He never really appreciated her.
He knew that.
She damn well knows that.
But she's always been a constant force in his life, a konstantine, an old soul which soothes and nurtures his aches and pains. Her words are soft and forgiving, and her hugs are fierce and forceful. But when he looks into her eyes sometimes, he sees a man he's never been and never will be.
As he rocks her frame against his, he can feel the heavy beatings of her heart, and the gut wrenching sobs vibrating against his chest. He accidently sniffs her and suddenly an overwhelming scent of honey scented shampoo, he scrunches his nose in disgust and winces at how sickenly sweet the damn scent is. He can smell her perfume too, sprayed casually but carefully on her clothes, the silky hand that lingers on his shoulder is covered in vanilla cream musk. And Lucas can't help but close his eyes and in turn, pause his breaths.
He remembers a time when they were still together, and he is taken aback by that sudden thought. As her cries become more hollow, he pulls her closer and instantly regrets it, as the vanilla scent hits him stronger than ever. Suddenly he becomes seventeen again, a time when he was still wearing tacky leather watches and she was still wrapped up in her cute little wedges, and he smiles a little at the memory of her dragging him through the aisles of the supermarket, complaining that this 'cheap place' only sells crappy shampoo that damages your hair. It was then when he tells her that his mother buys her shampoos there and chuckles unoffendedly when he watches her face turn from disgust to embarrassment. He then had to wait for her outside an overpriced boutique that sells overpriced toiletries. When she re-emerged from the store he sees her hands being occupied by two identical bags. 'Is one not enough?' he questions. Brooke flashes her dimples and shrugs, 'one's for Karen, broody.' Lucas didn't really think much of it then, other than it being a nice gesture.
But now he feels like he never really appreciated her.
As he loosens his grip on her, Brooke flashes him a smile, but her eyes were painful and glassy. He reaches down to kiss her forhead and she closes her eyes, it was reflex for her.
Peyton never falters to his touch like she does. Brooke holds on to every kiss, every touch and every smile. It was almost like she tried to paint every detail, every hidden meaning, just to prove that he did belong to her, once in a time.
This hug mirrored their embrace at the airport exactly a year ago, when baby Angie was taken away from her. But this time, it was the death of Victoria Davis, who had lost her life to alcohol overdose. It was a pitiful way for a woman like her to die, and Brooke cried for love lost. Victoria's letter to Brooke was short and to the point, but it contained words she longed to hear all her life.
I love you, and although I never said it out loud, I did. Go change the world Brooke, you deserve it.
Mom.
Brooke's eyes suddenly turned from broken to giddy and almost relieved. Lucas smiled in return that he could make her better. But he was left embarrassed when she rushes out of his arms and into her fiance's.
'Ethan!' She screams.
He takes her into his arms and spins her around. Lucas searches his face for any kind of smugness, but the only evident emotion he had was something he used to have.
It was pure, innocent, honest love and devotion.
'I thought your plane doesn't land till next week!' She continues in her raspy vocie.
Ethan kisses her fully and Lucas couldn't help but turn away, tongues were roaming and so were Brooke's hands. Ethan pulled away and rests his forehead on hers.
'I'm here for you, and I would drop everything to do just that.'
Lucas swore he had to swallow a bit of vomit.
Brooke didn't even look back at him as she held hands with Dr. Ethan, walking off to wherever the hell they went.
Lucas swallowed and sighed, he glanced at his ring finger and noticed that the bruise was still there, even though the ring was removed four months ago.
Damn Peyton, damn Vegas Wedding.