A/N: Okay so I know that I ended my last story kind of sucky, so I decided that I would try to start the sequel and get it done and over with. If you haven't read Hate Me, then I don't think that you will understand what is really going on in this story, cause it's a sequel and that's usually how sequels work. I mean you can read this one with out reading the first one, but you might not get it, for obvious reasons. So the very beginning of this story is the last chapter of Hate Me. Then it starts. Okay so tell me if it sucks, because I really want to know. If you hate it tell me, help me improve my writing by insulting me. Oh and I want to thank a couple of people that reviewed my last chapter of Hate Me:
Lee, vaguelygouged, xxxLotxxx, efka; and I really want to thank Kinky-Bugs for making me laugh! Thanks guys.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters the show, or the songs. I do however own the plot line, its mine and you cant have it!
The past three months had been big for him. He had entered and completed the rehabilitation program, and had come up with a plan to win the love of his life back. All was going well in Jess Mariano's life.
He unlocked the door, and stepped into his apartment. Looking around he realized that not much had changed. He had cleaned, and emptied all of his hiding spots in order to live a sober life. But other then that everything was as she left it. The pictures of them together still donned the mantle place, the rug and furniture they bought together after the rented the apartment hadn't moved an inch since Rory had left that unforgettable day. As he looked around he realized that tomorrow was the day. The day that he would visit stars hollow to try to get her back.
He sucked in a breath as the welcome sign passed quickly. Driving through the back roads was best he decided. No need to bring anymore attention then demanded. He slowed as he came upon the Gilmore house, after of course driving down the block a couple of times to build his confidence. As he finally approach the door, he again sucked in several breaths before knocking.
The moments that passed by where slowly killing him, finally the door swung open to revel his smiling angel, until she saw him in which her expression drastically changed. He smirked and responded the only way he could think of.
"Hi…" she stared him for a long time until she angrily asked him what he was doing there.
"What are you doing here, Jess?"
"I had to see you…" he trailed off as a man that he didn't recognize walked up behind Rory.
"Hey Ror, who's at the door?" the mystery man asked
"But I see it was a mistake." Jess responded quickly as he ran back to his car and drove away
By the time that Rory had realized he was gone it was too late. She was shocked by his sudden appearance and his even more sudden disappearance. As she came to her senses she jumped into her car, and was soon following the same path that the love of her life had traveled just minutes before.
He stumbled into the familiar apartment, with his eyes blood shot and his complexion pale. He expected many things walking in, but none of what his imaginative mind came up with was what reality brought. Rory stood from the couch that she was sitting reminiscing on. When she took in his appearance her demure changed.
"I cant believe you, showing up at my moms like you did and leaving. God what is wrong with you? I thought that you showing up was a sign you know? That something has changed, I show up here thinking that maybe just maybe you would come back. You weren't here, so hey no biggie, he probably had a lot to think about right? I look around and things look good, I was excited to surprise you, to hug you kiss you god, just touch you." She was in tears by this time, but she continued on. "I missed you, and what do you do? You come in like that…I was such an idiot to think that you would change, for me at least. But I guess some things never change no matter how much you want them to." She gave him one final look before leaving the place that she once called home.
It didn't take long for him to run after her. When he didn't find her within sight he headed for his car.
He slowly got into his car and started the engine. The radio automatically turned on to his favorite rock station, he listened to the DJ announce a song that he had never heard before. He listened as the unfamiliar lyrics consumed his brain.
I
have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They
crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little
reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my
head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my
pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I
want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say
that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try
to reach me?
It is I that wanted space
Hate
me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's
good for you
I'm
sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you
helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one
thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for
holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on
myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my
warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me
compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive
so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever
it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate
me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't
do for you
Hate
me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally
see what's good for you
And
with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the
street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I
never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your
face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "make it go
away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used
to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"
Hate
me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't
do for you
Hate
me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally
see what's good for you
As he swallowed what the song said, he came to the one conclusion that he had screwed up. Royally.
By the time that he had followed Rory's path back to Stars hollow it was late. Really late. He made the decision to sleep the night off, and approach her about it in the morning, at least that way she would have time to cool off a little.
Mean while Rory had returned to her home in tears, she walked through the front door to her mothers' home trying to hold in her sobs. The man from early in the night approached her carefully.
"Are you ok Ror?" he asked as gently as he could. She looked up at him with her tearful blue eyes and shook her head.
"No, I'm really not." She could no longer hold in her sobs as the man held her in his arms in a loving hug.
"Is there anything that I can do?" the man asked her in a comforting tone
"Make the pain go away." She said quietly still in his embrace
"I wish I could baby." He replied regretfully
"I wish you could too daddy." She sobbed.
Christopher held her like that until he noticed the tears had stopped, and she had fallen asleep. He carried her into her bedroom and tucked her in, like he wished he could have done when she was a little girl.
The next morning Jess woke up with a hangover yet again. As he sat up the events of the night before came back to him, making his headache seemed to get ten times worse. He dug around in the backseat of his car to find the bottle of aspirin he kept in case of emergencies. He swallowed them dry, which was difficult do to his already dry mouth. He was in pain but he knew that he had to fix the mistake that he had made last night. He tried to clean himself up as much as possible, before leaving his resting place beside the road.
He once again passed the welcome to stars hollow sign, and sighed. This was either going to be the best day of his life or the worst. His money was on the latter, but hopping for the first. He once again approached the Gilmore home, but noticing that an unfamiliar car sat on the drive way he reconsidered knocking on the door, thinking that her window would probably be a wiser decision, he took the plunge and tapped the window lightly with his knuckles.
She was surprised when she woke up to a knocking on the window, but had a feeling to who it would be. When she pulled back the curtains, her suspicion had been correct.
When she came to the window, his guilt had tripled when he noticed the dried tears and swollen eyes of his angel.
"What are you doing here?" She asked hoarsely, yet harshly
"I…" He trailed off not being able to speak do to his still desert mouth. Instead he opted for a mindless question. "Can I have a glass of water?"
She glared. "You know what, no, you can't."
The silence that had erupted was deafening, finally Jess nodded and asked the main question that was on his mind "Who was that guy?"
she looked at him questioningly "What guy?" she knew what he was talking about, but figured it would be more entertaining to watch him squirm.
"That guy from last night."
"oh." She paused for effect "That's none of your business."
He sighed frustrated, but decided not to push the subject. After another uncomfortable silence, Rory opened her mouth to say something only to be cut off by him.
"Will you ever be able to forgive me?"
