Okay, so there's a story behind this one: my sister used to drive me to school sometimes, and she would always tell me stories, and now that she's in college, she still tells me stories, and then finally she told me to tell her a story, and since my life is boring, I made up a long rambling story incorporating The X-Files and Star Trek. It doesn't make sense, but it's just a fun, random story. Enjoy!
There once was a man who lived in a great dark forest and his name was Bruce Bruce Bruce Cheeseman Cubed III. One day, he went on a walk through the great dark forest...and never came back. His wife, Georgia Anne Cheeseman Cubed, wondered what happened to him. So she called Mulder and Scully and said "My husband disappeared and I don't know what happened to him!!" but Mulder, who had answered the phone said "You're stupid and I don't want to talk to you no more!" and slammed the phone down. Scully overheard this and said "What'd you do that for, you stupid loser? We need all the work we can get!" so Mulder called Georgia Anne Cheeseman Cubed back and said reluctantly "Okay, we'll come and investigate" and Georgia Anne said "Oh thank you so very much!!" and hung up the phone.
So then Mulder and Scully show up with Janeway and Picard and Georgia Anne exclaimed "My, what strange clothes you wear!" because they had forgotten to change out of their silly Starfleet uniforms and they still had their phasers and tricorders, so they ran in opposite directions into the woods to contact their respective ships and asked for a beam-down of 20th Century Earth clothes and sent their future technology back to their ships then changed into their new clothes and ran back to Georgia Anne's house where Georgia Anne then proceeded to exclaim "Oh my! Weren't you just wearing different clothes?!" and bald Jean-Luc Picard said awkwardly, "Uh, yes, well, um..." and Janeway said "We had always keep a spare change of clothes with us, just in case we ever got our clothes wet and need to change." Georgia Anne thought this was a very sensible thing to do and she nodded and said so.
So anyway, back to the main story. Georgia Anne walked over to Mulder and Scully who were studying a trail of ginormous footprints and trying to identify what it was from when Mulder stood up and threw his hat in the air and caught it in his teeth and Georgia Anne thought this was a very strange thing to do and she asked Mulder, "What did you do that for?" and he said "THE ALIENS ARE COMING THE ALIENS ARE COMING!!" and started running around in little circles and Georgia Anne said "Isn't it 'the British are coming'?" but no one listened to her and then Mulder disappeared in a transporter beam sent from Voyager meant to only catch Janeway and Picard, only it was too wide so everyone except Scully and Georgia Anne were swept up to Voyager and they were both like "Woah, what happened?"
Meanwhile, up on Voyager, Chakotay and Tuvok met Janeway, Picard, and Mulder in the transporter room, each with a surprised look (well, not so much on the Vulcan) on his face, but none was more surprised than Mulder's. Janeway just looked at Chakotay and said "Who set that transporter on wide range?" and he said "It wasn't me!" and then Mulder asked "What the hell is going on here?!" but no one listened to him. Janeway then tapped her Comm badge and called the bridge. Harry Kim said "Captain? I thought you were still down on the surface!" and Janeway answered "I'm supposed to be, but someone set a transporter beam on wide range and beamed us up without orders." and Harry said "Well, ma'am, I'm not sure who beamed you up, but I would guess Commander Chakotay or Lieutenant Tuvok might know." and Janeway said "Thank you, Ensign, I'll ask them now." and she turned to look at them and said "Well?" and Chakotay looked down at the ground and Tuvok said "It would have been illogical for you to remain on the planet." and Janeway said "For what reason?" and Tuvok said "You were about to make a discovery that should not be made yet." and Janeway said "How do you know that?" and Tuvok said "I can't reveal that." and Janeway asked "Why?" and Tuvok replied "Temporal Time Directive." and Janeway muttered "Damn...I hate time travel..."
Meanwhile, Jean-Luc Picard just stood there looking very bald and very confused and Mulder was gaping at the room and all the panels on the walls but not actually seeing any of it; he was just thinking that he had been abducted by aliens who looked like humans and acted like humans but were really big scary things with giant heads and would much rather walk on four legs and while he was imagining all the gruesome things that would be done, he cringed and whined and eventually ended up curled up in a ball in a corner of the room. Janeway was still yelling at her First Officer and Chief of Security and Jean-Luc Picard was standing around looking bald and confused (still).
Now, back on the planet, Georgia Anne was talking to Scully, who was still examining the ground and not paying any mind to Georgia Anne's ramblings and Georgia Anne was getting very exasperated and finally exclaimed "If you're not going to listen to me or help me find my husband why don't you just go home?!" and ran crying into her house and proceeded to cry there until, two hours later, Scully exclaimed "I've got something!" and Georgia Anne ran out of the house and found Scully holding up a scrap of banana peel and had a great big smile on her face and Georgia Anne asked anxiously "Will that help me find my husband?!" and Scully looked up, surprised and asked "Your husband?" and Georgia Anne said "Yes! That's why you're here!" and Scully said "Hmm...that's strange...just this morning I was sitting in my living room watching Star Trek, and those two people, Janeway and Picard, looked very much like the people I saw while watching the show..." she trailed off and suddenly her head jerked up and she exclaimed "My God! That's who they are! They're from Star Trek! They're from the future! And they've come back and chosen us to befriend!" Then Scully ran off into the forest and yelled for a starship to come pick her up, that she wanted to join the ranks of Starfleet...and she was never seen again.
So Georgia Anne went inside her house, searched the TV guide for Star Trek and sat in front of her television for the rest of her life watching as events unfolded in the wonderful world of Star Trek.
THE END