I feel asleep peacefully, the BiPAP droning beside me. I pretended that the sound was coming from my pet dragon, who took to sleeping underneath my bed, and who would protect me from all evil. Right. Yeah. Well, I think I need a new dragon. I mean-it hadn't protected me from the heart-break of Augustus's death, had it?
I woke up suddenly, unable to breath. I only just managed to get out a scream. It was like my lungs were on fire, red-hot, and painful. The fluid. The fluid in my lungs-it's drowning me again. I felt like everything was in slow motion. My parents came bolting up the stairs, and attached me to a portable oxygen tank. Instead of my usual cannula, my dad pulled an oxygen mask over my face, trying to force more air through my lungs. He then scooped me up into his arms, and bolted back down the stairs. Every jolt sent a fresh sear of pain through my lungs. I tried to focus on forcing the air in and out of my lungs, but my mind kept wandering to Augustus. Is this meant to happen? Is it my time to die, and be with Augustus until-well-oblivion? I don't fear death, but I do fear a life without Augustus. These past 3 months haven't even been life at all. If it weren't for my parents and Isaac, there really wouldn't be anything keeping me here. I just wish my sucky lungs would give up. Finally realize that there isn't anything they can do to keep me breathing. When Gus was alive, I would've given anything to have lungs that didn't suck at being lungs. To know that, I won't possibly drown at any given moment. To know that I wasn't a grenade waiting to explode. And with that, I completely slipped out of consciousness.