Please review I would really really appreciate your feedback, my lovely reviewers ;) So here it is, please try and enjoy it :-)
1. His heavy breathing makes it obvious when he's around
2. If not his breathing, the smell of sweat makes his presence clear
3. He asks stupid questions; on the eve of war, Jon would hardly appreciate being asked who the enemy is
4. If he ever had to go disguised into the enemy camp, Sam would give him away with his incessant 'Jon'ning
5. Horses must be hard to come by in a war; Sam would probably ware out at least 3 a day
6. Sam does not understand the concept of rationing
7. As he is unable to convincingly wield a sword, or use his legs any more effectively than Bran, in an attempt to save Jon's life he would probably end up flattening him
8. Jon would hardly appreciate Sam's cowering body obstructing his way to his next opponent
9. The phrase "I've got your back" could not be applied
10. When planning the move that could win them the war Jon doesn't want to hear about all the girls Sam never had
11. There would be less tent space for everyone else
12. As an employed man of war, Jon is entitled to one free day a week. Unfortunately so is Sam. Men aren't allowed their dogs at war, why should Jon be allowed Sam?
13. Sam spends more of his time on the floor than he does standing
14. Just because Sam is constantly reminded how large he is, doesn't mean Jon must be reminded he's a Bastard every other moment
15. He's frightened of everything; probably the sight of Jon topless is enough to send him running... the only exercise he ever does
So that's it :) I really hope you enjoyed it, I'm away it doesn't all add up, especially in the context of war but meh... who cares? Please review, it makes me soooooooooooooo happy!
Thanks for reading it!