Disclaimer: Firstly the Harry Potter characters belong to J. K. Rowling, Secondly and most importantly, I got the idea for the plot from Atheis. I've even written to her to ask for permission.

Snape scowled darkly as his gaze swept over the entire potions class. God, he hated them.

His eye came to rest on Neville Longbottom. Granger was tutoring the buffoon, as usual. He slouched over to Longbottom's pot.

"I'm warning you Longbottom," he drawled relishing the terrified look spread across the boy's face. "This potion better be perfect, boy, do you hear me, PERFECT! " The boy nodded violently, "And I mean without Granger's help." Both he and Granger turned red.

"By the way, thirty seconds till inspection." Their jaws dropped, "But-but—" Granger sputtered, "Twenty seconds more!" Snape yelled as if he hadn't heard her.

Neville started working feverishly, he threw everything he could get his hands on into his cauldron, "Ten, nine, eight…" he broke into a cold sweat as the potions master begun the countdown, "five, four…" the class begun to stare at Neville in amazement as he deftly ground his wand into a fine powder and tossed it into the pot which was bubbling and slopping over its brim.

"Two, one! Stop work…Longbottom I thought I instructed you to stop work? Longbottom! Get you paws off that girl! Look here! Hey! I insist you give her back her hair! Wait a minute…" A deranged Neville with curiously twitching eyes advanced on Snape.

"Get away from me! Do you here! St-Stand back!" The students screamed warnings as Neville backed Snape towards his cauldron, which was now shooting arrows of some burning liquid in all directions.

"I'm warning you!" shrieked Snape, " Stand back! No! Get away from- AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Uhhhhh…." Snape groaned, he opened his eyes to see Madam Pomphrey, Dumbledore and the entire potions class staring down at him.

He knew something was wrong, he felt strange, he felt different, he felt…"Peculiar. I'm feeling very peculiar at the moment." A feminine voice said, voicing his thoughts.

Why are they all staring at me like that? He thought. "What do you think, Poppy?" muttered Dumbledore, his eyes as big as tennis balls. "Never seen anything like this in my life." She muttered back, her eyes were as big as dinner plates.

Snape got up groggily to his feet, there was definitely something wrong, he truly felt different, and he felt heavy around the chest for one thing. People begun to snigger, even Dumbledore and Poppy smirked.

"Why? What are you snickering about?" there was that female voice again. Ron exploded in laughter, "He sounds like he's on helium!" he chocked. By no the whole room was in tears. Snape also felt rounder around the hips…

"A mirror, I want a mirror!" he exploded, where was that damn voice coming from! Everybody was laughing too hard to pay him any attention howev.

Snape grabbed his wand, his hand shaking violently. A mirror appeared before him.

Snape saw himself, but it couldn't be! Snape didn't have huge dark eyes, and thick red lips and full bulging breasts!

 "Looking good, Professor!" Malfoy gasped.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

For the second time that day, Severus Snape fainted.

A/N: Heh heh! Ain't I a stinker?