Life of Lana Lang
Narrator: One day.
Lana: Hey I'm born.
Narrator: Four years later.
Lana: I'm outside the flower shop, Hi parents who are standing across the street. Oh look
meteors. Where did go, oh well I'll go live with my aunt who just conveniently
owns the flower shop I'm standing in front of.
Narrator: eight years later.
Lana: I'll play with my friend by this swift flowing river. I fell in, who would have
guessed. My friend saved me, but she drowned oh well.
Narrator: Some more years later.
Lana: I start high school today, Clark why do you always trip around me.
Narrator: And now to save time we'll go double time now.
Lana: Guy tried to kill me, saw Clark.
Gym teacher tried to kill me, I had a corn dog.
Another guy attacked me just for a scholarship, and Whitney and I broke up.
Clark horned in while another guy tried to kill me, Whitney and I got back
together.
A girl tried to kill me that was fun.
More guys tried to kill me; I went horse back riding and Clark tried again after
Whitney went to go play soldier.
Well the rest is I opened a coffee shop with a bald guy.
Went to collage (that was fast), Became a vampire and changed back.
Went to Paris and did a lot of drinking, blacked out for a couple of months and
woke up back in Smallville.
Horned in on Clark, then Lex, back on Clark, married Lex.
Then I was tricked, impregnated, cloned, and found out that I wasn't pregnant.
After that I died.
Narrator: Well that was a good story.
Lana: Wait I'm not done.
Narrator: What! But you said you died, what else is there?
Lana: Well I went to Tokyo, and then came back to Smallville, borrowed Clark's powers.
Did you know he had superpowers?
Narrator: I heard rumors.
Lana: Yeah, well to conclude I tried to kill Lex, lost the powers, and now I'm a lifeless
doll.
Narrator: that's it?
Lana: That's it.
Narrator: Oh thank god! I was about to shot myself!
Lana: Been there done that.