AN: Voldermort is gone. Sirius and all the other never died, at least the major characters at least. I can't seem to find a way for Dumbledore to actually not die since he's cursed, I could never keep up with the oringinal plot line. Anyway, this is only something I did for fun, whether you like it or not doesn't matter. But I would be grateful if you pointed out flaws, thank you.

"Draco, you're staring again. What's wrong?"

Draco shifted his gaze to Pansy for a while before moving to his dinner. It's no secret to Pansy, Blaise, Gregory or Vincent about what's on his mind, despite what the other students' thinks that they are just Draco's pawn or lackeys, they are as close as what he can consider as close friend, they're always the ones to stand by him no matter what. He really regretted not treating them better when they're younger, he didn't deserve their friendship.

"Nothing Pansy, I'm just thinking about something." Draco replied with a shrug, continuously playing with his food using his fork.

"Something or someone, Draco? I know you feel guilty, we all do, but we can't just walk up to him and start being friendly with them, they'll think it's a prank or we're messing with them. Try not to overthink things." Pansy could only sigh and place her hand on Draco's shoulder trying to comfort him; it's the biggest amount of affection shown in public that Draco is willing to accept.

"Yeah, it's no use overthinking things; all we can do now is just stop terrorising and ignoring them. I'm sure they're grateful enough besides, I doubt they actually wanted to associate with children of Death Eaters…" Blaise place a bite size piece of meat into his mouth and swallowed it before continuing, "I personally think that they are already generous enough that they are still willing to let us go to Hogwarts after all that's happened." both Gregory and Vincent could only nodded in agreement at the statement.

We are not worthy anymore. I'm not worthy.

Draco stood up suddenly shocking his friends, nobody turned to look when Draco went out to the hallways except for the Slytherins with worried expression on their face. Pansy stood up wanting to go after Draco only to be stopped by Gregory's outstretched hand, Pansy turn to see both Gregory and Vincent shaking their heads at her. She could only sit down and trust the two's instinct, they did, after all, spent most of their time with him in school.

"Let him go Pans, he needs some time to think. We'll check on him after dinner if you're still worried." Blaise tried to reassure her, Pansy only nodded and quietly returned to her dinner.

XxxxxxxxxX

Draco strolled around the castle without a destination in mind. How many times has he walked past the same hallway he already miss count. He could remembered the first time his Hogwarts's letter arrived, the excitement and happiness of being able to learn magic properly and knowing that the person he met and talked to at Madam Malkin's was actually Harry Potter, the person he had looked up to, other than his father at the time, ever since he heard stories of him defeating the Voldermort from his mother. And the anger, sad, disappointment and confusion when Potter refused his offer of friendship during his first year, the first person he ever tried to make friend with, not under his father's influence or orders, had rejected him. He didn't get it; he was just following what his father had told him, where did he go wrong?

Later, all those feelings just seem to turn to hate in the following years assuming Potter deem him not worthy of his friendship. Now all he felt was jealously towards the brunette, he envied that he is well-like by everyone, a bright future which he was sure he would never have, a loving and proud family even if his parents are dead, something he would never have no matter how hard he tried, have friends that he can always count on unconditionally, sure he has friends too but he know that he doesn't deserved it, not when he treated the four of them like trash in their younger years. All the professors, except Severus, favour the saviour and are quick to dismiss the Slytherin, more especially after the war. As if they asked for their parent to be Death Eaters, or that they wanted to be one. Did anyone even give them a chance and the choice to choose? The other three houses see them as enemies, and they wonder why Slytherins only care for itself but thanks to that, the Slytherins are more united as ever now.

He hated it. To be more specific, he hated emotions. He hates how he felt humiliation when fake Moody transfigured him into a ferret, anger when Potter rejected him, depression when he was crying in front of Moaning Myrtle who he still remained friends with, fear when under orders by the Voldermort to kill the Headmaster, even the happiness that made him weak towards the harsh conditions he had to lived with.

He hated every single one of them.

Draco stopped at the edge of the Astronomy Tower and sank down to the floor crying, cursing all the emotions that made him human bubbling within him. Why must he have all these emotions, didn't his father already made it clear that all emotions are useless? Why did he have to suffer all these unnecessary things? He was sure that he could survive even without his emotion, no one would care.

Draco stayed up in the tower until 15 minutes before curfew, before returning to the Slytherin common room. Ignoring every one of his friend's questioning and headed straight for his bed, immediately letting the darkness consume him as soon as his head hit the pillow.

"Blaise, I'm worried for Draco. Did you see how he literally drifted back to his room? He seems paler than usual, and there's redness in his eyes…" Pansy shook Blaise's arm, hard, while keeping her gaze at room Draco just went in.

"Any paler and he could've competed against the ghosts, and Pans, your eye is going fall out anytime soon if you don't stop gawking at the door." Blaise gave a small chuckle and pried Pansy's death grip off him before she grabbed any harder.

"I mean it, Zabini! Stop joking about something this serious." Pansy gave Blaise a whack to the arm and started walking in circles in the common room.

"Geez, stop worrying over Draco for every small thing he does, woman! He's not a kid anymore. You think I'm not worried for him too? He's been acting different ever since after the war and it doesn't take a genius to see something is bothering him. It's useless until he's ready to talk to us himself; we just need to be there when he's ready to open up." Blaise retorted, nearly screamed, annoyed at Pansy's constant nagging.

"You better wish you were right Blaise. I can't stand to see him like this." Pansy almost growled at Blaise's tone with her.

Draco was like a little brother to both her and Blaise; they've known him since they were 3 under the introduction through their parents, during their school years it's always Draco looking out for them, all of Slytherins, whenever Professor Snape is not around to help them. More than their own parents, seeing as all of them are busy worrying and preparing over Voldermort's revival.

Untrue to the rumors, the Slytherin are really like a family as the Headmaster wanted them to be, whenever they had the time, all the Slytherins from first to seventh years will all gather for some bonding time, and Draco was always the one entertaining, encouraging and making even the worst of terms House mates get along. To the Slytherins, Draco was like an irreplaceable leader, the string that binds all of them together, they treated him as someone they could trust, more than the Gryffindor loving Headmaster they have. Now that their leader has change after taking the weight of being a Death Eater for all of them, it's their turn to return the favour. But for now, they could only watch from afar, above the darkness that Malfoy has created for himself.