Title: Contractual
Author: The Deadly Hook
E-mail: deadlyhook@stakeme.com
Disclaimer: It was amandakb's story "Blurry" on this site that brought up the idea of Buffy and Spike drawing up a "contract" on their relationship. Can't help it; I grabbed the idea and ran away with it. Props to amandakb for the original thought. And duh, ownership of the characters etc. is all Joss Whedon and ME. Not mine.
Rating: PG, refers to stuff shown on show.
Genre: General/Romance. Shippy, because I would love to hear these two really talk again.
Spoilers: S6.
Feedback: Still new at the fiction thing. Be gentle with the feedback, if so inclined.
Site: www.stakeme.com. Much blathering about deep issues in the form of episode reviews.
Summary: Two-character dialogue. Some point in speculative S7, AU now. Buffy and Spike want to give things another try. They have issues. They try to put them on paper.... First of three stories written in August 2002, before the S7 season premiere.
........."Rules. You want to write down a list of rules. Dos and Don'ts."
"That's right."
"You have to be joking."
"It's not so crazy. They have them on some college campuses y'know... like a code of conduct."
"Oh, say "mother may I" before I touch your breast, is that what we're talking about? Thanks for..."
"Something like that."
"...the vote of confidence. You don't even believe that I've changed at all, do you? And you know, you know that what I did to you is the one thing that I..."
"That's not what I'm saying, okay? It's just... Look, we've both made mistakes. Big ones, alright? I just want to..."
"...regret most in the world. I don't even know why I agreed to...."
"Look, will you just listen for a minute?"
"To what? This isn't going to work, Buffy."
"It isn't if you won't work with me on this. God! Why do you have to be so..."
"You're the one who made the big speech about how you really do trust me."
"I do, okay. I do. It's just... Look... the idea is just to help us write down things we don't want to happen again, okay? So we don't repeat old mistakes. That's all. I make a rule for you, and then you make one for me, and at the end, we have this list. Like guidelines, so we know how we'd like things to be. And we can work together to make sure that... things turn out better."
"In my day they called that etiquette."
"Well, whatever. It's supposed to help with trust issues. I mean, with us it's always been so... We've never been so good with the talking. Or I haven't been, okay? But I believe... I want to believe things can be better. I really do. I just... I think we need to start from scratch. Clean slate. Clean sheet of paper. And... just what are you smiling about?"
"Back in school then, are you?"
"Night class. I start next week."
"And this little list project is from which of the sciences?"
"Psych."
"Of course."
"I'm clearing up my incompletes. And I'm kinda nervous about it, so don't start..."
"Wasn't going to start anything. Wondering how you're going to pull off a night class, though, Slayer duties and all that. How many nights a week?"
"Two. I thought maybe you could patrol with Dawn."
"You asked her about that?"
"Not yet. She's still kinda upset with you."
'Yeah, well, so am I. Not sure it's a good idea. If she's doesn't want.. "
"Look, I know it's hard, but if you're gonna be around, she's gotta get used to it sometime. And this is the best icebreaker I could think of. She's still so new at the patrolling. You can help her. She should be okay with that. Teach her that spin-punchy thing. That oughtta work great with her long arms."
"Maybe."
"We'll talk about it later. Can we do this now? Spike?"
"Alright."
"Okay. Goes like this. Two columns. I make up a rule for you, and I type it in here. What?"
"If you can touch-type, I'm a monkey's uncle."
"Shut up. I can use two fingers like anyone else."
"I guess we'll be blurry with speed getting this done, then. You want me to longhand it?"
"No. I want it in the computer so I can move the words around. It's easier. Now here's my first rule. No more 'make me, stop me' stuff. And don't get that look alright? I don't mean... It's just... It's important to write it down."
"Wasn't going to..."
"I know that. Your turn. You make up a rule."
"Look, why don't you make up the list. I'll just sign at the bottom. In blood, if you like."
"It's not that kind of list. We're supposed to work on it together, otherwise there's no point. It's a collaborative thing. Oh, c'mon, just think of something. Give me a rule."
"Fine. No punching me in the face."
"Okay. No punching. My turn. No sneaking around."
"Is that one for you or for me?"
"Well... both of us, I guess. I'll make a new column. See? You next."
"No kicking me in the stomach."
"Okay. How about 'no more black market dealing.' What's yours?"
"No kicking me in the head."
"Fine. Can we just get that down to 'no hitting'? And I'm going to make that a 'both of us' rule. No hitting. How's that."
"Fine."
"No lying."
"Right."
"Look, it's important to write it all down, okay? Now give me another rule."
"No name calling."
"That's too vague. It's not specific enough what I'm supposed to avoid."
"You need specific names? Okay, fine. Disgusting. Thing. Think we can leave out 'soulless,' but I'll give you an option on 'evil.' Yet to be determined, isn't it?"
"Spike, I..."
"Wait. Want to add one. Convenient."
"I'm... okay. I'm really trying here."
"I thought that was supposed to be a 'we,' as in 'we' are really trying here."
"It is. That's why we're doing this. Because... because we both want the 'we,' right? So please, just don't..."
"You gonna type that or not?"
"Fine. I'm typing. 'No calling names.' See me typing the names."
"That's 'i' before 'e', Slayer."
"I got it! Dammit, I hate the... damn buttons stick. I get these extra letters and I can't make them stop."
"You sure can't. Don't bother trying for the stenographer job next."
"Like I'd want to. There. It's done. The electrons did their thing. Now, ooh, can I go next? How about, no more 'you belong in the darkness' crapola. How's that? Happy now?"
"Not particularly. How about, 'no more lying to your friends 'cause you're embarrassed about what they'd think'?"
"Already did that one. No sneaking around."
"Not the same. Lying and sneaking are two different things."
"Well, you'd know, wouldn't you."
"......"
"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"S'alright. Deserved it."
"No, you didn't. You..."
"Did. Shouldn't have upset you."
"No, that's... it's something we have to work on. Both of us. A 'we' rule. 'No hurtful banter,' or something."
"'No insults' would be shorter."
"You're right. Only... isn't that the same as 'no calling names'?"
"Yeah. Think so."
"Okay... so I'll move that to the 'both of us' column. And the 'no lying,' too. Um... I guess I need to add a few more on my side, huh? Should I put in a 'no rubbing your nose in your soulless past'?"
"No, I... Let's just move on with this."
"Spike, c'mon. I get it. I do. I know that you don't feel the same about things now, with the soul and all. This is just a formality. I mean, you..."
"Look, forget it, alright? It's okay. I've got a lot of past. Not going to pretend it didn't happen. Just need to make up for it, best I can. Take responsiblity. That's what this whole thing is about, isn't it? Remind me what's on the line here."
"You're not the only one who needs to..."
"I get that. So just... feel free to rub my nose in it. It's for the best. Anything else?"
"You weren't, you know."
"What?"
"Convenient."
"I know. Didn't hurt less for knowing, but... thanks for that."
"You're welcome."
"Don't really want you to change anything, you know that, right? Perfect girl, you are. Except for the hitting and the name calling."
"That's why the 'both of us' column is so..."
"Don't even really mind the hitting, most of the..."
"Oh! I just remembered. One more. For you."
"Oh god, now what."
"No smoking in the house."
"Oh, for... bloody California! What is it about smoking, anyway?"
"I don't want the furniture to smell like smoke."
"So get one of those sprays from the late night commercials. Knock the dog smell right out of carpets. Old men's cigar smoke, even."
"Right, because I have so much extra time for housecleaning."
"So give me the damn can, and I'll do it. C'mon, love, going outside'll be a little hard for me to pull off in the daytime. Or am I no longer an overnight guest since yesterday?"
"Don't be so sensitive! You shouldn't even be awake in the daytime."
"I get insomnia. Busy brain."
"You wish!"
"Laughing at me now?"
"I can laugh if you're funny. Anyway, the porch has an awning. I'll get you one of those nice covered ashtrays."
"Be still my unbeating heart. My own ashtray. What's next, a drawer in your bedroom?"
"You want one? I guess I could spare a little extra space for a few of your tacky shirts... Spike? You okay?"
"......"
"......"
"You... really offering? A drawer."
"Maybe. Let's just... see how things go, alright? We shouldn't..."
"Shouldn't rush, agreed. One day at a time then."
"One day at a time. So should I print this out?"
- end -