dedicated to: otakustone

happy (belated) birthday!

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

Not in the long run at least. She was a speed bump, a coffee stain, a footnote in the overarching novel of his life. Or, well, she was supposed to be. But that damned girl, in the fashion of her equally plebeian, brash brother, just flat out refused to be demoted to that. Her existence alone just screamed, shrieked to be the center of attention, the heroic protagonist, and sultry love interest all at the same time.

He groaned. Usui Pirika was literally the bane of his existence. Sure, most people thought that Ren and Horohoro were literally going to murder each other in cold blood one of these days but no one tested his patience more than Pirika who, even though the days of the Shaman Fight were long gone, still liked to proclaim that My brother is so much stronger than you and is going to be number one, hahaha, you can't hit me because I'm a girl and that would make you a sexist pig. He counted once. Forty-seven times in one day. Forty-seven times. She would brag and bother, annoy and pester him about how her brother was soooooooo awesome forty-seven times in twenty-four hours.

Great Spirit above, he sometimes wouldn't mind being a sexist pig.

So when she asked him out with the promised incentive that she would stop bothering him, zip, zero, no more mention of her brother at all, Ren was extremely keen on milking the shit out of this golden opportunity.

After all, he would forget about her in a matter of weeks and would be able to go about his life…like marrying what'sherface from France who his parents had set him up with. Because, he didn't believe in love, he didn't believe in a genuine marriage, and most of all he didn't believe in stupid high school relationships that expired in a few hours (seriously, it's like they slap an expiration date on those things).

In short, Pirika hardly mattered in the grand scheme of things.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

Not to her anyways. The only reason why Ren had even cropped up as her (forced) love interest was because of a deal. A wager.

Tickets to the Utada Hikaru concert and, like, oh my Great Spirit, Pirika totally looooooved Utada Hikaru and was planning on resorting to gross, flagrant murder to obtain her tickets because, goddamnit, Pirika had lived in Hokkaido all her life and had only seen her idol on TV or on her (very limited dial-up) Internet connection. But now that her brother was way too lazy to move all the way back up north and now that they were now attending high school in Tokyo but, most importantly, now that Utada freakin' Hikaru was going to be performing in Tokyo, Pirika was dead set on attending, even if it meant selling one of her kidneys on the black market.

Well, thankfully for Pirika's general health and wellbeing, she didn't have to do that. Instead, what'sherface from France with the silver hair and the iron casket (that frankly freaked the shit out of Pirika during the tournament) had tickets. That what'sherface from France didn't want. And she was willing to give them to Pirika.

Screw that weird condition that she had to date Tao Ren to get them. That was only collateral. She honestly was way too fixated on her idol to even wonder why what'sherface from France even wanted her to go out with Ren. Who cared? She got to see Utada Hikaru and that's all that mattered.

Not the weird Tao boy. He didn't matter at all.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

Or, well, that's what Ren thought when he sat outside her house in his car that was roughly worth the GDP of a third world country.

Give or take a few thousand yen.

Sure it was frustrating that he had to wait an additional fifty-three minutes (and twenty-eight seconds…but hey, who's counting?) for her to finally get ready. Sure it was awkward as they found out that they had literally nothing in common. Sure it was really, really annoying when the first thing that came out of her mouth during their entire date was a shriek as she flew into a CD store to see if they had a new shipment.

At this point, Ren was ready to throw in the towel and just go home. He had served his purpose.

But then suddenly, as they were sitting on a park bench with two sweaty cups of soda between them, the topic of their families came up.

And then the topic of their parents.

And then the topic of their fathers.

And then they realized that they had something better than mutual passions or interests or hobbies or goals. Something beautiful that tied them together.

They both really, really, really hated their fathers.

And then everything immediately looked bright and happy.

Pirika was convinced that she would, at the very least, never bother Ren again. And Ren was willing to take her off his (very lengthy) list of people he wanted to stab with a butter knife.

Needless to say, this may or may not have been the start of a beautiful…acquaintanceship.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

That's what Ren's parents were convinced about…at first. It was completely normal for Ren to want to get some experience with the opposite gender. It was completely fine for him to go out with other girls.

But if it ever, ever got out of hand and, more importantly, got in the way of his engagement with what'sherface from France, then…

Well…

There was a reason why the Tao's had a whole range of various assassins (organized according to their specialty from "arsenic poisoning" to "Zimbabwe kickboxing") pre-programmed on their phones.

And the Tao's were even more convinced when Ren completely dismissed the whole thing with a shrug, telling them she didn't matter at all.

And they sat back and were very much pleased with themselves.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

That's what Pirika kept saying over. And over. And over. And over, goddamnit, Horo, why aren't you listening to me? again to her brother.

Who was currently furious.

And shaking.

And dripping powdered ramen mix all over the floor.

Yes, perhaps in hindsight, telling her brother of her recent dating prospects while he was in the midst of cooking instant ramen for the first time by himself may not have been the best idea.

Yes, perhaps in hindsight, telling her brother that she was dating his best friend of all people may not have been the best idea.

But seriously, forbidding her from seeing him? That's just…just wrong!

She snorted. It wasn't like she even liked the guy. It wasn't like she grew self-conscious and blushed when she saw that her friends had written Mrs. Tao Ren all over her stuff after their first date. It wasn't like she inwardly celebrated when Ren said that he didn't completely hate the idea of going out with her again.

Puh-lease.

Pirika was a self-sufficient, independent, smart young woman who did not need the validation of some guy to make her feel important because this is the era of the modern woman!

…Yes, she was a self-sufficient, independent, smart young woman who was currently staring at her phone waiting for Ren to call her.

Crap.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

That's what Ren kept saying to himself whenever he saw Pirika talk to another boy. Regardless if even said boy was one of their friends. Something just…something just flared up within him. And it was starting to worry him a little bit since he had absolutely no idea what it was and it had been going on for ten months since Pirika had asked him out.

So he turned to the nearest credible source he could find for a diagnosis.

Oyamada Manta.

Unbeknownst to Ren however, Pirika had gone to see Manta as well earlier, concerning her irrational insecurity whenever she saw a group of girls fawning over him.

Manta could barely keep himself from laughing as he told Ren the exact same thing he told Pirika before.

What they were both experiencing was unconditional regard.

Ren stared at the shorter boy, waiting for an explanation.

Manta sighed. Did Ren feel overprotective of her?

The other boy shrugged. Well, of course he did since—

Manta raised his hand to cut him off. Do you feel begrudgingly better after seeing her? Do you feel jealous whenever you hear her talk to other boys? Do you accept her no matter what even if she's super annoying or immature or outright impossible sometimes?

Ren paused for a moment before nodding.

Manta quirked an eyebrow in pleasant surprise. The Tao boy's got it bad…

He sat there in silence, trying to process everything. Then, what did Manta propose he do to make it go away?

The Oyamada heir simply snorted. You can't make it go away by force, he explained. The best thing you can do is to acknowledge it and then see where it takes you from there.

Ren didn't really understand what any of that meant but he figured that it didn't really matter anyways.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

That's what Pirika kept trying to tell her friends after nearly a year of dating Ren. They were so convinced that she was in love with him.

This just sent Pirika into a wave of giggles before she waved her hand dismissively at them. It wasn't love, she explained slowly. It was unconditional regard. Those were two com-puh-letely separate things.

But something at the back of Pirika's mind kept nagging her. Why hadn't she broken up with Ren? What'sherface from France had given her the tickets already and the concert had wrapped up a long time ago. But more importantly, why hadn't Ren broken up with her? That was the biggest mystery. As far as everyone was concerned, Ren was an avid subscriber of misanthropy. And to add to that, she was pretty sure she saw her name jotted down on a list labeled "People to Stab with a Butter Knife after Graduation" she had found on his desk before. Or had her name been crossed out?

She shoved those things out of her mind and focused on her task at hand that Manta had been bugging her for weeks now. Telling Ren about her unconditional regard.

She bit her nail worriedly. What if Ren didn't…unconditionally regard her back? And she couldn't think of any other way of telling him aside from standing outside his bedroom window holding a sign that said I Unconditionally Regard You!

Manta had simply laughed and reassured her that she would find a way.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

Right? That's what his parents asked him after he had cringed when they brought up the impending marriage to what'sherface from France.

He remained silent. It was true ever since the beginning. It wasn't really supposed to matter. That's what he had told them. Heck, that's what he had told himself for the longest time. That's what his relationship with Pirika was based on.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

But then his entire life was all about how things were supposed to turn out. How people were supposed to behave. How he was supposed to act. Wasn't he getting a little tired of how everything was supposed to be?

The last year with Pirika was the most frightening, unpredictable, uncertain twelve months of his entire life. He had nearly died when he went on a rollercoaster with her, suffered from food poisoning when she finally convinced him to try raw octopus, and endured humiliation and a concussion when Horohoro, seized in a fit of overprotective older brother rage, smacked Ren upside the head with his snowboard in front of the whole school during graduation practice.

So many people told them they weren't going to last. His parents outright forbade him from seeing her. His mother absolutely hated Pirika and thought this whole unconditional regard thing was a joke. That they didn't even understand what it meant to care about another person. That they were just two stupid kids who didn't know the first thing about relationships.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

But then why, when he finally regained awareness, did he find himself kicked out of his house for defying his parents and refusing the engagement?

Well.

Shit.

What was he supposed to do now?

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

Manta groaned as Pirika repeated it again. Really, it wasn't.

Finally, the diminutive boy snapped. Why doesn't she just tell Ren that she loves him?

Pirika blinked. It was unconditional regard, not love…that's what Manta had told her at least.

The Oyamada boy slapped his face. Unconditional regard is love! he exclaimed. That wonderful but dreadful feeling you get when you're around him, that insecurity you get when you see him around other girls, that unconditional, complete acceptance of him, faults included, no matter what…

That's love.

And Pirika had best be getting a move on in telling Ren that before he goes and gets married.

She fell completely silent. Ren was…Ren was getting married?

Manta smothered his face in frustrated. Yes, he was getting married…to what'sherface from France.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

What'sherface from France always inwardly cringed whenever she heard Ren or Pirika say that. Because she knew that it was the opposite. She wanted it to matter. She wanted them to work…not only because she really, really wasn't a huge fan of this whole arranged marriage business (seriously, it's so nineteenth century) but also because she knew that Pirika and Ren were supposed to be together…somehow. She could just feel it. She couldn't imagine any other two people being better suited for each other (aside from Yoh and Anna…but that's a different story).

So when she found herself face to face with Ren in front of their wedding altar…she knew it.

This marriage wasn't really supposed to matter…to either of them.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

You know, seeing the only person you've ever loved for the first time in seven years.

She had done the whole sacred ritual of getting over your first true love that has been passed down from female generation to female generation: chocolate, ice cream, sad love songs, angry love songs, sappy chick flicks where the guy and the girl actually get together, ass-kicking female empowerment movies where the girl becomes an awesometastic success…

You know, the works.

But when she stepped through those gates those seven years came crashing down around her in a chaotic mess of smoke, flames, and scrap metal.

Seven years of telling herself that she deserved better, building herself up, bashing him, convincing herself that she was a self-sufficient, independent, smart young woman who did not need the validation of some guy to make her feel important because this is the era of the modern woman… or… something… or… erm…

Yeah, that wasn't going to work out anymore.

Don't get her wrong, she had spent seven years living happily. She knew she could be happy without him going about her daily routine: working at a job she loved, going back home to a house she had put together herself, seeing friends she cared about. But within those seven years she also knew that to be beyond complete, beyond happy…she maybe…sort of…kinda…needed…

Ren smirked at her and held up a ringless left hand as if to prove that the picture what'sherface from France sent Pirika hadn't been Photoshopped.

It wasn't really supposed to matter.

But hey, love, or I mean, unconditional regard has this terrible, wonderful, awkward little way of never working out the way it's supposed to.

Because sometimes it's about getting Utada Hikaru concert tickets. Other times it's about getting your best friend's younger sister to stop bugging you. But most of the time it's about discovering what you unconditionally regard and doing whatever it takes to keep it by your side.

No matter what.

A/N: Happy birthday again! And I learned about unconditional regard in my AP psych class. lawlz. So nothing much else to say other than:

1. check out my other gift one-shot (It's a Girl Thing-Yoh/Anna) that I posted

2. don't forget about the contest!

3. I just realized I update my LJ really, really frequently. So check that out if you want to check out my progress and friend me if you have one! (you can also friend me on facebook if you want-don't be shy!)

PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW, YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE!

edit: so one of my reviewers asked me why I didn't mention Jeanne by name (aka, "what'sherface from France" in this story) and i thought it would be interesting if I shared it with you:

1. To poke fun at how SK fans usually relegate Jeanne to a minor supporting character role when her function in SK is pretty big. I was going through some SK forums once and I actually saw people refer to her as "what's-her-name" or "the crazy chick with the silver hair"

2. Throughout the story, there are only four points of view (Ren's, Pirika's, Ren's parents', and Jeanne's). Even though Manta, Yoh, Anna, and Horo are mentioned, they don't actively play a part in the Ren and Pirika's relationship (one can argue that Manta did but all he did was simply guide and advise...hardly any grounds for acting as a catalyst or an obstacle to the relationship). I didn't mention Ren's parents by name or Jeanne by name to create a sense of isolation for the readers towards them. I really wanted to maximize the reader's attention towards Ren and Pirika because I wanted the story to be about just them. I wanted to illustrate that other people didn't matter when it came to Ren and Pirika's relationship which is why the other people who played an active part in it (ie: Ren's parents and Jeanne) remained nameless.

so...now you have an idea of how much time goes into planning my stories! :) and don't forget to review!